Chapter 3- You must really like Heavy Objects
Unfortunately for George, Hermione eventually took Harrietta's wand, after running around the table at least fifty times, and hexed him. What she used was a mystery to everyone but Hermione, who refused to say what it was.
George could be heard moaning from his room about how Hermione had disfigured him. This put Fred in an awkward position. He needed to stay at the house since his parents were out of town, but he couldn't stay in his room with all of George's whining.
"Oh, shut up, will you!" Fred finally screamed. "Of all the pranks we've pulled on people, one would think you'd have a better sense of humor!"
George glared at him, or Fred thought, it was hard to tell with George's face disfigured like that. "Well, we never sent someone backwards on the evolution line, now, have we?"
Fred sighed exasperated. "I can't DEAL with this right now! Do you know why she flipped out? Do you!"
George cringed at Fred's loudness. "Cause you're an ass?" He asked, giving Fred an unsure grin. But Fred couldn't see the grin anyway, George being disfigured and all.
"No. Well, yes. Well, sort of. You see... we got in an argument. I sort of kissed her-"
"She's pissed at you for kissing her!"
"That's part of it..." Fred answered.
George laughed. "Are you really that horrible of a kisser?"
"No. Well, yes. Maybe. I don't know! After we kissed, Harry ran into the room and ruined everything. When we tried talking about it, she told me not to make a fool of her. It wasn't funny. We got into an argument, and I called her an insufferable know-it-all. Then I just walked away. She called me, but I told her to go away..."
"AND THAT'S WHY SHE TRIED TO CRIPPLE ME! BECAUSE YOU'RE AN RUDE AND HELPLESS PRAT!" George screamed.
"I don't know WHY she went after you! YOU must have offended her!"
"I didn't do anything!" He told Fred. "She went after me because we are twins. We look alike if you haven't noticed!"
Fred tried to pretend his astonishment. "Oh my GOD! Really! I never noticed." He rolled his eyes.
George glared at him. Not that Fred could tell of course, because of George's squished up face.
"So should I go talk to her?"
George now rolled his barely visible eyes. "If you want us to be identical again."
"Then what should I DO!"
"I DON'T KNOW!"
"You," Fred said, "are absolutely no help."
"Yeah?" George asked. "You figured this out, when?"
"Don't be a smart ass. I don't know what to do."
"And I should know how?"
"I don't know!" Fred answered, "You're the smart one!"
George grinned, but with his defaced face (no pun intended...) it only made him look creepy.
"Glad you admit it. And honestly, I have no idea. You figure it out."
Fred glared at him one more time. "See? No help at all. I don't care what she does to me. I am going to go talk to her." And he walked out of the room.
But, when he arrived at Hermione's room, no one was there. He walked down to the kitchen, and found her. She was sitting at the table with the still wailing Harrietta. But now, they both seemed to be crying.
"Oh, hun-" Harrietta said in her high pitched voice. She... he... it realized how squealy their voice sounded and lowered it. "Hermione, that's awful! Men are just rats!" As if realizing what she... he... it... had said, Harrietta shook their head furiously. "I mean Fred is a rat. Not all men are rats. Especially not that wonderful Potter fellow."
"You realize that you are that wonderful Potter fellow, right?" Hermione asked, wiping away the tears.
"Yes, of course I do. Just because I'm currently a women doesn't mean I lost my memory!"
"Erm... Harry? I mean... Harrietta? You kind of sound like you are... comfortable... you know, with the whole girl thing..."
Harrietta shrieked. "I am NOT! I am just waiting for it to wear off!"
Fred figured it would be good to step out now. He drew his wand, and approached them slowly.
"I'll change you back again." He said to Harrietta.
Hermione sat completely still, while Harrietta ignored Fred all together.
"So, Hermione..." Harrietta said.
Fred realized they weren't about to talk to him, so he simply turned Harrietta back to Harry, and left the room.
Well, I guess I should say almost left the room. He stopped himself.
"You do realize that was George that you attacked and George you deformed? If you fix him, you can throw anything you want at me."
Hermione grew warm and stood up, she ran past Fred quickly and up the stairs. Fred tried to follow, but by the time he got up the stairs, Hermione was already leaving his room. His first instinct was to stand and take it like a man,
However, his second instinct, running as fast as his legs would take him, took over.
That is, until Hermione caught him.
"I believe you made a promise."
"I never used the exact word 'promise'." He said.
He sighed. "I promise that if you talk to me, when we are done you can throw something at my head. Agreed?"
Fred hadn't noticed Hermione already had something very heavy looking in her hand, which she raised above her head.
"Let's skip the first part and go straight to the part where I throw things at you."
"How about no? Why can't we talk about this rationally?"
Hermione lowered her hands. "Because you were a jerk."
Then added, "And I've gone crazy lately. If I was self-controlled Hermione, I would be sitting down right now, but, because I am not self-controlled Hermione today, you'd better start running."
