Just to let you guys know, I know all about Buddah and what the Japanese believe in about heaven and death. It's just, I don't know enough, and with just researching books and the interent, my writing about it would be sketchy and...well...I wouldn't sound like I know what I'm talking about.
Besides, I didn't know when I started writing this that I would make such a big referance to God. But now that i am, I like it. I'm Christian, a believer, and felt more comfortable writing this story this way.
My apologies to those who don't like it. DEAL WITH IT!
AndI think shit would be Inuaysha's holy word too, I'm glad at least some people didn't mind my over use of the word. That's good!
Also, funny note: This was 16 pages in word. Someone asked in one of my fics how long my chaps are. Around there, is my average.
Changed my mind by the way, here's the next chapppie!
Always There
Ch 13
It was a mouth.
Hungry….an endless pit…ready to gobble her whole…
She had used to find it comforting, maybe a little annoying, it had changed her life after all.
But today, with the sun watching her, her shirt sticky with sweat, back aching with her back pack, and her arms full of her precious love…it was terrifying.
Maybe this wasn't a good idea.
Kagome took a step back from the Bone Eater's Well and mulled over her options.
She really didn't have to go.
No one was making her.
I bet Momma and everyone are just fine…
"My baby is dead! My poor baby!"
"He can't be dead…big brother is so strong and brave…no one could kill my hero…NO!"
The miko pushed the thoughts back and took a deep breath. It was decided, they had to go.
"Well, Yasha, we're going home…"
The pup's only response was a yawn. Kagome bit her lip. He had been sleeping the whole journey here. She hoped he wasn't sick…by the crashing notion, her insides turned cold.
What if he were to…
No, he's fine. He's just tired from that demon attack the other day, that's all. There's nothing wrong.
She was still worried.
Kagome kissed his furry little head and soaked in his warmth. If he were to get sick, than she could easily take him to the vet, no problem.
She smiled amusedly; he would definitely not like the vet that was certain.
That is…if he was able to go through the well at all…
No, that was stupid. There was nothing to fret about. Kagome knew deep in her heart, that Yasha would be able to pass through, hands down.
God, stop making excuses. Let's get this over with…
Another deep, fortifying breath: Okay, going home…Kagome looked back to the village and memorized the valley before her. I just hope I'm coming back here…
Stepping atop the well's rim, wobbling from the weight strapped to her back, Kagome stared into the gaping hole…and without a second thought…jumped in.
Weightlessness took her and before she knew it, there was refreshing shade from the well house of her time. And Yasha was still napping in her arms.
Kagome smiled, "You see, girl, nothing to worry about…"
Except Momma…
Her smile faded.
There was still time, no one knew she was back yet. She could just pretend this never happened, that she had never had this stupid forsaken idea to head back home, she could go back and make an excuse like the well didn't work anymore. Yeah…that way she never would have to come back here and face her grieving family. Never!
And!--that would never work…
The girl sighed and started on her perilous journey up the ladder and into the present. Her home, her birthplace…a place that she had not missed during the weeks she had been gone…
On the contrary, when Kagome relieved herself of her possessions (except Yasha of course) and turned back to the portal. She felt a waving crash of homesickness…for a place she didn't even belong to…
A perplexing dilemma, what were she to do once the jewel was fixed and Naraku was defeated? She had already decided, in the lowest regions of her soul, that she wanted to stay in the past, the place where her love was born. But she also knew…that that could never come to be…there was no way God would permit that. She could do horrible damage to the time line…besides as well as never seeing her family or friends again…
What if someone were to ask her mother where she had gone. She couldn't answer, 'Oh, my daughter doesn't exist in this time zone anymore. Oh no, she decided to stay in the past and betray her family.'
Oh man, what was she going to do?
Would the jewel grant her wish…a wish she had never drip from her lips…a wish that she had kept secret for what felt like an eternity?
Or would it dispel her and think of a new fate?
What if it decided…to redo the whole thing…to have her wake up and live a life…where she never met Inuyasha or her feudal time friends…what if…
It made her forget?
Kagome coughed back tears and her quivering fear.
What would come would come.
She could not control fate or destiny.
It was in God's hands.
