Disclaimer: We don't own anything. :Monica punches Leii's arm.: Yes we do! We own the stupid jokes::Leii punches Monica's arm: Why would we want to admit that::Monica punches Leii again: Because you were lying to the readers! You said we own nothing! We do own stuff! We own the stupid jokes. :Monica sticks hertounge out at Leii::Leii sticks her tounge out back: Meanie::The two proceed to throw punches until Fred and George pop out of no where...: Um... It would appear that your two authors are currently... indisposed... So on with chapter two!
"GINNY CANNOT DATE YOU! OF ALL THE PEOPLE AT HOGWARTS, WHY YOU?" Hermione could still here George yelling at Harrietta, who seemed to be wailing louder than ever. She was glad that Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had left for Romania earlier that evening.
What Hermione heard next shocked her.
"Leave him alone!"
It was Ginny.
Hermione continued to listen.
"You mean 'leave her alone.' See, Harry has gone through a wonderful change-"
"Why don't you go and feed your watch pixie, Fredrick!" Ginny screamed.
Hermione could just see Fred's eyes narrow. "Maybe I will! I'll feed it you!"
All Hermione could hear next was Ginny's scream, and someone stomping down the hall. She then heard the door to the twin's room open. Ginny started screaming louder.
Hermione narrowed her eyes. She couldn't believe that they were actually going to scare her like that! She ran up the stairs, she had been in the kitchen, and into the boys room.
"Fred, leave her alone, or I will fill Ginny in on what you said earlier!"
Fred was so shocked, he actually dropped Ginny, who jumped up quickly and hit her brother in the back of the head.
"You witch!" Fred screamed.
"You wizard!" Hermoine screamed back.
Ginny looked at them like they were both insane. "Were those supposed to be insults?"
"Well, I would have found it offensive if I wasn't really a witch!" Hermione screamed.
"Hey, I meant it the other way!" Fred yelled back.
Ginny decided not to inturupt their little shouting match, and escaped through the door.
"And just WHAT," Hermione screamed, "other way IS there!"
"You know, it rhymes with 'witch' and begins with a 'b.'"
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Of all the childish things. Just say it!"
Fred looked around the room indignantly.
"I," He said, "am a gentlemen. And gentlemen don't swear in front of ladies."
"Oh wait, there are no ladies here," he added.
Hermione did not react the way he expected. He expected her to shout some more and call him something awful, but she didn't. What she did instead was, tears in her eyes, walk out of the room.
Fred grimaced. That did not go as planned.
He followed her out of the room.
"Is that," she said, "why Blaise broke up with me? Because I'm not a lady?"
"No!" he answered quickly. "He probably broke up with you because you're too much of a lady for him."
Hermione turned to him. "Are you calling me a prude now?"
"No!" he answered again. "I... well..."
"Fred, honestly. You haven't been straight with me all day. All of these unfinished answers and cryptic words. Can't you just tell me what's on your mind? Really, it isn't that hard. I know you think I'm annoying and boring and a bookworm, but just say it to my face. Look, it's easy." She walked over to the mirror. "Hermione, you are an annoying, boring, bookworm."
Fred walked over to where she was and looked her in the face. "Hermione you are a beauti-"
Suddenly, someone came pounding down the stairs wailing.
"Harrietta," they both mumbled.
"Why won't it go away! George is laughing too hard to reverse it." Harrietta squealed, in her, erm, his, er, its high pitched voice.
Fred rolled his eyes, angry with Harry for ruining the opportune moment, but also grateful that he had been saved from sounding stupid.
"Hold on..." He said with a sigh. Fred pulled out his wand, and muttered a few words. Instantly, Harrietta became Harry again.
Harry looked in the mirror and, seeming pleased with how he looked, took out his wand and started up the stairs.
Fred turned back to Hermione.
"Go ahead. Out with it. I told you, I need you to be straight with me. I need to know what the heck is going on. I need there to still be some stability in my life. After what happened today, I need to know that someone is still the same."
