Warning
This story is not suitable for readers under the age of sixteen. It contains sexual content, including some non-consensual, and may offend some readers. If this subject is offensive to you, please do not read this story.
Chapter 15 - A Long Day Apart
The previous night, Harry and Ron had been too tired to ask much about Hermione's chat with Dumbledore, but the next morning, they were keen to hear the full story.
"Did he say when it would be published?" asked Ron, eagerly, as they headed towards the Great Hall for breakfast.
"No," replied Hermione, "but he said he'd be keeping his friend informed about the progress, and it sounds like the book is already half written."
"It's a pity you don't know his name," said Harry. "We could have looked in the library for anything else he's published." Hermione agreed, and wished that she'd thought to ask Dumbledore for his friend's name, but at the time she had been thinking of the other things the headmaster had wanted to discuss.
By the time they reached the Great Hall, Harry was all for going to Dumbledore to ask him more about his friend's book, but Hermione was not keen on the idea of approaching him. "Maybe he doesn't want to tell me too much, so he doesn't get my hopes up," she suggested. "Let's just wait. He'll tell me when he wants to."
She was extremely pleased that Ron and Harry were taking such an interest in her news. They were good friends, and they seemed almost more pleased for her than she was for herself. Ordinarily, she would have been over the moon about the news, but her excitement was dampened by the other things on her mind.
Changing the subject, she asked, "So, what happened in your detention?"
The two boys told her the whole story. Snape had given them the book that contained the instructions for the Tonic, and had then sat at his desk staring at them.
"I don't know what was up with him," said Ron, "but he seemed in a really bad mood. He just sat there staring and criticizing for ages."
The potion they were making had been going okay for the first ten minutes or so. The ingredients had already been prepared for them by two Ravenclaw second years, who had been unfortunate enough to land themselves with detention a few nights previously. (Severus had told Hermione about the hilariously gruesome incident that had led to that detention, but she kept this news to herself.) The potion had been a little messy and they'd spilled some from one of the cauldrons onto the floor, but they thought things were going well - especially when Professor Snape had finally stopped scrutinizing their every move, and left the classroom. He'd told them he would be in his office and that 'Granger' could work on her project in there, when she arrived. At first, they had thought it a little odd that the professor would suggest that Hermione work in his office, but they soon realized the reason.
"The sneaky git must have been watching for when we'd be adding the leech juice," complained Ron, bitterly, "because he left just before everything went crazy!" The potion had called for two drops of the dark liquid in each mixture, and the boys had added this in all innocence. Without warning, the green potion had begun bubbling and steaming, pouring over the edges of the cauldrons and sending up plumes of green smoke. That was when the smell had hit them.
Harry screwed up his face at the memory. "No wonder he told us he wanted to give someone detention so he didn't have to make that stuff himself!" he seethed. "He got out just in time. It had all been okay until a few minutes before you arrived!"
"It was pretty foul by the time I got there!" Hermione agreed, trying to sound sympathetic, but holding back her laughter once again, at the memory of the two of them standing in the middle of the classroom, covered in the dark green substance. "You're both still green, by the way," she told them. Their hands were still stained, even though they looked liked they had been scrubbed raw in an attempt to remove the coloring, and there was a trace of the stuff on Harry's face. Even a small section of Ron's hair still showed evidence of their detention task. By the look of it, the only way to remove that would be to cut his hair!
"Anyway," Ron continued, "it took us ages to get the stuff ready and into the bottles. Then we had to clean it all up. That was just as bad as making it."
They told her that Professor Snape had, at least, given them the option to finish cleaning up that morning, but they had been determined to get it out of the way. His mood had evidently improved a little by the time they left, which Harry put down to the fact that he had enjoyed making them suffer so much.
"The only thing that can make him happy is to make everyone else miserable!" he stated. Hermione suppressed a wry smile. She happened to know one or two more ways to make him happy!
Instinctively, she glanced round to the teachers' table in time to catch a pair of dark eyes on her from across the room. She looked back at Harry and smiled, knowing that those dark eyes knew the smile was for them. "You're right, Harry," she grinned. "He just lives to make everyone else's life Hell!"
She couldn't help another glance at the top table, but this time it was not Severus that caught her attention, it was Dumbledore. His gaze was not on her, though, it was on the Potions Master, and this must have registered on her face, as, when she looked back to Severus, he had turned away.
Hermione purposefully looked away from the staff table, but Ron had apparently caught someone's eye, and was giving a cheerful grin in that direction. "Well, at least they're not all like Snape," he smiled. "Good old Dumbledore. It's such great news about your project, Hermione!"
