Disclaimer: I don't own the show, if I did Munch would have more air time.
Title: Is It That Bad?
Author: Me, Night Essence
Rating: PG-13 for suicide thoughts
Summary: Munch has some dark thoughts.
John Munch wasn't all sarcasm and conspiracy theories. Contrary to what Elliot liked to believe, the cases did hit him. No one noticed, but after some of the more brutal cases he tended to be distant. And it wasn't because he didn't care, it was because he did.
Munch entered his apartment and shut the door. He locked it behind him and made his way into the kitchen. Sighing he threw his coat onto a kitchen chair. Carefully he removed his badge and gun and set them on the table. Munch sat in the chair his jacket was draped over and rested his elbows on the table. He stared at his gun and wondered. Was it really that bad? Was it so bad that he hardly slept anymore? Was is really so bad that the nightmares ate at him, day and night? Was it so bad that almost every night he came home and stared at his gun? Is it so bad that he's thought of pulling the trigger more than once?
Because, yes, he has thought about it. Just one bullet would wipe away all the case pictures. One bullet would spare him all the gory details and the victims' sad faces. But it wouldn't spare the victims. And that's why he was in SVU, right? Because he wanted to spare them the pain of not knowing. 'So it was bad,' Munch thought to himself, 'It was bad that he would be selfish enough to deny them the right of knowing.' With that final thought Munch stood and went to his room. Maybe tonight he'd sleep, maybe the nightmares would stay at bay. And maybe tomorrow he wouldn't need to stare at his gun and wonder if he should pull the trigger.
Okay, let me explain. Munch is my favorite character and I would be shattered if he killed himself. I just watched the episode where Cassidy left because he couldn't handle the drama, and I wondered how everyone else handled the cases. Anyway, my best friend Liviafan1 writes SVU stories, so if your disappointed with mine, go read hers, they're really good. Please review and be gentle, it's my first SVU fic.