Ok, this is a sickness. I swear I need some medical help soon before I just start to blow off school to write these things! So far homework is as far as I've gone. So, this is a two-part fic. This is obvious part one. So it takes place In the Clamor and the Clangor. I have had this started for the past month and a half actually. And I just started to work on it again. Well I hope you like it because these fics will cause me my grades to go down. Well, there is always tomorrow. Maybe I will just hide my laptop tomorrow so I can't get on here and type these stories. On withthe fic!
Disclaimer: Does anyone on this site own anything? I didn't think so.
A/N: Italics are thoughts. And really pretty of course.
Part One
"Because! I wasted a week of my life adjusting to the idea that you had moved only to find out that you haven't moved." She said trying to get Luke to understand what she was really trying to say. Really trying to say? What am I crazy? I don't have feelings for Luke! She yelled at herself inside her head. This always happened whenever Luke was around. No mater what he was talking about she always got the sense that she was hiding something from him. She tried to deny the fact that it was the feeling that maybe they could be more than just coffee addict and her enabler.
"How much adjusting did you have to do? Nothing's changed! I still see you everyday, I still cook your food, I still serve your coffee. What do you care?" he yelled. She felt hurt that he felt that she needed a reason to care! God what was wrong with him? And again with the little unhappy voices in my head!
"I care." She responded. She didn't want to tell him the truth. She didn't want to have to tell him that it was all because she was jealous of Nicole. Wait, I'm jealous of Nicole? She questioned herself.
"Why?" he asked again. What is wrong with her? One simple question and I can't get a single straight answer! Luke thought. He desperately wanted to know why she didn't want him to move. He still cooked her food. He still helped repair the things around her house. He was still there for her. Or was he? Maybe she thought that he wasn't going to be around as her friend. But why was she reacting so extremely?
"Because I don't want you to move." God! Not this again! Luke thought.
"Why? Why don't you want me to move?" Why! Why! Why! He screamed in his head. He wanted an answer. He wanted to know why she was acting so strange. He wanted to know whether it was because she thought he would be there or if she was just jealous. Jealous? He thought. Never did he think he would be considering this one of the reasons Lorelai did what she did. Never in a lifetime did he think she might be jealous. But there it was, just floating around in his head. But jealous of what? Nicole? She would never be outdone by Nicole. Lorelai has always been number one in my life…What! He screamed in his head again. Only this time it was at himself. Did Lorelai really mean more in his life than Nicole—his wife?
"Because I don't want you to move! Ok! I just don't want you to move!" she yelled. Luke could tell she was on the verge of tears. Why was she getting so emotional over this? Why?
"Because why? Normally the 'because' in a sentence is followed by an actual reason." He said. He sounded harsher than he had intended. BIG MISTAKE.
"Hmm, let's see. Why Luke? Why? Fine I will tell you. Because I'm your friend. I don't want you to run off with some stupid lawyer who doesn't even care about you! Luke if she really cared, wouldn't she be the one here with you tonight? Wouldn't she be the one begging you for food at the diner every night? Wouldn't she be the one that makes you smile and laugh, and enjoy yourself? But no! I am! I am the one who," she immediately stopped her rant realizing what she had just said. She looked shocked. Oh, shit. She thought. There was no way she was getting out of this one unless she…
"I have to go!" she said as she ran out the door still stunned at what she said. Hopefully Luke wouldn't follow her. She didn't realize that Luke wouldn't have been able to follow her even if he had wanted to. He was paralyzed. He couldn't move. Had she really just said all of that? Had she meant it? And then it hit him. It didn't matter if she had meant it. It was all true anyways. Everything she had said. She was closer to a girlfriend—hell wife!—than Nicole ever had been.
Just then the Reverend walked in.
"Luke? What are you—?" he started and then spotted the tools. "Oh thank God! Carry on." He said as he quickly walked away apparently not knowing what he had just missed.
