Finally an update. I am so sorry for the wait. I tried countless times to write this, but time after time my writer's block won. I sure did update THE SILENT HANYOU a lot though. Thank you for sticking with me !
And now I apologize because I'm going to make you wait for a long time once again.
But believe me when I update again...there will be like FIVE CHAPTERS (hopefully that many) I PROMISE! And Inuyasha would have gotten his body back! So don't fret the wait will be worthwhile!
And the only excuse I can give for Inu's slight OOcness (besides the fact that I always make these characters OOc, but no one seems to really flame me for it) is because it's his own personal thoughts. Everyone's true blue side is hidden in their head, well...welcome to Lilyasha's version of what would be happening in Inuyasha's head! Kay? Got it? Good.
Also with the SHIT thing...hmm...shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit...lol, okay I'm sorry, I didn't even know I was using it too much. I'll be sure to edit and lower those numbers down.
And aBIG thank you straight from my heart to angel8818 my beautiful and wonderful FFWAP reviwer for this story...I LOVE YOU! YAY! Without her I never would have gotten the enthusiasm to beat my ass to finish this chapter. THANK YOU! ALL HAIL THE ANGEL! YEAH!
THIS IS DEDICATED TO YOU! (If you hate Kikyou, then not this chapter...oh, just pick the chapter that you want to be dedicated to) AGAIN...THANK YOU!
WARNING! WARNING! Kikyou is OOC, I repeat Kikyou is OOC! but I don't care, I'm through with her...grumbles...stupid Kikyou...
All my love...
LilYasha
Always There
CH 12
She looked about ready to throw up.
And she looked like shit too.
Little Yasha's chest tightened in pity by her features, stretched and flagged in some places, pale and thin, death was forever knocking at her door.
And she would most likely never answer.
Kikyou, look what's happened to you…I'm so sorry…He took a step forward and she nearly flipped.
The dog-hanyou soon found himself staring down an arrows' point, gleaming in the moonlight.
His ears filled with the dead maiden's raspy breaths.
Along with his own.
He was no demon boy right now, he probably couldn't dodge it if she ever fired that thing, and if it hit him…well, he would have opened that door.
Again.
Oh, damn…Inuyasha gulped and tried to back up. Kikyou practically growled and waved her weapon.
"Don't move dammit! Take one step and I'll shoot! I won't let you take me! Do you hear me? I'm not ready to die!" If it was possible, she paled when he looked up into her ghostly gray eyes.
What the hell are you talking about? He lifted his paw and there was that arrow trembling in front of his nose again. Okay, okay! I won't move, but please be careful with that thing! Sheesh!
Kikyou was vaguely astonished by the bone cracking fear tumbling in her gut. How strange, even human she never felt such a horrendous wave of it. But just having those cute, and terribly familiar, ears twitch had her nerves on edge. No, calm down. Take a deep breath. Think rationally. If he is here to take me to hell, it's not like I can kill him.
Inuyasha blinked, when his past love suddenly lowered her weapon. He held his breath, deciding not to tempt fate, but when she slung her bow over her back and knelt down to his level, he figured it would be okay to move now. Sighing, Inuyasha sat and shone her, his ever so cute puppy grin, the one no one could ignore.
And of course it worked, her face relaxed some and she cocked her head to the side. "I don't know why….but…you're not here to take me to hell are you?"
Oh, so that's what you were talking about. Inuyasha snorted, his version of a laugh, and shook his head.
Kikyou gave sigh of relief and tentatively reached out her hand. Inuyasha eagerly stepped forward and pushed his head into her palm, begging for an ear scratch.
Damn body and its needs.
His ears twitched by a tiny chuckle. Her thin wiry fingers then slowly twirled and grazed his sensitive appendages.
Was it just me…or did she just laugh kind of? Inuyasha shook his head, not really caring at the moment, and rolled over on his back, his legs kicking.
The dead priestess took the hint and began to rub his stomach.
Inuyasha groaned with pleasure.