Fred, instead of taking his chances with running, yelled to George, "Since I assume she's fixed your face, watch out for the house!" Quickly, he apparated out. He went to his secret spot.
"ARGH!" Hermione screamed, then turned to George. "WHERE did he go?"
George cowered. "I don't know. Really I don't. I swear. Just please don't hurt me!"
Fred wasn't worried about being hurt, but he was worried he had hurt Hermione.
Maybe I should have just let her hit me; it would have made things so much easier. He thought as he sat down on a stiff back chair. Maybe I should just go back...
But if she had taken her frustrations out on George... let's just say he was in for death-by-twin...
Little did Fred know that he had just made Hermione's day. Now she didn't have to deal with him- wonderful!
The whole group, Hermione, Harry, Ron, Ginny, and George, were sitting in Ron's room. Hermione and Harry were continuing their earlier conversation, while Ron and George were talking to Ginny and glaring at Harry.
"Nah." Fred decided to himself. "George can handle himself."
So, sitting on the stiff-back chair, waiting until he thought the coast was clear, Fred started humming a song. He couldn't really remember the lyrics, only that the words 'Beverly Hills' were involved. So, he started humming this song, and the time flew by. Before he knew it he had fall asleep, and was woken by a creak in the floorboard somewhere within the room he was in.
He quickly spun around. "What the-" He nodded. "George."
"You think your brother is really trustable?" Hermione was standing behind George. "I mean, I understand that you Apparated to throw me off, but to the basement? All I had to do was follow him down here and—oh my God is that hamster behind you sleeping!"
George squealed. Not a squeal of terror, like Hermione's would have been, but a squeal of joy. "There you are Snuggles!" He turned to Hermione. "And it's a WATCH PIXIE!"
Hermione rolled her eyes as George ran of to play with the hamster. She was left alone with Fred.
He shifted uncomfortably and waited for the first object to be thrown. He was surprised to find the object hit him in the cheek, and softly too...
He opened his eyes, it wasn't an object, it was Hermione! She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him.
"I'm self controlled Hermione now,"
"Well... er... can we talk then?"
She pulled away from him. "Of course."
She conjured another chair as Fred sat down in his, except her's was much more comfortable.
"You first," He said.
"I think me refraining from hitting you with large objects gives me an automatic choice in this matter," she said, "Which means you go first."
"Well, what do you want to know?" He asked, even though he knew.
"Everything," she answered.
"Um," Fred started oh-so-intelligently. "I think it would be better if you were more specific. Because, you know, if you aren't it may take weeks to find out what you really wanted to know."
Hermione looked like she was about to blow-up again, but she was being self-controlled at the moment. "I meant about what happened earlier."
"Well, me and George had just finished our newest product, the Hair Curler. You see, the thing spurts out such bad jokes it could make your hair curl. Which it does. Literally. Anyway, we decided to test it on Ginny. Needless to say, something went wrong and it exploded. Unfortunately, in the curling process, something happened to Ginny's face. But she was able to magic it off quickly. So no harm, no foul. And that is what happened earlier." He smiled sweetly, knowing perfectly well that that hadn't been the happening she had been talking about.
"Not that that wasn't...interesting to know," she said, "You and I both know that is not what I was talking about."
"Hmmm... than you must be referring to how I so dashingly turned Harrietta back into Harry. Twice, and you are obviously wondering how I did it,"
"Actually, I was wondering how it felt when I kneed you earlier." Hermione smirked.
"Erm... not very good."
"Good, because if you don't get to the point, I will do it again."
"Okay, fine, earlier I wasn't ly-AH!" Fred was lifted off him chair, thanks to the watch pixie. "Snuggles! George, what are you doing?"
Hermione was doubled over with laughter; she had seen George talking to Snuggles.
"He's EATING ME!" Fred screamed. Suddenly, Snuggles tore Fred's already ripped shirt off of him and tossed it into his mouth.
"Correction, he's eating your shirt." George said.
"What I want to know is why you insist on getting Snuggles high? There is something wrong with you!"
"He isn't high, thank you very much."
Hermione giggled, but then attempted to pull herself together. "Erm, George? Could you, I dunno... take that thing back to its cage? Fred and I were having a conversation..."
"No can do," George said. "It's Fred's night to watch Snuggles."
Fred immediately protested. "IS NOT!"
Fred pulled his brother aside and whispered urgently, "Come on, please? Don't you want me to fix things between me and Hermione?"
"Not right this very moment, bro," George said, he looked down at his watch. "I have a date, starting now!" He Apparated before Fred could stop him.
"Hermione, I'm sorry. Lemme wrestle this thing up to her cage and then we can finish talking? I know you don't like Snuggles very much, but I need to hear what you have to say."
Hermione shrugged. She was a little busy looking at Fred's chest anyway.
Fred noticed. "See something you like?"
Hermione looked up quickly. "Huh?"
