Bishounen Todd and The Sparkle Paralysis Ray

A/N sorry it took so long to get around to working on this, FFX-2 is evil. So is school. Nuf said.

12-19-04A/N domo arigato to my wonderful readers who haven't killed me yet, I've got good news and bad news. Good news for all of you clamoring for longer chapters, you're about to get one. Bad news is there's going to be a lot of explanation etc, involved, well at least as much as I ever give you, but I'll try my best to keep it amusing, and I've got 2 weeks no school, yay!

When I opened my eyes I found myself staring into a pair of huge purple eyes. Not a Persocom at least. I sneezed. A strand of long lavender hair was tickling my nose.

"Um, are you okay? I'm Yurashima Todahashi, I'm a friend of Usagi's older brother."

Well, that proved I was still in the Anime world. Damn. Judging by the sea of pinkness I was laying in, I was still in Usagi's apartment, even. Which brought to mind another question.

"I'm Ashe. Why are you here, Todihesh- aw forget it, I'll just call you Todd, aren't you afraid they're going to dress you up in some weird costume? Can you get me out of here?" Suddenly a horrible thought struck me. "Please tell me you're not gay."

"I'm straight, and I don't do Persocoms anyway. As far as how I dare come in here, well, let's just say I'm good at stopping girls in their tracks, okay? Um, why do you want to get out of here? Scratch that. I understand completely, your outfit speaks for itself. How can you want to get out of here? Aren't Persocoms generally programmed to want to obey orders? As for getting you out of here, I don't know. You're one messed up Persocom, you know that?"

" I'm Going to eat your Soul. I'm not a Persocom! I'm a real boy! How do you deflect them? Please teach me! My sanity depends on you!" I pleaded. "I was just walking home from school and got struck with lightning, now I'm here! And I'm like this! I was human, I swear!"

"Those American programmers have a twisted sense of humor. Unfortunately, my technique isn't something I can teach you…" suddenly we heard the rattle of a key in the lock, and chattering voices outside. "But you're about to get a demonstration, anyway. They went to see the revival of Sailor Moon: the musical, but they're back." He got up from the kneeling position he'd been sitting in the whole time, and then, as the door opened, he Smiled. His eyes seemed to glow, and sparkles and sakura petals swirled around him. The gaggle of teenage girls, and even the Persocoms just stared, and I could swear I saw little hearts hovering in the air above their heads. Then they swooned into a heap.

"I call that the Sparkle Paralysis Ray. It is my gift, and my curse. Let me grab my glasses and then we'll get the Hell out of here." He grabbed a pair of glasses with lenses at least half an inch thick and a ponytail holder, and then climbed over the mountain of swooned females. I quickly scrambled after him into the hallway, and slammed the door shut. Well, I tried to. Somebody's leg was in the way. I gave up closing the door and raced down the hallway after Todd, who now looked totally different from before. He'd pulled his lavender hair back into a severe looking ponytail (well at least as severe a pony tail as his hair's wispy nature and unusual color would permit) and he was wearing the thick glasses I'd watched him pick up. We ran down five flights of stairs, out into the street, across the street, and down into a subway tunnel. I vaulted over the turnstile and yelled back to Todd, "Pay my fare for me, ok?" I ran and got on the first train I saw, and then as the doors were closing I saw a flash of lavender heading the wrong direction. Fortunately, he was close enough that I could grab him by the ponytail and drag him into the car with me. The doors didn't quite smash him, but they did send his glasses flying. Why did we have to get on a train whose last stop had been an all girls' high school?

Someone shrieked. "OOOH, catch the pretty purple-haired bishie boy! And the Persocom!" Instantly, we were mobbed by, well, there couldn't have been more than fifty, but it seemed like hundreds, of high school girls in sailor fukus. For a minute, all was pandemonium. Then Todd smiled and sparkled the lot of them into unconsciousness. Todd gave a small sigh of relief. The only people left awake in the train car were we, a guy Persocom that was trying to revive its owner, and a strangely western-looking girl with short tan hair and her nose in a book. I noticed it was an epic fantasy by Teresa Edgerton and then I noticed something else strange about the girl.

