A/N: I do not own the Teen Titans. Trust me, you'd know if I did.
Chapter 8: Confessions
Beast Boy sat at the table in the fast food place rather nervously. He had asked Cyborg to get a bite with him, but he really needed to talk to him about a more serious issue. It had been three days since his argument with his mind and now he really needed some friendly advice. Cyborg walked over to the table with two large trays of food, and a large grin on his face.
"Alright, I've got at least two of everythin on the menu," he said sitting down. "And don't worry; I made sure that the veggie burgers were nothing but veggie." He handed Beast Boy his burgers and began to chow down. "So what did you want to talk about?" he asked with his mouth half full.
"Well, it's something kinda… important," said Beast Boy slowly unwrapping his burger. He really didn't have much of an appetite, but he knew Cyborg would.
"Well then spill it," said Cyborg swallowing.
Beast Boy suddenly felt butterflies in his stomach. Did he want to tell Cyborg? Maybe this wasn't that big of a deal. No, he had to tell him. He needed help. He took a big breath in and said, "I think I might like Raven."
"Well thank goodness," said Cyborg, not phased at all. "You two have been at each others throats for the last few years. It's about time you became friends again. I can understand why you might be confused though, I mean hating her one minute and then bein her friend again. It's gotta be confusin."
Beast Boy looked at him queerly. "What? No, that's not what I mean."
"Then what do you mean?" asked Cyborg starting to slurp through his straw.
"I mean I might… like her," he said, stressing the word.
Cyborg slowly stopped slurping and raised an eyebrow. Then it hit him like a ton of bricks and he nearly in hailed the straw as he gasped. He began to choke and the straw soon flew out and almost hit Beast Boy in the eye.
"WHAT!" he shouted.
"SSH!" Beast Boy hissed. "Keep it down!"
"You like Raven?" he said, not toning it down at all.
Beast Boy lunged across the table and covered Cyborg's mouth. "Would you shut up?" he said through his teeth. He slowly released Cyborg's mouth and sat back down in his seat. He laid his head down on the table and covered it with his hands.
"Okay," said Cyborg calming down. "I'll keep it down. It's just… wow! You like Raven?"
"I think I might," he said through the table.
"Are you sure?" Cyborg just couldn't believe this. "Raven? What would make you think that you like Raven?"
"I'm not sure," he said looking up. "I'm so confused. Every time I'm near her I can't help staring at her. It's like my eyes are drawn to her."
"Well, that doesn't mean you have a crush on her," said Cyborg trying to think of a more rational explanation. "You're still probably sufferin from that guilt about almost killin her."
"No, I'm over that," he said finally sitting up. "She helped me. I had a complete emotional breakdown and she made me feel better."
"An emotional breakdown?" asked Cyborg.
"Yeah, I kinda… started crying," he said feeling really embarrassed. "Well, that would be putting it mildly. I wept, Cy, I wept. I've never cried like that in my life."
"And… Raven helped you?" asked Cyborg very doubtfully.
"Yeah. She… hugged me," said Beast Boy, remember that cold day. "She held me in her arms and I cried into her chest. She told me that I had no reason to feel guilty. She was so… kind. Warm and kind."
"Wow, wish I coulda seen that," said Cyborg with a smile.
"If you tell anyone she's gonna kill me," said Beast Boy. "I'm not even sure I should be telling you."
"Hey, I'm ya best friend," he said reaching over and rubbing his shoulder reassuringly. "Ya don't have ta keep secrets from me."
"I know, it's all just so embarrassing," said Beast Boy rubbing his face.
"Not to mention confusin," said Cyborg scratching his head. He sighed and cleared his mind. "Okay, let's try and sort things out here. You think you're sweet on Raven, correct?"
"Yes," said Beast Boy, his eyes covered by his hands.
"Alright, reasons why you think you like her: you can't stop staring at her, she was nice to you in your time of need, anything else?"
"I dunno," said Beast Boy in a sigh. "Sometimes I get these odd feelings when I'm near her. Like my stomachs twisting around and my heart starts to race."
"Ah," said Cyborg with a smile. "Now that would be crush feelings."
Beast Boy gave a whiny noise and slammed his head back down onto the table. "How could this have happened?"
"You're askin the wrong cyborg. You gotta be askin yourself that."
"I have," he said sitting up again. "I keep trying to figure out what's going on; trying to find some other reason I would be feeling this way. I just… I don't want to feel this way about her. It's just too weird."