Fred once again was interrupted, but this time by the yelp of George from up the stairs.
"But Harry, I couldn't help it, honest!" They heard him scream.
"But Fred did it within seconds! It took you about ten tries, seven of which I grew bigger boobs!"
Fred scowled at the stairs.
"It seems that the artist formerly know as Harrietta is about to murder my twin. We'll finish this later." Actually, Fred had no intent on continuing this discussion.
Hermione, despite herself, laughed at the muggle reference.
Fred quickly sprinted up the stairs, while Hermione lagged behind, still thinking about that day's past events.
When Fred got upstairs and into the room which Harry was in (Ron's) George was cowering in the corner, while Harry pointed his wand at him in a manically way. Ron, was trying to pull Harry away, but the Boy-Who-Lived-To-Then-Kill-George would not move.
Fred took matters into his own hands.
"Don't make me change you back."
Harry turned slowly to face Fred, an odd look in his eyes.
"GOD HARRY! LEAVE THEM ALL ALONE!" Ginny pushed past Fred and stopped in front of Harry, who seemed to jump at the sound of her voice.
Harry sighed in resignation. "Fine."
George, much to his relief, was able to dash out the door and into his room, while Fred attempted to go back down the stairs. However, while half way down, he lost his footing, and went flying through the air, landing right on top of Hermione, who had been walking very slowly up the stairs.
Unfortunately, this caused the pair to end up in a rather awkward position. That is, Fred straddling Hermione.
"Get. Off. Of. Me."
Fred grinned. "I seem to recall being in a similar position with you earlier. Only, you refused to get off."
"And if I recall correctly, you pushed me off."
Fred's grin, if at all possible, seemed to grow wider. "I'd like to see you try and push me off."
Hermione smiled all too sweetly at him.
"You seem to have forgotten that you have a certain body part that is a lot more vulnerable. Not to mention the fact that it isn't that hard to access."
Fred seemed taken aback. Since when had Hermione become so bold?
He seemed to be considering his options when, too late, Hermione kneed him. He screamed, fell to the side and curled up into a ball.
"Not. Fair." He said as she walked away.
Hermione did feel a bit bad about what she had just done. Maybe she should go back and check on Fred...
Hermione shrugged, when did she start caring about Fred?
With all the pranks he had pulled on her within the past few weeks, she decided he deserved it. And, if she hadn't, Ginny probably would have sooner or later.
But, she couldn't help but thinking to herself, She had started caring about Fred. Even if it was only a little.
As Hermione started to slowly climb the stairs, still in thought, she didn't notice a certain red head, who face was also bright red right about now, sneaking up behind her.
But she did notice when he quickly turned her around, picked her up, and threw her over his shoulder.
"Ahhhh! Bill! What are you doing here?" She craned her neck to get a good look at her surrogate older brother.
"And why is your face to red?"
"SHHHH! Shut up!" He whispered to her. "You'll reveal my hiding spot!"
"You call standing in the middle of the stairs with me over your shoulder a hiding spot?" Hermione huffed angrily. "You're all going mental!"
Bill grinned. He was not about to inform her about the plan he and George had just formed. First, he needed to find away to lock her in the broom closet. Apparently, George had managed to drag Fred in, since he was currently... immobile.
Hermione started angrily pounding on Bill's back.
"OW!" He said.
"Put. Me. Down." She said through clenched teeth, then added, "Or else."
Bill grinned. They had just reached the broom closet. "No problem."
He opened the door, and dropped her on the floor. He had made sure to grab her wand in the process.
Bill quickly shut the door, and cast a spell on it so that it would lock.
Hermione huffed angrily again as she stood up. She started to mumble to herself about those 'mental Weasleys,' when someone spoke form behind her.
"I'm a Weasley too, you know," She turned around to see Fred.
"You gave this-this-illness to all the others!" She pointed an accusing finger at him.
