A.N Okay, before I begin I must say thank you to all my wonderful reviewers, I thought for certain you all hated me after the second chapter but you all stuck with me. My deepest thanks and I hope you all keep reviewing, it makes a heart swell. Also, I've had some confusion with a few readers so let me clarify, Inu does not have a real 'pack' I was referring to the instinctive trait of him calling his companions, his friends, as his pack. From what I gather Inu has been alone all his life and even though they aren't the same species, Inu calls his friends his pack. Okay, it's confusing but don't fret about it, so now onward to chapter six.
Always There
Ch.6
It was becoming a very slow effort but Inuyasha, to much personal pride; felt that he was taking great leaps and bounds on cheering his pack up. He couldn't miss how they didn't seem as enthusiastic towards things like when he was alive but he thought for certain that they had gotten better. Shippo didn't snap as much and Kagome was smiling more, but it was starting to worry him how much she was daydreaming. He'd have to figure out a way to solve that little problem later but first, it was the next person on his list; Sango.
He sat and watched with a keen eye as the taijiya in question was helping to build a village hut. The hanyou noticed right away the strict mental concentration she put into her work of hammering and sawing, as if it was the most fascinating and important thing in the world; a clear indicator that she was pushing against any other thoughts and feelings. His next observation was that damn annoying happy, perky attitude she would display in front of everyone, the one where she smiled and laughed a choked laugh but her dark brown eyes were hazy with hurt.
It definitely was pissing him off.
Sango suddenly dropped the hammer to the ground in a huff and then fell to one knee, breathing hard. She was drenching in sweat and her face had gone pale. Inuyasha rolled his eyes and hurried over to grab a flask filled with water and dragged it over to the over worked and dehydrated warrior.
He gave a puppy whine that he had experimented with to perfection the past few days and nudged her hand. Sango smiled down at him and guzzled the thanked fluid greedily. "Oh, thank you boy," she wiped her mouth, "I guess I tired myself out."
Duh, you stupid wench, I can't have you passing out when we finally continue our journey. You better drink all of that. He growled when she was about to pick up the hammer.
Sango sighed, "Okay, Yasha, I get it. I'll take a break." She laid her back against the finished wall and drank the rest of the flask's contents with a slower digression. Inuyasha grinned and settled on his back beside her, showing his flank for attention.
Another thing he had learned…tummy rubs were amazing.
The taijiya chuckled and lazily stroked her hand on Inuyasha's soft stomach, earning a happy little grunt from the puppy. Sango trailed her fingers in little circles in his pure white fur when it seemed the silence was getting to her and she started to talk.
Inuyasha smirked, his plan had worked. He had come to find that the quickest way to get everyone to get on with life was to talk their brains out, maybe cry, and then they acted as if a horrendous weight had been lifted off of their shoulders. Kagome wasn't there yet, she still seemed a bit depressed, but it definitely worked a few noticeable wonders with Kaede and Shippo. Now, it was Sango's turn, then Miroku's. Inuyasha had decided to keep him last; he looked like a challenge and the most filled……with chaos, whatever reason that might be.
"You've been quite a miracle, you know that Yasha? Everyone was such a mess before you came. Now…it seems…almost back to normal."
That's my plan.
Then Sango sighed, a heart felt, tragic sigh. "But it will never be the same…never again. It's strange how easy it was to…I guess overlook Inuyasha. He was just…always there, either sitting in a tree or eating a bowl of ramen," Sango chuckled reminiscently, "or arguing with someone……or protecting…all of us. He was so important, but I never…thought about how much. Now, that he's gone…..I don't…feel safe anymore."
Inuyasha opened his eyes in slight surprise. You don't feel safe…?
Sango gaze turned pained as she stared off to the middle distance, "I've always been the older sister, taking care of my younger brother and being the responsible one. But then…I joined this group…became a part of this family…….and Inuyasha….became my older brother. He took care of everyone…like an older brother, protected everyone and took all the responsibility of being the leader of our…pack. He watched everyone at night, saved us all from I don't know how many dangers……I always felt safe knowing that he would be there."
