Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or the musical Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.
Authors note: I love LOTR and I love the musical "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers", so this is my feeble attempt to blend the two! ENJOY!
Sobbin' Elfmen
After Aragorn and Arwen were married, Aragorn got up on stage and Legolas, Glorfindel, Elrohir, Elladan, Celeborn, and Faramir got up on stage and began to sing a song they had written to Lord Elrond.
ARAGORN
Tell ya 'bout them sobbin' elfmen
Who lived in the Eldar days.
It seems that they all went ruling'
While their daughter was off to graze.
Well, a Mortal Man was wanderin' by
And saw her dancin' and jumpin' high,
So he took her heart, made her daddy cry.
That's what the Lay of Lethien says.
-
Oh yes!
Them a elfmen was sobbin', sobbin', sobbin'
Fit to be tied.
Ev'ry muscle was throbbin', throbbin' throbbin'
and wantin' his hide.
Oh they cried and cursed and cursed and cried
All over Beleriand's countryside
So don't forget that when you're takin' a bride.
Sobbin' fit to be tied
From want of his mortal hide!
-
Beren never did return his daughter,
The victor gets all the loot.
She followed him to death, by magic,
To Sauron's hideout too.
And you've never seens so,
They tell me, such downright domesticity.
With a elven baby on each knee
Named "Dior" and "Elwing"
-
SIX SINGERS
Oh yes!
That a elfmen was sobbin', sobbin', passin' them nights.
-
ARAGORN
While Berin was goin' out hobbin', nobbin'
Startin' up fights.
Luthien kept dancing all through the nights, While her father was gettin into fights
With Morgoth and sayin' "Someday we'll conquer his night!"
-
GLORFINDEL
Conquern' all of his frights.
-
ARAGORN
Just fightin'!
While Luthien danced at nights.
-
LEGOLAS
"Hey listen to this"
Now when Aragorn turned twenty
Lord Elrond was not there.
So Aragorn caught Arwen
The likeness of Luthien fair.
-
ARAGORN
Now let this be because it's true,
A lesson to the likes of you,
Date elf women like the mortals do
When their daddy's are not there.
-
SIX SINGERS
Oh yes!
Them a elfmen was sobbin', sobbin',
Sobbin' buckets of tears
On account o' old Beren',
Aragorn' really rattled their ears.
Oh they acted angry and annoyed
-
GLORFINDEL
But secretly they was overjoyed
-
ARAGORN
You must recall that when picking out your mate
-
SINGERS
Oh, oh, oh, oh them poor little dears.
-
SIX SINGERS and ARAGORN
Oh yes
SINGERS: Them a elfmen was sobbin', sobbin', sobbin'
ARAGORN: Oh yeah then sobbin' elfmen
SINGERS: Weepin' a ton Then sobbin' elfmen
Just remember what datin' datin' datin'
ARAGORN: Oh yeah them sobbin' elfmen
SINGERS: Hood woulda done. Them sobbin women.
We'll be just like them three merry men
And make 'em all merry once again.
-
ARAGORN
And though they'll be a sobbin' for a while
-
ALL
Oh yes!
We're gonna make them sobbin' elfmen smile!
- - -
After the song and dance ended Elrond put his hand to his head and rubbed it while saying, "And I let him marry my daughter?"