"Damn it!" Luke yelled at himself. Good thing he wasn't that religious or else he would have spent the next hour in confession for that. Should I go after Lorelai? I could, but what would she say? What would I say? Why does life have to be so hard? I wish I hadn't gotten back together with Nicole! I don't even love her! I have never loved her! Then why did I marry her? It could have been the alcohol, or it could have been that feeling that has filled the bottom half of my stomach for the past ten years. I guess didn't think I would ever find anyone to be with. I thought life was just a game full of take-it-or-leave it situations. What was wrong with me? Loneliness. That was the feeling. That IS the feeling that swims around in my stomach. I just never understood that it was pure loneliness. But now that I think about it, I will always have Lorelai. Always. I love Lorelai. I love Lorelai? When did that become official? The moment she first walked into your diner. I have to go talk to her!
He then ran outside, forgetting all about his tool box and the bells, to go find Lorelai. But where could she be? Her house was a good prospect.
"Yep, babe. I will do that. I will pass on the news. Ok. Bye babe. Love you." Lorelai said before hanging up the phone. She had just been talking to Rory who had called to remind Lorelai to tell Dean something. Lorelai sighed. She was all alone in her house. She could call Jason, but then he might inquire as to why she was not feeling very talkative, and that would lead to the 'why do you care about Luke?' questions, which would lead to the 'are you sleeping with him?' freak out question. She couldn't take that.
Sookie had her hands full with davey. Rory, not an option, she would ask too many questions. What she needed right now was Luke. But he was the reason that she needed him. Wow! That is an annoying vicious circle! Maybe I will just take a walk.
She grabbed her coat and headed for the door. When she opened it she found Luke standing in front of her, obviously just about to knock.
"Luke. Wha…wha…What are you doing here?" she asked in an almost-whisper volume.
"Because you care." He said. His tone was so sincere as he stared at her. Why is he the only guy that can cause me to go weak in the knees with just a few short words? Lorelai thought to herself.
"What?" Lorelai asked. Her voice was very shaky now.
"Because you care." He repeated. But this time he leaned slowly down to kiss her.
What the hell is happening? Is he…oh god! He is! Luke is about to kiss me! What do I do? Why am I freaking out? Because you are not supposed to kiss Luke! But you aren't; Luke is kissing you. But it is the same thing! No it's not! Yes it is! And you are dating Jason! And he is married to Nicole! Just minor technicalities. What the hell are you talking about? Technicalities? We are both cheating! This is bad! Very bad! No it's not! Just let him kiss you and then go from there! No I can't! Yes you can! I can't! You can! I can't think straight is what I can't do!
And then his lips met hers. Lorelai, oddly, was surprised to find that he was a wonderful kisser. Nicole really doesn't deserve this! At first it was very odd, but then Lorelai rapped her arms around Luke's neck and he placed his hands on her hips. He pulled away.
"Lorelai--" but was cut off by the return of her lips on his. And what a sequel it was! This time the sweet little kiss turned into something more passionate. Lorelai felt Luke's tongue on her bottom lip. She immediately opened her mouth and deepened the kiss. At least until the phone started ringing. Luke was again the one to break the contact between their lips.
"Don't you have to get that?" he asked. He sounded exhausted. He had never kissed anyone who could keep him that involved before.
"Shut up." Lorelai told him and then pulled him into another kiss. He gave in until he heard a man's voice on the answering machine.
"Hey Lorelai, it's Jason. I was wondering if you were home. If you are, I was just wondering if you want to come over tomorrow night. You can wear those pink little panties you know I like. Well I have to go. Call when you get a chance. Bye." Jason's voice rang through the answering machine. Lorelai's face was filled with horror. She had cheated on Jason! After she had told herself not to! Luke just looked at her with a face of regret.
I shouldn't have come here! I shouldn't have kissed her. But she kissed you back. Twice! But you cheated on Nicole! And she cheated on Jason! Can't I just have one voice in my head making decisions instead of multiple ones?