Kagome hung her head and turned toward the small hut's sliding door, she walked out into pollution and gangs, drugs and war…and grief…a world that had lost touch with the finer things in life…and instead chose money and power…and greed…
It was home.
Her real home.
But it doesn't feel like it anymore.
Hugging her puppy tight, feeling strength from his heartbeat, she drug her feet to the back door of her child hood house.
It was deadly silent when she allowed herself inside.
"Mo…" she cleared her dry throat and spoke louder, "Momma? Are you here? It's me…Kagome…"
Her ear drums pounded, her heart sailed with every creak and groan of her steps, the house remained cold…unwelcoming…
She shivered from the kitchen tiles and noticed dirty dishes in the sink. There was still life within these walls…
But they were not here right now.
At the front door, their shoes were missing. An empty coat rack hung by the door.
"They must have gone out…" her voice sounded strangely out of place and eerie, Kagome gulped.
I don't want to stay here…I want to go back…
She swallowed her rising panic and squared her shoulders, "No, I am not leaving. I am not going to run away again."
But just to make me feel better, let's go to the Goshinboku Tree.
Yeah, good idea.
Kagome sprinted to the yard.
As she neared the one place that filled her with freezing warmth, the miko's ears filled with the sudden sound of humming. Cocking her head, she hugged her back to the corner of her house and peered around…her lips parted…
Her family…
Her mother, Souta and Grandpa, all huddled beneath the massive tree's branches, heads bowed, hands clasped…
Candles and flower petals scattered around them.
They were praying.
Kagome noticed something leaning against the tree before them. She strained with all her might, leaning as far as she could go without giving herself away…and a few moments later…after knowing what the object was…Kagome's knees buckled and she slid to the ground.
A picture…
Tears fell to the grass below.
Her present…
Her chest bobbed and little whimpers escaped her trembling lips.
The little leather wallet she had given to Inuyasha on his birthday. The one with different photos in it of all the members of their pack…that was where it had gone off to…(Read the one shot INNOCENSE, if you wish to know more)
Even with the glare of the sun, Kagome could see clearly which picture her family was praying to…
The one of Inuyasha and herself. It glowed in her mind's eyes, her behind him, chin resting on his shoulder, and him…a blush on his cheeks…
She had surprised him with that picture.
"Please, Inuyasha? Just one, itty bitty picture. It won't kill ya! Please!"
She remembered the sultry pout she had given him and the defeat in his eyes.
"Ugh, fine, dammit. Are you happy now?"
She had leapt at him, twisting him around and holding the camera as far out as she could get in front of them.
"Yes, I am very happy..."—she'd whispered in his ear—"Say cheese!"
Kagome chuckled, wiping her eyes and holding back a sob, by the memory of the argument afterwards.
Those stupid petty arguments…
God, she missed them!
Her heart heaving painfully, Kagome leapt to her feet and ran down to her family, tears blurring her vision, "Momma! Momma!" What a bitch she had been. Leaving in the middle of the night, leaving them to worry and grieve alone…
Inuaysha would have hated her for this!
She could just hear him yell at her now…
Oh, love…forgive me…
Her mother jumped, twisting around, "Kagome!" She cried. She stumbled to meet her, her own tears staining her muddy cheeks. "You're alive! Oh thank god, my baby girl is alive!"
Kagome fell to her knees, her mother joining and wrapping her in a crunching hug. "Oh, Momma, I'm so sorry! But I was afraid…I was so afraid that you wouldn't let me go back! I couldn't stand that…I couldn't! Momma, I'm so sorry, please forgive me!"
"Its okay, baby, I forgive you, I'm so happy you're alive! I forgive you, shhh….oh, Kagome. My sweet, sweet Kagome, I prayed every night that God would keep you safe, that you would come back to me. And now here you are! Thank God! My sweet baby girl…thank you God," She petted her hair, raining kisses on her cheeks and forehead. "My little girl…"
In the confusion, Gramps and Souta were left to watch, crying silently.
No one noticed the bedraggled puppy trying to free himself from the women's maniac hold.
Okay, now it was getting hard to breathe.
