House of the Homunculi
Disclaimer:
Foolish mortals, I don't own Full metal Alchemist!
I own your souls! (And maybe even your left shoes)
Introduction:
Coming Up Next
Ok, ok... hmm I'm back to the Introduction once more... The Last chapter wasn't that good. In my opinion I suppose it was too short. Oh well... I'm hoping everyone has a clear view of Greed and Envy. They seem to act just like children, fights alot, torments each other alot, but from time to time they do support each other. SOMETIMES.Well, it's time to move this story forward. I update quickly because I get excited and stuff. After a while, I'm going to update slower... plus I have school. (Psychodog feels sad...)
We won't be seeing much of Greed after the next chapter or so. So hopefully you guys won't wait that long. But fear not he shall return!
Chapter V: The line between us
Act VIII: In the Eyes of Envy
Setting: Dante's Manor
The Next few months drifted by quickly. No news of Hohenheim spread, the house was boring and silent. Everyday was practically the same, Dante would give them orders, the Homunculus would leave to do what she asked. Some missions tooks weeks, others took months. They were rarely at home at all. Envy didn't mind, there was nothing fun to do at home anyway. But every day dragged on to become weeks, weeks became months, months became years. When he was at home, Envy would just stay in his room all day, probably cursing and laughing maniacally. On occasions, he was even given permission to wreak havoc on humans. Envy's to-do list was the following.
Envy's To-do list
1. Go on a mission
2. Annoy Greed
3. Stay in his room
4. Terrorize humans
5. Annoy Greed some more.
And to Envy, this was one easy-to-do and fun list. All of his favorite activites were listed in a nice orderly and complete manner. Today, Envy was standing in the Dante's favorite study room looking at his own reflection through the Antique Mirror. One-by-one he changed his appearance to see what suited him best. Whether he wanted look cool and suave, or young and cute, or maybe even look like a deadly animal! Envy loved to do this. Not only was it nice to look at himself in the mirror, but it was fun posing and making funny faces.
"Hmmm..." Envy began to think. "What to turn into next?"
The Palm tree haired Homunculus changed into a young man. Stretching his cheeks he made some funny faces at his reflection. The room reaked of Dante's perfume, and the music in the background returned. Envy didn't mind much of this, he was well adapted to the smell and the ridiculous song. Also, Hohenheim uses the same perfume, this could come to an advantage. Envy's arm became a long thin blade, nice and sharp. Yep, Envy's transformation ability was still the best. No doubt about that.
"Woof!" Envy barked.
The Homunculus now changed into a dog. He barked twice, the voice was very authentic. If Envy became an actor he could play any part. Though most of the time he would perfer to be the evil villain. Envy can appear as anyone, or anything. He would put Actors like Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise and Johnny Depp to shame. How many actors can literally turn into the person they act as? Only Envy. Envy wagged his tail. It worked. Everything was in proper order. His abilities weren't rusty at all.
"Ooh... not bad, not bad." Envy replied satisfied. "Now what next?"
Envy transformed himself back to his favorite form. His childlike face, and wild green hair staring back through the reflective glass. This was his favorite. Not only did he look young and cute, but it made his evilness appear more... evil. His evil grin, his strange clothes, and his viciousness all in one package. The only problem was, these faces did not belong to Envy. He could only wish these faces were his. Envy was cursed with the face of his father... Everytime he'd gaze into the mirror it was his father looking back. Envy would slam his fist and yell at his own reflection.
"Who cares if they aren't mine..." Envy gritted his teeth tightly, "Who cares if I steal them... If they can't be mine... than it can't be anyone else's..."
From behind him was a low grunt, Envy turned around. Sleeping on a couch in front of the book case was none other than the Ultimate Shield, Greed. He was taking a snooze. a dirty magazine was opened, covering his face and eyes. Envy only stared...
