A Bunny In Glass Slippers
By Sailor Fantasy
Heart Schism
Disclaimer: Why do we rub it in?
AN: Long time, no see. Yeah, this story is being updated, Christmas gift and yadda yadda yadda. Review, please. And another part of Meowth Sex Scandal lies at the end of this, and also, my group "YaoiBishes" is up and running, so please join if you are dedicated reader if you want bits, clips, and news on updates, or if you are just a dedicated anime otaku. Yeah, anime. Yum. (PS. Don't let the name fool you…its not all yaoi! Just thought the name was cute ((grins)))
Dedications: Angel-Goddess deserves a shoutout, and this is a gift to her as well as Sailor Ronin Usa-chan. If it weren't for those two, I probably would be doing this at all. Well, maybe for a different fic, at least. Also, this is a Christmas present for all, so…
Merry X-Mas, loves! sincerely, Sailor Fantasy and Leirbag no baka.
Warnings: Language…(not the f-word, no worries ((grins)) And I think that's it.
Quote: To save time, let's just agree that I know everything.
Review!!! Review!!! Review!!! Review!!! Review!!! Review!!! Review!!! Review!!!
Prince Kudou Yohji, bishounen, party lover, ladies' man, a hunk of strawberry tightly wrapped in vanilla and chocolate topped off with whip cream and a cherry to boot... was bored.
Sprawled across his throne chair, almost catlike, he sighed before taking a swig of red wine and lifting a cigarette to his mouth to take a light puff on it. Yes, the great Prince Yohji was weakest at this point, not being able to do anything but wait on his throne for Crawford to arrive again with his prize. With a slight smile at the thought, he took another puff at his cigarette.
Perhaps it was better off that he had sent Crawford off to retrieve his 'servant'... It was better than having the man push a stick up his ass all day and ordering him to do his required princely duties. This was more like a day off than anything.
Ever since they were younger, it had been like that. His parents had introduced him to their son, the Kudou Yohji, at the age of 5. The boy had been 11, and properly trained. The boy was to be Yohji's adviser for the rest of his life, as all princes were given some sort of companion to get advice from. Yohji's ancestors were told that those of Crawford blood were proudly the best, and each of the Kudou men had been paired off with a Crawford since then. Yohji, at the time, hadn't thought the idea was bad...
Until Crawford opened his big fat yap.
----Flashback----
Five Year Old Prince Kudou Yohji... bishounen, kawaii, a morsel of chocolate laced loosely with vanilla on top of a banana split... was bored.
Cutely sprawled across his big boy throne chair, he sighed before taking a swig of grape juice and lifting some pixie stix to his lips to puff in the sweet, sweet sugar. His parents had told him that he would be gaining a new friend today, one that he would have to respect and listen to. A boy that would make him a great king one day... or something like that. He wasn't really listening. He was more into his new detective kit he had gotten from his uncle.
So, here he was, just sitting bored, nothing to do, ready to cause some mischief when the door is slammed open and his mother enters the room with his father and a slightly tall boy—just a little taller than Yohji himself. And Yohji was a pretty tall and lanky kid for his age. The boy had glasses, and orderly hair. He wore a suit. Yohji was slightly reminded of James Bond...not that James Bond existed in this time, of course, but Yohji wasn't about to compare him to the great Sherlock Holmes. He would end up hating himself.
"Yohji, darling," his mother had cooed, taking the other boy by the hand and taking him to Yohji's big boy chair. The boy didn't look shy, or even awed. He just looked... serious. Yohji almost said something about it, but held back on his tongue. He promised his mother that he would be nice to this boy that was to be his advisor. He wouldn't say anything. "This is Brad. He will be your advisor. He will show you how to develop into a true king... like your father." Her eyes gleamed with love at the thought. "I'm going to leave you two alone now... have fun and get to know each other!" Then, taking her husband by the arm, she bustled right out... taking her husband out for the ride.
Now that Yohji was left alone with the boy, he didn't know what to do but stare. The other boy just stared right back, undaunted.
"Hi, I'm Prince Yohji!" he greeted finally, extracting his hand out for a healthy shake.
The boy didn't so much glance at the hand. "Your shoes are untied."
It was from then on, that Yohji realized this was the man that would make his life a rotting hell.
-----End Flashback-----
Thinking back to his parents, he wondered how their vacation was going in France. He almost felt bad for his old man… almost. Grinning, he could picture it now… his bubbly mother dragging the humble king all over great Paris… nearly falling off the Eiffel Tower…
"Your majesty!"