Yasha gasped and kicked his legs. Hello, poor little defenseless puppy here! I'm happy to know you've all been reunited and that all's been forgiven…but could you give a guy some breathing room, please! Their hug wound tighter. Ah, Kagome!
The girl jumped and released her mother, "Oh, Y-Yasha, I'm so sorry. I-I forgot I was still holding you." She picked up the panting pup and scratched his ears.
Inuyasha sighed, Thank you…
Mrs. Higurashi sniffed and wiped her eyes, "Who's this cute little guy, Kagome."
Kagome smiled, "This is Yasha. I found him…um…a few weeks ago…"
Yasha yipped and turned to the older woman, Hey, Mrs. H!
A gasp, "K-Kagome…h-he…"
Fresh tears.
A quivering of lips, "I know" a deep breath, "I actually found him…a-after the funeral…w….we think he's Inuyasha's reincarnation…"
Mrs. Higurashi clasped her hands together and held them to her chin, "My Lord…I…I can see the resemblance…but…how can you be certain?" She hesitantly reached out and petted Yasha's head. Inuyasha grinned and twitched his ears for attention.
"We can't be…but…he acts like him…looks like him…and…Momma…the rosary even works on him…"
Her mother looked up at her, her mouth parted, "So when you say sit…"
Kagome nodded.
"Oh my Lord…how you twist our lives…" Mrs. Higurashi took a deep breath, steadying herself and held out her arms, earnest in her glassy eyes, "C-Can I hold him?"
Kagome smiled.
Inuyasha leaped.
It's so good to see you, Mrs. H! I thought Kagome would never go through the well again…why couldn't she have done that when I was alive? Yasha licked the older woman's glossy wet cheeks and barked happily. Figures…stupid wench…
Mrs. H. smiled, and hugged the hanyou, her throat bobbing. She caressed her daughter's cheek, "Come, let us go inside. We have much to talk about…I'll make some tea…"
The miko nodded, a slight apprehension teasing her insides.
She stood up…and was soon attacked by the other members in her small family, whom had grown sick of being left out.
Kagome giggled and cried, hugging them all.
I guess it's good to be home…
Once the whole excitement was over and his adrenaline boost had fled from his body, his weariness and listlessness returned. Inuyasha hadn't left Mrs. Higurashi's hold, not even when she began making tea one handed.
His instincts had told him to not to leave her just yet.
And besides, she wasn't too keen on putting him down anyway.
He dazedly watched as she lifted the steaming mug, the spicy-sweet brew teasing the inside of his nose, and walked over to the kitchen table. Kagome gave him a concerned smile when he yawned but looked up at her mother when she spoke. Souta and Gramps listened in eagerly with their own drinks.
"And he's alive? How big was the demon?" The older woman sat down and unconsciously began rubbing Inuyasha's head, reassuring herself he was fine and well.
For some reason they were speaking about the demon attack three days ago, the one where he had been close to opening the door once again.
Kagome's eyes widened with her storytelling, "It was huge! It had long fangs and claws, as long as a baseball bat, and sharp as a sword. And it smelled awful, even worse than the city dump. It was trying to get the jewel shards, like always—"
Inuyasha chuckled by the way she rolled her eyes. He was still not quite used to the idea of her family knowing everything that went down in his time: the demons, the danger. He wasn't sure if he liked it. But it meant he didn't have to lie to her mother anymore.
Thank goodness.
Another mind numbing yawn took hold of him and he struggled to open his eyes when it ended.
There was something wrong about this.
For the past few days, he had been in a fog. His brain was muddled and his body weak, he could hardly stand for more than a couple of minutes. And when he finally did collapse, his legs would shake and tremble. He would find himself totally concentrated on his surrounding, on conversations, and then would wake up. Not even realizing that he had fallen asleep.
It wasn't normal. And there was no way that it was good.
He was completely healed, even if he wasn't a demon at the moment, there was no reason for him to be so lazy and exhausted…no reason at all! What was wrong with him?
His thoughts grew fuzzy and everyone's voices turned distant and slow……black ensued….
The time is near.
Inuyasha jostled awake, panting and suddenly very, very cold. He shivered uncontrollably, snuggling into Mrs. Higurashi's warmth, whoever had been speaking broke off and he could feel everyone's eyes resting on him.
