House of the Homunculi

Rated T for Teens

Violence, Profanity and Language, some suggested themes.

Disclaimer: "I, psychodog, do not own Full Metal Alchemist. I wish I did but I don't.
This fabulous Anime was created by Hiromu Arakawa-sensei."

Envy: "Yeah, you hear that? The spotlight is on us! Not that Fullmetal shorty! First this fanfic! Tomorrow, the WORLD!"

Greed: "Mind reading the stupid intro in the previous chapter? it says he might make an appearance as well as others."

Envy: "What? No way! But the Title is House of the Homunculi! Not House of the Super Hyper Midgets! Shit, I got excited for nothing..."

Greed: "Yeah, whatever..."

Introduction

The Small Synopsis about Homunculi!

Side Note: Ever heard of those stories? About monsters and heroes that your parents read to you when you were little? Maybe even back then you were afraid of the monsters that hid in your closet? Or maybe under your bed? Well let's get back to reality, THESE MONSTERS DON'T EXIST. Never did, never had. But what am I saying? Monsters don't hide under your bed and in your closets! That would be gross! Monsters don't like your smelly gym socks and and your old toys. And they find little enjoyment in scaring kids, let alone eat them... well maybe from time-to-time they might get hungry but... hey so do we. If we call monsters, monsters for eating us, then what do cows call us when we eat steaks? Or... if your a vegetarian then what do vegetables call you? (Of course Vegetables don't talk... but hey, what if they did?) That's the point, we don't say anything because that's life! The Monsters I'm talking about look, act and think like we do. From the mere sight, we might even think they are human. From looking at them, you'd think they were just like us...

Back to the Point, what I'm saying is Monsters do exist. Some of us are just not aware of it. But hey, you don't have to take my word on it. Homunculus, man made humans that were created by humans, not by god, not by your parents... these creatures were created by human hands. The term Homunculus is best referred to as "Human-like"... Because man is created in God's image we believe that we can be like God. Foolishly, we attempt to do the impossible. Our mistakes, Our ignorance borns a creature of "Sin". A mistake that is done again and again...

But you got to admit, For Sins... Some of them are darn Sexy. XD

Characters

Hohenheim of Light- Well more of a title than a name, but we only know him as this. Most of you know him as the father of Edward and Alphonse Elric as well as the Husband of Trisha Elric. Well that's all fine and dandy, but he is much more... This man lived for many Centuries along with Dante. A Real lady's man and he also had a relationship with Dante, herself! He is also the father of Envy, and an extremely skilled Alchemist. He made the Philosopher's stone not just once but twice!
Role in the Play: The "Prick" to Envy, Father of Edward, Alphonse, and Envy, Dante's lover and the Creator of the Philosopher's stone

Chapter 2: The Feud between Two

Act II: Moving your Ass forward

Setting: The Forest

Envy swiftly made his way through the woods. Beyond the woods, is a mountain, beyond that mountain is the wasteland, beyond that is the desert, and even farther is the City of Xerxes. Envy couldn't help but smile, Hohenheim, Hohenheim that bastard is in Xerxes... So close... I'll get you! I'll Kill you! Envy was ecstatic with happiness. He waited so long, countless centuries to get his revenge on him. If that old fart was going to die then Envy was the one to do it! He could dream about it, yes Envy does dream, about the blood running through his hand as he murders that man... Not only was he close, but Xerxes was destroyed! The thought of humans dying brought a chill down his spine. The day couldn't have gotten better! Well... except for maybe the birth of that bastard, Greed. That could have been WAY better. Stupid dumbass, right when he learns to walk, that guy is giving me a freaking headache.

Envy swiftly jumped from tree to tree, it was much faster and it also made him look way cooler. The Road was for losers. His agile moves were impressive, moving with relative ease, it was like being an Acrobat. Being a Homunculus was so much fun... Envy was Excited... so Excited that... Nothing could ruin it for him. But... I stand corrected.

