Warning

This story is not suitable for readers under the age of sixteen. It contains sexual content, including some non-consensual, and may offend some readers. If this subject is offensive to you, please do not read this story.

Chapter 36 – Bewitching the Mind

Hermione was successful in her search for information on memory spells, and headed for the dungeon after lunch in a very cheerful mood. Severus smiled at the sight of her, as she stepped lightly into the classroom, and pulled her into his arms.

"Miss Granger," he growled, "it is now six hours and fifty-three minutes since you left my chambers, and I could not have survived another moment without you!"

She giggled. "Maybe next time I should stay away for six hours and fifty- four minutes, just to find out," she laughed.

Her happy expression did not go unnoticed, and he asked her what she was so excited about.

"I have an idea," she told him, "about how to deal with Malcolm Baddock." A hint of caution entered his eyes, and she rushed on, eager to explain her plan. "I've been looking up Memory Spells in the library and ... "

"NO!" His exclamation surprised her.

She had her hands on his chest, and he reached up to grip her wrists, holding them tightly. There was anger in his eyes, and his strong grip was beginning to hurt her. "What's wrong?" she asked him, urgently.

His voice was low and his breathing fast – she couldn't quite read his emotions, but she could sense anger and almost ... fear. "Don't even think about that!" he told her quickly. "It would be better for us to be found out!"

This was ridiculous. How could he possibly have a problem with this? But his eyes told her that he was very serious about it, and there was something in them that she didn't at all like. The situation frightened her – partly at the fact that his anger was something to which she was not accustomed, and partly and the sight of him so ... disturbed by this. "What are you talking about, Severus?' she asked hurriedly. "Tell me what's wrong!"

His face was pained and angered at the same time, and she could not fathom this reaction at all. "Don't be so stupid, Hermione!" he snapped at her. "You should know why we can't just alter Baddock's memory!"

Hermione's wrists hurt her in his vice-like grip, but it was his tone that was prompting the tears that were threatening her eyes. He continued. "Didn't you learn anything from that idiot Lockhart?" he demanded. "He not only screwed with the minds of everyone he exploited, he eventually fell victim to his own idiocy!"

"But memory charms were his specialty!" she responded, in defense.

Severus' tone rose a notch. "And look at where it got him! Do you think he ever recovered from that botch he made of his last spell?" he demanded. Hermione's body was shaking now, and she tried to pull away from him, but his grasp was too strong. His voice was fierce as he continued. "And what about Bertha Jorkins? Barty Crouch was hardly an amateur, and he managed to damage her memory permanently!"

Hermione was beginning to see why this was bothering him so much, but her unexpected fear did not abate. For the first time since he had taken her by force, she was afraid of him, and cowered away. "I'm sorry, Severus!" she whispered, breathing hard.

"The 'Obliviate' spell is not something you can simply play with at will, Hermione! What do you want to do? Eliminate his memory for the last week? It will be noticed. People will ask questions. We've not exactly been models of discretion, you know! If other people start poking around into this, we will be found out as easily as Baddock found out about us!"

Without warning, he released her.

Stepping away from the angry wizard, Hermione rubbed her wrists, trying to get the blood flowing back into her numbed fingers. She didn't like this side of him – what had happened to the loving man who had held her as she arrived?

He turned away from her, steadying himself against the desk, then turned back. His voice was calmer, but his eyes still contained the same burning fury. "Hermione, " he said evenly, "I've violated one student, through my selfishness. Don't make me do that again!"

"Severus, you're scaring me."

He didn't seem to have heard her. "Just because I'm not like McGonagall or Dumbledore, doesn't mean that I don't feel a responsibility to my students!" She could hear the rage underneath the quiet voice. "How can you suggest calmly wiping the mind of a boy like that, just to protect ourselves? Playing with someone's mind is not something to be taken lightly, Hermione!"

"I didn't ... " She began to attempt to defend herself, then suddenly realized the hypocrisy of his statement. Her patience snapped, and she rounded on him, angry at the way he was treating her over this, but still with an edge of surprise and fear at his unexpected behavior. "Wait a minute – how can you say that?" she demanded. "Whatever happened to 'bewitching the mind and ensnaring the senses'?"

Snape's response was fierce. "There is a big difference between altering someone's perceptions, and risking irreversible damage to their mind!" He took a step towards her, and Hermione had to force herself not to step away. She thought that the movement was so slight that it would not be noticed, but he stopped, proving otherwise. His hand reached up to his head, his fingers running through his hair, as his face turned to the floor. He seemed to be staring intently at the ground for a few moments, forcing his breathing into long, deep gulps for air, then looked up at her, eyes intently focused on hers. "Hermione," he said slowly and deliberately, "the results of the 'Obliviate' spell are unreliable, at best. And even if we could guarantee success, we would have no right to use it." She tried to tear her eyes away, but could not do it, and his voice acquired a touch of understanding "I know that you want to stop Baddock from having any hold over us, but you must trust me on this. I promise that I will not allow him to destroy things for us."

