"A pretty girl like you shouldn't be eating all alone." Tears streamed down her cheeks, soaking the pillow as fleeting images and sensations cascaded before her eyes in the dark. Alone and shivering in her bed, she recalled that the silken caress of his gelatinous form had felt so real against her dream-self's flesh. Her body tingled with the urgent need that had been awoken by her vivid dream. As she closed her eyes, she could hear his gravely voice whispering promises of eternal love and devotion in her ears as he worshiped at the temple that was her body. Sobbing softly, she rolled onto her side and sought her escape in the dreams that had delivered her so readily before from the cold reality of her life. Squeezing her eyes shut against the harsh reality of the memories that was besieged against her, she feverishly clung to the to the flimsy flights of fancy that carried her away into fantasy where her beloved awaited her only a dream away. The memories of the day rallied around her, dragging her back into the cold embrace of reality as they one by one assaulted her and crumbled her fragile defenses.
Kira Nerys had sprinted down the length of the docking ring until she had reached the airlock where the Dominion envoy ship was docked at and had waited breathlessly to catch a glimpse of him as the Gamma Quadrant diplomats had disembarked. She had felt her fragile heart shatter upon the realization that he wasn't amongst their numbers. Masking her pain, she had forced herself to perform her duties in light of the fact that her heart was breaking yet again. After greeting the Dominion delegation with all the respect that was commanded by Starfleet protocol, she had escaped to her quarters to cry over his absence once again.
Admitting that sleep, for the night at least, was going to elude her, Kira rolled over her bed with a heavy sigh. "Quarter lights," as soon as the words had left her mouth the computer responded. In the dim lighting, she wandered aimlessly into her sitting room. The lateness of the hour reassured her that despite her current state of undress that she wouldn't be having any unexpected visitors. Leaning against the wall for support, "raktajino with two measures of kava." The replicator hummed in response as it produced her order. Gingerly grasping the mug, she aimlessly wandered across the room and collapsed on the sofa, tucking her right leg beneath her.
After Odo's departure to cure his people of Section 31's engineered plague and to try to educate them in regards to the modern universe, solids in general; Kira's restless nights had been haunted with dreams of her absent Changeling lover. While her mind understood his absence, her continuously breaking heart could not. She had tried on numerous occasions, with the enthusiastic support of both Doctor Bashir and Dax, to move on with her life. The problems that she faced was the fact that where ever she went, Kira would recall a conversation or an incident in this corridor or that. She would her his voice softly speaking her name as she passed by the Security Office on the station's promenade, or remember an off-handed comment that he had made. In short, the station itself reminded her of what she had sacrificed: what they had sacrificed.
Late at night, when sleep evaded her, Kira couldn't help but feel like laughing at the self-pitying figure that she had become. She felt guilty for hating him; Hating him because all she had to look forward to was an empty cabin and a cold bed. During the day she felt like a traitor to him when she would cast an appraising eye on one man or another who crossed paths with her. When she had confided to Dax, the young Trill had seen right through her. "Did he say that he would return in a year? Two years? Three or four? Nerys, you need to move on. Odo wouldn't want to be a source of pain for you, he'd want you to be happy." Grimacing at the memory, she wiped a rogue tear from her cheek. Kira rationalized that if anyone knew the truth behind Dax's advice, it was herself. To date, Kira never knew the final count on how many times that Odo had sacrificed chance after chance to let her know exactly how he had felt about her and had placed her own happiness above and beyond anything else. What little she did know, shattered the remnants of her broken heart. Kira hated herself, because afterwards she would curse him in every language that she knew for not speaking up sooner and for not giving them the chance to be together longer then a few too short months.
Vivid images of Gaia floated to the surface of her mind, memories of a settlement that had ceased to exist; too never exist, because she needed a life-saving treatment that could only be had back on Deep Space Nine. Kira remembered the two hundred plus version of her best friend and former lover and how the present, the now Odo, had slowly began to blossom in a bittersweet and ghostly resemblance shortly before his return to the Great Link. In a blink of an eye, the memories shifted to another set; equally painful in hindsight. Whether it was the generosity of the Prophets or not, Kira found herself reliving the death of Vedek Bareil as his brain had slowly shut down; gradually killing him as he lay prone on the bio-bed in the infirmary. His unnecessary loss had only served to fuel the hatred for the then-Kai Winn, which resulted in the less then sympathetic feelings of loss when word had filtered back to the station that her body had been discovered in the now dormant Fire Caves. But through it all, he was there; there to comfort and listen to her through the tears and frustrations. Odo had been the wall at her back, the rock on which she leaned on during whatever crisis her life was going through. Through it all, he had been a constant, one that she had taken for granted numerous times and not that he was gone, Kira felt herself spiraling into nothingness with no hope of there being someone to catch her.