Yohji slightly straightened, but then went right back to his slackened stature as soon as he saw who it was, bowing before him like some pink flamingo.
"Yes, Hirofumi?"
"The cavalry has arrived, your highness," the sneaky, beady eyed man announced, raising his head a bit to set his eyes on the pure golden ball on the throne chair below Prince Yohji's elbow. "Along with your new conquest, my liege."
"Very well," Yohji brushed off with a wave of his hand. "Crawford knows what to do with her. Dismissed."
Hirofumi bowed, deeply. "Of course, your majesty."
As the greasy haired man scurried out of the throne room, Yohji couldn't help but feel a bit of disgust grow inside of him. It was men like Hirofumi, Yohji decided, that so many soldiers died for. It was men like Hirofumi---and his brother, Masafumi, for those matters---who began wars but were too cowardly to fight in them.
Sighing, then stretching, Yohji stood up from his throne and treaded down the small set of steps leisurely without anymore thoughts of Hirofumi and his snarky family. After all, it wouldn't do to welcome his newest conquest in a bad mood.
With a grin, Yohji jauntily called out to his nearest servant---who happened to be right around the corner---to bring his 'best wine' to his room before exiting the throne room.
"Marriage, fellow gentlemen, is a bitch."
The redheaded guard rolled his eyes as his obviously drunk companion slurped another gulp of the brownish liquid. "Gettin' married wasn' even my idea. It was hers. And I didn't like it, but I wanted some that eve, ya' kno' wha' I'm sayin'?" The wink and the nudge the-halfway-amused half-way-agitated guard received were almost enough to push the other man off his balance. "But ah well." The drunken man sighed and stumbled over to the jail cell door, giving the prisoners within a critical eye of disapproval. "Who're you lookin' at, blondie?"
Quatre looked down quickly, his slightly bruised face blushing a faint pink. Beside him, Trowa and Ken looked sullenly at the door leading out of the jail chambers. On his right, Omi shifted slightly, eyelids twitching in his sleep.
"Hmm… they're almos' perrtty 'nough to be girls, right? Eh, ah… wha's your name again, red?"
The redheaded guard frowned, and pulled his hat more so over his eyes. "Edmund," was the flat response. "Montgomery Edwards of PB and J Sandwich the 3rd," said he, with a slight accent.
"Oh." The drunken guard scrunched his nose. "Coulda' sworn ya' said your name was…" Shaking his head, he turned his head back to the prisoners, grinning. " 'nyway, both these blonde boys're cutesy 'nough to be girls, and if it weren't fo' me wife and us bein' guards, I'd go afta' them meself."
The other guard grinned back. "Well, it is just us two…"
The drunk perked up. "Ya' aren' sayin' I could…"
"Well, I sure as hell wouldn't mind as long as you did it someplace else without getting caught." The redhead jabbed a thumb in Omi's general direction. "If I were you, I'd get sleeping beauty first. By the time you're done he'd still be confused and distorted. Less hassle, ya know?"
"Yea'…"
Quatre, who by now was so alarmed that he was considerably pale, began shaking vigorously at Omi, who, in result, only swatted at him back deep in sleep. At this point, Quatre grew panicky as he sought hard not to be noticed by the other guards. 'Damn it, wake up!'
Why was this happening? Why? He wished he could go home… he wished he had Usagi, who would give him a hopeful smile and tell him everything will be okay, and so that he could feel better in comforting her in return. He wished he was out of this be-damned jail cell, what with all its bugs and disgusting smells, and whatnot, and be back in the room he shared with Usagi again, attempting to wake her up in the morning until Luna pounced from the window to give her own version of a wake up call. He wished, he wished…
'Wishes among fishes, wishes among fishes, my friend. There are as many fishes as there are wishes, and wishes as there are fishes, and so the wishes are among fishes. I wouldn't bother.'
Before Quatre could register what went through his mind in that ten second phrase, the jail lock clicked and began to open.
Quatre scrambled backwards, dragging the still sleeping Omi with him. 'Oh…shit…'
The moment the guard stepped in, however, there was chaos. Trowa, had, unseen, snuck next to the barred door, and right as the drunk man had entered, kicked the man's shin so hard there was a crack and a loud scream. There, to silence the scream, was Ken's fist, who punched the man into the barred gate, instantly knocking him out. Omi, who had been sleeping, woke up abruptly in deep shallow breaths and a sweat. In all of this action, Quatre nearly forgot about the other guard.
Almost.