A faint trace of salt licked his nose and Inuyasha placed his head on her knee, staring up at her with awed amber eyes. An older brother……
Sango rubbed at her eyes but it was of no use. "I…I, ah…I don't feel safe anymore. I keep thinking that Inuyasha is really sitting in a tree somewhere and watching for danger…..but he's not….he's dead and now we're all alone. No one could ever take his place, no one…..we're all alone. Everything seems so…bleak now. I didn't know how much….we…we…loved him!" Sango shut her eyes tight as tears squeezed out of their corners, laying her head on the back of the wall, her chest began to hiccup with sobs.
Inuyasha sat on her lap and licked her chin. Sango wrapped her arms around him, like so many others had, and more tears came. "It's selfish….but I don't want the responsibility……I want Inuyasha to do it…like he did so well……I feel so awful that we never said thank you or something….it must have been so hard…we…we took advantage of him. Inuyasha…..why do I keep losing more and more members of my family? Why?"
The hanyou pup sighed through his nose and snuggled into her chest. I wish I could talk…yeah, but I'd probably say the wrong thing……Sango, my family…I had no idea you would all act this way…feel so strongly……damn, when is my body going to be finished?
Sango took some deep breaths and finally straightened, smiling down at the pup as she wiped her eyes. "Sorry, but I bet you're used to it though, huh? It's a bit surprising how much you look like him,' she rubbed his ear and then gazed off to the side. "I miss Inuyasha…but life does have to go on. We have to get our revenge on that damn bastard, Naraku," her hand clenched, "and we also have to get rid of the jewel. I've dealt with deaths before…the pain should lessen soon."
Inuyasha nodded gratefully and licked her cheek, the girl laughed. "You really are a miracle….Hey…Have you done…Miroku yet, Yasha?" Sango sighed and a single tear trailed down her cheek, "I think he's the one you should help next…and most of all…besides Kagome that is. It must have been so hard for her….I should really be there for her, since I'm her friend. I've been so depressed lately…and I didn't know what to say. I can't be all, 'oh, the man you loved is gone and is never coming back so get over it'." She chuckled dryly, "I've been so horrible….I haven't even tried to help Miroku either…and he seems to be in so much pain. He hasn't groped me at all since….and none of the other women in the village too."
Inuyasha eyes narrowed speculatively. Oh, really…that's amazing…
"…stop being such a lech…"
Is he really…trying to follow what I said….is that why he's so depressed. No…it's something more…something worse than a lost 'hobby'.
The taijiya sighed and pushed Inuyasha off her lap, petting his head lovingly, "Well, thanks for listening Yasha, you're a good dog. Now, I better get back to work. I'll find Kagome later…and maybe ask her to go bathing with me, like before…that'll be nice. I don't think Miroku would follow us…there's something wrong with him…can you do me a favor Yasha…and help Miroku? You can't talk but you have no idea how nice it is just to have someone there."
She ruffled his hair once more before picking up her hammer and setting back to work. I'll always be here Sango, for all of you. Now, to find Miroku…get ready monk, you're next. Yasha sniffed and scratched his ear with his hind leg and trotted down the road, several villagers taking the time to pet him and give him treats, as he looked around for the once perverted monk.
The night air was brisk and cruel as it slapped against his pale skin, playing with the many thick folds of his kimono. The damp dark grass crunched by the added weight as he silently walked through the forest, branches seemed to bend for him and the moon brightened a clear white path to his destination.
He still couldn't make himself believe it, though his nose never lied when that thick disgusting stench had floated along the wind. But he had to see it for himself; he had to see if it was true.
It was silent as he came upon the grave. A tense silence as his golden eyes raked down the wilting flowers and rotting food littering the soil around a makeshift stone etched with fluid characters of his brother's name.
