Life Out of Balance Chapter 10: If you don't mind, I'm gonna pass out part of the landscape, a harry potter fanfic

See disclaimer in chp 1.

This chapter was finally betaed

Chapter 10: If you don't mind, I'm gonna pass out / part of the landscape.(1)

There was a lull in the normal noise of the Great Hall when Harry entered it for breakfast the next morning. He was late; the Daily Prophet had already arrived with the mail and news of the Death Eater attack had reached the Hogwarts community. He reached his usual seat in the middle of the table and sat besides Ron facing the other house tables.

"Do they blame me for this, too?"

Ron almost choked on a piece of bacon.

"What do you mean, mate?"

Hermione, who was seated across from them, threw a piece of toast at him.

"Honestly, Ron, it's like you don't know him at all! He means does everyone blame him because he didn't stop last night's attack."

"Oh!"

Ron was not at his brightest in the morning, but he was a good, loyal friend who always stood by Harry and from time to time, he would give some brilliant piece of advice that would make up for his less than appropriate comments on other occasions.

Hermione reached across the table and grabbed Harry's hand.

"Now, Harry, you can't let them get to you; you are not responsible for every little thing You Know Who does and you did all you could to stop what happened last night. Things could have been much worse had you not warned the Headmaster. Besides, people should learn to fight for themselves and not put their lives on the hands of a sixteen year old. Now eat your breakfast, we're going to be late to class."

She was aware of the fact that half the school had heard her. She had done it on purpose. They should all be ashamed of themselves for expecting Harry, an untrained wizard, a young boy, a teenager at best, to save them all with his bare hands. Real life did not work that way and her fellow students needed to see that in times of war it was necessary to learn how to defend themselves and not lie down and prepare to die, just waiting for a knight in shining armor to come along and help them.

Harry finished his breakfast quickly. He was aware of what Hermione was up to and he was grateful. Just as he finished, a tingling feeling began radiating from his scar and he knew he needed to get out of there as fast as possible. He stood from his seat and calmly left the Great Hall; it took just a look to Hermione and Ron and they knew something was not right. They followed Harry as far away from the Hall as possible. In the end, this wasn't as far away as they would have liked. Harry was blinded by a flash of pain from his scar half a corridor later. Ron held on to him and Hermione opened the door to a closet and helped get Harry inside, casting a Silencing Charm as an afterthought.

Ron held him in his arms while Hermione ran her hands through Harry's hair. They sat on the floor of the dusty little closet for a long while, not aware that their first class had ended a while ago and people would most likely be looking for them. Harry remained unaware because he was in agonizing pain and Ron and Hermione were because they were worried about their friend.

The time passed quickly and finally Harry stopped trembling. Slowly, he became aware of his surroundings, his head on Hermione's lap, the soothing motion of her hands, the sound of Ron's quiet voice and the feel of his rough hand holding his own, the hard and cold of the floor and the mustiness of the air. The pain had calmed and was now a dulling throb, but he could still feel the ghost of it, lingering behind.

He gave a tired moan; his throat was dry and scratchy. He heard Hermione's worried tone.

"Harry?"

He realized that this had been one of the first times she had seen him in this position. It was always Ron who took care of him after his nightmares, what with them being roommates and all. He turned to look at her face but the upward movement made him dizzy, so he settled for looking into Ron's worried face. The redhead gave him a crooked smile and asked,

"A memory, a vision, or a prophecy?"

He gave a tired chuckle; that was the Ron he knew and loved.

"None of the above. An emotion, anger, he was really, really mad."

They realized he didn't want to talk about it yet and since it wasn't urgent they didn't need to press him.

"Do you want to go to the infirmary?"

"Nah, I'll be fine, just… just get me to Snape so we can tell him that the past two months of training have been for naught."

He gave a pathetic little chuckle and Hermione felt the reality of their lives on her shoulders.

"Oh, Harry…"

It would have been an awkward hug with him still lying in her lap so he tried to stand up but was still too weak. So he lay there, giving his friend a backwards hug while trying not to burst into tears himself.

"It's ok, Hermione. I'm fine."

"I know, I'm sorry, I got scared at seeing you like that, I thought the worst. I'm really sorry. Let's go, can you stand?"

They tried it but his legs were made of jelly and he was forced to hold on to Ron.

They made their way to the dungeons, with Hermione in the lead making sure the way was clear and Ron supporting, almost dragging Harry. They made slow progress; it was near the end of second hour when they arrived at the door of the Potions Master's chambers. It was a Wednesday, so the children were with Professor Flitwick.

Harry said the password, Confusion, and Ron dragged him to the couch. Hermione ran to the Potions classroom to get their professor. Neither noticed curious gray eyes following their every move from the hallway.

The Potions Master entered the room in all his robes billowing glory. He stopped by Harry's side and checked him over. Once he was sure that Harry was not in immediate danger, he sat down in his high backed chair and addressed the teens.

"What happened?"

"My scar hurt, Severus. Voldemort was mad, no, furious, angry, maniacally infuriated. He tore through every Occlumency barrier I had, although I don't think he knew he was doing it."

"I see, and would you happen to know what got him so upset?"

"Last night. He doesn't know how The Order knew he would attack the orphanage, and he's upset because Bellatrix didn't get him whatever he was looking for."

"What he was looking for?"

"I don't know; whenever these bouts of anger come, by all I know is pain, pain and more pain."