"Lazy dumbass..." Envy muttered. He walked back to the mirror and continued his transformations. Greed's day was usually the same too. When at home, they rarely saw each other. Greed couldn't stand seeing Envy's face, therefore the guy goes out alot. Usually to Dublith, or maybe even for a walk around the Forest. Though, he too was rarely home due to missions, the guy is given a break once in a while. Envy and Greed sometimes even got seperate missions so on some occasions they never saw each other for months. His days were most likely spent like this:
Greed's To-do List
1. Go on missions
2. Sleep
3. Go for a walk
4. Hit the Bar
5. Find a nice place to be surrounded by young women
Envy chuckled as he walked back over to Greed. He stuck his tongue out at the Ultimate Shield. Greed, who was asleep didn't notice anything at all. The guy just snored away... Envy pulled his face down and stretched his cheek, taunting Greed in his sleep. Envy transformed his face into Greed's. The Same spiky hair, sharp teeth and sturdy jaw. Envy enjoyed making funny faces with Greed's face. The Ultimate shield's face was funny as it is!
"Ooh look at me, I'm greed the dumbass!" Envy mimicked stupidly.
"Hrrrrmmm..." Greed mumbled.
"Huh?" Envy looked down at Greed. "you said something?"
"Hrmm..." Greed mumbled and turned over, "Easy, Easy... there's enough of me to go around, ladies... Hrm..."
"What the hell...?" Envy stared down at the idiot. Slowly Envy pulled off the dirty magazine from the Guy's face. He must be having a good dream... "Sick bastard..." The palm tree lifted the Magazine and skimmed through the pages. Eyes twitching in disgust, horror and angst. "I take that back..." A Homunculus that enjoys the company of humans... Envy couldn't see himself like that. It was very, very wrong. "So this is what you spend your allowance on... Human trash."
"Don't worry Elizabeth..." Greed mumbled, "I'll go easy on you..."
An Idea struck Envy, he smiled evilly. If he played his cards right, Greed would have the shock of a life time. He transformed his face into that of a pretty woman's. Slender eyes, Dark hair, tanned skin, bright lips and even a tight body. Envy pushed the hair back as he looked at the reflection of the antique mirror. It was the perfect plan to destroy that man's dream down to the gutter! Envy tapped his chest and coughed.
"Testing... testing..." Envy replied in a femanine voice. The sound was rather high pitched.
"Hrm... Let's try that again..." Envy tapped his chest again, "Testing, Testing... Nope, too girly..."
"Testing, Testing..." His voice was now low and sexy. "Perfect..."
The Palm tree head sat in front of the couch, whispering into Greed's ear. Inside his devious mind, Envy was laughing hysterically. "Ooh, Greed..." Envy began in his sexy female voice, "Don't forget about me..."
"Alexandra!" Greed replied in his happy-sleep state. "I could never forget about you!"
Envy snickered, What a dimwit. The guy's hopeless... Envy continued with his toying around. "Oh, Greed I just love that tight body of yours, do you work out?"
"Of course, didn't I tell you that yesterday?" Greed mumbled happily, "You're looking hot, as usual, today."
"Oh stop." Envy giggled in his girl voice.
"No, really..." Greed grabbed Envy's shoulder and pushed him closer. "I like it..."
"What the hell are you DOING?" Envy yelled, attempting to free himself. Unfortunately, the Ultimate Shield's grip was tight around his shoulder. "Let me go!" Envy swatted Greed's head with the magazine. Nothing. Envy slammed his fist at Greed's head. Nothing. once again the guy didn't wake up nor did he release Envy. Envy was beginning to scream in Agony.
"Don't be shy." Greed mumbled in his sleep. The Ultimate Shield grabbed Envy's lips. A passionate kiss, I might add. Greed lives to please. Greed thought Envy was a woman, Envy thought Greed was a dead man... a dead man, indeed...
... yeah...
They were like that for a good 4 or 5 Minutes... Envy's face was pale and he looked like he fainted from the shock. Greed finally opened his eyes slowly... Expecting to see some hot babe in his arms. Obviously what he saw was not a hot babe... it wasn't even a babe at all. "Mmmm...? Hmmm? What the...?" He rubbed his eyes hoping he was seeing things.
...He blinked once.
...Then He blinked twice...
...Three times...
His eyes widened at what he was locking lips with. He shoved Envy out of his arms and yelled. The two stared at each other... both pale and downright disturbed. Envy couldn't believe he touched that disgusting freak. Greed couldn't believe he was holding the old hag in his arms... let alone actually kissed the old hag. They glared for a moment and then...
"What the hell...?" Greed was pale. His eyes bugging out...
"GYAAAAAAAAAAAH!" They both yelled at the top of their lungs.
"You sick bastard! What the heck do you think you're doing?" Greed yelled at Envy. "Is this another one of your SICK jokes? If it is, than this is not funny!"