A cold claw eased at his insides, he was used to that feeling of winter chill, but this time it shivered all the way through his limbs freezing his very regal blood to the core.
His younger brother was dead.
Sesshomaru stood absolutely still not even swaying by the night wind or locked knees and he stayed there for an unknown time just staring at Inuyasha's final resting place.
Inuyasha was dead.
He had never been this close to shock and the small flickers of unidentified emotions deep inside himself had him blink in curiosity.
He gripped the hilt of his Tenseiga, the only movement he had made thus far, and waited another tense moment. He didn't know why he wanted to feel his sword's pulse, the notion that there was still a soul and he could bring the dead back to the living, and he didn't understand another unsettling feeling that weighed down in his gut.
The sword had remained silent and that only meant one thing.
Inuyasha was really gone and Sesshomaru couldn't bring him back.
But why did he even want to bring his useless half brother back anyway?
Because I was not the one who ended his life. It was a simple answer and it eased the feelings back into the hard arctic place he had created for them all those years ago. It was only disappointment that was the only thing, he wanted to rid of the world of his bastard brother and he had not succeeded.
Naraku had.
Sesshomaru's nose was still coated by the unrelenting reek of that pathetic demon mixed with the scent of death and Inuyasha's blood. Naraku had actually killed him and for some reason that irked him.
But only because he was not the one to kill Inuyasha, that was the only reason.
"You failed little brother. Always so cocky and arrogant but you let such a pathetic demon, even more than yourself, to destroy you." The royal dog demon spoke passively with a bland face as always.
"I thought you said you were strong but it was only arrogant talk. You've proved that you really are not worthy of father's blood." His hand around the hilt of his sword was growing tense and even paler.
"You were weak, just like your mother, a worthless human." Sesshomaru's chilling voice was tight and his golden eyes pooled with red. "I was supposed to kill you. Inuyasha, you wretched hanyou, you stupid half breed, you weren't supposed to die!"
Wood splintered and cracked as the demon gave in to the quick burst of rage, an unfortunate branch littering the ground. Sesshomaru blinked and straightened gracefully, willing his eyes to flicker back to amber and his cool façade to fall back to place.
Somehow…an emotion had broken free of that cold dark place within him. But anger was allowed…it was the other feelings…that would destroy him…those were kept under lock and key. However, he could feel them raging and churning within him, like a thunderous storm urging to break free. He had to keep them under strong rein, he was not to ever show emotion besides anger or hatred…it was unacceptable.
Willing his hand to relax from Tenseiga's hilt he gave an inaudible sigh, the air whisking past his nostrils.
He knew he was there long before he made himself known.
"Do you know the details of how your brother died, Sesshomaru?" Miroku asked calmly, no hint of fear or anxiety given away in his now haunted violet gaze. He almost looked like the dog demon himself. The monk's staff jingled eerily as he walked towards Sesshomaru. "Do you know what happened on that desolate battle field?"
Sesshomaru didn't spare a single glance towards his brother's companion. "I know…what my nose told me. Naraku has succeeded in killing Inuyasha. It is proof by what we're standing before."
Miroku stopped off to the side of him and gazed thoughtfully and a hint of sadness at the hanyou's grave. "It is true…Naraku did succeed in killing him but it was not in the way you have believed it to be."
"And what is that, monk?" Sesshomaru turned, not able to stare at the gravestone no longer.
Miroku met his eyes unflinchingly and he held contact with him as he spoke. "What are the qualities of a pack leader, Sesshomaru? What are the holy and noble requirements of a great dog demon leader, such as your father, I am told."
The demon was momentarily taken aback by the question though he did not show it. "An honorable pack leader for my kind would be someone who is brave and would willingly go into battle for his pack, to protect them with his own life."
"Would you respect anyone that would have done that?" Miroku's eyes were sparkling with a fine regret and wisdom. He looked much older than his true young age.
Sesshomaru didn't hesitate and there was no flinch in his emotionless voice, "Yes."