"You shouldn't assume things." he told her matter-of-factly, "You know what they say when you assume things?"
Hermione rolled her eyes. "What do they say?"
"Erm...that you shouldn't do it," He answered quickly.
Hermione rolled her eyes. Then she remembered how things had ended up last time the two of them were alone, not even ten minutes ago.
"How are... erm... are you okay?" She asked awkwardly.
Fred was taken back again, but quickly regained his composure for his answer. "No! I think there might be permanent damage! I will be the one who won't be able to continue the family line!"
Hermione rolled her eyes again. "Stop being a drama queen. I didn't hit you that hard." Although, she did feel bad. So she added, "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"
"Well," he said, "We are in a closet, all alone...I could probably think of quite a few things that could help me feel better."
"You," Hermione said dangerously, "are a pervert."
Hermione was contemplating what to say next, when a thought struck her. "We never finished our conversation. Remember? The one about being straight forward?"
"Maybes that's because it was never meant to be finished, get my drift?" Fred hoped this would work, he had seen it in some Muggle movie.
"No, I don't 'get your drift.'" Damn, he had to think of something else.
"Now, I would like to know-"
She was stopped by Fred pushing his lips onto her's quickly. It only lasted three seconds, but Hermione would have been a fool to say she didn't feel anything.
She felt her pockets for a wand, and started to panic when she did not find it. Suddenly, she grinned and ran over to the door, pounding on it.
"HARRY HELP ME! THERE IS AN EVIL DARK LORD IN HERE TRYING TO KILL ME!" She screamed. She listened, and could hear footsteps, but then heard Bill and George telling Harry off.
Fred frowned. "Oh no you don't. I need some answers."
Hermione scowled at him. "I need answers first." She said childishly,
Fred used an earlier technique and stuck out his tongue. This seemed to make Hermione even angrier.
"There could always be a repeat performance of before, when we fell down the stairs," she grinned sadistically.
Fred didn't need to here anymore threats and gave up.
"Look. What I said earlier... I guess it wasn't the most opportune moment to tell you... what with Blaise and all... But the thing is... the thing is..." He struggled to find the right words. "Okay, look. Do you remember that night in the common room? A few weeks before George and I left? When you were in fifth year?"
Hermione shook her head. "There were a lot of days before you left..." She said softly.
"The day I taught you to play chess."
Hermione nodded. "Oh, sure I remember that."
"Well, do you remember what I told you? While we were playing?"
"That I was a better opponent than Harry?" She offered, not realizing her sarcastic remarks were making Fred more nervous.
"No. I told you that it was the most fun I had ever had with a girl. The thing is Hermione... the thing is... I meant it."
It was out, finally. Now Fred could release the breathe he hadn't known he'd been holding.
But the moment was cut short when Harry swung the door open, wand at the ready.
"Wh-where is h-he?" He panted.
"Who?" They both asked at the same time.
"I-I had to fi-fight Bill and G-George, and i-it was probably just a j-joke?" Harry asked.
"Yeah," Hermione answered.
Harry looked like he was going to explode. Suddenly, Bill was standing behind him, wand at the ready.
"Here's Johnny!" He screamed as a blue spark flew from his wand, hitting Harry with such force it knocked him to the ground.
When Harry stood up, he was no longer 'Harry.'
He... erm... she... eh... it seemed to notice immediately and started crying.
Hermione rushed out of the room quickly. Fred quite possibly could have meant that she was a good friend. Who was a girl. Not to be confused with a girlfriend, or a girl he even had interest in.
She was thinking about this, as she ran into something hard. She let out a shriek.
"You stupid, sniveling, overgrown hamster!"
"I can't deal with you right now! Please just go back to your cage!" She wailed.
"HE IS A WATCH PIXIE!" A voice behind Hermione boomed. She rolled her eyes.
"Just get it back in its cage, Ron," she demanded.