"YOU SLOW DUMBASS!" Envy yelled, "Get your ass moving, already!" The Homunculus, Greed was slowly walking down the path. The road for "losers" as Envy called it. Greed's hands were in his pockets, his shoulders slouched forward. It was as if he was taking a stroll in the park, rather than looking for a man to kill. Greed looked up at Envy who was sitting, perched upon a branch.

"What's the rush?" Greed asked. He didn't see what was so great, nor exciting about tracking some Old guy in a Ghost Town. Greed didn't like being pushed, let alone by some guy with terrible gender-confused fashion sense. He'd rather go find something more fun to do.

"Get yer ass moving or else I'll kick it..." Envy hissed. "I was right, You're nothing but dead weight!"

"Well, sorry, Not like I wanted to come." Greed replied coolly, "Just looking at you makes me want to puke some red stones out."

"You're just jealous because I look way younger, and way cuter!" Envy replied with a grin, "Now, hurry up!"

"Cute as a demonic little monkey can get..." Greed mumbled. "Old hag..."

Envy backflipped back on the branch, "Or maybe, poor little Greedy baby is tired from all the walking." Envy replied mockingly, "Does little baby want a piggy back ride? Does little baby's puny little legs feel tired?" Greed stared up confused at Envy, this guy was just pushing it... luckily, Greed wasn't that easily intimidated by such remarks.

"Now that you mention it." Greed replied with a smile, his razor sharp teeth showing, "I would be happy to let you carry me."

Envy's only reply was a tossed branch that hit Greed in the forehead. It showed little harm to the homunculus, therefore Envy jumped off the tree and ripped it out of the soil. His hands gripping the gnarled roots, he swung it as hard as he could at the cocky bastard. The Slam echoed in the forest and terrified birds flew out of the trees from such a loud impact. Greed stood unmoved, he scratched his ear and looked up at Envy.

"Hey, hey..." Greed replied, "I have feelings too you know..."

"Don't make me rip something out of your rib cage." Envy replied, "Now hurry it up!"

"What's in it for me?" Greed asked.

"You've got to be kidding me." Envy replied in disblief.

"I am greedy, afterall..." Greed laughed, "Unless you've forgotten! And I don't come cheap!"

"How about, if you move a little faster I won't permanently mutilate you?" Envy asked, his patience waning thin.

"You got to do better than that." Greed replied, "What you got, Envy?"

"Grrr! This is Ridiculous!" The homunculus muttered, Envy reached into his pocket and pulled out a red stone, The small glittering Catalyst in his fingers. "How about this?"

Greed stared at it for a moment. His eyes widened, as if the Stone themselves were all the treasure in the world. It was mesmerizing... It was delicious looking...Like an oasis in the desert. He wrenched his eyes away from the stone, as if it was painful, and looked away.

"I don't want it." Greed replied quickly. Envy knew, no homunculus could resist the Red stone. It was like candy to a small child, they loved it! They wanted it! Greed was no exception... These stones brought him life, these stones gave him power, these stones gave them strength.

"Oh really? Are you sure?" Envy asked with a pushing tone. (Man, he's really picking at him, isn't he?) "Are you positive?"

"I said I don't want it!" Greed yelled angrily; his hand swatting at the First Homunculus. Greed's hand began to shake in anger...

"You're lying!" Envy sang amusingly, "You know you want it... just admit it." Envy's taunting was ripping Greed up from the inside. Greed felt the sharp pain and desire screaming at him, tormenting him...

"Don't think you can bribe me." Greed looked away. But from the corner of his eye he watched as Envy began to toss the small stones from one hand to another, swiftly he dangled them, playing with them. Juggling them tauntingly from hand-to-hand. "Where'd you get those...?" Greed asked annoyed.

"Don't blame me, you dropped it. Your lost. So I did Dante the favor of picking them up." Envy laughed, "My, how strong... HAH! You should have eaten them while you can, So why not take them for myself...?" Envy mused, he put the stone in his mouth with a loud crunch and swallowed it. Licking his lips, "Mighty tasty aren't they? You know you want it."

"You Bastard..." Greed spat.