The monk nodded, satisfied with something unknown to the dog demon and looked back at the grave. "Would you like to know the whole story of how…your younger brother met his end?"
"You would tell me either way."
Miroku gave akin to something of a smile, but it was really only a ghostly twist of his mouth. "True, but will you listen?"
"Yes, monk, now speak." He was staring to grow irritated with all these questions and riddles.
Miroku sighed and turned completely to stand in front of Inuyasha's burial place; he closed his eyes and muttered a quick prayer before talking. His voice sounded far away and his hooded eyes stared to the middle distance. "It was meant to be the final battle…we were doing so well…..Naraku had his moments but we were all holding our own…especially Inuyasha. I believe your father would have been proud of how well Inuyasha can," Miroku cleared his throat, "…could handle his bequeathed sword."
"It should have gone to me."
The monk gave another sigh, "But it did not, and you should accept that. Now, to get on with the story…no matter how painful it is…Inuyasha was about to deliver the final blow with his wind scar when Naraku…distracted him…"
Sesshomaru's gaze narrowed, "Inuyasha got distracted in battle," it was more of a bitter statement than a question, "he was pathetic…"
Miroku spun at him with fire flaming in his eyes and he stalked to his front, "Don't you dare to ever call Inuyasha pathetic! Or I will feel no hesitation to suck you into my hand!"
Sesshomaru's eyes once more flashed red, "He was pathetic! A weak excuse for a demon! He was not worthy of carrying my father's blood or his sword!"
Miroku showed no fear of Sesshomaru's demon strength or the fact that he could easily kill him, "You said you would respect any demon that would die for his pack in the heat of battle! To protect his family with his very life! Didn't you!"
"Yes, I did…!"
"Well, let me tell you what really happened on that God damn battle field! Naraku tricked my dear friend, he predicted what noble thing Inuyasha would do if anyone was threatened from his pack, and he used that to his advantage! Naraku, that God damn bastard was going to kill us but Inuyasha jumped in front of the blast!"
Sesshomaru's words he was about to utter died in his throat, leaving his mouth slightly parted, the only hint of the bone shattering shock he was feeling. "What…"
Miroku was shaking from his rage and pain, his eyes glassy and shrouded with regret, guilt, and grief. "Inuyasha died by the wounds he received by saving us, by protecting his pack. He died because of his love for us!" Miroku smiled cynically, "So…do you respect him, Sesshomaru? Do you respect that pathetic half demon…that hanyou you bitterly call brother…who died as honorably and bravely as your father!"
Sesshomaru didn't answer, his amber eyes flicking to Inuyasha's grave. It couldn't be true…Inuyasha was a sad excuse for a demon…tainted and filthy by human blood……but he actually risked and lost his life to the protection of his pack. Could he really respect that his half brother, which he despised and hated to his very being, had died more bravely than any demon? Who had been a better pack leader than most that had ever lived? Could he get past his age old hatred to come to respect his younger half brother?
He was brought back to reality by Miroku's next words, the haunted and stone etched mask again firmly plastered onto his face. "Would you like to hear another thing about your brother? Would you like to hear what he told me to tell you while his life's blood was draining from his body and the Great Spirit was calling for his soul?"
Miroku went on without any indication that Sesshomaru really wanted to know.
"You both hated each other to the very depths of your being, and you didn't pause on showing it. You always had a reason, a stupid one, but a reason none the less but Inuyasha, however, only seemed to hate you because you hated him. His life was hard and cruel…you should have been there…you should have been his older brother," Miroku glared at the now passive Sesshomaru but you could just see the hint of the storm raging in his golden eyes, "He needed an older brother…you were the one that failed him…..but even so, Inuyasha did something remarkable while he was dying…he asked me…to tell you that he was….that he was proud to be called your brother."
Sesshomaru eyes widened by an almost unnoticeable fraction of an inch, a bucket of ice water downed into his stomach and a strange tightness clutched at his chest.