"Oh god! What did I just do?" Lorelai asked herself backing into the house. She was happy with Jason. She had been spending most of her free time with him. She liked him! But you don't love him! So? You love Luke. No I don't! And who on earth believes you? So! Maybe no one believes me! But that doesn't make it not true! But you do love him. I like Jason. But you love Luke. But I'm with Jason. But you love Luke. But Jason makes me breakfast! And Luke doesn't? You love Luke. Admit it! You have been avoiding it! But you love Luke! More than Jason! I don't love Jason. Exactly! You belong with Luke. I do belong with him. You don't belong with Jason. I don't belong with him. You love Luke. I…I…I love Luke.
"I have to leave. I'm sorry Lorelai." Luke said as he rushed out the door. Lorelai just stood there. Boy, can that man kiss! I can't wait for the sex! what!
Luke walked as fast as he could back to the diner. He rushed through the snow getting it in his boots and soaking his socks. Then some snow from a tree above his head fell down. As it slid on his head and down his coat, he yelled "damn snow!" as anger built up inside him. Why did he have to kiss her? Why? 'Because she cared?' what kind of answer was that? She cared—as a friend! Nothing more! But she kissed you back, idiot! What is wrong with you! Why can't you understand that? She reciprocated the gesture! She wants you just as much as you want her! Not possible. What? It's not possible for anyone to want anyone else as much as I want Lorelai Gilmore. Well then go get her! I can't! Why? She is dating the pink panties guy! So? So I can't 'go get her' if she is dating someone else! Why not?
"Nicole." He said as he walked into the diner (which was closed) to see her sitting on one of the stools.
"Hey Luke." she said in her little girly voice.
"Wha…what are you doing here?" he asked. He was astonished at this night. First he went to break the bells, fought with Lorelai, kissed her, ran away and now Nicole!
"Well I was wondering where you were." She said.
"I left a message saying I was staying here in stars hollow tonight." He said.
"Well then I am here to ask what is going on." She said calmly.
"What do you mean?" he asked. What is she talking about?
"Lorelai."
"Lorelai?"
"Lorelai. What is going on between you two?" she asked. God she was really calm! Why was she so calm?
"Oh god! Not another Rachel!" he said as he threw his hands up in the air.
"What?" Nicole asked confused. What the hell is he talking about? Is this his other girl friend?
"Never mind. Nothing is going on. Why are you asking?" he said. His anger level was starting to rise like a thermometer in boiling water. And he was about to explode. What is her problem? Why is it that everyone thinks that there is something going on between Lorelai and me? Well there is. No, there was. For about three minutes. Thing finished. Thing done with. Now she is going back to her pink oriented slime ball of a boyfriend. You are never going to let the pink underwear thing go are you? No I'm not!
"Because the past few nights, ever since you have moved in, you have been staying here in starts hollow. The only reason I can see for that is that you are here for her." she said as he passed a cup of coffee to her.
"I have early deliveries every Tuesday and Thursday nights." He answered. Why do I have to be sleeping with someone to want to stay a few nights in the town I have lived in all my life?
"And tonight?" she asked. Oh shit! What is my excuse for tonight? Should I tell her I was just breaking the bells? Yes, I will tell her.
"I went to break the bells with a friend. Which is where my tools are now." He said. All of a sudden big annoying clanging could be heard throughout the town. Oh fuck. I'm screwed.
"Those bells?" she asked. Why is he lying to me? I know he obviously wasn't there.
"Well we got kind of distracted and then the bells just got forgotten." He answered. Would she buy it?
"'We' as in Lorelai and you?"
"Yes, 'we' as in Lorelai and I." he answered. He was so screwed. She would burry him for this.
"So you got distracted by what? The pretty carpet? Maybe the nice stained glass windows? Or maybe her lips!" she accused.
"What? Why would you accuse me of that?" he yelled. Because it's true.
"Because I have seen the way that you look at her!"
"What are you talking about?" he yelled again.
"Luke! Every time you are in the same room as her, you flirt, you give in to her ever want, something you should do with your wife! Not someone who is supposedly just your friend!" she yelled.
"What do you want from me? She was in my life first! I was friends with her before you even came into my life!"
"I am your wife!" she yelled at him.
"I was drunk!" he yelled as loud as he could.