"Annoying the shit out of you is so much fun." Envy sang, "So be a good Pet and move faster! Then maybe I'll think of sharing..."

"How can I trust you?" Greed asked cautiously, Envy wasn't one to share.

"That hurt." Envy replied with a smile, "You don't even trust your own half-brother?"

"Sorry, brother or not, you're still a two-faced bastard." Greed shot back.

Envy smiled, it was so much fun torturing lesser creatures. He pulled out a single stone and watched in delight as Greed's greedy little eye followed the sparkling red stone. "We'll see how much you really want this, than you won't have a choice but to trust me."

"What are you planning?" Greed asked irritated.

"Not too bright, are you?" Envy asked, he flicked the small red stone into a bush, "Fetch!"

Greed couldn't hold back, his body reacted on his own. His instincts drove him, his hunger pushed him, his desire forced him. Before Greed could even realize it, he was in the bush, his hands digging furiously for the small red stone. Greed couldn't believe how helpess he was, so much weakness. His hands grabbed for the imcomplete Philosopher's stone and even though he forced his mouth not to open, his hands jammed it down his throat. He began to hungrily eat it up, his body craving for some more. Envy laughed from the branch, Greed began to choke.

"Whew, that was fun... looks like you really like them, huh?" Envy asked.

Greed froze, after eating it, he experiences such pain... his mind begins to hurt and his helplessness grew. He was controlled by these stones, like a child... weak and frail.

"You really are pretty weak," Envy laughed, "See? Now be a good boy and listen to your big brother..."

"Stupid..." Greed gasped clutching his stomach, "Stupid bitch... I'll... I'll kill you... I swear..."

"If you move faster, I'll let you have some more... deal?" Envy asked.

Greed pulled his hands out of his pocket, his hands clenched into a fist. "Old hag..." Greed muttered. His hunger was killing him, even more so than usual, he was afterall Greedy. He stood back up, regaining his composure. Greed got up and quickly jumped on the branch of a tree, his back slouching as his legs crouched on the branch. He did it with relative ease and in a second he and Envy were jumping from branch to branch. Greed was remarkably swift.

"Nice one." Envy whistled, "You learn pretty quickly."

"..." Greed only stared angrily at Envy, This brat was not only annoying, but he pissed the living shit out of him. Greed had the sole desire to smash that brat's head with his fist... but he knew. As long as Envy had those red stones, Greed was helpless... Greed's body wasn't fully developed as of yet. He may look human but his body still needed more energy, more food, more power. This was Dante's way of keeping a leash on him, to make sure he was kept in line... Like a cage. Greed couldn't take it... someday... He thought, someday I'll free myself from this prison... His greed wasn't satisfied... not when he was with Dante.

Act III: The Big bad Brawl

Setting: Dublith City

Dublith, The City in the Southern region. Envy and Greed could have easily passed through the Forest and over the mountain to reach the Great Eastern Desert, but Envy didn't feel like it. Not only was climbing up a mountain, a pain in the ass but he had no desire to bribe Greed as of yet. Luckily, they could easily pass through the border by going on a train. Dublith was created recently. many people began to flock from Central to this City in the south. Not only was the weather nice... bright sun, nice beaches, beautiful country side and woods, but it was a good oppurtunity for business. The place was filled with people, Greed who was curiously looking around never saw this many people before. Afterall, he was just born a few days ago...

"Oooh, nice..." Greed whistled eyeing a young woman passing by. She was wearing a mini-skirt and a very thin top. "I could get use to this place."

The Streets were packed with markets. There were different kinds of merchandise, from guns to food. Greed's eye began to hungrily stare at all the splendors. Anything that caught his eyes from women, to jewelry were targets. Also, the Sun wasn't so bad, lots of young ladies were around, tanning and having a nice cup of red whine at the cafes. Greed poked a gold chain, embedded with sapphires that were hanging from the nearest business stand. Real nice things was what he wanted, and this stuff was nice.

"Quit your sightseeing and get moving..." Envy smacked Greed in the head, "We can terrorize the humans later."

