A/N/Disclaimer: The song used in this chapter is "New Years Project" by Further Seems Forever. I find the gloominess of it really sets the mood toward the end. If you can, I suggest downloading it and playing it in the background because I'm a depressing freak like that.

My heart began to beat at the speed of light as Lizzie came at me again, this time making herself more clear. She wanted me and she let me know this when she kissed me again with much more intensity than the first time. I tried to back away from the girl, but she only moved with me, making every step I took away from her fruitless.

With all my muscle, I pushed her off of me, causing her to trip backwards over her own feet and land on my bed.

"Lizzie, no," I said firmly. I didn't mean for it to sound as if I were trying to control a pet.

Moist-eyed and red-faced, she brought her head up from the pile of rejected clothes that had been lying on my bed to look at me. "I...I bet you like it when she kisses you. When she…" Lizzie said, her voice slowly breaking down into nothing.

"That's totally different, Lizzie. I actually like Jessica!" Oh, damn, I thought as I realized how rude that came out. I covered my mouth. I wanted to take it back. It was true, in a sense, but I knew that she was going to take it the wrong way.

Lizzie buried her head back into my clothes pile.

"I didn't mean it like that," I said as I walked over to my bed to try and comfort her. I tried to get her to sit up. I wanted to hug her, but she wouldn't budge. She just lied there, limp. I quickly scooted as close to her as possible and tilted my body to lean against hers. It was the only position I could think of that would allow me to embrace her. "Lizzie, you know I didn't mean it like that. Of course, I like you. I love you…as a friend. You're my best friend." I assured her.

Lizzie changed her position so that she on her back. I was quick to get up, afraid that being so close to her face would make her kiss me again.

"No I'm not," Lizzie said, to my surprise. She sat up. "How dare you even say that I'm your best friend when it's all too clear that Jessica as replaced me? How can you say that you love me, even if it's only as a friend, but continue to hurt me like this?" Lizzie yelled.

It was only when I felt something like warm rain fall onto my chest that I realized I was crying. I looked down to see a few black streaks making their way down to my tank top and wiped them away before tending to my eyes.

"Miranda, Your friend is here," My mother called up to me.

Jessica. I assumed that's who she meant.

I looked at my mascara-stained hands and went to my mirror.

"Better clean yourself up," Lizzie said, with fake concern. "You don't want to look bad for your friend." And then she was gone. She made sure to slam the door on her way out.

I took a deep breath in and out. "Breathe, Miranda. Breathe. Don't let her bother you," I told myself. I didn't want to be miserable on my date. This was my night. It was mine and no one had the right to take it away from me. I quickly reapplied my make up and went downstairs.

Jessica stood there at my door, looking as gorgeous as ever. The back of her hair was left down, while the front was tied back with the exception of two locks that poured down just past her shoulders. She wore a loose-fitting pair of black pants, a long-sleeved white shirt with a navy blue t-shirt over it and a black sweater lazily thrown on above. She was so hot, even when it looked like she couldn't have cared less.

"We're going out. I'll be home later. Don't call. Bye, Mom," I said as fast as I could so that I could leave the house with no questions asked.

Jessica speedily backed out of the driveway, understanding that I wanted to leave as soon as possible.

"Thanks," I said.

She smiled, keeping her eyes on the road. "No problem."

I rested my head up against the window. No one had said anything in a few minutes. I watched as cars quickly went by. We were on the highway now. I wondered where, exactly, Jessica was going to take me.

"So," she began, "what did Lizzie want? I mean, what was up with her? She ran down the stairs and just blew right past me in tears."

"I don't know," I lied. "That girl has been acting weird all summer. It could be anything." I spoke without even looking away from the window. I knew that I could never lie to Jessica to her face. That beautiful, perfect face…

The car got off of the highway and traveled straight down an empty road. After a few more minutes of driving, we stopped in a vacant field that looked like it was millions of miles away from the rest of the universe.

"You drove me all the way to an empty field, Jessica?" I asked in disbelief. It wasn't that I hated it. It just wasn't what I was expecting. Then again, I really wasn't sure what I was expecting.

"Well, I told you I was going to take you to a place where no one would find us, didn't I?" Jessica asked.

"I know," I said.

Jessica turned on the car's CD player and popped the drunk.

"Come on," she said, opening the door. She walked to the trunk of the car and pulled out a bag sodas and sandwiches. Jessica sat on the hood of the car with the food and motioned for me to come join her as soft music began to play

It was one of those nights where the moon was shining extra bright. I could see it flickering in her green eyes, and suddenly, I felt terrible all over again. With the food in between us, I gathered her into my arms, kissing her the way Lizzie had kissed me in my bedroom. Better, actually. I knew, somewhere inside of me, that what happened wasn't my fault. Still, I felt guilty. I felt as if I had cheated on her. I felt like it was written on my forehead, what had happened. Meeting Jessica was the best thing that ever happened to me. I knew that finding out about the kiss was exactly the kind of thing that could cause her to walk out.

She pulled away from me. "Whoa, easy there. You know, if we ever plan to kiss again, I'm going to need my lips on my face, right?" Jessica asked after my firm kiss.

"Sorry," I said, burring my face into my knees. You're such an idiot, I though to myself.

"Hey," Jessica said to me.

I lifted my head up and her lips immediately met mine. I loved the way she kissed me. It made me feel better, for a second. But then, the guilt came back. I remembered the way it felt when Lizzie kissed me and suddenly, I felt sick. I began to shiver. Jessica could feel my goose bumps underneath her hands.

"Are you cold?" she asked me.

I nodded, figuring it was the easiest possible answer.

Jessica took off her sweater and threw it over my shoulders. It smelled sweet, like she did. She was so good to me. I didn't deserve her anymore. She reached into the bag and pulled out a sandwich for me.

"Here, eat this," she said. "It's kind of a weird combination, but I like it."

I took a bite of the sandwich. Peanut butter, bananas and sugar. It had been my favorite since kindergarten. "Thank you," I said, half-forcing a smile. Just because I was miserable, didn't mean that I had to make Jessica feel bad too.

She handed me a can of soda and took one for herself, we both sat back on the car, eating as the music continued to blast out of the speakers.

So much to say
but nothing comes out right
both of us left without words
both of us lost in this world
it's softer than ever before

As the dreary song played, I looked over at Jessica who was loosing herself in the music after taking my hand into hers. This girl was more than I could ever ask for. I care for her so much and how do I show it? I cheat on her. Well, not really, but we're dating. When you date someone, you're not supposed to be in your room kissing their cousin. I might not have kissed back or enjoyed it in the least, but there was no denying that kissing took place and it wasn't with Jessica. I squeezed her hand a little bit.

And you were the outline
of everything you would become.
The keeper of these hands.
To hold you now

it is a far cry more than anything that I deserve

I could see it in my head, in that moment. The hurt look in her eyes as she found out what happened. The way she would cry. She would probably shake her head, not believing that I could do something like that to her.

How could I do this to her? How could Lizzie do this to me?

"What's going to happen now?" I whispered to myself. "How do I make this right?"

I'm waiting to give you whatever the world may bring
I'd give you my life
cause I don't own anything.

A/N: I hope you all liked the chapter 'cause you're not getting anymore! I joke. I joke. Seriously, though, review the hell out of this. I swear I'll update sooner. I'm jus a whore like that.