Warning

This story is not suitable for readers under the age of sixteen. It contains sexual content, including some non-consensual, and may offend some readers. If this subject is offensive to you, please do not read this story.

Chapter 31 – "Haven"

"So why aren't you on the Floo Network?"

Hermione and Snape had taken a moment to sit down on their long walk, and gaze across the lake back towards the house. He was telling her about its history, about how long he'd owned it, about the grounds and the lake, and about how he had come to know it by the simple name of "Haven".

"I don't get many visitors," he told her, "and don't usually want them. Anyway – I like to fly!"

Hermione turned to him, thinking about her overreaction to the thought of flying the night before. "Sorry about last night!"

He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "You have nothing to apologize for," he said softly. "I'm the one who made a mess of things, showing up like that."

Hermione gave a gentle snort of annoyance. "It's not your fault that my parents are narrow-minded and unreasonable," she muttered. "They had to know some time, Severus, and there wasn't an easy way to tell them. That was as good a way for them to find out as any!"

He seemed concerned about this. "I knew that your parents did not understand, but I had no idea that things were so bad! I suppose from their point of view, I couldn't be any worse – being so much older than you, and a wizard, and a teacher!"

"It was quite funny when my Dad asked how old you were, and I suddenly realized that I didn't know, myself!"

Snape frowned. "Twenty years is a big age gap. By the time you're thirty, I'll be fifty!"

Hermione couldn't help laughing. "I thought that our ages weren't important!" she teased. She suddenly turned serious, thinking of something. "So, I guess that means ... " her stomach gave a jolt and she hesitated. " ... I guess we're thinking of 'us' as a long term thing, then!"

Severus' eyes met hers, completely serious. "I can't stand to think about a day of my life without you!"

He leaned forward to kiss her, but she put a hand on his chest and held him back. "But ... you left me, Severus."

The pain on his face was unbearable, but Hermione fought against her reaction to pull him close to her. His eyes closed, and his head tilted back. She waited while he took a deep breath, then forced his eyes back to hers.

"Hermione," he said, hoarsely, "the reasons that I left still apply. I told you that I couldn't bear the possibility of hurting you. That's what was ... is ... tearing me apart. I'm not in control of my emotions – you've done that to me. I thought that it would be better for me to be the one in pain by not letting myself be near you, than to risk hurting you. It seems selfish that I chose to take the risk of hurting you because I can't bear to be parted from you, but ... it wasn't right for me to be the only one making that decision."

She had heard his reasons for leaving, in the pub the night before, but somehow – needed to hear them again. Needed to know that he meant them and that he knew how much it had hurt her when he left. "Promise me, Severus – that you'll never shut me out like that again." Romantic or not, she knew that things could go wrong in a relationship – that 'forevers', however wonderful they sounded, could not always be real – but the thought of being shut out of a decision like that, especially one that was made to protect her, was agonizing.

Hands reached to cup her face, and his eyes burned with pain and regret. "I swear it," he whispered. "And I mean it – that I can't bear the thought of living without you. I'm not just thinking about when you're thirty – I'm thinking about when we're both old and wrinkly!"

"Closer in your case, than mine!" Hermione couldn't resist the joking comment, but her lover's eyes were still serious. He kissed her, then stood, pulling her to her feet.

"I might remind you, Ms. Granger," he told her in a low voice, "that, despite the fact that this is the holidays, I could still deduct points from Gryffindor for insolence like that!"

She matched her tone to his, and played along. "Sorry, Professor Snape. " Then, slyly, "Wouldn't you prefer to give me a detention?" He narrowed his eyes and growled at her, then they continued on their walk in silence for a while.

The December sky was overcast and grey, but the air was crisp and they could see for a long way as they walked. There were several points where small streams ran into or out of the lake, and one spot where the water was shallow but wide, and they had to go a long way into the woods to reach an area of natural stepping-stones where they could cross.

"Speaking of school, Ms. Granger," Severus began suddenly, "and... us ... I've had an idea." He squeezed her hand as they walked. "You are not as much of a dunderhead as my other students, and it might make things easier on us both ... and maybe on Professor Dumbledore ... if you were to take your Potions N.E.W.T. a year early."

Hermione turned to him in surprise. It was an amazing idea! "Do you think I'll be ready?" she asked, excited at the prospect, but aware of the amount of extra work involved.

He answered her with a question. "What would be the effect of adding Hupcus Root to a sleeping draught?"

She thought for a moment, then answered, "It would counteract the soothing agents, and probably produce terrible nightmares."

"Very good. What would be the most likely antidote to a poison using a natural snake venom as the main ingredient?"

Again, some thought, then, "Use the same venom, but prepare a mixture using equal amounts of a reversing agent, such as powdered Fwooper feathers, or gnome skin."

The Potions Master regarded his student with interest. "Those are not things I have taught you, Hermione," he told her. "They are things you had to deduce from your knowledge of the properties of each substance." Hermione couldn't help but glow at his praise. "You are more ready than many of my final year class."

They discussed the subject as they walked, and Hermione became more and more convinced of the merits of the idea, and of her own ability to do well in the exam. They agreed that Severus would ask the headmaster's permission and, of course, the Head of Gryffindor house would need to approve, if Professor Dumbledore agreed. Hermione also insisted that Severus arrange for someone else to mark her paper. Severus would be completely objective, naturally, but that would be difficult for others to accept, once everything came out in the open.

