Always There

Ch.5

The hut was shrouded in a cloud of depression and sadness, so thick and unyielding that the occupants inside felt like they had all suffered this curse for so long that there was no such thing as happiness and smiles. That didn't exist anymore, they could never be truly happy again, they just had to keep going. Kill Naraku, get rid of the jewel, and then wither into nothingness.

A week down…the rest of their lives to go.

Orange and yellow flames licked and crackled gleefully, eating at the wood with a greedy intensity. They all stared into the hypnotizing light with hard, sightless eyes. Dried tears streaked down most of their cheeks and no one spoke or made a move to really eat the soup placed in front of them. They couldn't taste it anyway.

Shippo was sitting cross legged in a favored corner of his deceased papa and had an indifferent mask marring his once happy face. Torn and shredded pieces of scribbled drawings and broken crayons littered the wooden floor around him but no one scolded him or pushed him to clean it up.

Sango had her precious boomerang lying on her lap and a polishing rag clenched forgotten in her slender fingers. Her cheek was resting against the hard demon bone stroking the fur of Kilala with a distracted and mechanical motion.

Kaede was rubbing a ripped piece of red cloth in her old wrinkly hands. A needle and thread held in one hand, the other petting the cloth like it was a beautiful masterpiece.

It was once Inuyasha's proud and vibrant red haori.

Miroku was clenching and unclenching his beaded, cursed hand; his forehead resting against the cool metal of his staff, lying against his shoulder. He seemed restless but made no effort to move or say some words of encouragement that he once said so well. He had hardly said a word…since…that day.

No one moved, no one lifted their head or flicked their eyes or gave a polite friendly greeting as Kagome walked into the hut, the makeshift flap ruffling and slapping the wood behind her.

Kagome sighed as she came into the room from hell. No longer rumbling with laughter and pleasant conversations, bedtime stories or slap-and-grope-a-thons; it would never be that way again. She looked down at the little puppy, conked out in her arms and she had the sudden urge to end the silence. She had made no move to do that for so long it seemed but she knew that it was desperately needed to right now. If she didn't, the silence would surely send her to an early insanity.

"Hey guys," she whispered thickly, "look what I found." No one moved and a tiny flicker of irritation erupted to life within her.

She walked into the middle of the room and sat down. "You guys," she raised her voice a fraction louder, "listen to me!" They all jumped as if finally registering that she was there, which really they had, and instantly looked down at the slumbering puppy tucked in her chest.

Sango leaned forward and smiled slightly, that same fake smile she had used for the past week, "Oh, what a cute little puppy. Where did you find him, Kagome?"

"At In…I mean I found him in the forest. Isn't he cute?"

"No, he's just some mangy mutt." Shippo growled gruffly and sulked farther into the corner. Kagome frowned at him with sad eyes, the poor kit.

Kaede made her away next to Kagome and stroked the pup's ear, making it twitch. Yasha snorted and snuggled to a more comfortable position. "He looks like a stray and so young but his age is hard to figure. What have ye decided to call him, Kagome?"

The girl sighed once again, turning her melancholy eyes down on the dog. "Yasha," she murmured.

Shippo snorted, "Feh, that's original."

"Shippo, shush." Miroku whispered in a soft dangerous voice, devoid of all emotion, "That's a very nice name, Kagome."

Kagome tilted her head towards him in appreciation, "Thank you, Miroku."

He nodded but did not smile, instead turning his violet gaze back onto his hand.

Yasha suddenly squirmed and opened his eyes. Sango and Kaede gasped, irking the other's curiosity, as Shippo and Miroku walked over to see what was so amazing.

They all fell in shocked silence, and Inuyasha stared at them with confused amber orbs, the meaning of everyone's stunned faces. What the hell's wrong with them?

"He has the same…" Shippo started.

"His eyes…and his ears…"

"His fur as well…" Sango and Miroku exchanged startled glances.

"He's cute isn't he?" Kagome patted the top of Yasha's head in slight pride.

"Very…quite shocking actually," Kaede whispered. Inuyasha rolled his eyes and stretched his paws out in front of him, giving a mighty yawn. Sitting up tall, he cast his gaze upon his pack in the quizzical air of a leader.

You all look like shit, you know that? Inuyasha trotted off Kagome's lap and walked around them, sniffing and eyeing them in a strangely judging way.

Then a powerful rush of excitement and joy of finally seeing his pack seized him uncharacteristically and he tried to suppress it…but with no avail.