"Huh?" Greed asked looking up, "But that's no fun..."

"We're not here to have your fun," Envy replied with a smirk, "We're here to get that bastard, Hohenheim and give me my fun."

"Selfish bitch..." Greed mumbled. He tucked his hands into his pocket and slouched, following the small, wild haired, homunculus. He looked grouchy, Greed walked past a bunch of really nice things. Jewelry, expensive pocket watches, a bar, young ladies... and did I mention really nice looking young ladies. he wanted them sooo badly, but look at him, poor Greed walking past them. Missing out on his fun.

Envy tapped Greed in the back, "Don't worry about it, maybe if you ask nicely Dante will give you an allowance." Envy giggled.

"How much is allowance?" Greed asked somewhat intrigued by the thought of money.

"2,000 Cens a month." Envy replied coolly.

"That's not enough!" Greed yelled angrily, "What does she think I am? Some kind of stupid child?"

"Hey be grateful, she is your mother afterall." Envy replied putting his hands behind his head as he strolled down the street.

"Hmph," Greed spat, "You can barely buy anything with 2,000 Cens! It's like pocket change!" (Remember kids, you can buy a steak at Izumi's butcher shop for 110 Cens!) Greed was a fully grown, well sort of fully grown guy.

"Well maybe if you behave like a good dog, Your mom might give you a raise in your allowance." Envy answered.

"Mom... HAH. What bullcrap is she pulling?" Greed spat, "Homunculi don't have mothers."

"Now your catching on." Envy giggled, "I just remembered! Dante was more or less your wife in your past life!" Greed was obviously angered.

"Shut up." Greed mumbled.

"Well, Quit your complaining will you?" Envy replied tauntingly, "Or else I might put an actual doggy leash around your throat."

"You wouldn't dare." Greed threatened. The idea of a leash, of bondage, ticked him off beyond compare.

"Oh?" Envy laughed, "You want a muzzle with that leash? Your bark is more harder than your bite."

"Then how about I bite!" Greed yelled throwing his clawed fist at Envy. The Green haired Homunculus quickly backflipped out of danger. There were a few screams from the women in the background.

"Too slow!" Envy laughed, he smiled and transformed himself into Greed himself. The townspeople stared astonished, two guys who looked exactly the same were fighting each other! To avoid unnecessary attention Envy jumped on top of one of the Roofs on a nearby Stone building. Greed soon followed. The Two exchanged quick blows, Envy, in the form of Greed taunted from up above. "Kind of hard to catch up, eh Ultimate Shield? Is Big brother too fast for you? Do you want big brother to slow down for the little baby?"

"Shut your mouth!" Greed yelled aiming another fist at Envy. Envy giggled histarically as he dodged the heavy blows, "Get down here!" Greed commanded.

"Why should I?" Envy asked sticking his tongue out.

"Old hag!" Greed shouted, "I'll kick your sorry Ass!"

"Oh?" Envy asked, "Bring it on, little baby! If you can catch me that is!"

"Get back here and fight!" Greed hissed.

"How do you expect to fight?" Envy giggled evilly, "When you can barely even touch me."

The Ultimate Shield continued to persue the imposter. Envy began to jump across rooftop to rooftop, contently moving forward. It was fun teasing Greed, he wasn't too bright as of yet. He quickly led him towards the train station, so easy to manipulate. It was kind of like humans, Greed was still too human. Envy could steer him like a dumb donkey by the nose. Envy was too preoccupied by the fun of it all that he didn't notice Greed caught up to him. His little half brother was undoubtedly pissed off. Envy blinked, Greed was right in front of his face. "Got you." Greed smiled evilly, the similar smile Envy usually had. The Ultimate Shield punched Envy in the face with all his might.

Envy was tossed backwards by the force and with a loud "CLANG" He hit a massive Water Tower. The Water tower broke easily from the massive impact. Envy broke through the steel shell as the water rushed out of the massive tank. Greed, slowly walked up to the tank, his hands in his pocket. Envy, shocked from the impact was already returned to his normal form. His hand grabbed the hole he created as he slipped out.