He didn't care.
He was so cold…so cold…
"Yasha? Are you alright?" He could hear Kagome stand up and walking over to him. Her Mother's hand flitted over his stomach and head, two arms now tightened around him, trying to give him comfort and heat. He didn't know whose arms they belonged to.
He breathed through his mouth, teeth chattering, blowing onto his paws, rubbing his snout and ears. He was so damn cold!
Ugh, he knew he wasn't right!
But somehow, he felt no sickness. He was absolutely certain that he wasn't ill.
But what other reason could be given.
Had he been poisoned?
Kagome…
"Shhhh, Yasha, its okay. We're going to get you some blankets, don't worry. We'll get you warmed up." He was in her arms. That was good…he liked being held by her the most…
The cold was leaving…and in it's place…
Right when she had walked into the living room, heading for the couch where a good snuggly blanket lied, Yasha suddenly jumped up with a yip. His eyes were wide and he kicked at her in panic, tongue flopping out of his mouth. Finally he fell from her arms, landing with a smack and flop on the carpet.
She called his name, kneeling down to grab him, he ran.
Through the kitchen, and out the back door, left open for clean night air to filter through. They had been talking for at least an hour, and she had gone though the well pretty late in the afternoon. The sun was just setting, darkness blanketed the lawn, and a refreshing breeze had kicked up.
It felt so damn good when he made it outside.
Inuyasha groaned, his legs already starting to tingle from his out-of-the-blue burst of energy. He plopped to his behind and turned to the breeze, drinking it up, feeling that unnatural fever begin to ebb away.
Once the cold had diminished, a burning fire deep in his gut had lashed out through his veins, licking and engulfing him in a matter of seconds.
It had frightened him, how quickly the pain ate him. And all he could think, in the white blinding terror, was he needed water. Water, water, water, need water…he ran in a blur, and soon found relief once he mistakenly found the opened door.
Thank goodness.
In a huff, the burning ended and he allowed gravity to take hold. He swayed, wobbled, and dropped. A hand was there to catch him.
Inuyasha was already unconscious before he could learn that Grandpa Higurashi had been his rescuer.
Warning, Gramps might be considered OOC. You don't see enough of him, to know. Sorry.
He had allowed no one to see his inner pain.
Perhaps he had been afraid of pity, thought that was ridiculous since he was not the only one with a broken heart. Maybe instead, he had been afraid of some arrogant reply, a know it all remark, I knew that he cared.
Whichever reason, he had locked it inside.
Tears were a given, he had sobbed long into the night, with no one to hear. He had learned from years before that grief was stronger than pride.
Love was as well.
So he had prayed along with his family. Being there for them, while unleashing his own hurt to God.
He was guilty, he felt regret, he longed for a way to go back in time, so that he could slap his bigheaded and chauvinistic self. He had always tried to teach his children and grandchildren to not judge people for what they looked like or who their family was.
And yet he had been unkind to that demon boy.
But he didn't just cry because of self-hatred of past words and actions, he cried for the shattered heart of his grandchild.
Kagome, she had loved that impolite little demon brat.
And it destroyed him to watch her impassive, cold eyes when she relayed Inuyasha's death to him and the family. How uncaring she looked when Souta and Ayumi sobbed and wailed before her.
Yes, he cried for regret on being rude to that boy (though he did his share of rudeness as well), but also for doing his part to try to keep him and his granddaughter separated.
It had appalled him then, to even think of them together, being married, bearing children…perhaps…leaving…taking his Kagome away forever.
So he had done all that he could do, talking to the girl, begging her to let him seal the well, and not hiding his hatred for that Inuyasha when he came to call and drag her back in time.
He had been filled with a grievous horror, to slowly see Kagome fall in love with the hanyou boy.
But now that Inuyasha was gone, and Kagome's heart was broken. He realized his terrible work. He had thought it had been for the best of his grandchild, but now he knew…Inuyasha and Kagome had been best…for one another. He felt it just for him to wear the weight of shame and regret upon his hunched, knurly shoulders.