Kikyou raised a brow. "What has happened to you, Inuyasha? You are dead and now in a dog's body. If you are not here to bring me death…than what is your calling?"
He yawned and lifted his eyelids to look up at her. He was transfixed for a moment by a strange rosy sheen beginning to fill her cheeks.
What the…?
No, my eyes must be tricking me. Or I'm just really exhausted…
Now to answer her question…but how? Couldn't talk, remember?
Inuyasha shrugged. Best he could do.
Her eye brows furrowed, "Have you been reincarnated?"
He shook his head.
"Than why are you here? You cannot kill Naraku as a puppy." Her lips twitched and she then realized…she was smiling.
Something was amiss.
Yasha smirked, a great doggy feat, and stood up on his hind legs giving a tiny lick on her chin. Right now, I guess I'm here to see how you've been. Hello, Kikyou.
Kikyou blinked by his little kiss and couldn't help smiling again. She flicked his ear. "Well, whatever reason. You are quite…cute, Inuyasha."
He barked and wagged his tail, a cocky little flip.
She rolled her eyes.
What was wrong with her? The pain was gone…her chest felt incredibly…light. And all these re-awakening emotions…?
This only happened usually when…
Kikyou narrowed her eyes and stood up, he cradled in her chest. "Your love is coming Inuyasha. The one you have chosen…she must have followed you."
Kagome? He reared up and looked all around, sniffing wildly. He was brought back when Kikyou muffled a kiss in his fur.
"I am…jealous of her, Inuyasha. I…I still love you…but I wanted to say…that I understand."
Why was this happening to her---didn't she just say she hated the girl? Dammit, Kagome was coming closer. They were going to seize her. This was her only chance. Redeem herself—for whatever reason—and then get away!
"I had always known…that you two were meant to be. It does fill me with a sense of…well-being I suppose…to know that at least I am a part of her. At least a small portion of me will know the love…that I lost from you…that I betrayed."
The words just kept coming.
Inuyasha couldn't close his mouth.
What the hell? What happened to the old Kikyou? First she loved me, hated me, tried to kill me, is scared of me…and is now apologizing? Okay, something's not right!
(Yeah, that's me, making her TOO OOC! Damn she's a hard character. I just want to get her over with. So bear with me.)
His skin tingled when Kagome's special aura made itself known.
Yep, she had followed him.
It wouldn't be good if she found him like this!
Uh oh…
Kikyou opened her eyes and abruptly placed him on the ground. "There is not much time. I must go….but before I do…please forgive me for what I have done…and will soon do."
What is she talking about? Oh man! She's not planning to kill me is she? Not like this, not now! Inuyasha paused, horrible imaginings coming to light. Ah, she must mean Kagome! She's going to kill her! Oh, dammit, no you're not! I won't let you! He began to growl, his hair rising, teeth bore.
Kikyou just stared at him with a sad smile and a raised brow. "I am sorry Inuyasha. I hope my magic will not harm you. But I fear this will be our last encounter…I do not want my last memory of you to be in a dog's body…Forgive my actions…past and present…"
With a wave of a hand, a strange tingle swept up his legs and down his spine. For a brief moment, Inuyasha was blind, his eyes sheered by an overwhelming white light, pure and warm. His mind frozen in place, he could not comprehend on why he felt like he was floating…
Was he dying…?
Would he awake in that darkness once more…?
At least…it wasn't as painful…as last time…
But suddenly the brightness dissipated and with a few blinks, he could see clearly again; a high doggy yip escaped his lips.
He was face to face with Kikyou!
He had grown!
It was the attack of dog-zilla!
Inuyasha circled around, fear icing his insides, what had she done?
He had feet!
And hands…human hands!
His red haori, white hair cascading down his shoulders and falling in his eyes…he didn't have a snout anymore!
Holy shit, he had a regular nose! (Sorry,didn't want toedit that one)
He whirled around to face his past love, trying to squash the hope rising in his throat, it couldn't be!
Kikyou, what did you do? How did you—…
What the…?
He had no voice…his words...they came out as barks…what was going on?