"You little pest..." Envy hissed, he was chuckling slightly. A small trail of blood on his face.

"What's wrong Envy? Is taunting getting boring for you?" Greed asked coolly.

"You shit head," Envy chuckled, "How dare you hit my cute face...?"

"Cute?" Greed laughed, "Looks like the face of an old hag! Well Coulda fooled me, no wonder you wanted to steal my face!"

"Cocky bastard..." Envy spat out some blood, "I'll teach you a lesson..."

"Huh?" Greed looked up.Without a moment's hesitation Envy attacked Greed head on, his legs spinning as he kicked Greed on the side of his head. Greed blocked it with his shield and jumped backwards. The little Green haired palm tree was getting serious all of a sudden. Greed smiled as the little wild haired monkey was angry, he deserved it. The Little monster was merciless. He even shot a few punches at the Ultimate Shield. Greed, who was enjoying it, found Envy easier to hit. Greed no longer had to chase the palm-tree-head to give him a few smacks in the cranium.

"I bet that face isn't even yours!" Greed taunted back, "How about you show me your real face, huh?"

"Shut up!" Envy screamed.

"Ooh, looks like I hit a nerve." Greed whistled, "What's the matter, Envy? Is your real face that ugly?"

"I'll kill you!" Envy yelled punching Greed in the face. Even without the shield, his face could barely be scratched. He felt the impact of Envy's heavy punch on his right cheek.

"You have to do better than that." Greed laughed. "Come on Envy, give me the best you got!"

"You'll regret that." Envy smiled evilly, "You asked for it..." Suddenly the bottom of his body began to change, Envy transformed. From the foot up, he slowly became a beautiful young woman. Greed stared slightly bewildered. Sure the woman was beautiful, but it was also the body of Dante... Greed couldn't help but feel slightly disturbed and confused. Envy's evil smile magnified the beauty and the creepiness of Dante.

"What's wrong, Greed?" Envy asked, "You're not gonna hit back?"

Greed scratched his head, "Err... I don't hit women... even if one is really a guy."

"Really now?" Envy asked.

"Yeah..." Greed mumbled scratching his head nervously, "It's not my thing, to hit girls... but I have a question?" Envy paused staring curiously at Greed. "Like... how can you stand dressing up like a woman? Power or not... that's kind of creepy..." Greed mumbled.

"You idiot..." Envy clenched his fist.

"Maybe your use to it since you like the whole tights and skirt thing and all..." Greed replied uncomfortably, "But yeah, sorry It's no fun hitting women, Maybe hitting ON them is fun but sorry, I'm not a wife beater."

"Ah, that's a pity," Envy's hand turned into a long thin Knife, "Too bad I won't be so curteous." Without a moment's hesitation while Greed's shield was down, Envy lunged the Blade into Greed's stomach. Greed choked as the blade pierced through his tough, yet vulerable skin. "Softy..." Envy whispered with a smile.

"You little... bitch..." Greed choked as some oozing red liquid leaked from the wound. It wasn't blood, on the contrary, it was a small amount of his consumed Red stones.

"Without your precious shield, piercing you like this is easy. Now why don't you go cool your head for a while." Envy tossed Greed's body in a nearby river. "Have a nice swim, Greed!"

"You little bastard!" Greed yelled, he began to drift down the river, His arms flailing around in the water. "I can't swim yet!"

Envy giggled, "Start learning!" He watched contently as Greed was pushed away by the current and gone from sight. Envy couldn't help but laugh himself silly. Maybe later he'll go pick up the poor idiot. The Sky was red, Sun down was soon upon them.

"What to do? What to do?" Envy began to wonder, "Oh well, I don't care." Envy got up and jumped down from the Rooftops, "That dumbass can go sleep with the rats, as for me? I'm getting myself a nice room." Without a care in the world Envy headed for the inn at Dublith, ready to go rent himself a nice room, and a nice meal too.