And when that morning came, when she was not in her bed, a lonely note bearing I'm sorry, was found on her pillow. He knew that he was part of the blame.
Another reason why he had cried, had kept the pain inside, and had prayed every day before the Goshinboku Tree.
And one of his pleas had come true.
Kagome was home.
He could see that a terrible burden had been lifted from her shoulders, though she had wept within his daughter-in-law's arms, he could tell there was brightness to her eyes, a glow to her cheeks…
But yet, the pain was still there.
When his wife had been taken from him, stricken with cancer, it had been a living hell. A part of him ripped away forever, an empty place within his heart that could never be filled.
The pain never lessens.
But it dulls.
He knew that the dulling process for his young granddaughter was beginning.
At least she was home. But not to stay, in the weeks of torturously reminiscing and thinking, contemplating and planning. He had accepted that. Kagome had a purpose, a destiny to be fulfilled. He would let her leave. To go back to that secret mysterious place, only she could return to.
He knew her mother had come to the same conclusion as well.
My darling Kagome--"Grandpa?"--you are so young…but have already felt so much pain…"Grandpa!"—I pray happiness will come to you soon…
"Grandpa!"
Old man Higurashi jumped from his long, dragged out reverie (much like his stories) by Kagome's frustrated shouts.
He turned to her, meeting her concerned filled gaze. Tears had already leaked from the corners, her lips were stretched and thin, "Is he okay, Grandpa?"
He blinked. Oh, of course, the young reincarnated puppy! He had carried the poor sleeping thing up to his room to check him out. That's right.
His smile to his granddaughter was sheepish, "Oh, yes, I am sorry, Kagome. But I've looked him over; there is nothing wrong with him. I believe that he is just suffering from that demon attack you were telling us about earlier. Some doggy version of P.T.S.D."
A stupid conclusion. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, it was a diagnosis he didn't believe for an instant. Shivering so sporadically and then panting from fever, and then passing out. It was something he had never heard of before. Ever since his retirement, Higurashi Senior took the time to learn strange things, it was better than aging faster with boredom; and in all the veterinarian clinics he had been in, books he'd read, shows he'd seen, there was no such doggy illness containing those symptoms.
And no such thing as doggy P.T.S.D.
Unless there were doggy shrinks out in the world.
Well, he had witnessed stranger things in his long life.
From the look on Kagome's face, he knew she didn't believe it either.
Gramps looked down at the little pup slumbering on his lap, and was struck once again with his appearance. Believing in legends, and unnatural, unworldly phenomenon, the old man didn't doubt for an instant that this was some version of Inuyasha's soul.
Now for the reason on how and why the boy got reborn so quickly and was staying with Kagome, was beyond him. That was heaven's jurisdiction.
He was just thankful that it had been done.
It was because of you, that Kagome was able to come home. That I am certain…you are healing her heart…
Who else better to heal her heart than the soul of the boy who had stolen it?
Fate could get really confusing sometimes.
Grandpa H. stood up, cradling the hanyou pup close, and felt a bizarre release in his chest, like something wound so tight and pulsating with pain had just been lessened.
Kagome had told them stories on how Yasha had been helping her and her friends.
To feel it for himself, the old man had to give the dog some credit, even asleep he had healing powers.
"Are you sure he's okay, Grandpa?" He stared down at his grandson, another reason for weeping on those cold, dark nights. Hopefully, Yasha could heal Souta, before his bruised innocent heart was shattered. Life had a way of doing that.
"Yes, my boy, he just needs his rest. We all do, come along." With worried glances, he pushed the family out his bedroom door. Once Ayumi and Souta left, Gramps grabbed Kagome's arm. "I wish to speak with you, Kagome."
She looked at him, knowing there was important news he had to tell her.
He paused before whispering, "Something is gravely wrong with your dog, Kagome. I don't know what plagues him or if it is threatening. But I do know that it is something no vet can treat. It has been short and I have missed you terribly, but I think you should both go back through the well tomorrow."
Kagome's eyes widened, "What?"
"You heard me child. I have some strange feeling that a more…oh, I cannot explain it, …some unforeseen culprit is causing this. Your Kaede could aid in helping find the cure."