He startled him when Kikyou cupped his face with one hand, "It is only an illusion, my love. It is not real. In a moment…it will vanish and you shall be a dog again. I-I could not bear to not see your normal face once more…please forgive me…"
Inuyasha tilted his head and reached out his hand to caress her cheek…he felt nothing…she was right. He stared at his hand, and noticed the ground transparent through the skin…it wasn't real…
His hope died.
He sighed.
He could not feel it when Kikyou ran her fingers through his hair and kissed his temple. She stared into his eyes, "I think she would have made you happy Inuyasha…If you were still alive. I can see now that you two were meant to be…she healed your heart…the one that I broke. I am not sure what God has in store for you, my love…why you are trapped in that new body of yours…but somehow I feel…that death claimed you too early…that you still have so many things in store for you." She lightly kissed his flaccid and unfeeling lips.
"I hope this feeling is right…you deserve to live…" Her words ended in a whisper and she wrapped her arms around him, snuggling her face in his chest. Inuyasha sighed again…and gave a bittersweet smile, closing his eyes.
You're right about one thing Kikyou…I will be blessed with another try at life…I just hope that I do deserve it…
The warm glowing face of his one true love filtered into his mind's eyes when that blinding light took him once more.
Kagome…I hope you will always be in my life…forever on…I love you…
He didn't shrug off the light doze that took over him.
As he slept…Kagome ran breathlessly into the clearing.
"Y-Yasha! Oh thank you God…" She took a few steps forward, tears of relief welling up in her eyes. She had been so worried. Running off into the forest like that where dozens of dangerous animals and demons live, it had scared her to death! But there he was, napping in…in…
So tangled in her overwhelming feelings, she hadn't even noticed the person standing before her…Kagome stopped and her mouth fell open, "K-Kikyou…"
Yasha was sleeping in Kikyou's arms, snuggled close to her chest.
It was a little disconcerting.
Her shock worn off and Kagome went into a battle ready position, "What did you do to him, Kikyou? You put him down!"
Irritation flashed in the dead woman's eyes, "I have not harmed your precious dog. I found him in the forest. He was exhausted. He has been sleeping ever since." She turned to her reincarnation, her lips puckered in anger. "Be at ease, Kagome. I have no wish to battle with you this night."
Kagome bit her lip and slowly lowered her cocked bow and arrow. "Why are you here, Kikyou?"
She stiffened when the perished priestess walked towards her. "I am walking, young one. Thereare notmany things I can do in this world. Here…" Kikyou handed over the sleeping Inu-Yasha.
Kagome looked down into drooped amber eyes. "Oh, Yasha, you scared the hell out of me. Don't do that again, okay?"
He nodded with a yawn and made himself comfortable in her arms, succumbing to slumber.
Kagome sighed and kissed his forehead. She then looked up at her past life, anxiety wiggling in her gut. That always happened whenever she was in Kikyou's presence. "Well…um…I guess…thank you. For, you know, keeping him safe."
She was surprised when the older woman smiled. "You care for him very much don't you?"
"Yeah…yeah I do…" Kagome hugged the pup closer.
There was a pause. The two versions of one soul stared down at the slumbering dog.
Suddenly Kikyou spoke, calm and a little choked. "I…I am sorry for your loss…"
Kagome's head flew up, her eyes wide. She licked her dry lips, "Wha-what do you…"
Her incarnate's eyes were incredibly sad, pitying…and almost pleading, "I know what happened…what Naraku has done…how Inuyasha left this world."
She thought she was used to it, that she had passed that hurtle, but by just having Kikyou acknowledge it…the lump was reborn, salt stinging her brown orbs, "He uh….d-died…saving us…"
Kikyou nodded and put a hand on her shoulder, "I know your pain young one…I can feel it as plain as day…" She moved her hand to her heart, her throat bobbing. "I should go…"
"Why…where do you need to go Kikyou? I have to talk to you…I-Inuyasha…wanted me to talk to you…" Kagome stepped forward, her knees shaking, emotion clogging the back of her mouth.
She seemed surprise, "H-he….did…?"
