Ways of Affection
af·fec·tion
n.
1. A tender feeling toward another; fondness.
2. A bodily condition; disease
I.
Chris remains in his room, hidden behind the stereo; the soft even breathing of his family surrounds him. Their pulse and soft sighs fill his mind and overflow into his throat. He can't breathe. The thirst is suffocating him, and all he can do is rock himself back and forth and when dawn finally arrives it finds him wan and unprepared.
His teeth, no fangs, are still overcrowding his mouth and calling for blood.
"Oh god, oh god" He says over and over, even though he has never placed any great amount of faith in any deity. He is dead before eight.
II.
Although the thirst over powers him he manages to fall asleep at some point during the night. When he wakes he is not behind the stereo anymore, he is, in fact, not even in his room.
When his mother came to wake him she found all the evidence she ever needed. He is sentenced to be lynched tomorrow morning, up and dead before the sun has even risen. All he can do now is wait. After that he has all of eternity.
III.
He cannot deny himself any longer; he climbs out the window and leaves it open so that the curtains billow from the cold night wind. He finds his way back to the church where Chet first introduced him to Dr. Chasuble. They are still gathered there, and he is able to talk his way into being one of them; when he first tastes the bloodied flesh that are served to the youngest he feels free.
IV.
They do not listen. They all rush at him at once, swarming him, the knowledge of his betrayal bright in their eyes.
V.
When he reaches the old abandoned church, they have all gone. He is so thirsty and can not imagine making another trip. So he lies down on the old creaking boards and welcomes his fate with open arms.
VI.
He does not make it all the way to the church; on the way there he runs into Rebecca Schwartz. Rebecca whose head he would stare at in English. Who was interested in white magic and the Cabala. Who is with Tom and never with him.
"What is it Chris? What's the- oh."
His thoughts are all muddled and he feels Rebecca staring at his mouth and-
"I can't, I c- Thit thit thit!" Oh, but he can, and he does. Rebecca is his first kill. She isn't his last.
VII.
Or… Chris hates Chet. He hates him with all his being. The hate and thirst fills him and he knows nothing except the blinding feeling of rage filling him. He leaves the house in a fury, and kills the first person that is unfortunate enough to cross his path. He drinks their blood until their skin is ashen and their body sucked dry.
When he comes back to himself, he is slightly horrified. His mouth is filled with the deliciously metallic tang of blood, and he has never felt so empty and so full before.
He wonders around for awhile, alone, killing when it is necessary. Eventually he will meet other vampires and he will travel with them. He can almost believe he is happy.
IIX.
It is well past midnight.
"Chris? Are you awake?" Her brutal tone makes sure he is.
"Yeth"
Silence.
Chris is gone come morning. His mother has taken care of everything.
(You can't save it now. Its mother will kill it. She'll just kill it.)
IX.
His family's heartbeats taunt him through the night until he cannot take it anymore. He enters his brother's room first. Opening the door silently with a grace that is almost ethereal- it is inhuman. He does not stop until he is balanced above his brother's bed, his pulse reverberating in his ears. He does not even pause as he passes the mirror. He already knows he will see nothing of himself in its reflection.
When he is finished with Paul he pulls the covers back over his sprawled body in a parody of sleep. He is sedated, for now.
So he leaves, not bothering with his parents. He is not a cold-blooded killer just yet.
When his mother finds Paul the next morning she will immediately stop her mutterings of "Lazy", "Useless", and "Must I do everything?"
After she has gotten over her shock, she will mutter different things before she falls headfirst into her grief and the only sound she will be able to make is a soft sobbing sound.
"Loved him", "How could…?", and most of all, "It wasn't even human."
Yes, that is what she would say.
X.
The Thing with the One-Piece Hair is not destroyed after all. He cures Chris's Vampirism after hearing his story. It hurts and Chris will try to live an ordinary life again, though he will never fully succeed.
Little flashes of hunger will catch him by surprise, they are far enough in between so that they are always when he least expects them: When he accidentally cuts his hand in shop class and blood is dripping down his hand, he will barely be able to control the urge to lick it up. Or when a friend falls from the roof to the sidewalk and scraps his knee, the little beads of blood will call to him.