"No kiddin," said Cyborg.
"So what do you think I should do?"
"I really don't know, man," sighed Cyborg. "I mean, ya can't help feelin the way ya feel."
"Maybe it's just a phase," said Beast Boy optimistically. "Maybe if I just stay away from her and ignore what I'm feeling it will pass over. I mean, I've already been kinda doing that for the past three days. Think it'll work?"
"Maybe," said Cyborg. "But what if it doesn't?"
"I'll just have to hope it does." He gave Cyborg a weak smile and Cyborg gave him one back.
The two entered the common room and saw Robin and Starfire on the couch watching a movie. His arm was draped over her shoulder and they were close together. They turned and saw the robotic man and green changeling enter.
"There you two are," said Robin.
"Just went out for something to eat," said Cyborg.
"Beast Boy, Raven wishes to speak to you," said Starfire.
'SHIT!' he thought. "Why?" he asked in a nervous voice.
"I do not know," said Starfire. "She simply requested for us to tell you that she wishes to speak to you."
Beast Boy sighed a defeated sigh and made his way to Ravens room. Robin and Starfire weren't sure why he had suddenly become so low, but Cyborg knew.
He trudged down the hall and stopped in front of Ravens door. He knocked on her door and said, "Raven, it's Beast Boy. Starfire said you wanted to talk to me."
The door slide aside and revealed Raven sitting on her bed. "Come in," she said in her usual tone.
He sighed and went in. He was upset with her, now. Here he was trying to stay away from her and she was inviting him into her room. Why couldn't anything ever go the way he planned? "What?" he asked in an annoyed tone.
"Are you mad at me about something?" she asked plainly.
"No, why?" he asked in an irritated tone that made his comment sound like a lie.
"Because you sure seem to be," she said getting a little irritated with him as well. "You've been completely ignoring me these past few days and the other day I got these odd feelings through you."
'FUCK!' he thought. He always forgot that Raven could feel his emotions. Now he was really getting mad at her. "And so you think that there's something wrong with me?" He really couldn't think of what to say. "Maybe I just didn't feel like talking to you." God, that didn't come out right.
Raven just stared at him for a few seconds. At first she looked surprised, then a slight bit of hurt, but that gave way to sheer emotionless ness. "Well, that's all I wanted to know," she said in a monotone voice. "Please leave."
'Damn it!' he thought to himself. 'I made her feel bad again. Why the hell do I keep doing this?'
"I said please leave," she said again, a bit annoyed.
He hadn't even realized that he had just been standing there, looking at her blankly. But now that he did, he couldn't stop. Staring at her that is. She had picked up her book and began to read, but she was completely aware that he was still there. He studied her from the front now. Her hair was draped in front of her and nearly covered her face as she looked down at the book. Her eyes were half way closed and her face seemed relaxed. But it soon turned aggravated as she looked up at him again.
"Why do you keep doing that?" she asked upset.
"Sorry?" he asked, snapping out of his trance of her.
"Why do you keep staring at me, Beast Boy?" she asked almost yelling. "I can always feel your eyes on me. And then I get this flustered feeling coming off of you. Then there's a mix of confusion and anger and other various things I've never felt before. Now tell me why you have this need to fucking stare at me?"
"I don't know!" he blurted out. This was all too much for him. He was sick of all of these feelings. He was sick of being caught. He was sick of being so fucking confused! "I don't know why I keep staring at you. But something within me is drawing my eyes to you. And I know that that's not a good enough answer for you, but it's all I've got at the moment. And as for the feelings, I haven't a clue where those are coming from either."
Raven was taken quite aback by this. But she never led on that she was. She just stared at him with a plain face and listened to his words. When he was done he felt like he was too close to saying something he would probably regret. That he liked her. That he had a crush on her. He always seemed to have a tendency to put his foot in his mouth. So he just stood there for a few silent moments, looking at the floor.
"Beast Boy…" she started, but he didn't give her a chance to finish. He turned and almost ran out of her room. "Beast Boy!" she called after him but he couldn't go back. He had never felt so embarrassed in his whole life. This was worse than telling Cyborg that he had cried into Ravens chest. It was worse than Raven catching him singing into a butter knife. He had to get out of there.
He wondered if every time he had a problem he was sit on that bloody boulder. Was this really his answer to everything? To sit on a rock in front of his home and look for an answer over the water. He felt so pathetic.