Ah, what the hell... he yipped and bounded after each and every one of them. Jumping onto their laps, licking their faces, his little tail wagging, and then he would go to the next person. They were all stunned as the puppy bounced and barked happily, making his way to Shippo…who was up and ready. With a surprising strength, Shippo�pushed him away.

With his momentum he was running, Inuyasha rolled on the floor by Shippo's attack. Yasha growled and hopped to his feet, glaring at Shippo who just glared right back. What the hell you little brat? What was that for? He snarled and walked towards the kit cautiously, sniffing and not breaking eye contact.

His pup's emerald green eyes were blazing with fury…and pain. Inuyasha was momentarily distracted and stopped in his tracks. He's sad…and he's blocking the pain with anger…you have to help…soften him…he needs you…your pup needs you…Yasha's eyes softened and he trotted toward the kit with determination…to make the pain go away.

Shippo growled and backed away, "Go away, you stupid dog! Leave me alone!" Inuyasha snorted and came closer. "No, you leave me alone," out of nowhere the kitsune slashed out his claws and missed mere inches of striking Inuyasha's nose.

Everyone gasped and Kagome shrieked but the only means of the hanyou's surprise was a hardened glare and several blinks. Inuyasha snorted at the panting Shippo, who fell into shadow of his corner, and walked back to Kagome, eyeing his pup with a determined gaze. I'll deal with you later……son…

As he neared the distraught girl, he suddenly felt a weird hum fall over his body. He slowed and rubbed his nose with his paw, but the trembling only increased. His fur stood on end and he couldn't quell the small tremors of every muscle in his body. What the—

"Oh my God, look at the rosary!" Everyone gaped as the black wooden beads began to lightly glow pink and was lifting off Kagome's chest. Inuyasha yipped as suddenly the necklace broke into dozens of floating pieces and dashed towards him like comets. His head flung from side to side as they all fitted together into a circle around his neck….

This looked familiar.

As the light faded a well-known and actually missed weight fell onto his chest. Inuyasha looked down…his rosary was back. Oh, wonderful…he scratched the back of his neck with a hind leg and sighed, trotting over to sit in a shocked Kagome's lap.

"Wh-why did that happen, Kaede?" Sango asked with wide eyes as Yasha curled up into a ball.

"I…don't know…it should only work for…"

"Inuyasha," Miroku stated with a bland tone.

"Yes…"

"Than why did it…go around Yasha's neck?" Kagome asked, stroking the back of a content little puppy.

I know. It's because it's for my soul only and now I'm back. But you better not say 'sit' dammit, I can't even talk.

"That…I'm afraid I will never figure out?" Kaede sighed, "Come, it is time to go to sleep. It's…been a long day."

Everyone nodded dejected and readied themselves for bed, Kaede dousing the fire. It's hissing of pain and costly demise of losing its light pierced their ears, while they laid themselves down on mats and in sleeping bags; a puppy taking a kit's place next to Kagome's side.

Inuyasha waited as patiently as he could as he listened to everyone's breathing slowing and deepening into slumber. Kagome's tight hold around his waist lessened to the point that he could easily inch out of her grasp without waking her, she whimpered at the loss of his heat and he licked her chin gently. I'll be back…I have to see Shippo first.

Looking around in the gloom of the moon and dying embers still trying to spring to life one last time, Inuyasha finally was satisfied that everyone was in dreamland. His claws clicked on the hard wood floor as he made his way towards his favorite corner, the small breathing of Shippo reaching his ears. My poor annoying little pup…Inuyasha paused as he smelled a fog of salt around the little demon. A single tear glistened on his cheek by the night's glow and Inuyasha's heart tightened.

Inuyasha resumed tip toeing as well as his newly acquired paws could allow him towards the, he knew, wide awake Shippo. He could see the twinkle of the kit's emerald eyes welling up with silent tears, his body shuddering with controlled sobs and he gripped something close to his chest.

The Tetsusaiga, Yasha had almost forgotten that. Thank god it was safe. His head cocked to the side as he saw something else also clutched protectively in Shippo's arms.

Inuyasha's eyes clouded in memory and slight confusion of where the demon child could have apprehended it. The small yellow and red striped ball given to him by his mother, his favorite and most cherished toy, which had resided lovingly in the confines of his kimono. He was astonished that it had survived Naraku's blast.

Shippo held onto these two items in a death grip and the hanyou was certain he would fight to the death to protect them. Inuyasha gave a doggy smile and resumed walking over to his side.