Quatre's hairs stood up as deep chuckles echoed inside the dark jail cell, and it was all he could do from shuddering with fear. He felt Omi tense beside him, and with more bravery than he felt, stood up. Trowa was already out of the jail cell, but for some reason, was pausing at that one spot, as if in thought.
'But why?' thought Quatre, placing an index finger to his lower lip and standing straight like a statue. 'Why would he stand there in thought wasting time? That's weird. Trowa wouldn't do that, right? No, he wouldn't do that. Not when Usagi's dignity is on the line. And poor Usagi! I wonder who she likes more, me or Trowa. Or perhaps she likes Duo? I hope not. I…hey, how did I know his name? I don't recall. Funny, I hope she doesn't like that redheaded foreign guy---'
A stinging slap brought Quatre back into reality.
"Quatre!" Omi cried out, slapping the other blonde boy once more. "Snap out of it! He's using Tele-tele-teleki-?—tele---"
"Telepathy?" the redheaded assisted, grinning.
"He's playing with your mind! He's using telepathy, Quatre!" He raised his hand to slap the slightly confused and dazed Quatre once more, but was stopped when a hand grabbed his wrist.
"That's enough," said Trowa, not looking as disgruntled but disgruntled none the less. "He's got the picture, and I think that guy is one of the people responsible for kidnapping Usagi-san, so I suggest we follow him because he just ran off and is steadily getting away." The evidence, of course, being the constant tap-tap-tap of boots down the eerily quiet dungeons leading out of the confinement chambers. "And," pointing to the bewildered Ken, "I also advise you to explain to your partner what he's gone through." Then, without further ado, stepped away from Omi and walked swiftly through the barred doors, intending to find the redhead who had strangely set them free.
The three left there, slightly bewildered, set out to follow Trowa's example.
Well, that was the intended plan until several guards were blown into the wall.
Usagi had heard the warning bells in her head before she had even reached the door to the master bedroom---Prince Kudou's bedroom.
Crawford-san had long since abandoned her to the many female—busty, female—servants who, for two hours and a half, dressed and painted her to make her up to par so that Prince Kudou could be 'satisfied to the fullest extent'. With this said, they stuffed numerous amount of tissue into her bra, painted her face ("Delicately," one had reprimanded a younger servant. "We do not wish to make her into a jester."), and slipped her into one of the gaudiest maid dresses Usagi had ever seen. Actually, it was even gaudier than most of the things Ririna-sama would wear when Prince Hiiro came to visit.
From what Usagi had gathered while standing there, being sized up and pulled this way and that, she was advised only to smile and think of England (what or wherever that was) while Prince Yohji "have his way with you her" (whatever that meant).
Usagi didn't like this turn of events at all. Hell, she didn't even know or understood what was going on! She just wanted to know what was going on…she just wanted to be with her friends. Maybe it had something to do with that whoring thing Ririna-sama had mentioned?
"Usagi, no?"
Usagi jumped out of her skin and back in. An arm slid around her shoulder as her shocked form was slightly dragged towards the door that was now mysteriously open. The man chortled lightly in a musical, drawling voice as he left her standing there, just a couple of feet inside the elegant and glamorous room as he went to sit on a very cushioned lounge chair.
"No need to be so jumpy," the as equally elegant man drawled from his chair as he crossed his legs and entwined his fingers in his blondish bangs, which gave Usagi a great view into his jade eyes. "I don't bite… unless, of course, you want me to." He winked. Usagi wanted to scream and faint, but couldn't find the energy to do so. He leaned forward, folding his hands into his lap, an amused glint in his eyes as he observed her nervous form from top to bottom. Looking a bit as if he was expecting something of her. "Ah…Usagi-san, do you know why you are here?"
Usagi shook her head as the rest of her body shook like a leaf. Her eyes widened a little wider as he began to openly gape. Then burst out into a laughing fit.
"What?" he laughed, tears streaming down his cheeks in mirth. "They…they never told you? They didn't tell you?"
Usagi didn't know why he was laughing, but knew she didn't like him laughing at her. "No! How am I supposed to know if no one tells me?"
The man that was obviously Prince Kudou Yohji continued to laugh. Usagi blushed a beet red. "It's not funny!"
Prince Kudou Yohji gave a final hoot before wiping the last tears from his eyes. "Ah…I haven't had a good laugh like that in years, Usagi. Not ever since Brad tripped over the carpet. You should feel proud, Usagi." And then he sat back, thoroughly amused and content.
Usagi felt embarrassment and anger bloom even more in her bosom and stomped. "Well I don't! Can you please just tell me what's going on and what am I doing here and why I am in this stupid dress?"