Kagome nodded.
"But I can't….I can't…if I stay…" She trailed off.
Her reincarnation felt a crackling irritation, Kikyou was acting strange. It was starting to piss her off. "Stop talking in riddles. I'm not going to let you leave…okay? I'm not…going to be afraid of you…We have to talk…that's the last thing I need to do…the last thing Inuyasha wanted me to do…" Kagome grabbed her arm, tugging at the thick red cloth. "Please…just….talk to me…"
Kikyou tried to snap the mask back in place, her indifference, anger…but it wouldn't come…Kagome's soul was tugging at her own. And the link they shared, rekindled her frozen emotions.
She wanted to cry.
And most of all…she wanted company…being dead was a lonely business.
But she couldn't stay.
"N-no…."
Kagome did a good impression of a growl. "Yes."
Kikyou stared at her, and back down to the reborn soul of Inuyasha…she coughed and swallowed back the tears. "N-no…I can't…"
"Why not? Inuyasha asked me on his death bed to help you…help you find peace…I'm going to keep my promise, dammit!"
"But what if I don't want to find peace! Who would want to die? I don't need your help!" Kikyou seethed and struggled for breath, her icy heart causing her slight pain by its hurried throb.
Kagome's eyes lit up with sudden understanding, "You're…afraid…aren't you? Afraid to die…"
"Of course I am! Who wouldn't be?" She sniffed and slid to her knees, Kagome followed not yet releasing her hand clinging to the older woman's kimono.
The girl from the future placed down little Yasha and used her free hand to lift Kikyou's chin, meeting her glassy gaze. "I know Kikyou…I can feel it…through our bond…I know what you're feeling…I know that feeling all these emotions must trouble you…hurt you even…I'm sorry for that…"
"No don't be…don't be sorry…who knows what I would become…without this torment…"
Kagome felt no discomfort by the bloody tears trailing from Kikyou's eyes. Instead she hugged the distraught woman, patting her back. "You miss him don't you…you….you still love him…"
Kikyou gave a long suffering sigh, "Yes I do…but I have let him go…"
Kagome's eyes widened, "What?"
The dead priestess looked up and smiled, "I have let him go young one…he has chosen you…something I knew, deep in my heart, would happen…I have set him free…"
Kagome shuddered by the onslaught of tears wracking her form, "But he's gone! Dammit, you're too late! He's…he's gone…and he's never coming back…at least…not as he once was…oh, Inuyasha…"
Kikyou didn't know what controlled her to hold the sobbing girl; she was supposed to hate her. But yet…she could not find that anger. She was bonded to this young woman and right now, all she could feel…was rising sadness. And there was also a faint distinction of another emotion…something she had only felt when spending time with her younger sister Kaede…it was something she could not name…was almost afraid to…but it filled her heart with a small flicker of warmth.
She rubbed the girl's back and shushed in her ear, "Do not dwell in your grief any long, young one. You know he is always with you. And he will always love you…shush now…it will be alright. You shall see him again…that I am sure of…"
Kagome raised her head and wiped her eyes, "I wish I…was like you, Kikyou…I've always…"
She was surprised by the anger that admittancebrought. "Do not say such things! How dare you even utter those words! We are linked in many ways than one but never try to change who you really are, never damn yourself like that. My life has forever been in turmoil and pain; you do not wish to have that do you?" Kikyou grounded her teeth, vaguely shocked by the words that had left her mouth.
"But you're so good at fighting and staying calm, dammit, I can't even make a force field yet!"
"You must practice then! You have the same power as me Kagome; you must only learn to harness it. Besides…why be me...ever since I have met you…I have wanted to be you…"
"What! Why?"
"It should be simple to see, you can show emotion so easily. You trust others effortlessly and you have been able to do something I could never do…heal his heart…there are many things about you that has me to sin, that makes me feel…jealous…your heart and soul is so pure…mine is not…"
Kagome shook her head and straightened, "How can you say that? You have helped the sick, protected the innocent, and even gave your life to save everyone. How can you say that you're evil? That's not true!"