"What did I Do? EXCUSE ME?" Envy yelled, "You're the one that grabbed ME!"
"WHAT?" Greed yelled, "Why the heck would I touch an old hag like you!" Greed began to spit and sputter, whiping his lips and coughing. "Sick! I kissed a crossdressin freak! Oh man, Disgusting!" He jumped from the couch and walked around coughing and gasping. "My lips are poisoned! Ruined! I'll never be able to kiss another woman!" He spat whatever was in his mouth, "Ugh, sick! And did I just feel some TONGUE?"
"Quit your freaking complaining!" Envy kicked Greed, "It was YOUR fault that you GRABBED ME!"
"My fault?" Greed yelled, "How is it MY fault? I don't kiss ugly people! Let alone men!"
"Take that back, Dumbass!" Envy yelled back, "Not my fault you were having WET dreams! Sick Moron! I'm the cutest thing you'll EVER live to SEE! And unlike you, I don't have ridiculous dreams about HUMAN WOMEN!"
"Bitch!" Greed spat, "I was having such a NICE dream too, untill you trashed it! It's bad enough you torment me in life, now you want to torment my dreams, too?"
"Well, maybe if you didn't sleep like a lazy bastard all the time I wouldn't have done it!" Envy replied mockingly.
"Now you've done it." Greed growled. "You're just asking for an ass kicking."
"Ooh, look at me! I'm the ultimate Idiot who has fetishes for human women!" Envy mocked. He transformed his head into Greed's.
"You're pushing it..." Greed twitched in anger. "You don't want to see me angry... believe me."
Greed rammed full force into Envy as they both tumbled down the Spiral Staircase. They Enchanged blows, curses, swears and threats. Greed slammed his fist into Envy, Envy slammed his fist into Greed. The two completely trashed the room, Dante's favorite study.
Act IX: He started it!
"You've been a great help around the house." Dante complimented her apprentice. "And slowly, you're getting better at Alchemy."
"You really think so?" The girl asked almost hopefully.
She's been working in Dante's house for 5 years now, learning Alchemy and taking care of the house. She was still the shy, pale faced girl 5 years ago, nothing really changed. Her daily duties were cleaning, cooking and tending the garden. Rarely, did she ever see Envy and Greed around the house. They left for "business trips" and only arrive maybe once every two months. If anything, she looked forward to her lessons on Alchemy, and during her free time she read some basic Alchemy books in the library. She liked Lady Dante, she was very kind...
"Yes," Dante smiled, "Now dear, maybe it's time to begin your lessons for today?"
"I cleaned your study the other day, Lady Dante." The girl replied, "I hope its to your liking..."
"Oh?" Dante laughed, "I'm sure it looks splendid."
The two opened the door to Dante's study, smiles on their faces. Sadly, those faces didn't last very long. Books were scattered, Furniture was broken, Papers everywhere, Broken floors, walls and windows the room was a complete wreck. The two women stared in almost shock and disbelief. Dante quickly dismissed her apprentice. The girl rather shocked and pale-faced left without a word. Master Greed, and Master Envy destroyed Dante's favorite study... this was something she shouldn't meddle with. Dante's face was a mixture of anger, confusion and more anger...
Envy and Greed were rolling on the ground and savagely beating each other up. Luckily, they weren't in their true forms so the Apprentice didn't see much. Envy was on top of Greed, the palm tree head was savagely beating Greed's face and pounding away at his shield. Greed on the other hand, had longer arms than Envy. The Ultimate shield had his grip around Envy's neck in attempt to Suffocate him. Dante was pissed off.
Greed grabbed Envy and slammed his head through the wall. The Wall was now a pile of rubble. Envy slammed his foot into Greed's torso, it didn't hurt much but Envy's wild attacks did more damage on the surrounding room than on the Ultimate Shield. Envy now on top was slamming his fists down on Greed's face.
"You- stupid- little- Dumbass-" Envy yelled in unison with his Punches, "How- dare- you- touch- my- cute- face!"
Greed threw Envy off, "Hey, hey, don't be blaming me! You started it!"
"Oy, oy, You make such a loud racket for someone who doesn't have a brain." Envy taunted.
They were now on the other end of the room. The two homunculi facing each other dangerously.
"Ugly old hag!" Greed yelled from the other end of the room.