The kit didn't move or alter his hollowed gaze from the wall as he spoke harshly, "Go away, dog. I don't want you, leave me alone, or I won't feel sorry if I rip you to shreds." He glared angrily and growled as Inuyasha only moved closer. "I mean it, Yasha."

I've already died once so far…and I know you wouldn't. My Shippo wouldn't be like this…you're in horrible grief for no reason…just let me help you…like he had anticipated Shippo didn't attack or even move as he finally reached his side. Inuyasha sat and watched him; he would be patient on getting any closer. He would wait till Shippo had said what he needed to say, just like Kagome had.

It didn't take long.

"You don't deserve that name, you know." His voice was soft and bitter, "You don't deserve to have my papa's name!" Shippo at last turned to look at the hanyou, and Inuyasha was at a lost for words by the grief and sorrow in his eyes. Once shining in mischief and joy but now…Inuyasha wanted the old Shippo back. "My papa was a great demon and you're some mutt, you shouldn't even bark that name! He was a hero…and he died saving us…you don't deserve it…" Shippo hugged the sword and ball tighter and muffled his sobs in his skinny arms.

Inuyasha took the chance when he was busy to come to his side. The dog nosed his arm and when Shippo didn't kick him away, Inuyasha laid down beside him and nuzzled his way to the kit's chest. Shippo gave a high choked sound and suddenly gripped the hanyou tightly to him, the other belongings forgotten. That a boy, Shippo, now talk to me…get it off your chest…I'm right here…

"I miss my papa! I've lost two daddies now and it's not fair! I want Inuyasha back! I want my daddy back!" Shippo couldn't control his crying no longer and in a panic of waking the others, bounded to his feet and fled out of the hut; Inuyasha hot on his trail.

Shippo ran for a time in the sweet piercing night air until he slipped in the dew and fell face first in the grass. He shivered and curled into a little ball, wailing into the ground. Inuyasha huffed to him and snuggled back through his arms to get to his chest. It's okay to cry, Shippo…let it all out…give me your pain…Shippo buried his face in the dog's coarse white hair and shed a waterfall of a week's pain and loneliness.

"There was…so much blood…and I hated that damn smell……I thought he could make it…like all those other times. He…actually called me his son…and then…oh God and then…" Shippo screamed in grieving agony. "My papa's gone! And I watched them burn his body!"

Inuyasha stilled. Oh shit, oh damn, you didn't…

"Those bastards acted like they didn't care! Setting fire to my papa like that…make…making him disappear forever…I couldn't stand it…" All of a sudden, probably reliving the horrible images of a body burning to ashes, Shippo's body trembled and then he graced the ground with the little food and fluid left in his stomach from the past week. Inuyasha whimpered as Shippo held his abdomen and panted, doing it once more before collapsing in the dirt.

How in the hell…why did you watch something like that…who was watching you? Oh shit, my pup, my poor son…Inuyasha whimpered again and laid next to Shippo, having his body heat warm the shaking kitsune. He nosed his neck and snuggled closer.

"I love my papa, Yasha…and I want him back. I miss teasing him and arguing with him…I wish…we had become more like father and son…before…he died. I wish…he was still here…papa…" Shippo eyes suddenly drifted closed, with sobs chocking in his throat�and pretty soon he had succumbed to an exhausted sleep.

Inuyasha wished once again that he could cry. He knew how Shippo felt, once dealing with the same pain of watching his own mother die, and he wished that he also had treated the kit more like a son when he was alive. But I will when I come back…I'll become like a true father to you Shippo…I promise…I won't let you suffer in this pain…I'll always be there for you…

Inuyasha didn't sleep the whole time he was with Shippo, even as the warmth of the morning rays kissed his fur. He stayed by his side…to protect his son…like the father he wanted to become and Shippo slept peacefully for the first time since…that day and if you looked carefully there was a soft smile�lingering on his face as he dreamed happy dreams and was unknowingly being guarded by his papa.

A.N. I cried yet again. My nose is runny, I need a tissue, and I'm trying to not wake up my family. I can't believe I'm so evil, I wish Shippo was real and I could hug him or at least have Inu talk so he could help him. Oh, it's real bad when the author cries! You all hate me don't you? I know I hate myself. Oh, poor Shippo, I should have a box of Kleenex next to my computer from now on. Excuse me…oh, and please review. :blows nose and then sobs some more: