Karen: Well, that was fun. Let's go.
Sarah: Where do we go now?
Aaron: I don't know.
Rutker: We should be heading towards the Mine of Cathuriges now.
Karen: Not now. Let's go on a stealing spree. The caravans should be back now.
Depre: Ok. Let's start with Alfitaria's caravan.
Sarah: Here they come now.
Karen: Come on, let's go.
Alfitaria's caravan shows up
Sol Racht: That was a living hell. The pink guy wouldn't shut the hell up!
A figure appears in the back of the caravan
Depre: Looks like someone beat us to it.
Karen: Not on my watch. Let's get him.
The figure starts running away
Karen: Hey, you son of a bitch, get back here!
Karen tackles the figure
Karen: OK, give me the goods,or you'll never see your girlfriend again.
Depre: Oh my god. Karen, get off of him!
Karen: Why?
Depre: Cause that's my boyfriend, asshole!
Karen: Oh, so this is him?
: Yeah. Now get off of me, you crazy bitch.
Daemon: Great. All that leaves me is Sarah.
Sarah: Don't even think about it.
Daemon: groans
Rutker: So what's his name?
Depre: Sylphior.
Sylphior: Yeah, whatever.
Depre: All right. We're through with that. Anyways, what the hell are you doing here, you bastard?
Sylphior: sighs All right, if I need to. I got bored.
Depre: You got bored? Great, you got bored, so you decide to steal.
Sylphior: Well, you guys were going to steal, too.
Depre: That's not the point, you bastard!
Sylphior: Great, she's on her angry side, now. I don't know which side I like better.
Karen: Angry, as long as it's not on me.
Sylphior: Yeah.
Depre: Well, if you bored, why don't you join us?
Sylphior: And stay with a group of crazy people? And you?
Karen: Watch it, asshole.
Sylphior: Sure, what the hell.
Sylphior: So what have you guys been doing?
Depre: Oh, let me tell you the whole story so far.
Sylphior: Great, I had to ask.
Depre: All right, so far we've only gotten 2 drops of myrrh…
Sylphior: I'm just going to ignore her.
Karen: So what town are you from? You're a Clavat…
Sarah: Yet, you don't look like somebody from Fields of Fum.
Rutker: Yeah! What's up with that?
Sylphior: Because I'm not from Fields of Fum, or any of the towns you know. I'm from…
Karen: Legendarious!
Sylphior: Dammit, how'd you know? It's supposed to be a secret!
Karen: My sister told me.
Sylphior: Who?
Karen: Sally.
Sylphior: Oh, her. No wonder why you seem familiar. Sally was a menace. She was cold and brutal.
Karen: Yeah, that was her.
Sylphior: Was?
Aaron: You really shouldn't talk about it.
Depre: And then we…Hey! Are you even listening to me?
Sylphior: No.
Depre: Ugh, I should have known.
Karen: All right, here comes the Leuda Caravan!
They all charge
Daemon: Guys! Get over here! It's an emergency!
Karen: Sighs What is it, asshole?
Daemon: I can't get this mustard jar open.
Depre: I'm going to kill you , Daemon.
Karen: Not if I do it first.
Daemon: Uh, guys? A little help?
Sylphior: I don't care.
Aaron: I'm with them.
Fight Cloud
Daemon: I don't feel so good.
Sylphior: I still don't care.
Depre: Come on, Sylphior, let's go!
Sylphior: Sighs Where are we going?
Aaron: We're going to the Mine of Cathuriges.
Karen: Yeah.
Rutker: Wait guys.
Event
Sarah: What event is it this time?
Sylphior: A Gurdy one.
Aaron: Everyone to the shelters!
Rutker: We can't. We're trapped.
Karen: Ah crap.
Gurdy: Oh, hello. I was wondering if you-
Sylphior: OK, look you annoying bastard. We're not doing anything for you, you're not traveling with us, and if you read us that poem, I will personally come to you house while you're asleep and cut off your balls and strike you in the throat till you die a million times over. Capiscé?
Gurdy: Ca-…ca-…cry-Crystal clear.
Sylphior: Now get the hell out of here.
Event ends
Karen: Wow. That's the most violent thing I ever heard in life.
Sylphior: Yeah, that happens sometimes.
Depre: It creeps me out sometimes.
Sarah: I can see why.
Karen: Now can we continue with stealing from Leuda?
Rutker: Sure.
Sylphior: Hold on. I need to do something.
Daemon: Um, so do I. Give me a few minutes.
Sylphior: Not that kind of business, asshole.
Depre: Ugh, I didn't need to know that.
Sylphior walks out
Karen: So how'd you meet him?
Depre: Kinda like your story, but the other way around. OK, so I was in Sidewinder.