He was frustrated and he knew he shouldn't take it out on Snape, but he hated being useless and even more he hated to be mentally attacked as he called these bouts of pain from his scar.

Snape raised an eyebrow in question and Harry felt ashamed of himself. He also felt like crying. The past few days had been hell and it was as if his limits were being tested and he was failing or something the test. His eyes shone with suppressed tears and then, to his (and all others present in the room) surprise, Severus Snape knelt in front of him and gave him a comforting hug.

The sky had fallen. Ron and Hermione stared at the tableau tableau is a fun word… in a state of morbid shock, acting like bystanders staring at an accident who are unable to look away. Meanwhile, Harry just melted. He felt safe, protected, and a rush of tears came forth. He held on to his teacher, who lately had become more like his friend than anything else, and he knew that here, in the warmth of Severus' embrace, he did not need to be the strong hero but just himself, Harry.

That evening, Harry was wary of going to sleep; he was tired of the visions and memories and just all the baggage that lay on his brain ready to come out once he fell asleep and lowered his defenses. He didn't even want to think about the hug, though it had felt so nice; he could count the number of times he had been hugged on one hand, but the identity of the person it had come from completely confused him and he didn't want to think about that, period.

He decided a bit of physical training would tire and calm him enough to gain at least a couple of hours of restful sleep. He left his cloak hidden, as it seemed that he risked more getting caught with it than without it. He could always play the 'I need to see the Headmaster' card.

He walked the halls of Hogwarts and felt the castle move and become alive with the sounds of the night.

Just as he was reaching the Room of Requirement, he noticed a figure following him in the shadows. Harry felt his heart start pumping faster and a rush of adrenaline cleared his mind while his training took charge. He walked forward in a seemingly normal manner and turned a corner; he then stopped and waited for his prey. As the other came near a ray of moonlight fell on him and Harry was able to identify him. He lowered his guard somewhat but did not put away his wand.

He then walked away from his hiding space and moved to stand under a nearby window. Seconds later he felt his persecutor behind him, waiting.

"What do you want, Malfoy?" Harry was neither angry nor frustrated, he was just tired.

Draco came out of the shadows and stood beside him.

"What happened today?"

Who would have thought, Malfoy asking an innocent question. Yeah, right and I'm really that naïve…

"When, exactly, are you referring to, Malfoy?"

"After breakfast, when you and your two friends went into Professor Snape's private chambers and they practically had to carry you to get you inside."

Again, there was nothing but curiosity in his tone. Hmm, curious. And how the hell had Malfoy seen that? They needed to be more careful.

"It was noth…"

But Draco interrupted before he finished.

"Don't tell me it's nothing. It was something. I saw you, Potter, you were pale, deathly pale and you couldn't even stand on your own two feet. Is this the hope of our world? We're doomed."

Harry gave a sigh; he felt exhausted and really did not want to fight right then.

"Why do you want to know, Malfoy? I never asked to be anyone's hope but I am, and there's nothing I can do to change it. Shouldn't you be happy that I'm failing?"

Draco came to stand beside him under the stained glass window. They were both lost to their thoughts for a while until Malfoy's voice broke the silence.

"I've watched you over the years, know thy enemy and all that. Our world is fickle with their affections; one day they love you and the next you're a pariah. Every single thing you do is observed by everyone and reported in the Daily Prophet. And you still fight for them?"

"'To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.' As you should know, I'm not very good at doing nothing. You didn't answer my question."

Malfoy gave a small chuckle.

"No, I didn't. Can I come back to it later?"

Harry's chuckle was a little louder. Malfoy intrigued him. Since their last talk the blond had been quiet, thoughtful even.

"I've watched you, too. You have changed; you're less arrogant, you think things through more. Maybe you're weighing your options?"

"Why would you like to know?"

Harry gave him his most charming smile; the one that always got him out of trouble with Hermione and the one that he had seen Julian trying to learn.

"Know thy enemy and such."

He gave Draco a small smile and for the first time in his life he saw Malfoy return it. It wasn't really a true ear-to-ear smile, more like a twitch of the lips, but he would take it anyway. They sobered up quickly and returned to gazing outside.

"I have to go, Malfoy. It's late and I'm tired, but before I leave let me tell you something I read this summer. 'In Germany, they first came for the communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Catholic. Then they came for me - and by that time there was nobody left to speak up. Think about it."

He turned and left a perplexed Draco Malfoy behind.

TBC…

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Quotes from the movie Ronin and are both said by the character sam and the second part the complete quote goes: Either you're part of the problem or you're part of the solution or you're just part of the landscape.

'To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.' Quote by Elbert Hubbard at: http:www.useful-information.info/quotations/inspirational-quotes.html

"In Germany, they first came for the communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Catholic. Then they came for me - and by that time there was nobody left to speak up". Martin Niemöllerabout the Holocaust

So, after much researching in various web pages (more than 10) I found two versions of the Martin Niemoller Poem, therefore, I'm leaving it as it is because when recalling something you've read a couple of times by memory you may not get it exactly as it should be word by word. Here are the two versions I've found so just take it as you might want to.

"First they came for the Communists, but I was not a Communist so I did not speak out. Then they came for the Socialists and the Trade Unionists, but I was neither, so I did not speak out. Then they came for the Jews, but I was not a Jew so I did not speak out. And when they came for me, there was no one left to speak out for me."

I also know Draco shouldn't know what Harry is talking about but I feel he should get the meaning of it. I feel it works so...