Prince Kudou's eyes glinted. "Why don't I show you what's going on?"
"…" Usagi blushed, not knowing what to say to that. If she said no, she wouldn't be a good servant (or a servant at all; in fact, she'd be quite prone to a beating) yet if she answered yes…
"Ah, virgin, no?" Prince Yohji leaned back, looking at her with a new contemplative eye.
"Virgin?" Usagi squeaked, blushing some more. "I, uh, well, that is…" If she could remember what Ririna said… what was it Ririna-sama had said?
Oh, yeah. "A Virgin is one who does not partake in any games of the bed." That's what she had said, Usagi remembered.
"Nope! I'm no virgin!" Usagi stated, quite proudly. After all, those pillow fights with Trowa and Quatre always came up with her on top!
Prince Yohji blinked, once, twice, before reaching to his right, "…I need a drink. You do too, apparently. On or off the rocks?"
"Rocks? Ewl. That's like the time Quatre put some rocks in the kool aid because he heard Relena-sama mention it and---"
"Ice, babe," Prince Yohji interrupted, slightly irritable. "Do you want ice or not?"
"Ah…ice?"
"Good." Putting only a very few in her glass, he poured the expensive wine into the glass and chose to drink his own straight up. Not his most expensive wine, but expensive enough for royalty, of course Before lifting his own drink to his lips, he reached out and gave the other drink in his hand. "Toast?"
"Toast? I am hungry," Usagi admitted, looking down at the drink suspiciously. "What is this stuff?"
With each comment, Usagi never seemed to cease to amuse Prince Yohji. "Wine, you've never had any?"
"Not really. Only grape juice, with some plum juice in it." 'Thanks to Trowa, of course.'
Prince Yohji made a mental note to give all his servants a bottle of wine for the up and coming New Year. "Ah, then to your first taste of wine, hmm?"
Not knowing what to say to that, Usagi could only say "Okay, sure."
Clinking their glasses together, they both took a sip in harmony.
'Boy, this sure is sweet,' was Usagi's thought before she took the glass away from her lips.
And collapsed.
Brad Crawford was quickly losing his patience.
So many visions had exploded in his mind at one time… his head was killing him. On the ground, laid an almost boneless body; the man was already dead. Damn it. Crawford snarled and kicked at the man.
Beside him, Farfarello laughed.
"Beautiful," Farfarello chuckled, prodding the men at his feet with a knife. "Art work. True artwork."
"Shut up, Farfarello," Brad scowled, stepping over another body. "The prince is in danger; we must save him and capture the villains of this idiotic travesty."
Farfarello hummed, and followed behind Crawford by the heels. Left, right, left corner, right corner, right corner…. Slam.
He bumped into Crawford's shoulder at his abrupt stop.
"Ah, so we meet again, Crawfish." Nasal, that could describe the voice. Farfarello looked over Crawford's shoulder in interest.
"If it isn't the ringleader of the foolish bandit crew," sneered Brad, taking out his nearest weapon---his sword. "It will bring me great pleasure to kill you and get your bounty."
"And it will give me great pleasure to kick your ass!" grinned Schuldich, also taking out his sword. "En guard!"
"Olay!"
And there commenced the swordfight of the century, with Farfarello in the front seat.
"You're highness?"
Damn it!
Duo dragged up the blonde girl in his arms before the door burst open and a red haired man entered, quite frantically. He cursed as the amethyst sought his, and, without even a moment of hesitance, glared with a burning loyalty and anger beyond Duo's nightmares. The man withdrew his sword and charged.
Usually not the cowardly type but considering the 'victim' in his arms, he held her up in a way to ward off the crimson man….Until, at least, he found a way out that wouldn't cause any bodily harm to himself or the girl.
'Cuz' we got to look good, then act bad, for the ladies,' Schuldich had said.
"Let her go!" The man had stopped, true to Duo's plan, but was a bit too close for comfort with his sword. "What have you done to the prince and his guest?!"
Guest? Duo looked down at the girl in his arms, nearly blushing at the sight of her small but still there bosom. "Ah…"
Ran was red with rage. "HENTAI!"
Duo gulped and began backing away; he was quite sure the redheaded man was going to chop off not only his braid, as Nagi threatened to do so often, but his whole head. Ready to call for back up, he was shocked when Schuldich called for him first.
'Retreat, now.'
Out loud, mistakenly, Duo answered "But Schuldich…"
'Now! Nagi's warped from exhaust, and I'm bleeding. Drop her, and retreat, now!'
