A/n Sorry it took so long to get this up. I've been working on another chapter of love conquers all that I haven't posted yet, and I didn't know where this story, born of spite, frustration, and sarcasm was going. But my friend just gave me an idea, so here it goes. there is a Sailor Moon RPG, believe it or not. But I've never played it, so if you have don't expect Usagi Rumiko's version to agree with the real thing I don't know if it sends out author alerts for replacing a chapter with new content. How do you feel about me posting incomplete chapters? tell me in your reviews. Is it better to have something, or should I hang on to a chapter and not post till it's done?
9/01/04 Still not done, but added over half a page so read the new stuff.
9/29/04 and 28 days later... I'm Done! this chapter is finished!
Oh yeah glossary.
RPG role playing game
RP-er role player
D&D Dungeons and Dragons( popular rpg)
When I woke up, A black cat was standing on my chest with a so-called laptop Persocom straddled over its back.
"Hi hi. I'm Chibiko. Usagi-jo's laptop. Wake up sleepy head, the rp'ers are coming over tonight!"
"Rp-ers? Like D&D?" I asked.
"No, silly! The Sailor Moon RPG! You're gonna be Tuxedo Kamen! " Suddenly the persocom's eyes glowed red, and her high squeaky voice lowered a couple octaves. "RESISTANCE IS FUTILE! YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED." Her eyes shifted back to their normal light purple. "Sorry, my last owner was obsessed with dubbed episodes of Star Trek. I have occasional flashbacks. " Her voice was its normal squeaky pitch. I noticed there was a weird patch of exposed wiring on her temple, and another on her tiny wrist. "Fortunately, Usagi-jo still has her Tuxedo Kamen costume that she used to force her older brother into before he went off to college. You look like you're about the same size."
"Do I have to?"
"Yup yup yup. Persocoms have to obey their owners, and the orders relayed from the owner by other Persocoms, since we can't lie, it's fool proof!"
"What? But what if you don't want to do something?"
"Why would you not want to? All Persocoms want to make their owners happy! YOU WILL BE JOINED WITH THE COLLECTUM!" (Another freaky eyes and voice moment). "Wow, two flashbacks in one day? You really bring out the best in people, huh?" Chibiko added in her normal voice. "Here, Usagi says you have to let me dress you. And don't hurt me. Stand up, then don't move. "
I did so, and smiled with satisfaction as the cat and Persocom went flying. And you know what the damn cat did? It dug its claws in my shirt, leaving long rips as the cheap material gave under it's considerable weight. "Hey, I liked that shirt! I protested. It was my "Sailor scouts, revolt! " shirt that has all the other scouts ganging up on Sailor Moon. I hate them all, but Sailor Moon is the worst.
Chibiko came running in dragging the Tuxedo Kamen costume behind her. I hadn't even realized she was gone. I tried to run the other direction, but I couldn't move. Apparently Chibiko was right, I couldn't disobey. I watched with growing horror and humiliation as she striped me down to my underwear and put on the costume of the loathsome rose throwing warrior, being able to move only as specifically allowed by Chibiko. Finally the outfit was complete.
"Okay, now you can move, but no removing, hiding, or destroying your costume or anyone else's, and no hurting anyone or anything, and no doing anything that could possibly embarrass Usagi-jo in front of her guests. Oh yeah, I won't order you not to, but it's not a good idea to steal Ryo-oh-ke's carrots. And no leaving the apartment!" She scurried away, then came right back. "Oh yeah, I forgot to give you the RPG rules!" She pulled the cable out of her ear and approached me menacingly.
"No! I don't want any sailor moon information! I know too much as it is!" but she cornered me, and started the upload. I screamed. "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"
About the same time as she finished the upload, the doorbell rang, or rather played the Japanese theme song for Sailor Moon. "Moonlight Desetsu" something in the knowledge Chibiko had forced into me identified it as. A girl pranced into the apartment wearing a close approximation of Sailor Moon's outfit but with a pink skirt and collar and pale blue bows. Her medium brown hair was styled like Sailor Moon's hair also, but with dodongos shaped like hearts. In one hand she carried a pad of paper and a binder, and in the other she carried a sword that seemed to be made of a giant carrot, but on closer inspection proved to be orange plastic.
"Usagi-chan!" she screeched, hugging Usagi, who was dressed up in full Sailor Moon regalia (a/n Anime, early S series, when she gets the heart-shaped compact, if you must know).
"Hi, hi. This is Hanajima Usagi, Hana-chan, this is my new Persocom, Ashe." Usagi answered.
"Aw, he's so cute!" Hana-chan replied, walking over and glomping me, totally ignoring the fact that I was attempting to curl up into a ball. "Ryo-oh-ke, I'll give you a carrot if you take our picture!" She yelled Into the hall. A weird looking Persocom pranced in.
"Carrot?" it asked, tilting its head. She obligingly took the photo. 'Her' hair was dark brown, and she wore a red leather dress similar to one of dark Chi's from Chobits. Her ears were the strangest part, though. They were like Ryo-oh-ke's from Tenchi. Chibiko appeared from somewhere and handed her the desired veggie. She chewed on it happily, crunching loudly.
Soon three other girls arrived, dressed as Mars, Mercury, and Venus. "Ashe, these are Oshito Sera, Yamaguchi Momo, and Akira Ichigo. Girls, meet my new Persocom Ashe, and tonight's Tuxedo Kamen-sama!" Usagi said happily.
"Carrot?" asked Ryo-oh-ke hopefully, chewing on the end of Hana-chan's sword.
"Sorry, plastic." Hana-chan replied. "Where do we start? New campaign, or do we continue last week's?"
I got bored of this extremely quickly, and tried to access my web comics. To my surprise, it worked. I could see whatever was on the screen projected over the physical world. When I ran out of web comics I started reading fanfics, careful to avoid the three big terms (a/n for him, Yaoi, Slash, shonen ai), and romance stuff altogether, mostly. When my character was needed in the game, I just did whatever they told me to do and then went back to reading, But then Sera, who was serving as dungeon master, became complacent, and asked me an open ended question instead of just telling me to do something.
"Tuxedo Kamen, you have just found out that the girl known as Usagi has in her possession the Silver Imperium Crystal. You believe you need this crystal to find your Princess. What do you do?"
"I decide there is only one acceptable course of action. I get some explosives and blow her up, knowing the Crystal would not be harmed." I answered
"Roll for Damage, Usagi, Ashe." Sera commanded.
We rolled the dice.
"What?! That's not fair! I'm down to one hit point!" Usagi yelled. She pulled out a moon scepter. Where she was hiding it, I don't know, and don't particularly want to find out. My new Sailor Moon information database informed me that it didn't match her costume, being Usagi's weapon in the latter part of SuperS. It looked like a sword with wings on the hilt and no point. Usagi did a complex series of motions I paid no attention to, until she started yelling.
"MOOON...GOURGOUSS.... MEDITATION!" then she poked me with it. Apparently something she did had activated a tazer in the thing, because I twitched around from electrical shock, then lost consciousness. My last coherent thought was, "funny, being shocked as a Persocom feels the same as being shocked as a human, except it seems to hurt more...."
09/29/04 A/N Yeah! I finished chapter 3! Sorry it took so long! Um, no it wasn't where you're probably thinking... The moon scepter was hidden in her hair, hanging from a hook on the jewel thing. There's probably something hanging from the other dodongo also, I wonder what? R&R! email me if you already reviewed this chapter and tell me what you think of the ending.