Alright, I might as well upload this chapter since you don't really need chapter 4 to understand how it ends… I wrote this before I wrote chapter 4.

I deeply apologize for taking soooo long to update, since I became interested in other things and life just got a bit complicated due to the fact I am in university now.

This IS the VERY LAST CHAPTER. Hope you enjoyed my fic so far and will enjoy this chapter. Please support more of my other fics in the future

Following in Your Footsteps

By Halcyon Clouds (A.K.A. Sal)

Intro: (Last time on Following: We peek into the thoughts of Akira and Hikaru. Akira forgave Hikaru, but Hikaru slips further into agony…)

Blows horns THIS IS THE END END END! Be warned that this chapter will contain a lot of dialogue and is heart-rending.

Disclaimer: Blah. Blah. Blah. You know the words.

Chapter 5 -- Following in Your Footsteps (you SO unexpected that title, heh.)

Hikaru's eyes darkened and glazed over. He turned his head back to the ground, hair hiding his face and expression, fingers tightened on the chain.

"What do you want?" He asked in a cold voice.

Akira shifted his feet, not knowing where to start. He wasn't even sure whether the person in front of him had the right mind to listen at all. It was as if an invisible barrier had formed around Shindo, he was blind, deaf, and unfeeling towards what was around him. There was a moment -- a long moment -- of deathly silence between them, before Akira decided that it was time, and no later should it be, to start saying something.

"Shindo…listen, erm…" He commenced, having an awkward feeling as if he was talking to an inanimate object. "I came to apologise…and to tell you something."

A small, slightly hysterical laugh came from the boy sitting on the swing. Akira felt a freezing chill in the pit of his stomach, he had never heard anything sound so agonizing in his life, it wasn't the least bit funny.

"What is there to apologise for? To be sorry that I killed my own brother?" Hikaru's voice was dangerously calm, as if pain and other sentiments can no longer hurt him, he had been through the limit of harm they can do.

"No! You didn't kill him!" Akira strived to explain, but didn't find his own voice convincing at all. "It was an accident! It wasn't anyone's fault!"

The other boy didn't respond, he simply stared at the ground, or more likely, nothing at all.

Akira suddenly felt helpless, helpless against someone who had been wounded by the past, then wounded in the present by the most uncomprehending action, not to mention the Son of Meijin executed the action himself. If everything he did was to have no effect whatsoever, wouldn't it be better to give up?

No. Akira thought firmly. No, no, I have to try…this is for Shindo Sai, not myself…and I do owe him an apology.

He had to try, he was afraid, afraid at what people can do to prevent themselves from getting wounded in the future…

"Look, you have to listen to me!" He shouted to the immobile figure on the swing, desperate, "I'm sorry for walking away like that, it was just too much to handle at the time…I--I don't think it's your fault that Shindo Sai died. But--" He stopped abruptly, not knowing what to say next.

"But what? I've got to live with the fact that I was the cause of his death, and touch his favourite game with my own hands?" Said the indifferent voice from beneath blonde bangs.

"Well…yes. But, no!" Akira stuttered for the right words, "He wanted you to play Go! Because Go was what he lived for! And, and he want you to play…too…"

It was followed by another short laugh, Akira felt his insides lurch. Well, at least he's listening…that's a good sign.

"Ha, let's see him think that when I was the one who took it all away." There was a certain amount of menace and sarcasm newly present in the reply, almost stinging in the warm air.

"How many times do I have to tell you that YOU--DID--NOT--KILL--SHINDO SAI!" Akira frustratingly grabbed a chain of the swing and shook it hard. His voice escalating to a frantic scream. Kami, tell me, how the hell can I get that message through him? "STOP BLAMING YOURSELF FOR SOMETHING YOU DIDN'T DO! NO ONE'S BLAMING YOU, DAMN IT!"

Hikaru simply sat there, allowing himself to be jerked around, but made no move to reply. His head remain bowed to the earth.

Akira panted from the effort, something inside him just wanted to give up and leave this hopeless soul to fend for itself. But he inwardly felt ashamed at such a thought. This IS my business, I've got to help him.

"No one's blaming you." He repeated, striving to keep his voice calm and patient. "I've talked to your mother, all she wants is for you to be home safely every night. She doesn't want you to feel guilty…"

"Her favourite son was Sai, he died because of me. How can you tell me she doesn't?" Hikaru's voice trembled slightly, but Akira did not fail to catch the sharp reference to himself in the sentence. He sighed. It was true, being the outsider, he doesn't understand at all. At the same time he tried hard to suppress the urge to use physical force and knock some sense into the other boy's head.

"You think people haven't tried to talk to me before?" Hikaru spoke again, his tone still edged with a biting accent. "Why I don't play Go? Why I don't become a goddamn prodigy and all that crap!" His voice became louder, bitter and bottled up with anger, "They want me to play that, that game because they think I can be famous like my brother! All anyone ever want from me is Sai Sai Sai! And what can I say to it? As if I really do want to spread that, oh, insignificant piece of information about how he died to all four corners of the earth!"

