Chapter Eleven
Nick had sat for hours in a silent despair with Levi's words repeating over and over in his head until it throbbed. Finally, he'd had enough wallowing. He could only take self-pity for so long before it became unbearable and besides, he knew it offered no help to his current situation. Levi had been trying to break him, trying to make him give up hope so that he would lay down and die without a fight. Nick could not do that. He would not do that.
So he charged himself with the task of finding away out of this mess. He didn't want to sit around waiting for a rescue. He preferred to be proactive. If he was on the lookout, an opportunity for escape might prevent itself. He needed to consider every possible option. Cutting through the ropes wouldn't work because there was nothing with which to cut them. He could try fight his way out when they cut him loose to kill him, but that would most likely just get him and perhaps Donna killed quicker. No, there had to be another way. He had to find it.
As Nick was weighing the possibilities, the door opened once again. He assumed that Levi was back for more emotional torture, but he was wrong. Nick watched as the thin form of Nathan Sanford entered the room. The teenager quietly shut the door behind him - an action which immediately told Nick that he was here without Levi's approval. Now that he was inside the room, Nathan appeared uncertain as to what he should do. For a few moments, he stood rooted in his spot as if waging some internal battle. Finally, with some hesitancy, he made his way over to Donna and kneeled before her.
Nick remained mute, curious to see what was about to happen. How would Nathan treat Donna? Would he respond with violence? With apathy? With sympathy? He was about to find out.
Nathan peered into the girl's face and asked, "How are you?"
Donna stared at him in disbelief. "How am I? Not good Nathan. I'm waiting to die. That doesn't exactly qualify as a good time."
"How do you think I feel? You betrayed me! For the longest time, you were the only person I trusted and you let me down." Nathan shook his head, his sorrowful features belying his angry tone.
Donna suddenly grew animated as her anger overwhelmed her despair. "I betrayed you? What about your betrayal of me? We were friends, Nathan! More than friends! We were close. We shared our deepest secrets and fears and now you're going to let that man kill me because I tried to do the right thing!"
"You shouldn't have run to the police, Donna. You don't understand what we're trying to do here. It's truly a great thing." Nathan told her though his tone lacked the certainty his words conveyed.
"Kidnaping and murder are not great things! They're wrong, Nathan, and you know it! You cannot take matters into your own hands." Donna chastised him.
"Levi said that you couldn't understand. He warned me that some would not understand what we were trying to do. I wish you could understand. You should be with me. Not tied up in here." Nathan said sadly.
Donna shook her head in sorrow. Tears ran down her cheek as she spoke. "What has he done to you? What lies has he made you believe? That man does not know you! Not like I do! We've been through so much, Nathan. I know that you're a good person. That man has manipulated you. He's using you to achieve his own goals. You are so much better than that. Better than him! Don't let him use you! Show me that you are still the same boy that I fell in love with. Please. I know he's there somewhere."
The boy hesitated. He had lowered his eyes at Donna's last words and now seemed uncertain as to what to say in response.
"Nathan, please!" Donna pleaded desperately with him. She reached forward with her bound hands and latched onto his arm. "Don't let him do this!"
Nathan stared at her hands and then looked up at her. "I'm sorry, but you have been found guilty. You must be punished."
Nathan stood up quickly and walked as quickly to the door as he could without actually running. Nick suddenly realized that he had found a potential means of escape. Nathan was conflicted which meant that he might be susceptible to Nick's words. He might not be presented with another opportunity like this so he needed to make the most of it before Nathan went back down to Levi.
"You're having doubts." Nick said quietly but firmly.
Nathan removed his hand from the doorknob and spun on his heel in order to face Nick. "I am not having doubts." His face and voice were both unconvincing.
Nick smiled softly. "Yes you are or you wouldn't be here. Things aren't turning out the way you expected them too. You've suddenly found that you're in over your head and you don't know how to get out of this situation. Levi is like a father to you, but now he's asking you to do something that you're not sure you can do. He's asking you to kill someone you love. Why? Because she tried to save the lives of her parents. His request is bothering you. You don't want to do it."
A flicker of emotion passed across Nathan's face too quickly for Nick to catch, but the stiffening of the boy's spine was clearly visible. In a tone that was not unlike Levi's, he said, "If you take my concern for Donna's life to mean that I have concern for yours, you are sadly mistaken Mr. Stokes. I care nothing for you and your words of manipulation have no power over me. I know Levi. I trust him. He only wants good things for me. He knows what is best and he has taught me that everything comes with a sacrifice."
Nick was not about to back down. "If he truly wanted what was best for you, he would not have made you a murderer. If you stand by and let Donna be killed, your inaction will haunt you for the rest of your life. You still have time to do the right thing, Nathan. It's not too late."
Nathan hesitated, his spine losing its stiffness, and ran a hand through his sandy hair. For a moment, Nick thought that he might just come over and untie him, but then Nathan opened the door and stepped outside into the hallway. He lifted his eyes to meet Nick's and said, "Yes, it is."
Catherine and Sara had spent the last hour running property searches on Levi's followers and had come up with nothing other than the houses they already knew about. No one secretly owned a mansion that would be the ideal hideout for a cult-like group to perform its ritual murder. They were rapidly running out of leads to chase.
To Sara's surprise, Catherine pushed away angrily from the desk where she was sitting.
"Where are you going?" the brunette asked her.
"To stretch my legs. I need to get away from this thing." Catherine shot an angry look at the computer before stalking away.
Catherine made her way down the hall in silence. She had been telling a half truth to Sara when she said that she needed to stretch her legs. In actuality, there was a more pressing matter that she wanted to deal with and it wasn't connected to the case in the strictest of sense. However it did have everything to do with the man supposedly leading this investigation so she felt justified in addressing it.