"Stupid Dumbass!" Envy called back.
"Cranky, tight-assed Bitch!"
"Moron!"
"Bastard!"
"Cross dresser!"
"Lazy ass Pervert!"
"Ooh... that hurt."
Dante was bewildered and quite speechless... Was she raising Homunculi, her own weapon of mass destruction, or was she tending some stupid Day care? These two were fighting like children, and calling each other meaningless names... Not only that, they destroyed her favorite study! She clapped her hands together, the alchemic circle activated. The ground in which they stood on tightened and twisted around them. The two Homunculi's attention was now on Dante who walked across the room. Her face expressed a silent anger.
"Lady Dante..." Envy smiled, "Is it time for your lesson, already?"
"Yo." Greed replied.
"What is the meaning of this madness?" Dante asked calmly.
"Well, it's a funny story..." Greed began. "But really, you caught us on a bad time..."
"You shut up." Envy snickered, "It was your fault to begin with."
"How was it my fault?" Greed asked pissed off, "If you didn't bug me in my sleep, this would have never happened."
"Oh, how immature." Envy laughed, "Blame your big brother for you ridiculous stupidity."
"You started it!" Greed snapped.
"No, you did!" Envy snapped back.
"You two..." Dante began.
"He started it!" They both yelled in unison.
"SILENCE!" Dante clapped her hands again. The floor formed into two stone fists and were chucked in both of the Homunculi's mouth. They could tell, Dante was pissed off. "I don't care who started it! You two trashed my study!"
"..." Both of their mouths were covered, unable to reply. Not like they wanted to anyway...
"You two act like children! What is the meaning of this nonsense? Forget it, I don't even want to hear a word!" Dante slowly began to fix the destroyed room with alchemy. Cleaning up their mess was not only annoying but it pissed the living crap out of her. It's hard being a single mother. "Maybe, I should punish you both... hmm?" Dante began to think, "What would be a good punishment? Maybe I should...?"
"Kill you again and again until you beg for mercy?"
"Pin you onto the wall for weeks on end?"
"Help me with my gardening?" Dante began to laugh, "Ho, ho, ho what fun!"
The Two homunculi stared... this lady was scary... and possibly insane. Greed knew better than anyone that Dante's gardening was probably the most boring and most torturous of all punishments. Flowers... so many Flowers... It was terrifying... Envy knew well that being pinned on a wall was no fun at all. Needles attached to your limbs as you hang from the wall, floor or ceiling... like when an insect is pinned onto a piece of cardboard.
"Hey, hey...Kinda... harsh don't you think?" Greed asked.
"Just be a man and handle it." Envy replied with a grim expression on his face. "When she's angry there's not much to be done."
"It was just a little accident..." Greed replied, "Eh, nevermind..."
"I would have expected you to have more respect than that, Greed." said Dante. (And the speech every parent atleast said once to their child.) "I raised you, fed you, gave you a home, and I created you as well..." Dante's piercing glare stabbed into Greed. "The Least you can do is not destroy this house and accept my punishments easily..."
"Huh?" Greed turned his head slightly so he could face his creator. "It doesn't matter, right? Punishment or not... I mean, we can't die remember."
"That doesn't mean you are immortal." Dante walked over to one of her book cases. "There's a fine line between immortality and being a homunculus..."
Meanwhile... Dante's apprentice was waiting out in front of Dante's study. She heard quite the ruckus from the inside... curious she intently listened on. Her eyes widened at the word, 'Homunculus'.
"Homunculus...?" The apprentice pressed her ear to the door. "What are they talking about...?"
Dante flipped through a small book she usually wrote notes in. Anything involving Alchemy, philosopher's stone and Homunculi, Dante of the Forest encrypted them into many series of difficult codes. It was valuable information that she held dearly... Dante was an expert at encrypting codes and hiding data... "A homunculus only lives as long as the Red Stones support them, one can easily force them out with the proper... process." Dante giggled, "Immortality doesn't exist in this world. Not for humans and not for Homunculus."
"..." Greed only stared. The Ultimate Shield didn't like where this was going.
"But don't worry, You are evolution compared to those useless humans..." Dante began, "Humans are corrupt, easily succumbed to temptation, easily manipulated..."
"Your point?" Greed asked.