It was in the middle of all this discussion about Potions, that Hermione suddenly stopped dead. Severus' face mirrored the worry on hers as he asked quickly what was wrong. She couldn't speak for a moment, then, "Severus – the spell. The one that Slytherin put on the dungeon ... " She didn't need to say more – by the look on Severus' face, she knew he had understood. Clearly, he had given it just as little thought as she.

It was a tense moment, but Hermione felt an instant of half guilt, half puzzlement, that her reaction was not the overwhelming panic that she somehow felt she should feel. Slowly, Snape drew her to him, and they stood, their arms around each other, as they both considered the implications. The warmth of Severus' body was solid and comforting as they stood in that gentle embrace.

After several minutes' silence, he told her softly, "I can create a potion that will take care of it for while we're here. As for this morning ... I don't think there's anything to be done about that. We'll just have to wait."

He pulled back slightly, and kissed her, then they fell back into their silent embrace for a while longer. When they continued walking, each felt that there had been much more unspoken about the subject than spoken, but neither could seem to put it into words.

As Hermione took the small vial to her lips several hours later, she smiled at him. "I don't ever remember drinking a potion you've prepared, before," she told him. "I just hope that you're as good a potion-brewer as you are a theorist and teacher!"

He reached out to take the empty tube from her as she screwed up her face at the foul taste. "Well, it's not a potion I'm too familiar with, but you will probably survive!" He pulled her into his arms, and kissed her, tasting the remnants of the potion on her lips. Then, without warning, he scooped her up into his arms. "And now that you've drunk it," he continued, "it would seem a shame not to take advantage!"

Neither of them mentioned their carelessness throughout the rest of the Christmas holiday, although it was on each of their minds often during the time. Both were resolved to wait to find out the consequences, and in the meantime, they reflected on the possibilities with mixed feelings. Neither felt that it was likely that Hermione was pregnant, though could not explain why, nor their reluctance to discuss the subject in too much depth.

These thoughts aside, the holidays were wonderful for both of them. Many hours were spent walking in the snow, or sitting by the fire, talking or reading.

It's such a peaceful, quiet house, Hermione thought happily, as she snuggled in her lover's arms. This is the perfect place to get away from everything.

They also used the time for Severus to teach Hermione the spell for invisibility. Much to her disappointment, she found it far more difficult than she had expected. Concentrating hard, she could sustain the effect for only a few minutes, and it took her until the end of the holidays to be able to become truly invisible. During her early attempts, her teacher was still able to find her by the faint outline she left.

By the time they had to leave to return to Hogwarts, Hermione felt that Severus' home was the most wonderful place she had ever seen. The atmosphere totally absorbed her, and she could have happily stayed there forever.

Their last night together in their sanctuary was pure magic – an evening walk in silvery moonlight, and a relaxed supper by the fire. Making love in Severus' large bed was at once tender and loving, but intense and passionate. They lay together afterwards, holding each other close – warm bodies pressed together, and hearts joined.

As they drifted into sleep, Hermione heard Severus' mumbled voice. "Hermione?"

"Hmm?"

"Have I ever mentioned that I love you?"

She nuzzled her head into his shoulder. "Once or twice."

"Just checking." She was almost asleep when his voice came again. "You know, whatever happens ... " he placed a hand on her stomach, "... it will be okay!"

Placing a hand on his, she murmured. "I love you, Severus."

They slept.

"Crookshanks!" Hermione threw herself at the ball of fur that was waiting for her on her return.

Ron and Harry jumped up to welcome her as she stepped into the Gryffindor common room.

"You're earlier than we expected," said Ron. "The train won't arrive until tonight. Crookshanks seemed to know you were coming, though. He's been prowling all morning!"

Hermione and Severus had arrived back at Hogwarts at around midday the day before school started again, having traveled by coach, then Floo Powder. She knew that this would probably need some explanation for her friends, and she had already decided to tell them as much of the truth as she thought she could. Now was as good a time as any, and without even bothering to take her things to her room, she dropped into a chair. Crookshanks jumped onto her lap, and she sat stroking him as she told them about Severus' sudden disappearance just before the holidays, his arrival in the village where her aunt lived, and their stay at the aptly named "Haven". The only things she left out, in the end, were the fact that they had originally planned to spend the whole holiday together, and the worrying thoughts about their carelessness on the day after Christmas.

On hearing Snape's suggestion that she take her Potions N.E.W.T. a year early, they were at first skeptical, on the grounds that she would probably overwork herself, to prepare for it, but gradually came round to the idea. They didn't seem to think that there was much that would improve the teacher / student situation between herself and Snape, but she was so keen on the idea that they could hardly disapprove.

They were also very interested in the argument with her parents and, although she knew that they felt for her, they couldn't help also siding somewhat, with her parents' point of view. Well – they were entitled to their opinion, she thought, as long as they also respected her privacy and her right to love whomever she chose! In a sudden fit of emotion, she hugged each of them for their understanding, and left them standing, a little puzzled, as she headed to her room to unpack her things.

Malcolm Baddock sunk back into the shadows of the dungeon as Hermione Granger hurried passed him. She hadn't seen him as he had been about to head up the steps into the main school, and he had quickly stepped out of the passage, to ensure that it remained that way.

From the darkness of a doorway, he watched her slipping up the stone steps. The train had not yet arrived, bringing back the students who had left for the holidays, and he was certain that the Gryffindor had not been there over Christmas. And yet, here she was, suitcase in hand, heading from the Potions corridor the day before term started ...

He glanced thoughtfully down the corridor she had just left, then turned and headed pensively back towards the common room. As his Slytherin mind considered the possibilities, his lips began to form a contemplative smile.