Duo twitched in apprehension, and before the redhead could even blink, dropped the blonde to the carpeted floor and rushed out to the balcony. The man followed of course, but could not when Duo jumped off the ledge and into the moat below.
From beneath the water, Duo grinned. No one ever caught grand master thief Shinigami!
'But you usually get your catch, chibi no baka.'
Duo broke the surface breathing hard. 'Well, I could've if you hadn't told me to retreat!'
'With that girl's weight? Ha, you would've been lucky if you made it to the balcony door.'
Duo thought about that, then 'Shut up. What happened, Schuldich?'
'Everything happened. It will be explained later. Now, come help me carry Nagi by the bridge.'
Ran sighed in relief as he realized that both the prince and his guest were breathing regularly. Apparently, they were just asleep.
Hopefully, they were just sleeping. Hopefully they weren't in that deep sleep his own sister was cursed to…he looked down at the blonde haired girl sadly. Hopefully no one would have to go through what he had…
"Fujimiya!" the bark came from the door, and Ran quickly made way for Crawford. "What's happened here?"
"Seems like poisoning, sir." Ran eyed the bleeding around the man's neck area. "Sir…"
"Shut up, Fujimiya. Now isn't the time." And for the first time Ran had ever seen the man (and he had seen him many times), there was a tiny glimmer of worry on the man's features as he checked the pulse of his prince and grimaced at his growing fever. Feeling the girl's cheeks, he got the same reaction.
It was possible they were both going to die, if this poison was that serious. Brad glared menacingly at the balcony, as if it were the source of his problems. 'Damn them…'
"Get the doctors, Fujimiya. Tell them Prince Yohji's been poisoned and is feeling feverish and paling." And, as an after thought, "And so is his guest."
Ready to point out his superior's own wounds, Ran started "But sir…"
"Shut up Ran. Get the damn doctors." And that was when Ran saw the first true break in character of the man.
And Ran shut up. Because it was a moment of truth.
Crimeny, my fingers hurt. I hope you're all happy. (glares at all the readers) Bah humbug, and Merry Christmas. Now give me an early Christmas gift,… reviews, reviews, reviews!
Ah, and no chapter of ABIGS would be complete without…
The Meowth Sex Scandal, Pt. 4
Usagi glanced and blushed prettily as Ryuichi Sakuma looked at her and waved again with his little Kumagarou with the brightest smile she had ever seen. Usagi nearly squealed. He was just too cute!
But, apparently, this wasn't the time and place to sit and flirt around with j-pop rock idols.
"TSUKINO! SAKUMA! YOU HAVE A CASE TO WIN!" yelled Rei, from the jury bench, ready to knock out the moon princess. "STOP FLIRTING WITH HIM, USAGI!"
"Oh shut up, Rei! You're just upset because you went out with old man Mamoru for no reason! I actually had an excuse, pyro!"
"Odango atama!"
"Crow!"
"W—" Rei sat down quickly as a bullet whisked by her, shutting her mouth as quickly as possible. Next to her, Ami took another shot of whiskey to calm hr frayed nerves.
"Thank you, Hiiro," moaned Haruka, rubbing her temples. Hiiro merely nodded as he began to glare yet again at the witness on the stand.
"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help me God?"
The witness nodded. "Pika!"
Usagi approached the witness stand with a more than doubtful look on her face.
"Uh…hi?"
"Pi!" chirped Pikachu.
Usagi coughed into her hand, blushing. "Oksy… where do I begin…? Oh yeah! Do you think my client, Meowth of Team Rocket, is capable of rape?"
At the sound of "Pi!" and vigorous nod, Usgai pounced on it.
"What the hell do you know, you stupid little stuffed animal!"
"Pi!" Pointing to the window, Pikachu let out another resounding "Pi!". Usagi looked, and then sweatdropped.
"Ah… I'm sure there is an explanation for my client attempting to escape out the window, your honor."
"Get down Meowth!" cried Haruka, banging her broken mallet everywhere. Then realizing it was broken. "Damn it!"
"You'll never take me alive, coppers!" grinned Meowth, sticking his tongue out at Gatoman, who sneered. "See ya around, sweet cheeks!"
And with that, he jumped off the ledge, and into a Team Rocket Balloon. The whole court room sweatdropped as the team cried out "And we're blasting off for the twenty billionth time because we do so in every episode no matter wwwhhhhaaaatttt!"
And that was it. Usagi sweatdropped. "So, um, I still get paid, right?"
The End? Or maybe not?
(If you guys want more, just review or something. Yeah, review.)