"They wage war on one another, they kill one another, they destroy the land and nature falls from them..." Dante's face now became stern... "Humans are despicable, weak and evil things."
The apprentice's eyes widened. She was peaking through the door, listening in on the conversation. She couldn't believe what she just heard. Humans were despicable? Evil? Weak? This wasn't the same Dante she grew up to admire, she wasn't the Dante that taught her Alchemy and gave her a place to stay... was she? Her hands began to shake... who were these people? And did Lady Dante say... Homunculus?
"Oy..." Greed glared at Dante, "But you're human... aren't you?"
"I thought I told you already, Greed." Dante closed the small book in her hands, "I am no longer human."
Envy chuckled. What an interesting thing to say. She wasn't human? Then what in the world was she? Envy suddenly looked up, there was someone here... he spotted the slightly opened door. And the human looking through it. A treacherous smile appeared on his face... So... they weren't alone.
The Apprentice couldn't believe what she was hearing... Lady Dante was... Lady Dante isn't... She wasn't even human? Wide eyed the young girl slowly fell on the floor, her hands gripping the ground. Tears were flowing out of her eyes... Homunculus, Alchemy, Lady Dante... "No..." She grabbed her head, covering her ears, "No, no... it's not true... Please say it isn't true!"
"Oh, but it is."
The girl looked up, shocked to see Envy watching her. He was sitting by the stairs outside of the room. The smile on the homunculus' face was dangerous, almost evil. "Master Envy!" She gasped, "W-what are you doing here?"
"I was going to ask you the same thing, Human." Envy answered. "Eavesdropping is a big offense in this house, you know..."
"I..." the girl stammered, "I was just..."
"What are you doing here, girl?" Envy asked almost laughing in delight. "You heard everything didn't you?"
The girl silently nodded.
"Little bitch, If you're eager to listen in, then by all means!" Envy grabbed the girl and kicked the door open, tossing the apprentice onto the floor. Dante and Greed looked up curiously.
"Envy?" Dante adressed the Homunculus, "What's the matter?"
"Why don't you ask the human?" Envy asked kicking the girl on the floor. Dante's apprentice gave a small yelp of pain as she was tossed to the other end of the room. "Looks like we were being eavesdropped." Envy giggled, "How much did you hear, little girl?"
"..." The girl gave no reply. Her body shaking from the pain...
"Hmm... Really..." Dante sighed, "I expected you to be a good apprentice and do what you were told. Didn't I dismiss you already?"
"You did... but..." The girl replied, "Lady Dante... Lady Dante, are you really...? Is master Envy, and master Greed...?"
"Looks like everyone seems to be annoying me today." Dante revealed a small, evil smile. "It's a pity... really it is..."
"Lady Dante...?" The apprentice was once again forced down by Envy's foot.
"You seemed to be the perfect candidate for my next body..." Dante sighed, "Well... I suppose I could always find another." She crossed her arms and stared out the window. "Now, since you heard too much, I simply just can't let you live. You must understand, there are secrets not even you can know." Dante closed the book in her hand and walked up to the girl. Staring down at the pitiful young woman below her. She served the household for 5 years now... "Don't worry, dear... I promise it won't hurt too much."
"Can I kill her?" Envy asked eagerly. "It's been a while since I killed anyone..." Envy cracked his knuckles, "I really need to blow off some steam..."
"Hold, Envy." Dante stopped him, "I think we should give the job to Greed."
"Huh?" Greed looked up, "Why me?"
"Why him?" Envy asked. "Let me do it!"
Dante smiled. The Ultimate Shield glared at his creator... this bitch was toying with him. Testing his loyalty. He broke free from the binds on the floor and walked up to the girl. His shoulders slouched forward, and hands in his pocket. Envy and Dante watched intrigued... Greed wasn't use to killing people yet. Let alone women... The Ultimate shield covered his eyes with his black shades and grabbed the girl by the collar.
"Master Greed..." The girl gasped. His grip tightened around her neck.
"Sorry kid... it was a mistake for you to come here." Greed replied with a grim face. The black Diamond-like skin began to creep from his chest to the rest of his body. He was some kind of monster... his Skin was black, sharp teeth and his eyes were a deep red. Greed's true form was one to behold. The girl gave a small gasp at the "monster" before her... he was not human. He was a homunculus...
"I see..." The girl closed her eyes. Some tears appeared.