"You are so naïve and innocent" Kikyou smiled, "look at me Child…I am one of the dead…and for my sins…I deserve to be damned…"
"No you don't. I don't think you have left God's eyes or his heart…you're not lost yet, Kikyou. You've just made mistakes…but God knows we all do. Don't give up yet."
Kikyou's smile fell and she stared in wonder at her reincarnation; all that she had lost, all that she had done, what she had wrongly accused…and yet, this girl did not hold hatred for her.
"I can see now why he chose you…you are special young one. I believe you will change the world." Kikyou sniffed, "I must go…but before I do, please forgive me for the torture and pain I have brought you."
The young girl shook her head and Kikyou held up her hand. "No, do not say anything. Just please accept my heart felt apologies. And also keep my words close to you…never fall into the darkness, like I have. You will see tragedies…and the horrors of the world…but please…never let it harden your heart. Stay strong...and remember when trapped in doubt…your love will always be with you. You are bound by souls after all. Death cannot keep you apart."
Kagome's lower lip trembled and with a glorious smile, she leaped forward and squeezed the older woman. "Oh, Kikyou…I will pray for you. That God will grant you mercy and happiness…I know you deserve that."
Kikyou chuckled and stood up. "Yes well…I shall find redemption before then…make up for my sins, or I could not accept that." She wiped a stray tear from Kagome's cheek, "Be well Kagome…enjoy your life while it blesses you so…and…thank you…"
Kagome smiled and opened her mouth to say something but Kikyou's special dragons came out of nowhere and wrapped around the older woman's form. They spun faster and faster, and soon with a dazzling array of what looked like stars…Kikyou disappeared.
The young girl looked at the spot where she had once been and held up a hand to caress the jewel shards hung around her neck. Their power buzzed in her fingers, casting warmth down her arm, Kagome smiled. "No…thank you, Kikyou." She whispered into the night.
A soft wind caressing her cheek was her only answer.
DONE! NO MORE KIKYOU! Told you it was OOC.
He had not been able to sleep.
Ever since the snapping of a twig when Kagome left to bathe, fatigue could not ensnare him.
And so he sat, staring sightlessly into a rekindled fire, his mind buzzing a mile a minute.
He had not been able to put the thought to rest.
It was absurd really.
Ridiculous, illogical!
There was no way in hell.
But he could not cast the notion aside.
Miroku sighed and rubbed his temple, wariness setting in.
A rustle in the brush.
He straightened, hand at his staff, ready for battle.
Yasha stumbled into the camp.
The monk slumped in relief and rested his chin in his hand, watching with slight amusement when the pup lazily dragged his sleepy body over to him.
"Well I see now you are all clean…did you have fun…"--it was impractical, insane…he said it anyway—"Inuyasha…"
The dog jumped, ears alert, eyes wide, mouth unhinged. The poor thing looked about ready to pass out from shock.
Miroku furrowed his brows and smirked. That was quite entertaining, well worth questioning his sanity, say the least.
Inuyasha forgot to breathe.
Oh damn…he figured it out…someone figured it out! Finally!
Grief really did mess you up. The hanyou thought for sure someone would have figured it out a long time ago, it wasn't excruciatingly difficult. He dies…a dog comes…looks the same…acts the same (besides licking and barking)…and hell, even has the same name practically!
Give them props for the whole aura and the same tasting blood and the S-I-T thing, but besides that…Inuyasha had been slightly disappointed.
But now someone finally decided to use their brain! Hallelujah! Thank you, Miroku!
What to do now?
Yasha gulped and sat down.
Miroku tilted his head. "It is you…isn't it?"
He nodded.
He noticed a tiny tremble go down the monk's spine, there was a flash of hope and hesitance in his violet-blue eyes. Miroku lifted his head and swallowed, "I-it…really is? You…kept your promise…?"
Inuyasha smiled and nodded once more.
Now Miroku looked like he was going to pass out.
He had liked the idea of being right…but now that apparently he was…Miroku found that it was kind of hard to think rationally. His mouth went dry and his stomach did a strange flip flop.