Akira was taken aback by this sudden outburst of emotion, but he understood. He had felt that sort of pressure on himself, people hoping he'd inherit the Meijin from his father, to dominate the Go world like his father, and numerous times referring him as 'The Son of Touya Meijin' as if he didn't know his own name. It wasn't easy, living under the shadow of a greater being…

"I know…it's harsh, what people do. I get the same sort of things, on behalf of my father. But I guess for you it's much worse…"

"You kinda get used to it after eight years, whether you like it or not, don't you? You haven't heard what people who do know the truth say about me…don't ask."

"I wasn't going to."

"So," The mocking attitude returned at an alarming level, "You're a prodigy yourself. Your Dad's the Meijin. My brother must be the perfect rival for you, but too bad he's dead, so you're after me. Well, I'm telling you now, you're wasting your time."

Akira felt as if someone had slapped him across the face. Being the one on the receiving end of snide comments was not uncommon, especially amongst people of the same generation. They always talked behind their backs, but made sure it was loud enough for him to hear. Yet this…this just felt degrading to an extent yet to be measured. He clenched his teeth and shook.

"What are you talking about! Look, this is not the reason I came to find you for! If you really need to release your anger on something, at least have the courtesy not to do it on someone who's trying to help you!"

"Help me, yeah right."

"I just can't convince you like this, can I?" Akira, finally deciding against the impulse to ditch this person who wasn't understanding nor seeking to be understood, sank into the swing next to the occupied one, grateful to give his legs some rest. "But, please, just listen to me. What I'm going to tell you is import…are you listening!"

No response.

"I'm trying to help you!" The green-haired boy raised his voice yet again, "If you keep shutting yourself away nothing's ever going to be okay!"

"What are you helping me for? To become a Go prodigy like yourself?"

"No, that's not the point!"

"Then tell me, what is your point!"

Akira fought to control the very strong will now of hurtling insults back, then getting up and leaving Hikaru to deal with his own problems. Whatever he said, Shindo was just not registering it into his head. Why must he be so damn stubborn?

"Just…listen, okay? I'll get to my point!"

Hikaru dug his shoes into the ground, rocking the swing gently, as if to comfort himself. It made a high-pitched creaking sound that echoed through the empty park as the movement persisted. He was still not looking anywhere but the ground between his feet, feeling guilty of existing in this world. Darkness was looming over fast, the final rays of the setting sun cast over the trees and clouds, staining them with colours of red, orange, and gold. Akira thought he had never seen a person look so lonely and withdrawn.

"I'm listening."

Akira cleared his throat, and started on his own account.

"I met your brother, a long time ago. When I was five, I think."

Creak. Creak.

"He came over to our house to discuss games with my father's Kenkyuukai, that is, a discussion group."

Creak. Creak.

"He played a game against my father then. And I watched them play."

Creak. Creak.

"Do you have any idea at all of what a genius your brother is?"

Creak.

"Why do you ask?" Hikaru replied softly after a long pause.

"You really don't, do you?"

"I do now."

"But you didn't then? I did. I saw the person your brother was."

Creak. Creak.

"Your brother impressed me…I wish I could play the kind of Go he did…"

Creak. Creak.

"So…I challenged him after they finished the game."

Creak. Creak.

"He promised me that I could play him equally someday."

Hikaru's heart gave a painful tug.

"Me, too."

Akira turned his head. "What?"

"Sai promised me, too. That I can play against him…fair and square…I was five years old then but I still remember it like it was yesterday."

Touya Akira stared at Hikaru. That detail was never mentioned to him before…his mind went whirring into motion, fitting the scattered pieces of the puzzle together.

It can't be wrong now. So that was it, the subtle hint but the most important asset to the complete picture…

"He…mentioned you." Akira went on. Yes, it's all slipping into place…

The creaking sound beside him halted unexpectedly.

"He...m-mentioned me?" Hikaru asked with a small voice and a pitch higher than usual.

Knowing Hikaru was waiting for him to go on, Akira continued.

"He…said that you also knew how to play Go. And he thought…he thought that we would meet one day."

Akira sat back on his swing seat and let out a breath, that seemed to ease the tension in his chest. But there was more still to say.

"I've always found your brother incredible. Otou-san told me that Shindo Sai shone so brightly that he'd shame the brightest of stars in the sky. His life was for Go, he was never meant to do anything else. But then I thought, it must be lonely and tiresome to have no rival to play against, and to compete against, because no one can defeat him."

Yeah, if only I hadn't gone an done something stupid, Sai could still at least play Go!

"You know, Shindo, at first I too, thought you could be the alternative to who your brother was. But now I understand, about why he promised both of us that we could play him equally someday, and why he mentioned you in front of me. It's because," Akira recalled the memories of that day eight years ago, and found himself wanting to cry. It felt unfamiliar, a first in a very long while.

