Authors note: No, I have not forgotten this! YAY! In light of the Christmas season, I am spoofing some Christmas songs. First of several! Please note references to The Exorsist (which I do not own) and various other things.
Jingle Bells
Tis the first Yule time after the destruction of the Ring, and the hobbits have had one too many pints...
Jingle Bells
Gollum Smells
Sauron wants his Ring
The ents have taken Isengard
And all the orcs can't sing
Ooh!
Jingle Bells
Human's smell
Gollum wants the Ring
The elves are leaving on Grey Ships
And Pippin sure can sing!
--
Frodo is on a trek
To destroy the one Ring
While smelly Aragorn
Is trying to become King
He's in a love triangle
With Eowyn and Arwen
And if he's caught then he shall be
One dead ranger-man
--
Oooh!
Jingle Bells
Mordor smells
Denethor's crazy!
Gimli's getting sea-sick
And Legolas hears the sea
Ooh!
Jingle Bells
Sauron smells
Gimli's breath is bad
Denethor hates Faramir
And that makes his son sad.
--
The Witch-king thinks he's won
But Eowyn's no man
Sam's tired of Lembas
Nob is a hired hand
Elrond's brows are scary
And Haldir is not dead
Galadriel is turning blue
Now watch her spinning head!
--
Ooh!
Jingle Bells
Gimli smells
Celeborn talks weird
Hobbitses have hairy feet
And dwarf women have beards
Oh!
Jingle Bells
Bilbo smells
Yes those trolls are stone
Butterbur forgot again
And Bag end row is Home!
And the four hobbits took a bow.