"Oh…shit…" was all he could manage to choke out. (okay, okay. I know, another one)
The hanyou's doggy grin faded and he worriedly trotted over and licked the stunned man's hand, still wrapped in bandages. Miroku? Are you okay? Come on, dammit, talk to me, you should be proud. You figured it out!
Miroku shook his head, stunned again by the rock in his throat. He tried to clear it, "Y-you're not…a reincarnation…you're actually…"
Yasha nodded his head and pawed at the rosary draped onto his furry chest.
The monk reached out with quivering fingers and caressed one of the fangs, "I knew it…I knew it…but I…I couldn't believe it…oh, damn…y-you really did keep your promise…"
Inuyasha snorted. Of course I did, baka. Who do you take me for?
His ears twitched when a bizarre chuckle fell from the man's lips. Miroku wiped his eyes and muffled his bubbling laugh. "Oh my God…thank you…Oh thank you. It is so good to see you my friend!" He suddenly grabbed the puppy and hugged him, burying his face in his fur.
The hanyou blinked, concern twisting at his tummy. He twisted around and licked the human's face, eyes widening by the taste of salt. Miroku? Oh come on! What is it with you humans, even good news makes you cry! Come on, please stop it, I can't deal with this right now. I'm too tired…
And pretty soon, Miroku did somber. He laid Inuyasha on his lap and began to rub his stomach. The pup looked up at his face, noticing a smile on his lips….but a small sadness in his eyes. I know what you're thinking…you're happy I'm here…but you want the old me…not the puppy version…Yasha sighed and closed his eyes.
This was too much for him right now.
I'll deal with this later. I'm going to bed.
And with that, he determinedly let free all thoughts and sunk into a heavy slumber.
And once again, Kagome came in when he was already long gone.
Miroku looked up and smiled at the girl. "You are looking radiant this evening, Miss Kagome. I can see that the bath did you some good."
She beamed at him, "I feel wonderful, Miroku. Even if that silly puppy ran off again and was making me worry…" Kagome laughed and sat on her sleeping bag. "Thank goodness he came back here though. I wouldn't want to have to comb the whole forest."
The monk nodded and looked down at the sleeping pup. Should I tell her…no...perhaps I should wait…I could freshen the pain…he smiled and trailed his hand up to those strikingly familiar ears, scratching them gently. Yasha twitched and sighed.
"I'm going back to my time tomorrow."
Miroku looked up in surprise by the miko's soft words. "What? Why? I thought you—"
Kagome stared at Inuyasha and sighed, "I'm running away, I can see that now. Besides we need supplies and…."
"And you think Yasha can heal your family…"
She nodded, "Like he healed us…they need him….Momma especially…"
Miroku watched her and paused before speaking, "She needs you too, Kagome. She must be worried about you."
Kagome wiped her eyes and nodded. "I know…that's another reason why I want to go…also, I think Yasha could use the rest. There's no danger of another demon attack in my time."
Miroku hesitated before uttering, "What if he can't go through..."
"He will. I know he will..."
The monk smiled and agreed. "Okay...you can use Kirara tomorrow. We'll head back to the village."
"We didn't really get much done did we?"
"No…but we'll get back in stride sooner or later. We're just not ready yet…"
The pains not gone yet.
Miroku hung his head and silence shrouded the camp. Soon Kagome lied down and fell asleep. The young man stayed awake long after the sun kissed the world with its warmth.
As the morning ray's caused Yasha's hair to glisten and sparkle, Miroku continued to scratch his ears and rub his tummy.
It is truly good to see you my friend…but I do not believe that you can fully get rid of the pain…
No…with a heavy heart, the young monk sighed…it may never leave.
YES IT WILL! HAHA!
Anywhoo, a small reminder...I WILL GLADLY READ ANY STORIES! My email is listed, feel free to send a manuscript or a link to it, whatever. DON'T BE SHY!
And I MIGHT be nice...maybe...BWAHAHAH!
Lol.
LATER!
LilYasha