"She has cat ears, Todd." I said urgently, "Please tell me she actually has cat ears and I'm not hallucinating."

"She has cat ears. So? Haven't you ever seen a neko-girl before?" Todd replied.

"Only in -, ah, yes, that would explain it. I keep forgetting despite constant reminders, we aren't in Kansas anymore, Toto."

Suddenly the girl's head whipped up from the book. "Unfamiliarity with human-animal hybrids, quoting from the Wizard of Oz, and that all too familiar voice…. DAMNIT ASHE! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" with that, she launched herself at my throat, and I recognized her with a start.

"Sar-" I managed to get out before her hands around my neck blocked off what ever serves Persocoms as a windpipe. Then, she stopped. Apparently she'd noticed my new ears.

"What happened to you? You're a Persocom. What's with the tux? Who's the purple-haired kid,"

"It's not purple, it's lavender." Todd put in,

"And how in the three circles of Hell did he knock all the other girls out?" Sarah continued her relentless questioning. You remember Sarah, right? The girl I was walking home with? Well she stood before us, same as ever, but wearing a sailor fuku school uniform and sporting cat ears, tail, and three-inch-long claws.

I did my best to explain, with Todd butting in as needed. "Yeah, I appear to be a Persocom. I woke up in the middle of the road and I was like this. I got hauled home by a Sailor Moon fanatic who dressed me like this and attempted to force me to play LA Sailor Moon RPG with her and her friends, I rebelled, she tazered me with her moon scepter, I woke up with him staring at me."

"I'm Yurashima Todahashi, a friend of Usagi's older brother. I often had to defend him against her wrath, so when I heard Ashe's plight I was sympathetic, and helped him get away from the moonatics using the technique you just witnessed. I call it the Sparkle Paralysis Beam."

"In other words his smile is so damned Bishounen it causes girls to swoon. "

"Basically. We came to the train station, and I meant to take him back to my apartment to use as a base of our operations, but then he dragged me on to a train going the opposite direction, and the doors knocked my glasses off, which then forced me to cause the scene before us. By the way, how do you two know each other, and do you have any idea which train this is?'

"This is the non-stop express to Osaka." Sarah informed him.

"WHAT! That's going to use up my entire rail-pass! Shit." Todd exclaimed.

"Todd, this is Sarah,"

"Satchi Saraneikois the name I'm using in this place."

"The one person in this dimension that can confirm that I'm actually human!" I continued as though she hadn't interrupted me, "She's from my world, too! We were both human in our world, we were changed somehow when we came here." In my momentary enthusiasm –and to keep those damn claws away from my neck, I was dripping pseudo blood from ten holes already-I took her clawed hands in mine and realized they were covered in pale-blond fur. I filed that piece of info away in my mind and continued my speech. "Sarah! I'm sorry you got pulled into this, but I swear, none of it's my fault! Only by uniting forces can we ever hope to get back to our home world, and regain our humanity! Please, help me escape the cruel Usagi and search for a way home!"

For about a millisecond I thought I saw pity in her eyes. Then I knew better. Slitted pupils don't betray much emotion, but I knew Sarah well enough to recognize the disbelief and derision in that glare.

"Did I hear you right, Ashe? You want to go home? Ashe! We're in Japan! Japan for Chrissakes! Granted, it's not our world's Japan, but it's even better! This is the Japan that every American Otaku has envisioned at least once, even the ones who know better! Neko girls, Persocoms, Bishounen with hair every color of the rainbow! Spontaneous showers of sakura petals, youkai, sailor senshi! This is the Japan every anime otaku who makes the pilgrimage to their Mecca is disappointed at not finding! And you want to go home? What's there for you?"

"I'd be satisfied with just being human again." I replied. "A Persocom must obey any direct order from their owner, and my owner is a Sailor Moon fanatic! And even if I got rid of her, what's to keep my next owner from being worse? In this world Persocoms have no more rights then say, cars in our world! I want to be human again! And if that means going home then I'm happy to go home! What's with your outfit, any way? I never thought I'd see you in a dress, much less a sailor fuku."

"It's a long story, but we've got time, I guess." She sighed, and began.

A/n yay I found a stopping point! Whew. Not as long as I had feared. So what do ya think? Plez review!