To be Continued

Yay! This chapter has TWO Acts! Woohoo! Ok, anyway... I should list the things that are true. So you guys can get the facts and fictions straight x. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! I appreciate some reviews too... err... or maybe I'm asking too much? Anyway, it's funny how I make them fight so many times XD. Though, sadly Envy is the one who usually wins. Anyway Reviews please!

Envy: "Don't put your hopes up."

Psychodog: "What? Why not?"

Envy: "Your story sucks, the only good parts are with me in it! Why the hell do I have to share the spotlight with that dumbass!"

Greed: "Hey! It's partially my story too! You bastard, you threw me into the river!"

Psychodog: "ok, ok, calm down...! So how come my story doesn't deserve reviews?" (cries)

Greed: "Because All the Reviews are mine!" (maniacal laughter) "Also, neechan, how come he always wins?"

Psychodog: "There, there, Greed-sama, you'll get your spotlight soon."

Envy: O.O You assholes! Don't show that idiot sympathy! I can beat all of you! HEY! DONT CLOSE THE CURTAIN ON ME! STOP IT! DO YOU HEAR ME?

Curtain closes

Anyway... Let's go to the facts so far. These facts are true, or maybe extremely good hunches... mainly facts. SUPER SPOILER BEWARE! Most of these are the backbone of the story.

Educate yourself! Become a Full Metal Alchemist Expert!

-Greed is approximately 200 years old. He is the second Homunculus, created by Dante. I'm guessing he's a ressurected one of Dante's late husbands... because...yeah... in one of the epp Dante says she had many, many husbands. That's a pretty big clue. He's rebellious, independent etc. etc.

-Envy was the first homunculi, over 400 years old. Created by Hohenheim of Light, died from Mercury poisoning when he was a baby and was abandoned after Hohenheim found out that he was an abomination. Not long after, Hohenheim destroyed Old Central City by creating the Philosopher's Stone. Note, he is HOHENHEIM and DANTE'S Son...

-Xerxes vanished in one night. This was from Hohenheim creating another Philosopher's Stone. The people of Xerxes attempted to create it and thus was destroyed. Because of this, Alchemy was banned in Ishbal. Xerxes is, I believe between Ishbal and Central OR between Ishbal and the Eastern Country of Xing. All you have to know is that the place is gone, and that they were Alchemy fanatics.

-Hohenheim wrote a love letter to Dante along time ago. 200-400 years ago. He also sends her a piece of the Philosopher's stone to extend her life.

-Envy and Greed hate each other. True, because Envy ticks off Greed and vice versa.

-Greed hates Alchemy, this is since he was created by it and also later sealed by it. It's natural for the homunculus to hate their creators... afterall, its there fault for turning them into messed up creatures. Envy hates Hohenheim, Greed hates Dante, Sloth hates Edward, Wrath hates izumi, etc.

-Homunculi don't live long in their mutilated state. Like the deformed baby of Izumi and when Edward tried to ressurect their mom. That ugly form? Yeah... they don't live long in that state. Feed them a few Red Stones and they'll slowly turn more powerful and can keep their own form. Red Stones are highly concentrated and crystalized humans.

-Homunculi are weakened by their old body parts of the person they failed to ressurect. Envy later seals Greed with the use of Greed's skull...

-Dante extends her life by implanting her soul in other people's bodies. More likely the young, beautiful ones because she is a very selfish... and conceited... yeah. She did it many times, less than 10 more than once. xD (It's a good thing that Izumi left Dante's services because if she didn't, Izumi would have been Dante's next target.)

-Also I have no idea approximately when Greed became rebellious. All I know is that he couldn't satisfy his greediness when he was tied to Dante. Therefore he turned against her and was sealed 140 years ago. Greed didn't like to be sealed, nor did he want to be human, therefore he chose death over imprisonment. Edward Elric brought him to his demise. (Though he would have killed Edward if Dante didn't suck the Red stones out of him, and IF those stupid bones weren't there) You can chop his head off and he doesn't die, so stabbing him probably won't do much either, damn red stones... if they WERENT sucked out.

More facts as we move on in the story x) Stay in touch.