Cautiously drawing a test sip from her steaming mug, Kira fought the strong urge to spit the boiling hot liquid from her mouth as it scolded her tongue and the roof of her mouth. It seemed to Kira that the Prophets themselves were trying to subtly tell her something, despite the lack of an Orb for which to facilitate their communications. Wincing at the discomfort caused by the raktajino's temperature, she conceded that perhaps Winn had been in her own way following the will of Bajor's Prophets despite the fact that she had used the office of her people's most powerful spiritual figurehead to further her own gains. "The Prophets work in mysterious ways," Captain Sisko had once commented off-handedly during a conversation with the station's vedek at the time. Kira found herself agreeing with the man that Kai Opeka had recognized for all time as the Emissary. Kira blew gently on the surface of the raktajino as her thoughts and memories continued to take her mind back down the worn beaten path into the past. The surface rippled gently, tugging on another memory from her past.
As they made their way to an alien-looking amber lake, Kira absently noted that despite the obvious evidence of flora there was no sun to light their way on the planet's surface. As if they were of a single mind, both she and Odo had come to an abrupt stop at the lake's edges. Kira gazed with wide-eyed wonder into the horizon as the calm lake seemed to stretch beyon, before glances over at her companion. She watched as her Shapeshifter friend gazed into the golden body before them, seemingly transfixed with wondrous joy. The sound of moving liquid drew her attention back to the shimmering lake and she watched in a mixture of joy and pleasure as several pillars erupted from the calm surface. Slowly the columns seemed to melt and sculpt themselves simultaneously into a rough statuesque form before gradually carving details that morphed into unfinished faces similar to the one that Odo wore.
Kira noted that while their bodies were more detailed, mimicking the differences between male and female by the shape and size of the curvatures, they had fashioned simply Bajoran style tunics. Perhaps for Odo's benefit? She had thought at the time as she watched the nearest one, who appeared to be female, glide across the surface the amber lake without causing the simplest ripple. Kira bit back the bitter taste of being ignored, unwilling to ruin the moment for her friend. "Welcome home," the female shapeshifter had said to an overwhelmed Odo.
Tears stung Kira's eyes as the memory was abruptly banished back to the recesses of her mind. After the life he had been forced into leading, separated from those of his own kind and then to be persecuted when his choices went against the collective demand, Kira couldn't stop herself from wishes that Odo had never found his people to begin with. Long before she had known of the true extent of his feelings for her, Kira had felt his hurt at the discover of exactly who his people were. She had tried to show him that despite who his people were, he wasn't like them and that he did indeed have very strong links outside of the Great Link.
Drinking a comforting sip from the cooled off raktajino, she gently rocked herself. While she still didn't know the full rationalizations behind his initial rejection of his people, Kira had finally wrangled it out of him that she had been the catalyst one night after they had been together for a few weeks. She had accepted that part of his decision had been based upon who his people really were, but Kira didn't know the rest. Sighing, "and I probably never will." She had never pressured him for answers, answers that he had been obviously unwilling to give, and had settled for that part of him that he would only share with her in the privacy in either one of their quarters. By the time that he had decided that it was time to return, there wasn't a part of him that Kira didn't know and she had felt honored that he had shared himself completely with her. Looking down at the beverage in her hands, Kira set the mug on the table. The raktajino had grown too cold and she found herself no longer in the mood for it.
From the corner of her eye, Kira noted something glistening on her prayer mandala. Turning her head slightly, she gasped as a shimmer of golden liquid shot into the air and was swallowed by the ceiling over her quarters. Stumbling over her own feet, Kira unceremoniously crashed to the floor as the liquid disappeared over head. As she cursed at herself, she hobbled into her bedroom as she called out. "Security, report to Colonel Kira's quarters, intruder alert! Watch out, it's a Changeling!" As she slipped the sash around her robe into a tight knot, Kira wondered if it had been Odo lurking there. But why would he conceal his presence, Nerys? She shook her head sadly, remembering that there were only three Founders aboard the station and neither were hers.
She had just finished the final loop on her robe when Kira heard her quarter's door open and the distinct sound of footsteps. "Colonel Kira, where is he?" Lieutenant Nimoy asked as he approached her, his phaser hanging limply at his side.
The Bajoran Colonel stared in exasperation at the station's current Starfleet security chief. "The Changeling just disappeared into my ceiling." The Bajoran deputies quickly set themselves the task of scanning every micro-inch of Kira's quarters.
"With all due respect, Colonel, that's not possible." Bajoran Deputy N'eerg said, "I just spoke with Ambassador Tsubasa outsideof Quark's and he informed me that the other two Founders where resting in their suites. Sir, I know that they can move fast, but I don't think that even they can move that fast."
