A/N: You all are wonderful. Your reviews really inspire me to continue with this. As I said before, I'm not new to writing for RENT, but it has been awhile. You guys are great, thank you so much for the encouragement. With that said, this story will be moving along. I know I promised to get this part out sooner, but I've been having some problems writing it. I know exactly where I want this story to go, almost all the way to the end, but with my second college semester starting, it's been difficult to find the motivation to get this moving along. After the next chapter, things will be moving along at a faster pace. Thanks for being so patient.
Julie hugged Roger again. "You have no idea how happy I am that you're here. It's been crazy. Everyone is driving me crazy, and you were always the sane one." She pulled a crumpled tissue out of her jean pocket and wiped her eyes with it. "God, I can't believe it's really you. You look so different."
Roger grinned, arm still wrapped around Julie's shoulders. "So do you, kiddo. You grew up."
She nodded at this and rested her head against his chest as he led her to the couch. "How are you?"
"How am I?" He handed her another fresh tissue from the box on the coffee table. "I'm more worried about you. How are you?"
Julie shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. One minute I'm bawling my eyes out, the next I'm angry at Jimmy, the next it's as if it hasn't even hit me that Mom's gone. And I think that's what scares me the most. All day I've been expecting her to just walk in the door, or call. When I saw her at the hospital I couldn't even believe it was her. She was fine this morning when I left for school."
"Had she been feeling sick or anything?"
"No. All she really complained about what that she had a migraine, because she's been getting them a lot lately, but the doctor said it was just from stress at work. I got called down to the counseling office around ten, and Jimmy and Lindsay were there waiting for me. All we knew was that Mom had collapsed at work and she was at the hospital. When we got there, the doctors were trying to get her heart beating again and took her up to surgery. They told us she had an aneurysm and half an hour into surgery, her heart stopped and…" Julie stopped and stared at the carpet. "That was it. They tried to get her back, but they couldn't."
Roger nodded, a lump forming in his throat. "You're home by yourself? Where is everyone else?"
"Jimmy's at the airport picking up Joey. Lindsay went to go pick up Marissa from a friend's."
"And they left you by yourself?" He was angered by this; if it would have been him, he would have made sure that Julie hadn't been left home by herself.
"It was okay, really. I fell asleep anyway and I wanted to be here when you got here. They should be back in a little while." She wiped at her eyes again and sighed, resting her head on Roger's shoulder. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."
"Okay, we won't. Pick a new topic. Anything you want," Roger reassured her.
"Tell me what you've been up to for the last couple of years."
It was an easy question, for anybody else. But for Roger, it was incredibly complicated. How could he honestly tell his little sister what really had gone on with him over the years without upsetting her even more? Drugs. Music. April. Suicide. "We've got AIDS". Withdrawal. Rehab. Mark. Mimi. Collins. Angel. Santa Fe. "Your Eyes…". He sighed. For now, he'd have to stick with the short, filtered version of his life. He'd have to lie to protect her until eventually he could bring himself to tell her, but that day wasn't today and he wasn't sure when it would be.
"I've uh, been around," he began. "Mark got a place in the East Village after he dropped out of Brown. A couple of our friends lived their at first, but they eventually moved out and got places of their own. Right now it's just me, him, and my girlfriend Mimi. We're working on getting the place fixed up right now. It was pretty run down when Mark first got it and in a lot of ways it still is. But it's cheap and we've got a roof over our heads so I can't complain too much. Other than that I've been working on some music with my old band and working part time as a bartender." There it was, a lie. Short but sweet.
"You've got a girlfriend?" Julie pressed, as if it was hard to believe.
Roger laughed at her reaction. "Am I that hideous that I can't get a girl?" he teased her. "I'm glad you have such high standards set for me."
"Oh no, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that," she apologized quickly, resting her head back against the couch pillows. "It's just that…it's been a long time. I'm trying to catch up."
"It's cool," he reassured her. "Yeah, we've been together for about a year and a half. She's going to be twenty-one in June. She's going back to school, to teach dance."
"Do you have a picture of her?"
Roger paused for a moment and dug out his wallet out of his back pocket. "Actually, yeah. Here." He handed the black and white Polaroid that he had forgotten he had even had to Julie. "That was taken last year."He remembered this picture well. It had been taken after they had all caused such an uproar at the Life Café; when he had finally allowed himself to show his feelings towards Mimi. They had been nestled at a back table, Mimi's head on his shoulder, his arm wrapped around her body.
"She's gorgeous. Is she Spanish?"
"Half Cuban, half Italian. She's actually going to come up for the wake and funeral with Mark."
Julie nodded, handing back the picture to Roger. "How is Mark?"
"Mark's, well, Mark. His longtime girlfriend left him for another woman and I don't think he's really recovered since. I mean, he dates, but he never really lets himself get too attached. I wish he'd settle down with someone though. I feel bad sometimes, that I have Mimj and he doesn't really have anyone on the same level. But he's still filming. His first documentary won a couple of awards, and the one he just finished now is having a screening this Monday."
"That's good. I see his sister sometimes at the supermarket." She paused and glanced towards the window, but when she came back to face him, Roger saw tears in her eyes. In a second she crumbled and they began streaming down her face as she struggled to grab the tissue box on the coffee table.
"Jules," Roger soothed, pulling her into his arms. "I promise you, everything is gonna work out. Who knows, maybe you'll even end up living with me? I mean, you graduate in a little over a month right? My door's always open."
"I miss Mom so much. She was always there for me when nobody else was. I haven't even see Dad in two years. Last year he didn't even send me a birthday card. But it was always Mom who put in all the time to make sure I was okay. Did she tell you that I got accepted to NYU on a scholarship? I just don't know what I want to do anymore. I don't even care if I graduate. I don't care, because she's not here. When she died, I stopped caring. I'm so angry. I'm so mad at everyone. Nobody gets it."
"Would it make you feel better if I said I'd try to "get it"?
"Yeah. No. I don't know."
Roger sighed in frustration, as he heard the front door open. Turning around to face the entryway, he came face to face with his older brother, the source of all his frustration; the epitome of the reason why he hadn't been home in years.
Jimmy's eyes moved over Roger's appearance briefly, and he gave him a curt nod. "Roger."