Miroku went on determinedly, "There was no fear in his eyes…there was no anger or hatred….only pain and…and happiness…he died with a clean conscious surrounded by his family…except you. You failed him, Sesshomaru…but Inuyasha forgave you and I could see the little boy in his eyes also…the one who still looked up to you and…and loved you. So tell me…what do you think of your worthless half brother now?"
Again Sesshomaru didn't answer and only kept staring at his little brother's grave. Miroku nodded to himself and then he looked up at the night sky. I have done what you asked Inuyasha…I pray…I hope that you are satisfied…His staff tinkling with its mournful tune, the monk walked away into the dark forest, leaving Sesshomaru all by himself with his thoughts.
Dammit Miroku! Where are you? Inuyasha's little lungs were burning and heaving as he dodged each tree, sniffing the air. The villagers said that they saw you go in here but where are you now? Dammit! You better not be getting yourself killed!Inuyasha's little lungs were burning and heaving as he dodged each tree, sniffing the air.
The hanyou knew of the dangers that hid themselves in the depths of his forest, the demons, though not large could still cause some harm to an unsuspecting human. And let's not forget bears or wolves.
Maybe…he's at the Goshinboku tree…Inuyasha panted and changed directions. I'm too small for this.
Yasha slowed to a halt as he neared his grave, gloomy and desolate in the moon's shine. This is where they buried me…my body is under there…It was a strange concept to look at your own grave, no to watch your very own funeral, it made everything feel all topsy turvy and you forget that you are the one they're mourning about. What will happen to that body when my new one comes…it is just ashes now but……will I destroy this grave once I come back?
The pup's little paws crunched and slicked off the dew grass as he neared his 'final resting spot'. Wait…what is…? Inuyasha's eyes widened and he frantically began sniffing the grass and the air, twirling around in circles and zig zags.
The forest did a good job covering it up but Inuyasha couldn't miss it.
He couldn't deny it either, his nose was always right.
His older brother had been at his grave not to long ago.
Sesshomaru…why would you come to my grave? But Yasha would have to ponder about that later as he caught a whiff of Miroku scent following out deeper to the forest. Aug, Dammit!
He bounded into the darkness.
The scent got stronger and stronger as he followed some peculiar jingling and slamming sounds. Inuyasha knew the jangling sound to be of Miroku's staff but it sounded like…like there was a struggle going on. Maybe he's using his staff to fight a demon!
With a protective adrenaline boost he ran with all his might to the sounds of battle…but when he tumbled to a stop in the safety of a concealing bush he saw that Miroku was actually…all alone.
Inuyasha was stunned as he watched the monk grit his teeth and attack a tree's trunk with his metal staff. Wood splinters flying around him and dents marring his precious monk belonging. There was sweat cascading down his face and he was grunting and roaring with choked screams of rage.
Inuyasha had never seen the usually calm and serene monk so angry.
The hanyou's ears twitched as Miroku began to yell something as he hit the tree, "Damn, Sesshomaru! Damn that bastard Naraku! Damn everything! Why did everyone make his life such a living hell! Why…WHY? WHY DID HE HAVE TO DIE?"
Yasha's eyes widened more as Miroku threw his staff to the ground and began punching the tree. The puppy winced as he heard the crack of the monk's hands.
"He didn't have to die!" punch, "He wasn't meant to die!" Punch.
"He…
Punch
….should not…
Punch
…have died!"
Punch, punch, punch.
The tree suffered no damage except of the staining red of the monk's blood. It was reeking in Inuyasha's nose, making him dizzy. Why was Miroku doing this? What had made him so angry?
Even though his hands were bruised and broken, the monk didn't stop his self mutilation and torture, still punching the tree with all his might. Not noticing the pain at all.
"He shouldn't have died! Dammit, he's the most important one in our group! He has to defeat Naraku, he has to be here for Shippo and…and Kagome! I…I should have taken…his place," overcome with exhaustion, Miroku slumped to his knees, his head resting against the bloody trunk.