"Oy, Ultimate shield!" Envy called, "Hurry it up! If you don't I'll be glad to kill it for you! Hurry, Hurry, Hurry!"
"See ya later, Kid." With one swift strike, Greed's hand stabbed straight through the girl's chest. Her eyes darkened and her breath stopped. Greed dropped the kid on the floor. Her face was now completely pale and cold. The blood from the wound covered the floor, the red pool was fresh. The girl lay cold and alone in her own blood. Dante's apprentice. The girl with no name was dead.
"Ooh, nice work." Envy whistled in amusement, "So you actually have a gut, afterall."
"What does that mean?" Greed asked eyeing Envy with anger.
"Just didn't think you would kill a girl, nice job." Envy snickered.
"Hey, Envy..."
"What?" Envy asked.
"I think I understand why we can't be around humans..." The Ultimate shield looked up, "It's because we can't feel what they can... Isn't that right?"
"Yep, besides..." Envy kicked the girl's body, "Humans are such foolish creatures."
"Envy, Greed..." Dante got up and headed for the door, "Bury her in the backyard, where all the other graves are."
The Two homunculi wrapped up the dead body and obediently did what they were told. Nightfall was soon upon them. The backyard was very large, consisting of a garden and a small graveyard the two silently performed their job. The Body was buried in a nameless grave. Greed, crouching near the small slabs of rock, only stared... These graves were the final sleeping ground of all of Dante's husbands and old bodies. He looked around... Greed didn't know what his name in his previous life was... but the Ultimate Shield knew... somewhere here, was his final resting ground as well. Someday, when his body will fail him, Greed too will be buried back here. In this Graveyard, he'll be put to rest just like all of Dante's other husbands and bodies...
"Hey Dumbass!" Envy called, "Let's get going!"
Greed got up and walked through the gate of the garden. His hands in his pocket, a cigarette in his mouth and his shoulders slouched forward. "I'm coming..." Greed replied. The Ultimate Shield finally knew... He was happy to be alive. He was happy to be breathing and living at this moment, and hopefully for a long time after. He was alive, and he'll live life to the fullest.
To be Continued
Well the First chapter was for laughs. xD Sorry that's as close as these two would probably get. Haha well anyway...
For now, My updates will probably be a bit slower. Thank you all for those who enjoyed my story. I might update every two or three days now depending on the circumstances. I have a huge stomach ache now though... ugh...
Let's see... hmm... some goodies. How about one of my poems I wrote? Hmm? For my next story I'm planning on writing a series of poems for each Full Metal Alchemist Character. I hope you guys like this small sample. Yes I am a poet! Anyway, Enjoy!
You're Greed, My Greed
You wanted Gold, Glory, and woman galore
The Second homunculus that Dante was to implore
An undying pride, trust and a diamond like shield
Along with your comrades, you fell upon the battle field
Hating the other 6 you wanted to be free
You were betrayed by that bastard Alchemist, kimbley
People called you the idiot monster name Greed
But was I the only one who cried to see you bleed?
You were told since Birth, that you have no soul
You were even created to play the minor role
So many wanted you to be put to the death
But to me and many others, you'll always be the best.
Broken and Bleeding you fell before Ed
"Beat them, you can do it." Was the last thing you said.
Created by broken pieces of flesh, blood and bone
Breaking from your prison you found out that you weren't alone.
You wanted the girls, the car and to be rich
Too bad you were weakened by Dante, that no good... B!tcH!
Greed, Greed the Free homunculi
Just once, Just once, you wanted to fly
Open your hands to grab what's in your reach
Giving Confidence to Al and Ed, was the last thing to teach
Everything, Everyone is something to yearn
But death and Rebirth is an important lesson to learn
You yearned for a home with no locks, walls and seals
The Only homunculus who liked how that woman feels
One by one you lost a comrade
A question remains... were you truly that bad?
and there you have it, this is my rhyme
By the time he hears it, there won't be much time
My one true love was the one named Greed
Even though, You weren't the one who played role Lead
Spread your hands and reach forward, afar
Always, forever you'll be my brightest Star
Dead, alone and gone like the rest
My home and yours is by the name of Devil's Nest
-A poem dedicated to Greed
-Written by Krazydog! XD A.K.A Psychodog!
Tell me how you liked it, yeah? Anyway see ya laters!