She had never seen her Grandpa so serious, he was a good actor and had pretended before during his crazy stories, but this time, in his hard eyes…she knew this was no game. "Grandpa—" he was acting so strangely, out of character, --"it can't be that bad. I told you how he healed from that demon attack, what if it's…Inuyasha's blood…or…"
Her grandfather shook his head, "You don't believe that. His symptoms are not serious now…but I fear his condition can take a drastic turn. You said before he was a very energetic thing…this is not normal."
He was sick. Yasha was sick. Her fears were confirmed.
"We'll leave after breakfast."
She was pulled into a fierce hug, "Please come back quickly." He whispered in her ear.
The dog was important, that he knew deeply, if anything happened to Yasha, Kagome would be devastated…crumbled…lost forever. Nothing could fix her then.
No one would like it, but her visit would have to be cut short.
At the even briefest thought on Yasha…giving in to illness…like his wife had…the knot inside him, re-twisted, fresh with pain.
It was hard not to take a liking to the dog so quickly.
I just hope…that this unforeseen culprit…is not sinister…
He knew he was dreaming.
It couldn't be real.
Even if it felt like it.
In his dream, it was the dead of night, the house was asleep, he was lying on Kagome's bed…writhing in pain.
Cold flames stretched his ligaments and tendons, his eyes were rolling in his head, his paws were twitching out of control.
Then it stopped.
He was left with a pounding head ache.
For some reason, he stands up, feels taller…wavers in and out of blackness…he's cold…yet covered in sweat….he needs water…so thirsty…
He keeps his balance well when he walks out to the hallway to the bathroom.
The world twists and dips, like walking on a bridge, toppling close to the edge…but no…he doesn't fall…
He's able to open the door.
He thinks foggily about how he can reach the door handle…but doesn't ponder on it long, his throat is dry and cracked; his need for water is growing desperate.
The bathroom tiles are cold beneath his paws…or…wait…feet? Looking down, his vision upon human feet is hazy and spinning, he grows light headed and doesn't really care…he just needs water…and then…bed…oh that sounds good….
His legs are shaky when he takes the few hazardous steps to the sink, grasping the edge in relief before he buckled. His brows furrow by the sight of hands, tipped with claws, caressing the marble.
This was one freaky dream.
He shakes his head slowly, side to side, and reaches out, turning the faucet, wonderful liquid falling in a clear rivulet through his fingers. He cups the water and almost sags to the floor on how magnificent the liberating fluid feels to his dry lips and mouth.
He drinks greedily, fatigue setting in once he finishes.
He stands…sleep being his only clear notion.
He raises his head…
And finds the mirror.
Upon seeing his reflection…sleep was no longer an option…
His stomach plummets, weighted down with ice, while his heart leaps up his esophagus, his eyes widen and his jaw could touch the ground….
Can't breathe…
His reflection…
A face.
In one electrical surge, his mind begins working again and a panic attack sets in. He almost slams into the mirror by how quick he leans forward, scrutinizing his nose…his eyes…the hard contours of his cheeks bones and jaw…opens his mouth to see a pink tongue and gleaming fangs…twitching ears catches his attention atop his head…
Oh….damn…
He watches his mirrored self stagger backwards, eyes flicking to a chest, arms, legs…oh hell, he was naked!
And he was human!
No, no, a hanyou…he was normal!
Normal body, normal hair, he wasn't a dog anymore!
He doesn't feel the painful slap when he falls to the ground; he shivers out of control and hugs himself, his lungs fill with air…ready to scream…
He needs someone, he's panicking, he's afraid, he doesn't know what happened, he needs someone to hold, tell him he was okay, that this was real, that he wasn't out of his mind!
Good God, he couldn't breathe, his eyes roll up to the ceiling, his back meets the wall, his face stretches…
A husky shrill, a desperate call, fills his ears…and when black envelopes him he knows…
That was his voice.
Kagome!
And CUT! Cliffie! I expect a LOT of reviews peoples! DON'T MAKE ME BEG, DAMMIT! BWAHAHAHHAHA! I WANT REVIEWS! I WANT REVIEWS!
YEAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
coughs, bows thank you
LilYasha