Hermione gazed into the eyes of her lover for a long time. She felt – so many things. Anger at his attitude to her. Hurt by his harsh words and tone. Fear of his rekindling of the memories of violence. Shame over her foolish assumption that she could make the spell work better than Barty Crouch had managed. She had realized quickly that Snape was right about this, but his anger was all wrong. A part of her wanted to run to him for comfort and forgiveness, but at the same time she wanted to run from the office in fear of him.

Numbly, she looked away from him, and nodded slowly. "I think I'd better go, now, Severus," she whispered. She did not meet his gaze, but could detect no motion from him. She stood in silence for a moment, then turned and stepped out of the dungeon classroom, quietly closing the door behind her.

Snape did not follow.

- - -

It took a few days for Hermione to forgive Severus for his behavior, and a few more to begin to forget the anger she had seen in his face. Anger at her, with which she had to come to terms. It was only when she thought back to Christmas, and his own professions of fear of his volatile emotions, that she managed to force herself to accept that this was just a part of the man she loved. She had to trust him – not only to handle Baddock, as he had requested, but also to keep a check on his emotions. He was entitled to his opinion, and even to his anger – it was only his strength as he had held her wrists that had brought back terrible memories of his earlier violence against her. Memories of the violence of which she knew he was capable, but she had to trust him to control it.

For the next week, Hermione worked diligently on her project. It gave them both a focal point on which to regain some lost confidence, and allowed their emotions to settle a little, while still spending time together. It was an awkward time for their relationship, with both uncomfortable about what had happened, but time gradually helped them through it. As the end of January approached, their argument had been almost forgotten, and their discomfort had disappeared.

Hermione had left her mother's letter unopened for two days before finally feeling that she had the strength to read it. It was not quite as bad as she had expected – although it was bad enough. Snape read the letter with interest, when she showed it to him, and seemed unsurprised by the tone. The gist was that when Hermione returned home for the summer, 'That Snape' would not be welcome, although her parents would not stand in her way should she choose to visit him during the holidays. Given the fact that it was written by her mother, it could have been much worse!

During all this time, Malcolm Baddock continued to be a constant presence. Snape's ability to predict Baddock's behavior was uncanny. The first list of demands had been simply to test the waters, and he was now growing bolder. The teacher's claim to have a rather detailed knowledge of the workings of the mind of a blackmailer, proved completely true, as demonstrated by his ability to manipulate the third-year. From the secrecy of the doorway at the back of the potions classroom, Hermione had watched several of the encounters, unseen. Giving the impression that he was willing to co-operate, Snape gave Baddock just enough of what he wanted to keep him happy, without allowing him to think that this was too easy.

"He will gradually grow more confident," Snape had told her, "but I will make sure that he does not get too sure of himself too quickly." Watching the two, Hermione could not understand how either of them could be so calm in their game of bluff and counter-bluff. She was beginning to see her lover's point that Baddock would gain nothing by going to Dumbledore, as long as he was kept contented with small victories against his victim. "However," Snape warned her, "at the moment, I can keep him satisfied with crumbs, thinking that he is doing well. At some point, he will begin to set his sights on the whole cake!"

Hermione was not comfortable with this news. "What will you do then?" she asked, nervously.

Snape laughed. "Don't worry, my darling. When it gets to that stage I have one or two ideas for keeping the wolf at bay!"

The student could see no grounds for this assurance, but deciding to rely on her gut feeling, instead of her logic, she suddenly realized that she had full confidence in his ability to deal with this. Maybe Severus' dubious history had its advantages after all!

- - -

Snape sat alone in his room, enjoying the crackling of the fire, as he read a poem from the book Hermione had given him for Christmas. If he had allowed himself, he would have finished the whole book within a few hours, but he had been very strict with himself about not doing so. Allowing himself only a page or a poem per day, he was determined to lengthen his enjoyment of the gift. Today's entry was a poem (regretfully short) about the influence that one person can have on another. He smiled, considering the tremendous impact that Hermione had had on him – his life, his emotions, even his character – in such a short time. Things had been a little strained for a few days, true, but that was gradually blowing over. He knew that his anger towards Hermione over that 'Obliviate' idea had hurt her. He couldn't help that, but neither could he regret it. She had been wrong, and she now seemed to accept that – it was his manner that had upset her. They had discussed it, albeit briefly, and he knew that there was nothing he could say to alter how she felt. What she needed was a little time and space to come to terms with it, and he had been happy to grant her that. It had unquestionably affected their relationship – there was a slight tension between them, and less comfort and warmth – but he knew that this was temporary. Nothing could damage their love permanently. What they needed was something to bring closure to the incident. Something to draw them together, and help them bring back the ease and comfort to which they had become accustomed.

He smiled as an idea formed in his mind. Hermione's upcoming birthday would be an ideal time to do something special, and if he planned this well, it would not only complete the return of their former closeness, it might also have a big – and hopefully positive – influence on the situation between Hermione and her mother – one way or another.