"I will mail the divorce papers to you on Monday. Come pick up your stuff tomorrow while I'm at work. Leave the key in the mail box. Goodbye Luke." she said calmly as she got up, grabbed her purse and left the dinner. Luke just wiped his hands over his face and sighed.
"I had two before, none now." He said as he grabbed the rag and did the only thing he could think to do at the time: wipe down the counter.
Lorelai just stood there thinking about what had just happened. She had gone over the sequence of events repeatedly, but she still couldn't figure out why it had happened. Yes, she had convinced herself by now that she loved Luke and that yes she didn't regret the kiss, but what about Luke? He may have started things, but maybe he regretted his decision now. Maybe he was just drunk, or crazy, or maybe even both. But she had to know. She then realized to only real way to find out what was going through Luke's mind was to go and ask him herself.
She pulled on her jacket, grabbed her keys and her purse, and then made her way out the door. She ran as fast as she could, considering the shoes she was wearing. Why did I choose these? Why? Stupid damn shoes!
When she got to the diner, she saw Luke wiping down the counter like he was trying to sand the counter down. He looked extremely angry and deep within his thoughts.
Should I go in? He looks like he might bite my head off. I wonder what happened. When he left my house he just looked like he had made a mistake. What made him mad like this? Only one way to find out!
Lorelai pushed open the door and Luke looked up. What the hell is she doing here? Shouldn't she be with that boyfriend of hers? Luke asked himself. He wanted to blame Lorelai for his problems with Nicole, but it was like he had tried to do with Rachel. He had tried to blame Lorelai for Rachel leaving, but he was the one that wasn't fully committed to the relationship. He was the one at fault.
"Wha…what are you…doing here?" he said slowly trying hard not to do anything he would regret.
"I just didn't like the way we left things back there." Lorelai said quietly as she gestured towards the direction of her house.
"So?" Luke asked. He acted as if he didn't care. Why didn't he care? Was she wrong when she thought that there might be some chance for their relationship to go further than it was already?
"Luke. What is going to happen between us? I mean, you're with Nicole!" she yelled.
"And you're with that pink undies slime ball!" he yelled back. Oops. He didn't mean to let that slip. What would the consequences be for saying that?
"His name is Jason. And Nicole is so great? God Luke! She is probably cheating on you! And she's a…she's a…" she stuttered.
"She's a what!" Luke yelled.
"She's a lawyer for crying out loud! A lawyer Luke! You hate lawyers! I hate lawyers! The whole goddamn world hates lawyers!" she screamed at him. Wow! That was just a little harsher than she had meant it to be.
"She and I are not together anymore!" he let out.
"What?" she asked quietly. What the hell was he talking about?
"She came by earlier, and she said that you were the problem in our relationship! She said I was cheating on her, and then she just said we were done!" he yelled.
"So this is my fault? You did cheat on her Luke! YOU cheated on her! You kissed me first! I had nothing to do with that first kiss!" she screamed again.
"I am not blaming it on you! But that was all a mistake! You still have that Jason guy!" he yelled again. Why had they started yelling in the first place? What had initiated this childlike behavior?
"It was all a mistake? I'm a mistake? Then fine! I'll leave! I hope you have a happy life alone Luke! By the way, I wouldn't have worked between Jason and me anyways." She said before walking out of the dinner and into the snow. She let tears stream down her face as she slowly made her way home. He had! He had rejected her! God! How could I have been so stupid? I let myself think that maybe, just maybe Luke and I were meant for each other! Maybe we could have been more! But no! Luke had to be an ass! And bring up Jason! Now look at me! I'm crying and I'm covered in snow! Screw you! You lied!
You are supposed to come with happy events! Not sad depressing ones! You have let me down! The snow has let me down.
She then found herself making her way up the stairs to her house. She hadn't even noticed that she was home. She opened the front door and made her way up the stairs to her room where she collapsed onto the bed. She fell asleep just laying there with her jacket and clothes still on.
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Review please. If no one reviews then I will think that no one wants to even read the last part! That thought just makes me sad! And think, if I get a C in Chemistry, then it's your entire fault!
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