"He was sublime in the Go he plays, and he knew it. But any one out of the two of us can't measure up to him solely by ourselves, no one can improve without a competitor. He had said that we might meet one day, and he gave a promise to both of us…that's good enough for me, and I recognise you, Shindo Hikaru, as my rival. Because, it was Shindo Sai's promise that maintained it."

After a slight pause when both neither moved a muscle nor said anything, the green-haired boy smiled a little sadly to himself, after all, he needed some consoling as well.

"We were meant to be rivals, and to play Go, and to play like him someday, the both of us. That was what your brother wanted for you, he wanted you to share what he loved. I'm sure he wouldn't be happy seeing you like this from wherever he is now."

A couple of drops of silent tears fell onto Hikaru's lap. They made no sound, but left dark spots on his jeans. Night had fallen inconspicuously around them, sodium lamps guttered into light, illuminating their little swing-stand with an orange glow.

Sai, can I…can I play Go?

"Shindo Sai sacrificed his life, so you can keep yours." Akira kept going, tilting his head upwards towards the sky, empty except for the lone, bright moon. "If he lived to play Go, you should, too. Because the life you are living is supposed to be his. If you deny yourself to what he lived for, you're devaluing what he gave you in the first place, so," He took a long, wistful sigh, "Did that make sense?"

When the occupant on the other swing didn't reply. Akira turned to look at Hikaru.

The bangs still hid his face, but Akira could hear him sob quietly through the reedy call of crickets accompanied by many other voices of the night. Akira breathed a sigh of relief from within, and proceeded to say no more. Gazing up at the night sky once again, he felt reassured to find many twinkling little lights; the moon was no longer alone.

Is this what I've been trying to find?

All these years…all these years I wanted an answer, a path to walk.

Have I been denying myself a right to live, and denying what you gave me?

Go…what was it to you?

You lived to play Go, you loved it more than anything else.

You saved me from certain death, you gave me a second chance to live.

I owe you so much more than my life.

What can I do now? What can I do to repay you?

I will try my best.

I will play Go. I want to play Go. I want to play like you.

Are you listening?

Sai?

Someday, I'll play you fair and square.

But before then…

I will follow in your footsteps.

"I think it's time to go home."

"…Uh."

"Your mother's waiting for you. You shouldn't let her worry."

"Touya…"

"Yes?"

"Thanks…for telling me."

"No problem. Want to come to my father's Go salon tomorrow?"

"…I'll see."

"I'll always be there in case you want to come."

They turned to different directions at a crossroad, and bid each other good night. Hikaru wiped the last tear stains away with a sleeve, then, with newly discovered confidence in himself, made his way down the path, back home.

The bright orb sprinkled its mellow silver light over the hushed darkness. It was full moon that night. The circle was complete, unblemished, like a promise fulfilled…

Owari

A/N: Pops champagne cork This fic is finally done! I'm throwing a party now, because I can finally sleep well at night without miming Akira-Hikaru fights and the dialogue for the thousandth time! Yippee! This is what you call liberation, man. But during the writing of this fic I had to wince many times at the pain Hikaru is feeling, or rather, I gave to him. I need to punish myself later on for it. But I am grateful to Akira for eternity in this chapter!

Now with my freedom, I decide to shut myself back in the cage. I want to write a sequel, but a bit dry on ideas at the moment…anyone willing to help? Also, poke me if you want me to update any of my other fics.

Finally, if you have parts that you still do not understand, feel free to leave questions in your reviews and I'll email you! So anon reviewers, please leave your email address so I can get back at you guys and give out some decent thank-yous

Anyhow..I guess…I should be working on my other A/U ne? (HnG Fantasy remix, ID:1584117)

Hikaru: wipes face Pheew! It's done! It's really not me, acting all sentimental and stuff.

Sal: hands him glass of champagne Relax! I won't be writing about you being sad for a looong while to come.

Hikaru: Sorry, I'm underage.

Sal: I'm underage too, but who the hell gives?

Hikaru: Errr… inches away from Sal

Sal: Hmm, where is everyone else? There seems to be a dire absence of pretty bishounen. Touya Akira!

Akira: Who called? Oh, yeah, the end-of-fic celebration. Woohoo.

Sal: Champagne?

Akira: What's that?

Hikaru: It's a type of alcoholic drink, duh.

Akira: Oh, uh, I'm not allowed.

Sal: You people are such whimsies. I suppose Sai shouldn't be underage then. Saaai!

Hikaru: S-s-aai…? Sai's coming? Where is he?

Akira: SAI? Shindo! So you DO know him!

Hikaru: Oh shit. Erm, I said nothing… takes off at a sprint

Akira: WHERE is he! WHO is he! SHINDOOO! chases after Hikaru down the road

Sal: Oh no, big mistake. runs off to sip champagne by herself Well, hope they, er, can forget that. Anyways, thanks so much for reading Following in You Footsteps! I'll see you soon when I think of something else to write! And ter quote Hikago, "zutto ko no michi wo aruku! (that how you say it? Never mind.)" Jaa!

Cheers! It's all over!

I will walk this path forever! (Be afraid, be very afraid. But then I might not)

--

Sal