"I'm already going to die, I was destined to die by this curse," Miroku twitched his broken, bloody, bruised, and cursed hand, "He should not have suffered all that pain…..I should have jumped in front of that blast….not Inuyasha…He didn't deserve that pain…what did he do?"
Yasha then decided to make himself known and walked out of the bushes, making little noises in the back of his throat. Miroku opened his eyes groggily and looked at the snow white pup.
Dammit, Miroku, you look like hell. Haven't you been sleeping at all? Or eating? Why was it that when humans were grieving, they don't sleep or eat? Kagome had done it as well. But don't you remember when momma died? You didn't even feel like living…
Yes, he remembered that pain, it was horrible even with his demon blood. So was it worse for humans?
Make the pain go away….make him cry away the sorrow…make him laugh…make him want to keep living…
Inuyasha crawled on his stomach and licked Miroku's broken hand, blood stinging the sensitive buds on his tongue. He licked away the thick flowing liquid gently to not jar his snapped fingers. He let his instincts take over and took the pain away.
He stared up at the monk's hollow violet eyes, glassy and hazy; he didn't even look like he saw the hanyou. Standing up on his lap, Inuyasha placed his two front paws on Miroku's chest and licked his face but that didn't even make him blink.
Miroku…talk to me, say something…or just move dammit! Inuyasha began to grow irritated and growled but that didn't even rise a reaction to the man. Not taking any more of this, the pup finally nipped at Miroku's ear making the monk jump in sharp pain.
"Ow, Yasha that hurt…" he rubbed his offended ear delicately and then grimaced by the at last noticed pain in his hands. He lifted them in front of him and stared at them with uncaring eyes, like it was merely interesting to find that nearly every one of his fingers were broken.
He sighed and stood up, knocking Yasha to the ground in a huff. The man didn't seem to take notice of the dog's growl and bent down, picking up his golden staff.
Without even saying a word or blinking an eye, he gripped one of the sharp dangling rings and pulled it down his arm dreadfully slow, a rivulet of crimson blood trickling down his skin.
Holy shit, what the hell are you doing! Inuyasha barked frantically and ran to Miroku, who only dodged out of the way and continued with another long gash. Inuyasha twisted quickly and was able to sink his teeth into Miroku's ankle, making him yelp and drop his weapon. Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, why are you doing this?
"Get off of me, damn it! Don't you try to stop me! This pain is nothing compared to what Inuyasha went through!" He grabbed the scruff of Yasha's neck and tossed him unceremoniously to the side. "Leave me alone! I'm not needed! Let me finish! I should have died a long time ago, not Inuyasha! I should have saved him! I should have jumped in front of Naraku's damn blast!" He leaned down to grab his staff, his suicidal weapon of choice.
NO! Dammit, no I won't let you do this! Inuyasha snarled and ran, slamming into the monk's side, sending him to the ground. Miroku grunted in anger and tried to get back up but Yasha pounced on his stomach, effectively knocking the air out of him.
As he panted and stared wide eyed up at the night sky, Inuyasha laid on his chest and also tried to catch his breath and calm his nerves. The hanyou jolted as Miroku's chest began to jerk. He looked up at the man's face, salt stinging his nose, and sure enough tears were leaking out of the monk's violet eyes.
Miroku was crying.
The monk was actually crying…and it surprised the hanyou. Miroku was always the calm one, never screaming in anger or giving in to hysterics.
Until now.
Apparently the monk was a little surprised too as he groaned angrily and rubbed at his eyes with the back of his hand. But that didn't stop the grieving flow. He muttered something under his breath and rubbed harder.
Inuyasha leaned up and softly yanked Miroku's wrist away with his jaws, being careful not to puncture the delicate skin. You're going to rub your eyes out. Yasha gently wrapped his paws around the monk's arm and placed it under his chest. I'm not going to let you hurt yourself, anymore…you baka.