Daemon: Isn't that the land made of ice?
Depre: Yeah.
Daemon: Cool! What was that like?
Depre: Um, it was cold.
Daemon: That's it? Just cold?
Depre: What do you want from me? A poem? It's a land made of ice. It's really…freakin…cold.
Karen: Can you just let him tell the story?
Depre: Ok, so I was-
Daemon: Is this the story?
Depre: Ok, that's it. When I die, your ass is haunted. I'm going to haunt you everynight.
Karen: Yeah, you're starting to annoy me now. Wait, you're always annoying me. Just continue.
Depre: OK, so as I was saying, I was in Sidewinder, bitching about the cold, when all of a sudden, this huge Cave Worm comes. So, I was trapped, no weapons, when all of a sudden, he came and saved me. After the Cave Worm was dead, I had asked him if he wanted to travel with me. He said no, but gave me a map to his town. So I've been seeing him ever since.
Sarah: Pretty good story.
Depre: Oh, here he comes. Don't tell him I told you the story, or even talk about it. He gets real embarrassed by it.
Karen: OK.
Sylphior comes
Karen: Hey Sylphior! How'd ya-
Depre: Dammit, Karen. I mean it.
Karen: All right, all right, jeez.
Sylphior: Ok, I'm ready. Let's go, Depre.
Depre: Ok.
Karen: OK, we've missed the Leuda Caravan, but we can still get the Marr's Caravan.
Depre: OK. Wait. I need to talk to Sylphior.
They all lean towards
Depre: In private!
Rutker: Oh, sorry.
Daemon: Oooh, he's getting the talk!
Sylphior: Shut up, Daemon.
Depre and Sylphior go in private
Depre: OK, are you sure you're all right? I mean ever since…
Sylphior: I told you, I'm fine. It's under control. He may come and go, but now I can tell whenever he comes.
Depre: OK, cause I don't want you hurting my friends, yourself.
Sylphior: Or you…again.
Depre: Yeah. OK, so you're positive?
Sylphior: Yea, Depre.
Depre: Cause this has been happening since you were 5 you told me.
Sylphior: Yea, Depre.
Depre: I don't want you running around again like some crazy kid.
Sylphior: Yea, Depre.
Depre: You've got to learn to accept your problem.
Sylphior: Yea, Depre.
Depre: Will you actually answer me this time?
Sylphior: Yea, Depre.
Depre: Let's just go.
Aaron: Can't I just carry the Chalice when we're ready to go?
Rutker: Sighs Sure.
Aaron: Oh, thank you Puts down Chalice
Depre: OK! WE'RE READY TO GO!
Aaron: Groans Ok.
Karen: OK, here comes the Marr's Caravan. Get ready.
Sarah: OK.
Sylphior: Whatever.
Daemon: Wind-fly!
Depre: 0.0 Yeah, we're ready. I don't think he's ready for anything.
The Black Knight appears. Oh, Light! Starts playing
Karen: UGH! Will we ever get anything done?
Sylphior: Hold on, let me take care of this. Eyes glow red NOW! MASTER DARKNESS! A dark force covers the Black Knight, sending him somewhere
Black Knight: Where the hell am I?
Caboose: Do you like me? I like me…
Aaron: What the hell was that?
Depre: Um, could you excuse us for a second?
Depre and Sylphior go somewhere…again
Depre: I thought you had it under control!
Sylphior: I did! He came, so I decided to use him!
Depre: If you use him, he'll gain control of you! Don't let him!
Sylphior: You don't understand. I have control of it for now.
Depre: Yeah-FOR NOW!
Sylphior: Look, we'll be OK. As long as I know when he's here, I'll be able to control it.
Depre: Sighs OK. I don't know how long we can keep this from them.
Sylphior: Don't worry. It'll be all right
Kiss
Depre: Yeah, OK.
Daemon: OK, what the hell was that?
Sylphior: None of your business let's just go.
Karen: OK, you know what? Let's just screw the stealing. We'll never do anything!
Sylphior: It wouldn't matter. I had already stole everything from the caravans.
Sarah: You know, you could have told us that.
Sylphior: I didn't want to.
Aaron: I hate you with great ferocity.
Sylphior: Yeah, don't care. Hey, there's Jësoz! Depre, I'll chase after him, you head him off at the pass!
Depre: Jësoz? Head him off at the pass? Who the hell says that anymore? Who does he think he is? Some kind of freaking cowboy? You better catch Jësoz, Sylph, or I'll personally weld your balls to your ass!
Sarah: Ugh, that is so wrong.
Karen: Who's Jësoz?
Depre: No need to explain. Come on, let's go.
To Be Continued…