"So, I'm hallucinating then? Perhaps there is more then the three Founders that we are aware of on this station. And since when do we take the word of a Founder over the station's commander!" Kira snapped as she drew the robe tighter against her lean frame. Whirling on her chief of security, "question the Founders. Find out where they have been since they've come on board the station. I also what you to speak with Doctor Bashir, have him help you track their movements using the station's internal sensors. As I understand, every living thing leaves behind a cellular trail."
"Don't worry, Colonel. Believe it or not, I do know how to do my job. However, I am deeply sorry that I am not in the same caliber as your Constable Odo. It seems to me that I lack his unique...skills." Lieutenant Nimoy said dryly. He held up his hand to stall her outraged protests. "But rest assured that I will throughly question our Gamma Quadrant guests, though I can't quite believe that they've traveled ninety thousand light years just to satisfy a voyeuristic kink."
Kira fumed silently as Nimoy's personnel quickly wrapped up their scans and followed him out of her quarters. Feeling exposed and naked, Kira grabbed some clothes from her wardrobe. She stood in the middle of her bedroom, looking uncertain back and forth between her bathroom and door to her quarters. Abruptly her started walking of their own accord, taking her through her quarters and out the door. It was as though an outside force was controlling her, guiding her way through the officers' section of the Habitat Ring. Looking up, Kira nearly jumped out of her skin as she realized where her feet had unconsciously led her to. Fresh tears spilled down her cheeks as she punched in the access code as she held the small bundle of clothing tightly to her chest.
Stepping across the threshold, Kira fell to her knees and sobbed. Despite the lack of furnishings, she could still feel the ghost of his presence lingering. Sniffling, she crawled through the quarters and into the bathroom. After starting the sonic shower, Kira peeled off her robe and tossed it into the recycler before stepping into the sonic shower. The Bajoran slumped against the stall's wall as sobs wracked her lean body once agin. "Odo where are you!" Kira pounded the walls alternating only to kick out at them before collapsing to the floor, her legs tucked beneath her as her body assumed a prayer-like posture. "Prophets, watch over him and guide him as his destiny has taken him far from the gates of the Celestial Temple. Keep my heart in health, ease his pain and keep him safe." Kira's voice broke with emotion before she fell silent, willing the gods of her people to hear her prayer.
Turning the shower off, Kira wearily slipped on the bundle of clothes that she'd brought on her trek from her own quarters. Fresh tears collected at the rims of her eyes as she noticed that for the first time the quarters wasn't as empty as she had previously thought. Kira flung herself down on the bed tucked up against the wall and curled in on herself into a fetal position. The swell of moisture in her eyes overflowed and spilled down her cheeks to soak into the pillow. In between gut wrenching sobs, Kira yawned. As sleep crept upon her, Kira's thoughts stayed with the shapeshifting thief who had stolen her heart.
A groan escaped her lips as her eyes moved rapidly behind closed lids. Kira tossed her head back and forth as her hands clutched the bedding tightly, her knuckles turning a ghastly shade of white. Her legs kicked out, trying in vain to strike invisible assailants from her dream. "No, Odo!" Kira screamed as her sleeping body threshed around in response to the dream events. Abruptly Kira jerked upright, a fine sheen of sweat coating her body as she willed her racing heart to slow. "Odo," she whispered into the darkness engulfing her. Kira's brow furrowed as she tried to recall scrapes of dream memory.
"Shh, Nerys, it was only a bad dream." A familiar gravely voice whispered into her ear as strong arms encircled her and held her tightly.
Surrendering instantly, Kira snuggled against the lean form of her lover. Lying her head on his collarbone, she sighed contentedly. "I've missed you, Odo, more then I can possibly ever tell you."
"I know, Nerys, but must move on and find someone who can make you happy."
A soft smile made its way onto her face as she relished the feel of his fingers stroking her hair. "There's no one, my love." Shifting so that she lay half on him, "how could there be? A pagh has but two pieces that perfectly match in every conceivable way and you're my missing piece."
"Nerys, please..."
"Odo, let's not fight. We've been apart for four years and I, for one, don't want to spoil our reunion." Kira yawned as her lover rested his chin on the top of her head.
"Sleep, Nerys, I'll be here to watch over you." Odo whispered softly as he drew a blanket over her.
Yawning, "but I am." Sighing softly, she snuggled contentedly against her phantom lover and drifted into a dreamless sleep.
Disguised as an elderly Vulcan, Odo passed by his old office. Superstitiously, he glanced inside and absently noted the absence of security personnel manning the office. His pace quickened as the roar of the crowd from within called to him. Feeling a rush of adrenaline coursing through his being as beneath the "solid" exterior of his form tiny ripples cascaded through his body. "Four years is a long time, I wonder...I just wonder what kind of reaction I can get out of you, Quark." He muttered softly to himself as he reached the threshold of the Frengi's gambling establishment.