She smiled weakly, and avoided looking over at Dumbledore, wondering how much he had seen of the glances that had passed between herself and Severus. It was beginning to appear that spending time apart was not enough to avoid the headmaster's suspicions. It seemed that, even in a crowded room, they could barely keep the fire under control!
As Hermione, Harry and Ron headed out of the Great Hall, a voice called out to them, and Professor Sprout hurried to catch up. "I'm so glad I caught you," she said. "I wanted to thank you two boys for the wonderful job you did with the Greenbottle's Tonic, and to award you ten points each for Gryffindor." She looked over her shoulder, then leaned conspiratorially towards the three of them. "Just don't tell Professor Snape!" she whispered. "He'd hate you to get points for something you did in detention!"
The four of them laughed and the professor set off down the corridor. Then she seemed to think of something and turned back. "You know, my Uncle Albert taught me everything I know about Herbology," she said, "but he did occasionally run into problems - such as," she gestured towards Harry and Ron's hands, "turning green from making Greenbottle's Tonic! You might want to look in the library for a book called '101 Magical Gardening Disasters (and How to Recover From Them)'. We used to have to use it a lot, with my uncle around!" She gave them a grin, and headed off in the direction of the staffroom.
"We'd better get to the library, then," said Hermione, setting off that way.
Ron and Harry followed. "I'm getting this strange feeling of déjà vu," said Ron, sounding puzzled. "I think I've heard you mention the library once or twice before... "
Snape waited until the three students were well clear of the Great Hall before leaving it. It was best to avoid running into Hermione wherever possible - especially as he seemed to be finding it impossible to keep his eyes off her while she was around. How much had Dumbledore seen? He almost wished that the old professor would confront him and get it over with - it had to be better than constantly worrying about what was going on in the headmaster's mind.
Worse, still, if the situation was so apparent to Dumbledore, did that mean that others could see it, too? He thought he always had his emotions under control, but Hermione was changing that. She was throwing him off balance and confusing his feelings. Maybe his face was betraying his emotions for the entire world to see.
No! He had to control this. Objectivity and control, Severus, he chided himself. Get a grip!
He had to get out of the castle and clear his head! Without really thinking about it, he headed for the lake. There was a cold wind outside and, coming straight from breakfast, he had no cloak with him, but that was good. Perhaps it would help to clear his mind, and he had never been worried by the cold.
He allowed his thoughts to drift as he walked, letting his feet and his mind lead him wherever they would.
How could things have changed so quickly? A month ago, he had no such anxieties. He knew who he was and what he felt - but then he had encountered a part of his being of which he had not been aware. Without any foreknowledge of his feelings, he had kissed Hermione and - he could hardly bring himself to think of it - raped her. He had no idea where those feelings had come from, or how long he had kept them buried beneath the surface, but since they had emerged they had become uncontrollable - demons that haunted him and made him wild and passionate, beyond the reach of his own senses. Yet, since that day, he also found himself more calm and focused than he could have imagined. It was as though she were bringing an order and purpose to his life that he had never realized it lacked. A little month!
Whatever his feeling about the past few weeks, he knew that what he felt now was somehow more 'real' than everything that had gone before. As though he were suddenly seeing the world in its true colors in the bright sunlight, instead of in shadows. Whatever Dumbledore thought or knew or said no longer seemed to matter. He had seen the look in Hermione's eyes that morning. He had seen the smile that he knew was for him, even though she had been looking away. He had felt her touch as she kissed him the night before. Those were the things that mattered to him now.
His feet led him on as he thought. Occasionally, he stopped and stood still, drinking in the air around him, or sat by the lake, staring into its depths, then set off once again, with no direction in mind. The peace and the solitude were exactly what he needed, and when he returned to the castle many hours later, late in the afternoon, he felt as relaxed and refreshed as though he had been out for a short stroll.
In the Gryffindor common room, Hermione Granger was curled comfortably in an armchair in front of the fire. It was late evening, and many of the Gryffindors had already gone to bed, but she stayed to enjoy the peace in the glow of the flames. She gently stroked the sleeping cat on her lap as she held her book to the light. "Practicality in Potions" - it was the book Severus had given to her from his library. She smiled at the thought, and read on.
In his rooms in the dungeon, Severus Snape sat comfortably in an armchair in front of the fire. He turned his book over in his hand - "The Complete Works of William Shakespeare". He had owned it for many years, but, while some pages were well worn, others had never been turned. He allowed the pages to flick through his fingers. Maybe he would select something different, tonight. The Sonnets, maybe? He smiled at the thought, and read on.