I'm woken up by the phone ringing. I reach out my hand, fumbling around for my glasses. Finding them, I put them on and look at my clock. 7:07. Who on earth is calling me an hour before I have to wake up to go to church? Doesn't anyone know me? Sighing, I get up and pick up the phone. "Hello?" Wow, I sound tired.
"Lane?" I hear Rory say. Okay. Okay. As long as it's Rory. Now I feel bad.
"Hey Rory, do you need something?" I feel so bad about what's happened. Not that Luke wasn't a good friend to me, but I know that Rory's and Lorelai's lives are changed forever now.
"Have you seen my mom?" Lorelai? She's asking me where Lorelai is? This cannot be good.
"I haven't seen her Rory, what happened?"
"She – I – I don't know. The doctor gave her some more drugs last night, which got her to sleep. She was doing so well, Marty and I were finally able to get the kids home. I think they needed to spend the night in their own beds or at least in their own house. And I slept in her bed with her, but when I woke up, she was gone."
"Oh God, Rory."
"I don't – I didn't – I called Sookie and she suggested a few places but I don't really know where to look. I can't do this, Lane." Poor Rory. She sounds like she's going to break down momentarily.
"Did you try the diner?" I ask. I mean I don't know Lorelai as well as Rory, but I think that would be obvious choice.
"Oh, right, the diner," she responds. She's not even thinking right now. She's at home every day watching her mother in pain and she's dealing with the fact that she lost a man who was like a father to her. Rory's at home with those two little kids, who are now going to grow up without the father that loved them. And she's still Rory. She's still the person who thinks that she needs to take charge, she needs to be the adult in the situation. She needs to be in control. At least she thinks she does. What she really needs to do is take care of that baby she's carrying and deal with the fact that she lost someone close to her as well.
"Why don't you meet me in front of the diner," I suggest, thinking that she shouldn't be doing this alone.
"Okay," she agrees softly. Then she hangs up.
As I begin to get myself together and get ready for the day, I think about the current situation. I know that I'm supposed to meet my mom at the church in a little while and she's going to be angry that I can't make it, but I'm okay with that. All my life I've been doing everything, well mostly everything, to my mother's will (except for that one year with Zack). But Lorelai and Rory are my family too and I have to be there for them.
When I finally decided to get my life back in order after The Lost Year, or at least that's what I refer to it as, Lorelai was the first one to stand up for me. I tried to convince my mother that I didn't want to go back to who I was before TLY. I didn't want to go to the Seventh Day Adventist College, marry a Korean doctor, and listen to Korean church music. That's not me. But lying to my mom and hiding things from my mom isn't me either, despite the fact that I spent most of my life doing that.
I convinced my mom to sit down with Lorelai and me and listen to us. Lorelai explained that I wanted to get my life in order just she had after she left her parents with Rory. I wasn't in the same situation as Lorelai but I was still lost. I was 22 years old and I wasn't happy with my life. I wished I could be like Rory, successful, happy, with a boyfriend like Marty and a great relationship with her family. Lorelai had some way with words because my mom actually listened.
Mama let me move out of her house into my own apartment, even though I was not yet married. I promised to go to church with her every week in exchange for letting me attend UConn. I got my degree in Music Education and I currently work at the high school here in Stars Hallow. I think that deep down my mother respects what I have become because I explained to her my plans, I didn't hide anything. She's proud of me and I have Rory and Lorelai to thank for that. With out them, I don't think I would have been happy with my life. I would be the Korean woman my mother wanted me to be and that would not have made me happy. Rory showed me how to be successful and stood by me and Lorelai helped me get here today.
Well then I've got to. I pick up the phone and call my mom.
"Hello?" My mother, ever the voice of disappointment.
"Hi, Mama."
"Who is this?"
"Who? Mama, it's Lane. How many people call you Mama?"
"I never asked."
"Okay, forget it. I just wanted to call and tell you I won't be at church this morning. Rory's still trying to deal with Luke's death and Lorelai…"
"Okay," Mom says, cutting me off. Wow. I think deep down my mom feels for Lorelai as well. "Don't forget to call David," Mom says before she hangs up.
Ooops. I forgot Dave was joining us for church today. After finishing college and medical school in California, Dave started his residency at Yale. Thankfully, Dave and I picked up right where we left off, both knowing we wouldn't have broken up if we weren't so far away. So now he comes to church with us on Sundays when he's not supposed to work.
I grab my cell phone as I run out of the apartment, lock the door and down the stairs. On my run to Luke's Diner, I quickly call Dave. I know he hates when we don't see each other, but he knows some things take priority. After promising to call him when I get home, I arrive at the diner, completely out of breath. Rory shows up not more than a minute later with Sookie.
"Hey," Sookie says. Rory goes over and opens the door. Sookie gives me a look. Well, now I know I was right. Luke would never have left the door unlocked and Caeser wouldn't have either.
"Mom!" Rory calls. There's no sign of Lorelai in the diner. The place is clean and quiet. I've never seen it this way before and I used to work here and close the place. But I can still smell it, the faint smell of Luke, of mustiness and greasy food rolled together.
"She is here, right?" Sookie asks.
"Oh yeah," I answer. We follow Rory upstairs.
The upstairs apartment doesn't even look like it belongs in the same building as the diner. There are items strewn all about the room. A lamp looks broken and a mirror has been shattered. The place is a mess. I figure the mess must have been caused by the woman lying in the middle of the glass from the broken mirror.
"Mom!" Rory exclaims, running to Lorelai's side. Lorelai reaches a hand to her and that's when we see the blood. Both of her hands are cut up, probably from the glass, and bleeding.
"I'll call Dave," I announce. Taking my cell phone out of my back pocket, I go into the stairwell to call Dave. I shiver as I think about what I've just witnessed. I've broken down in front of her and Rory has, but I don't think I've ever seen Lorelai broken down. She's strong. I didn't even see her the night Luke broke up with her after her parent's vow renewal. Rory said she was pretty bad, but I don't think even Rory could have seen this coming.
I get ahold of Dave, and he promises that he's on his way. Taking a deep breath, I will myself the strength to walk back inside the room. I hesitate in the doorway before walking in. I'm afraid and I know it. I'm scared that this day might destroy my long held faith in the strength of Lorelai. I scared that if this can happen to someone as strong as her, how am I going to handle something that's not quite as bad? How will Rory? Or April? Or anyone?
Sookie is ripping sleeves off of an old shirt and wrapping the sleeves around Lorelai's hands. She asks Rory if there's a first aid kit around but Rory's not sure.
"Dave's on his way," I tell them. But what will he find when he gets here? How will we get Lorelai through this, and I say 'we' because there's no way Rory's doing this herself. There's no way.
Sookie has finished and is looking for a broom so that she can sweep up the pieces. Rory lays down on the floor facing her mom. Lorelai reaches out at brushes Rory's cheek. "It's okay, Sweets, you can cry too," she whispers. And with that approval, tears begin to run down Rory's cheeks. She takes Lorelai's hand in hers and kisses it.
I have to look away. A lump has formed in my throat but I can't swallow it and I can't get the tears out. I'm sad. I know I miss Luke, but that's not it. I'm sad because they're sad. Because the family I always wanted to be a part of is lying, broken to pieces, on the floor. All they can do to hold it together is to hold on to each other.
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A/N: And again, keep the reviews coming. I really love them! And I promise that I will bring Luke back happy and healthy in another story.
