Well hello there! Not much to say on this chapter apart from that it's quite short...but the next one will be longer.
"Rei?" Mariah appeared as he opened the front door the next morning, looking furious. "You lying little SHIT!"
"What are you- Ah!" Rei cried out and stepped back as Mariah slapped his cheek, making it burn red.
"How could you lie to me Rei?"
"I-"
"I phoned your office and asked for Martin's number! He's not one of your friends from work at all! He doesn't exist!"
"Mariah, I-"
"How could you do this to me? You're seeing some other woman! I know you are! Don't even TRY to deny it!" Vaguely aware of Niu and Jin watching from the top of the stairs, Rei attempted to reply.
"Mariah...there's no other woman..."
"Don't LIE!" The sheer irony of it all made Rei suddenly snap.
"It's one of the only things I've told you over the last few years that -isn't- a lie, Mariah."
"What?" She stopped suddenly, the wind taken out of her sails.
"I -am- seeing someone. But I wasn't lying. It isn't a woman. I'm gay, Mariah- I've always been gay. Since before we were together." Mariah slapped him again, looking wary and angry.
"Don't keep making up excuses, Rei. Stop lying. Just tell me who she is." Frustrated, Rei grabbed her by the upper arms and shook her.
"I'm not lying. I'm gay. When I go out on a night, when I 'work' at weekends...I've been seeing other men since we were first married. But the person I'm seeing now...it's serious, Mariah. I love him."
"What are you saying, Rei?" Her voice was barely a whisper.
"I didn't want to hurt you." Rei blurted out. "I wanted to be there for Niu when she was born. I wanted to be there for Jin when he was. I wanted...I wanted my family to be happy and I've -tried-, Mariah...but I can't keep pretending forever..." He took a deep breath. "I've always tried to do right by you and the kids and I've lied and lied to you for so long...it's all just lies! I'm not impotent, I just don't want to have sex with you because shockingly, you're not a man! And I wasn't suicidal last night and I wasn't embarrassed! I just couldn't face picking up the phone and LYING to you again!"
Mariah wrenched herself away from him, looking murderous. "Get out, Rei! If you can't just be honest and tell me the truth then get out!"
"I AM telling you the truth you stupid bitch!" Rei yelled back. Why now, when he'd finally been honest with her, didn't she believe him?
"Oh! Get out! Just get OUT!" Mariah screamed, running away into the kitchen. Rei looked to the top of the stairs. Niu and Jin were still there, looking down at him with confused and angry expressions on their faces. "Niu...Jin..." They both looked away. "I'm sorry..." No reply. And at that, he turned tail and ran.
"Bryan?" He called. letting himself back into the flat. "Are you in?" No reply, so evidently the Russian wasn't. Sighing heavily, Rei walked further inside and collapsed onto the sofa. It was all going so terribly wrong. Mariah wasn't supposed to find out. Niu and Jin -definitely- weren't supposed to find out. And now they had Rei was at rather a loss as to what to do about it. In the end, he decided to text Niu, because he couldn't face trying to contact Mariah and because texting meant he didn't have to speak to her for real.
'Hi Niu.' He started off. It took him a few minutes to think of what to say next. 'I didn't mean for you to find out like that. Love Dad.' The reply was almost instant, and it made Rei feel a little uneasy.
'I dnt bleve ur gay y cnt u tel the truth?' He stared at the screen, shocked. Niu didn't believe him?
'Why don't you believe me? I'm being honest.' He sent back.
Then his phone started to ring, so he answered it. "Hello?"
"Dad, what do you think you're -doing-? Mum's crying because of what you said to her! Why couldn't you have been honest instead of saying all that stuff about being gay?"
"I -was- being honest, Niu." Rei said slowly. Niu sounded upset...so he'd have to choose his words carefully.
"Stop it! Stop being such a...a wanker!"
"Niu! Don't you dare speak to me like that! I'm your father!" He retorted, shocked. He heard the door clicking behind him and felt like he just wanted to be swallowed into the floor.
"You can't be gay because you don't have a boyfriend!" Niu sounded as if she was on the verge of tears...
"Niu, I -do- have a boyfriend." He tried to say it gently but it came out exasperated.