Catherine had assigned herself the unspoken task of "taking care" of her coworkers and as the only one with a child, this task came natural to her. To say that she was concerned would be an understatement. They were all worried about Nick. How could they not be? He was their friend and he was in danger. They all wanted to find him, but none of them had crossed the line of obsession that Grissom had crossed ever since they realized Nick was gone. She couldn't recall ever seeing him like this and she reasoned that his current behavior had to be the result of his guilt over treating Nick so badly recently. Whether it was guilt or worry, Gil Grissom was rapidly becoming a object of concern.
She knocked politely on his office door and gave him a warm smile when he looked up. Immediately, Catherine saw his features darken a bit and she realized that getting him to talk wasn't going to be easy. However, Catherine was not about to be stonewalled by the scientist. At least not without a fight.
"I was wondering how you were doing." Catherine said as she entered the office. She closed the door behind her so as to give them some privacy.
"Well, I've discovered a few more things from Levi's journal. He - ..." Gil started but Catherine cut him off with a wave of her hand.
"That's not what I meant." she corrected him gently.
Gil lowered his head a bit. "I know what you meant. I don't want to talk about it."
Catherine shifted in her seat, ready to take him on. "This is about what you need, Gil, not what you want. You need to talk about this. I know you're upset about Nick. I know you're worried. We all are. We all want to get Nick back safely as well as all those other people, but in order to do that, we need you to be focused. Right now, you're not and it's obvious that you're responding more emotionally than logically. We need you to be our leader and not stay barricaded in your office."
Grissom stared at a spot on his desk while Catherine allowed her words to sink in. Without raising his head, he spoke again in a tone that nearly broke Catherine's heart. "We had a fight yesterday. Nick and I. He came in here to confront me about the way I had been treating him over the past month and I let him have it. I didn't pull any punches. I was deliberately mean and spiteful, telling him just exactly how worthless I thought he was. Then I kicked him out of the lab. Told him that I didn't want to see him anymore. And that's not even the worst part of it all. He called me to say that he was at the lake with Donna Redman and that he knew where Levi was holding all those people and I deliberately ignored his call."
Catherine stared at him as the horrible realization settled over her. Now she was beginning to understand why Grissom had been acting the way he had. He wasn't just blaming himself for treating Nick badly. He considered himself responsible for Nick's current situation, something which was not completely unfounded. She could have yelled at him, blaming him for everything, and she would have been justified. However, Catherine couldn't bring herself to do it. She knew that Grissom had channeled all of his guilt and remorse into finding Nick and she wanted to encourage him. Not kick him while he's down.
A look of sorrow on her face, Catherine said, "Gil, I - ..."
This time it was Grissom's turn to cut Catherine off.
Getting to his feet, he asked, "Is this the part where you're going to tell me that it's not my fault? That Nick rushing off into danger and getting himself abducted had nothing to do with the fact that I treated him like garbage and didn't answer his call? If it is, I don't want to hear it. Don't tell me that it's going to be okay. Don't tell me that I'm a good person. Don't give me your pity. Don't try to comfort me. I don't want it and I don't deserve it."
Catherine closed her mouth, indicating that she was going to respect his wishes, and she was about to ask him what he had found in the journal when something around Grissom's waist caught her eye.
"Are you wearing a gun?" she asked in astonishment. "I haven't seen you wear one since..."
The words died on her lips as she made the connection. Amy Hendler. The last time Grissom had worn his gun, he had saved Nick's life. Was he wearing one now as some sort of weird good luck charm, hoping that he'd have the chance once again to perform some heroic act?
Grissom looked down at his waist and stared dumbly at the gun. "I just felt like putting it on. Can't really explain why. It just felt like the right thing to do."
Catherine hesitated, not sure if Grissom's sudden need to pack heat was something that warranted further discussion or not. She guessed that Grissom's subconscious was trying to latch onto something that offered him security and perhaps the best thing was a loaded weapon - something that offered self-protection in more ways than one. Well, who was she to deny him the right to bear arms?
"Okay." Catherine nodded and promptly switched topics. "Do you want to tell me what new information you got from Prosper's journal?"
Catherine almost missed the look of gratitude in Grissom's eyes as he sat back down. He held up the journal and said, "Prosper goes into some detail as to what he means by the 'purging' and how the guilty must be destroyed by fire. It makes sense in a way. Certain metals are subjected by fire and the impurities are burned away. In the same way, Levi is subjecting the earth, or society, by fire and burning away the impurities, or the guilty as he would call it."
"So he's planning to somehow burn these people alive." Catherine said, trying not to let the terror she was feeling creep into her voice.
"Prosper could start a fire the simple way with a match and accelerant or he could do something more elaborate like constructing a bomb. Regardless of how the fire starts, he's going to ensure that those people are consumed by the flames." Grissom muttered grimly.
Unbidden, an image of Nick trapped in a building surrounded by flames flashed before her eyes causing Catherine to give an involuntary shudder. She desperately hoped it wouldn't come to that.
Something in her face must have given Catherine's thoughts away causing Gil to frown. "I'm assuming that you've yet to uncover anything of interest."
Catherine shook her head sadly. "Nothing but dead ends."
The implication went unspoken but was understood by both of them. They were running out of options; they were running out of time. Once again, Grissom could feel that immense pressure weighing down on his shoulders. It caused him to fidget in his chair and he felt the sudden desire to be anywhere other than the lab.
"This isn't helping." Gil said as he tossed the journal aside. He stood up abruptly and headed out the door.
"Where are you going?" Catherine called out after him.
"To get a fresh perspective." Grissom called from over his shoulder.