Miroku blinked dazedly, more tears trailing hot fiery trails down his cheeks. "Let…let go of my arm…Yasha…" His voice was weak and laced with exhaustion, hitching slightly by controlled sobs.
Inuyasha shook his head defiantly.
Miroku groaned and Yasha could feel his arm and shoulders relax as he laid back down on the grass, closing his eyes, no longer giving any mind to the tears.
The hanyou pup gripped his arm securely and rested his chin down on top of it, licking gently at his fingers.
"Yasha…go home….leave me alone…okay?" Inuyasha growled in response and continued soothing away the now clotting blood. "You don't need to be here…go away…" Yasha glared at him and made no movement. Miroku glared back, "I said go away!" He began to sit up, Inuyasha falling to his lap.
No, I won't leave. I knew you would be the hardest but you know I'm damn stubborn and I like a challenge. So I won't go until my job is done. He growled and sat insolently on the monk's crossed legs, glaring at him with bright amber orbs. Just try to stop me, I won't leave you alone.
Miroku kept up the glaring contest for a little longer but finally sighed dejectedly, "What the hell am I doing? I'm arguing with a dog." He rubbed his forehead and grimaced.
Hello, monk, your hands are broken…Inuyasha sighed himself and nosed both of Miroku's hands to lie on his knees. Yasha looked up at his bowed head and a single tear fell on his nose.
Miroku's violet blue eyes were hidden by lowered lashes and his voice was rugged and cracked, "I told myself that I wouldn't cry…actually I did a good job for the past week…I don't know why it's starting now……"
Inuyasha twisted his head to see him. The pain got too hard to bear…you should have expected it…you humans are so weak.
"I need to be strong though…I'm the only man left…..this is no time to start…." Miroku glared but before he could wipe his face with his wrecked hands, Inuyasha growled and shook his head.
"Yasha, you damn dog…get off!" His only response was another growl and the pup even bared his fangs as Miroku tried to move his arms. "Yasha…" he whispered threateningly but Inuyasha only snuffed and tilted his nose up in a 'make me' pose. Miroku contemplated on shaking the infuriating mutt but finally sighed, "Fine, you win. You can stay." Inuyasha gave a doggy grin and twisted into a circle before making himself comfortable on Miroku's lap, scratching his ear lazily and with a hint of self pride.
"By the Great Spirit above you are annoying…and so damn arrogant." Miroku shook his head as he was answered by innocent amber eyes. "It's almost like you can understand me and you look so much like him…must be why everyone's so taken with you, eh?'
Yasha nodded and grinned again.
Miroku actually chuckled but the slight tilt of his mouth quickly fell, "But you aren't…it's foolish to try to replace him with a mutt like you…"
Inuyasha growled. Hey!
"Sorry…but it's true…Inuyasha isn't coming back and they should all accept that…….I should accept that," He glanced at his red streaked arm. "I don't know what came over me….it felt like the only way to get rid of all the pain and the guilt would be to kill myself….I've seen many horrible and sad things in my life but I'm amazed this got me so hard." More tears and Miroku hung his head, "But he was my friend…a part of the family…our family……it's amazing I guess….how we could all care so much for a demon…..but I don't think it is...he was a hanyou but he still had feelings….he still had a soul."
Miroku looked up at the sky, the shine of the moon and the bright stars making his drifting tears to glitter and glisten. "Do you think….he's up in heaven, Yasha?"
Yasha made no move of an answer, staring at Miroku with a widened and intent gaze.
"I like to think so….I like to think that demons are allowed to go to heaven…that anybody could go to heaven no matter what you are……I like that thought," he looked down and there was a small smile gracing his lips, "I like that thought very much."
Yasha nodded and stretched slightly. I like that thought too.
"It still hurts you know…." Miroku's smile had fallen and there was a deep hurt in his unveiled eyes, "It hurts a lot…but it's supposed to be isn't it? My pain is probably nothing…compared to the to the physical pain…of any of the pain Inuyasha had to endure. I wish he never had to go through that, I wish he was still here…and that I had taken his place."