"You don't have a boyfriend- you have -Mum-!"
"Niu, I have a boyfriend. I'm in his flat. He's here right now." At that point Bryan sat down beside him, evidently guessing what had happened.
"Then let me speak to him!" Puzzled, Rei held the phone out to Bryan.
"She...wants to speak to you." The Russian took the phone and held it to his ear apprehensively.
"Hello? Niu?" A pause. "Yeah. I'm Bryan. Yeah. I am. What? No. I'm his boyfriend, yeah. Look-"
"I HATE YOU!"
Rei could hear Niu's screamed remark and it made him feel suddenly cold inside. "She hung up." Bryan commented uselessly. "So...did you tell them, or-?"
"Mariah phoned the office to get 'Martin's' number."
"Ah."
"I don't think she believed anything I told her though...she's convinced I'm seeing another woman and I'm just making up an excuse when I say I'm gay..." Bryan shook his head sadly.
"Oh Rei...I'm sorry..."
"I don't think I believe it myself..." Bryan looked puzzled.
"What, that you're gay?"
"No...I mean...this whole thing just hasn't sunk in yet..."
Bryan nodded, putting the phone on the floor and reaching out to pull Rei closer, laying an arm around his shoulders. "I mean what do I do now? What about Niu and Jin? If I leave Mariah...she'll stop me from seeing them! You heard Niu! She doesn't believe me! She's siding with her mother!"
"Cross that bridge when you come to it. Anyway, Niu'll see sense. She won't be able to avoid you for that long."
"But...she thinks I'm -lying-!"
"She'll get over it. You're her Dad. She loves you. And anyway, you didn't cheat on her in any way, so..." He sighed. "Phone her. Arrange to meet her for a coffee or something."
"She doesn't like coffee..."
"Hot chocolate then. Invite her round here if you want. Although maybe that wouldn't be such a good idea, all things considered..." Bryan shrugged, standing up. "Maybe it'd be a good idea to give her time to cool off. Or you could try talking to your son instead..."
Rei rubbed his forehead distractedly. "I could..."
"You could give it a day or two and then go back. Try and talk to them again." Bryan leaned down to kiss Rei's cheek. "I'm getting a shower, okay? If you want me, just yell." Rei nodded and watched the Russian stroll into the bathroom.
A sigh escaped his lips and he closed his eyes. He couldn't face it all...it was just too big to take in...
They all -knew-...
He started to cry softly, tucking himself up into a ball and pressing himself up against the sofa arm and back. It was all over. The lie was exposed. And when they finally realised he was telling the truth, everyone would find out...friends, in-laws, neighbours, people at work...and they would all be against him...Mariah and Niu and Jin all hated him, thought he was a liar...and it -hurt-...
He could imagine them all at home- Niu in her room, Jin in his, and Mariah...
He hadn't meant to hurt her...he didn't want her to be upset...
He sobbed harder, fingernails digging into his skin.
He'd thought he was doing the right thing. He'd thought keeping it a secret would be -better-... It -had- been better...it had been fine...he'd been happier with everything the way it was! But now that big elaborate web of lies had collapsed, and-
"Rei..."
"I never wanted to hurt them!" The Chinese choked out, grabbing Bryan and clinging to him. "They don't even know everything yet and I've hurt them so much-!" Reassuringly strong arms clamped around him, pinning him against a reassuringly warm chest. "How could I do this to them...they don't deserve this... What have I -done-, Bryan?"
"Calm down." Bryan's voice, harsh as it was, cut through the panicky thoughts and scrambled regrets. "Go back tomorrow, and explain everything. Don't let it turn into some kind of argument, just explain. Tell the truth. And if she still doesn't believe you then, then it's denial." Rei nodded. "She isn't going to want to hear that you're gay. So she'll try and ignore the fact, and she'll gloss over it and explain it away, but you have to tell her, at least. And not in the heat of the moment, but properly and calmly."
"I...I know..."
"Whatever happens, Rei, I'm here for you." Rei sniffed and tightened his hold on his lover.
"Will you...will you come with me tomorrow?"
"If that's what you want."
"It is..."
Next Chapter: Bryan becomes exhibit A, Rei gets slapped some more, and Mariah has a threat to make.
R&R please!