"What good would a cage do? Then it couldn't do its job." He told her as he pulled his wand out. He muttered something, and the pixie seemed to float away without bothering anyone.
"How did you do that! You know, that would have been useful to KNOW before that-that-that THING dropped me on your brother!"
"Hermione? I have several brothers. You need to clarify."
"ARGH!" Hermione screamed out of frustration, Ron jumped at the sudden loud sound.
"Um...that didn't help..."
"Ah! All of you Weasley boys are... are... INFURIATING! First you invite me for the summer, only to blow me off to hang out with Harry. With Ginny also dating said Harry, I am left to either a. hang out by myself, or b. hang out with the twins. Let me tell you neither are very appealing options. Then, when I do decide to do something, I try and make myself look nice and presentable to maybe go out somewhere, and Fred walks in on me while I am in my towel! Unfortunately, due to some freak accident in Ginny's room, I am forced to traipse around in my towel in front of your brother..."
Unfortunately for Ron, he had been tuning Hermione out since the moment she had said "all you Weasley boys" (That usually meant she was about to insult him), and only started paying attention when she used "towel" and "brother" in the same sentence.
"Wait. What? Towel? Bathroom? Accident? Which brother!" Ron yelled.
Hermione glared at him. "Well, if you were PAYING ATTENTION, you would KNOW, WOULDN'T you!" And with a huff, she
Ron rolled his eyes and followed the path that the watch pixie had followed earlier in their conversation.
Hermione, however, was not going to calm down as easily. She stormed off in the direction she figured a certain twin would have gone to. She knocked on the bathroom door, and, not to Hermione's surprise, Fred walked out.
"How much do you think you have to live for?" Hermione asked darkly.
"If I get more kisses like earlier, I'd say quite a lot." He answered.
Hermione rolled her eyes. "I don't know why you are trying to make me out to be a fool. Why are you trying to make me feel like an idiot?"
Fred's face suddenly grew hot. "Why? Do you feel like a fool for kissing me?"
Hermione rolled her eyes again. "Because you are trying to get me to fall into your little trap, so then you can rub it in my face that you were able to play a joke on me. Well, I have news for you. Number one, the joke isn't that funny. Number two, I'd never be stupid enough to fall for it."
"Oh yes, I forgot, I am dealing with an insufferable know-it-all! She knows everything!" Fred screamed. "Even what I feel!" He didn't wait for a reply and walked away angrily.
Hermione looked after him in awe. What had caused that sudden outburst? She chase after him.
"Fred? Fred!"
"Just stop Hermione!" He screamed without looking at her. They were now nearing the twin's room, and Hermione was about to say more when Fred went as quickly as possible into his room and slammed the door in her face.
George, who had still been taking care of the damage in Ginny's room, had heard the commotion and came out in to the hallway.
Hermione was, for the third time that day, holding back tears.
"What's wrong Hermione?"
What happened next was a big surprise, even to Hermione.
The usually self-controlled Hermione attacked George. The second she started for him, he ran down the hall, away from her, screaming. They soon ended up in the kitchen, where Harrietta was still crying.
Soon, it was utter chaos. Snuggles seemed to like the trouble, because he came into the room and started breaking dishes.
So, it was well into the night, and there was chaos in the Weasley's kitchen.Harrietta crying her... his... its head off, George running around the kitchen table with Hermione on his tail, and then there was a over-sized pixie breaking dishes. A great way to end a night.
Hey guys! It's Monica writing the note again! Thank so much for your reviews! I'd do reviewer responses, but I wanted to get this chapter up as soon as possible. Why? Well, my co-author, Leii, is starting an extra credit project where she can't use the computer until the end of the school year. This makes it difficult to write new chapters, since weboth need to be on. Currently, we have four chapters written, including the ones posted. We are trying to start chapter 5, but we haven't really had time. I don't know how fast updates will be now because of that... But, anyway, thanks to everyone who reviewed! I promise to do responses in the next chapter.
Love,
Monica and Leii