Inuyasha jumped up and licked his chin. Don't say that, baka, it's too late now okay? And besides everyone needs you…dammit Sango needs you…stop talking like this, stop acting like this! He jumped again by a small sound.
"Mi-Miroku, you can't mean that?" Miroku and Inuyasha turned to a grave looking Sango, fresh tears just now leaking out of her pained eyes. She was dressed in her everyday outfit but her boomerang was leaning against her shoulder.
"Sango," Miroku whispered softly, filled with pain and sorrow. "What are you doing here?"
She took a step forward, dropping her weapon, "You and Yasha had been missing for some time now, even missed dinner. I came to find you. Miroku…are you alright?" She gasped and ran to his side, "Oh my god, you're bleeding!"
Yasha hopped off of Miroku's lap and huffed in relief, Sango was here, she could handle the monk.
"Miroku, your hands…and your arm…what happened to you?" she gently traced a finger alongside his painful looking gash.
"It's nothing, Sango, go back to the village. I'll be fine…I…I just want to be left alone." She looked up and noticed his tear streaked face.
"No, Miroku, I'm not going any where. I…I think you have been left alone quite enough." Sango pulled out a handkerchief from her many pockets hidden in her clothes and grabbed one of his hands. She fingered the bruises and dried blood mournfully before wrapping it with the soft cloth. "You…you did this to yourself, didn't you?"
Miroku didn't answer.
"I know it's been difficult…but you can't hurt yourself…to…to make the pain go away…because it won't….not like that," after bandaging his other hand, Sango kneeled down to her knees in front of him and cupped Miroku's face, stroking the dried salt with her thumb. "I'm…I'm so sorry I haven't been there for you, Miroku….I was so engrossed in my own pain that I didn't notice until it was to late,' she glanced at his broken hands.
"Sango…please don't blame yourself…I can't take anymore guilt….it's not your fault." She sniffed and looked back into his pained eyes.
"Miroku……it's not your fault either you know…..you couldn't have done anything to stop….Inuyasha's death…..even if you could….it's to late now…it's to late…" She kissed his forehead and wrapped her arms around him, placing his face into her shoulder. "I understand what you're going through…….I wanted to do something too….I wanted to take Inuyasha's place too….I wished that I had died instead of him…'
Miroku gasped and reeled up to see her face, "Don't say that! I could never…I could never want you to die…don't say that…."
Sango smiled, "That's how I feel too, Miroku….I need you and I don't want you die either…I don't want to see you in so much pain……I want to make it go away….I'm sorry it took me so long……oh, Miroku," she hugged him again and Miroku gave it back, burying his face into the cloth of her kimono. She tugged her fingers through his hair, releasing it from its band, and stroking his black silky locks. "Oh Miroku…"
"I love you, Sango…" she gasped, her eyes wide, by the monk's muffled exclamation. He hugged her tighter, "I'm so sorry for everything I've done to you but I love you….oh, God, I've loved you for so long….dammit Sango….I need you so much….especially right now…" she could feel the moisture of his pain dampen her clothes.
"Shhhh, Miroku….it's okay….it'll be okay….I Love you too… longer than I can I remember…I love you and I'm right here….I'll take care of you….I need you…it'll be okay….I'm right here…I'll make it all better…..shhhhh…." she stroked his back and kept whispering in his ear until the shaking ceased and then they were merely holding one another.
Inuyasha nodded his head in satisfaction. About time, good job you guys. I hope you'll be happy together.
Smiling his doggy smile he turned and began walking back to the village, leaving the couple alone, and heading to his own love.
A.N I made this super long and I would have made it longer but you guys have waited long enough and what I was planning on writing may get too long. It'll be in the next chappie. Now, review and tell me if I portrayed Sessho's character right. He is so super hard and I want to know how you guys felt I did. Oh, and sorry about making Miroku sucidal, that is way OOC but hey, his friends died, that can really mess you up.