Fred laughed and went back to getting Snuggles in a cage. He must have realized something, because he pulled out his wand, muttered something, and Snuggles disappeared.
"What did you do?"
"I sent him to his cage." Fred answered.
"Oh. Well. Finish what you were going to say."
"What are you talking about?" He asked innocently.
"You said, and I quote, "I wasn't ly-AH!"" Hermione squealed, imitating Fred. "You weren't what?"
"I wasn't...erm..."
"Out with it. And remember, I can tell when you lie."
Fred ran his hand through his hair. "I was going to say that I wasn't lying when I told you that..." Fred paused. He decided it would be better to have her mad at him than to have her laugh at him. "That..." he cringed."You were an insufferable know-it-all."
He knew her self-control would leave right then and there. She pulled out her wand before he could react, and he flew against the wall. He figured he just laid there, maybe she would leave.
Again, his second instinct got hold of him, and he was dashing out of the basement stupidly leaving Hermione with many large objects. Which he knew she was going to grab.
As he left the kitchen and headed up the stairs for his own room, he heard her following fast.
He arrived at the top of the stairs to be hit with a large metal goblet.
He quickly headed for the nearest door. It happened to be Ginny's. He groped for the doorknob, it being dark, but he couldn't find it. Just as he found it, something large struck his hand, and he turned to see Hermione at the top of the stairs.
If it were really possible, Hermione would be spewing lava by now. All the objects in her hand flew towards him, the softest being a rubber duck, the hardest a glass plate, which shattered on the floor.
"I said I'm willing to tell the truth." She looked at him confused. "Sit down please."
"Okay..." She said slowly, making her way to the bed.
"Owww!" A new voice yelped.
"Lumos!" Hermione yelled.
There, lying on the bed, were Harry and Ginny.
"You," Fred seethed at the two of them, "are so dead."
Harry immediately jumped off the bed.
"We were just talking, honestly!" Harry said. "I would never touch-Oh MY GOD!"
And that was why Harrietta returned again, for a third time that day.
"I regret doing that," Fred said.
"Why?" Hermione asked.
"I should have kicked him around then turned him into a girl." He answered, "I am a gentleman, and a gentleman never hits a lady."
"But, technically, Harrietta isn't really a girl." Hermione told him.
"Actually, the spell makes Harry a girl," he told her, "in everyway."
"We were just talking!" Harrietta whined.
"In the dark?" Fred glared.
"Well...erm...yes...no! I mean..."
"Just shut up Harrietta!" Hermione said, then she pushed Fred out of the room and closed the door behind her.
"Hermione! I just caught them in bed together! I need to kick someone's ass!" Fred screamed.
"What if you and me just happened to start talking in your room, lights out, and we decided to get more comfortable?" Hermione asked. "And then Harry and Ron walk in, what would you do?"
"Are you proposing something?" Fred grinned mischievously. "There is no one in-"
"FRED! Answer the question!" Hermione demanded.
"Erm... run for my life?"
"No, you dolt. You would keep your mouth shut, hoping we weren't caught."
"And if we were caught...?"
"You would try to explain. Don't beat Harry... Harrietta up. Go change him back, and then I will listen to you. No heavy objects, I promise."
Fred sighed. "You realize that the second it is Harry again, I will lose all self-control?"
"You must really love heavy objects,"
"Okay, if you promise no heavy objects and you..." Fred looked embarrassed. "You may want to... I dunno, hold my hand or something, so I'm not tempted to... you know, jump on Harry or anything..."
Hermione smiled and took his hand in hers. "If you insist so forcefully..."
"Now go." Fred pouted, but did as she said. He walked into the room, where Harrietta was currently sobbing. He muttered something, and Harrietta was once again Harry. Fred's eye twitched, but Hermione squeezed his hand tight.
Harry looked at them, then at Ginny, then at them again. This went on until Fred said, "Stop looking at me like that!"
"But you just...and Ginny and me...ARGH!" Harry sat on the bed and put his head in his hands.
"First, we aren't going out; second, we aren't in a bed." Fred busted.
They all stared at him confused.
"Me and Hermione I mean."
Ginny looked at him like he was insane. "No one was accusing you of anything."
Harry coughed. Ginny nudged him in the ribs. Suddenly, Hermione's eyes got wide with realization. "No, no, no. Fred and I weren't doing anything like that. In fact, before we found you two, I was planning on knocking him into a coma." She was, by now, bright red. "Come on Fred." She said, and pulled him out the door.
The second the door closed behind Hermione, they could hear a fit of laughter coming from the room.
/3/
Hey everyone! Sorry we haven't updated. Leii is still doing that project, and me? I've just been busy… you know, getting my heart broken and the like. Anyway. As
promised, review responses!
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SilentConfession- You really thought it was that funny? Thanks! Harrietta is funny, isn't he/she/it? Lol! He/She/It made an appearance in this chapter :D
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