The knowledge of his mother's uncertainties will cause a rift between them even after he has been cured. Because the knowledge is still there in his mind; no matter how venomously she denies it now, she would have turned him in; because the truth is: the moment he stopped being human, he was also no longer her child. And he can never forgive her for this.
XI.
Chris remains in his room, though he does eventually find the strength to move from the floor to his bed. He takes his winter comforter from his closet and wraps it tightly around himself. The other vampires have heard by now and are tapping on his window. He shivers and knows it won't be long now until they are on him.
XII.
It is Paul who will discover him first. He will enter Chris's room without knocking like he always does. But it is the first time he will do so when Chris's hunger is at its worst and his reflection has fled from him.
He finds him, standing awkwardly in front of the mirror willing his fangs to disappear and his face to reappear. He will pale and stare, mouth agape, both unwilling to break the awful silence and to stay in the same room with this inhuman creature that was once someone he used to call family.
He will turn and flee the room, his ashen face and slack jaw the only warning his parents will need. They have noticed the signs that had thus far gone over Paul's head.
When Chris is led out with a dozen police escorts he tilts his head away from the camera hoping against hope that his friends, Jerk, Tom, Rebecca, won't recognize him even though they've bound to have heard by now.
He is lynched as the crowds shout and push against the barriers.
He has neither time nor mind to think of his family, or of anything before the pain that will have him for eternity engulfs him.
XIII.
No, is it Jerk and Tom who first discover his secret. Jerk, who has always been the mediator between Tom and Chris, has, of course, already gotten over the fight Chris and he had.
So, when Chris does not show up the next day for school, it is Jerk who drags Tom along to his house to make amends. Chris is the only one at home.
They have to find their own way in because Chris cannot bear to face them with a mouth full of fangs.
When they see him huddled on the floor in front of his dresser with his back to them they don't find it as suspicious as they should.
"Look Chris, I'm sorry about Rebecca, I didn't just ask her out because you liked her but don't you think-" Tom stops to glare at him. "Are you even listening to me?"
Chris almost laughs out loud when he thinks about how much those issues used to matter.
"Yeth, I'm lithtening to you." No, he will say "Pleath" When Chris turns around to meet their eyes, he is all too aware how shocking he must look. There is a mixture of saliva and blood running down his chin that he can not stop. His eyes must be half wild with suppressed laughter, fear, and hunger. His wrist is bloodied and his hair is un-brushed and probably sticking up at impossible directions.
"Jerk, pleath, you have to help me. Pleath"
Tom is out his door and down the hall before Jerk can even blink.
"Pleath"
Jerk opens his mouth to say something, but thinks better of it and can only shake his head as he back away. That is when Chris knows he has just lost any chance he ever had.
"Pleath, I am tho alone." He can't help repeating the same useless pleas he made to Chet. And like Chet, they will leave him. No, they will turn him in.
(This is mercy)
XIV.
No, that is not how it will happen. He will be far too gone to beg. He will launch himself at Tom, smearing his white shirt with blood in the process.
When he comes back to himself, he will hide their bodies near the abandoned church. Nobody will suspect him, or if they do they will never be able to pin him to it.
Chris will be there for Rebecca when the news of Tom reaches her. He will put his arm around her shaking shoulders and whisper meaningless comforts in her ear. After a month of waiting, they are a couple.
Chris will keep living with his family, going off every once in awhile to fill his need for blood. Life will almost be normal. That simple life he wants will always be just out of reach.
XV.
As Chris huddles in his room, wet from blood or rain, he isn't sure; he will imagine what is to become of him. Scenarios will shift through his mind, each only plausible for the mere seconds he has to imagine them; until small details expose them for what they are.
That the blood he sees across Tom's collar could never be so bright, or that he has Rebecca's smile all wrong; his mother's voice too soft.
So he will sit, and await the inevitable; and perhaps he will last past dawn, or perhaps he will not have to kill anyone. Perhaps, Chris realizes, is a very uncertain word.
(No, this is mercy)