My God, a review at last! faints
Chaos: kicks Hey wake up you lazy bum!
DarkElena: ...owww...hey wait, when did YOU get here? Oo
Chaos: You left the door open...ninny.
DarkElena: ...I'm not going to reply to that.
Chaos: She just doesn't have the mental capacity to handle an argument with the Lord of the Universe! basks in self-showered glory
DarkElena: Ignore that egoistical prick. Oh and in response to keyquis, yeah I think Goh and Mawata would make a good pair too, but I like Kei better. Haha. Let's move on with the story after that tiresome little thing known as the Disclaimer. And sorry about the delay in posting!
Disclaimer: How many times do I have to type this out? I don't own Pretear! See this! shows everyone empty pockets I won't be the poor student I am if I did own this...
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Before The Light
Chapter 4
Kei didn't dream. That is, he didn't usually have them. Why not? Most people had dreams.
Freud's interpretation of dreams stems from a causal point of view. He looked upon dreams as merely answers to internal stimuli, which are usually unfufilled wishes that in most cases are conflicting in nature. On the other hand, Jung's intepretation also evaluated dreams from the standpoint of finality, which when boiled down, essentially comes to fruition in the form of 2 questions: "What is the purpose of the dream?" and "What effect is it meant to have?".
Kei didn't dream.
If taking Freud's method of evaluation into account, it suggested that the blonde knight didn't have any conflicting unfufilled wishes. That in itself was a curious phenomenon, as most ordinary people will always have conflicting wishes in their lives. Granted, Kei was a Leafe Knight and far from the model of normality. However, given his peculiar status and unusual experiences in an overly-extended lifespan, you would think that he would have picked up a few repressed desires along the way.
Kei didn't dream. He never did. He never thought he would.
But he was having one now.
And for a first-time dream, it didn't even have the decency to be a nice, fluffy one with adorable pink sheep or purple giraffes. Heck, given the fact that he was male, it couldn't even be a wet dream, just for kicks. No, it just had to be a nightmare, and a truly horrifying one to boot.
Life was not being very good to Kei at that point in time.
His room was illuminated by the weak rays of sunshine streaming in through the large windows to the right of his king-sized bed, giving the place a light, airy feel. A light, airy feel that stopped at the bed. Instead, a peculiar oppressiveness seemed to hover over the Knight of Light, who was mumbling incoherently in his sleep as sweat beaded on his forehead. His long blonde tresses, free from their usual bindings, were plastered in a sickly sort of manner on his fevered skin. The covers on the bed had long since been thrown aside somewhere earlier in his distressed slumber, and revealed the fact that he was wearing only a pair of silken boxers.
As mentioned so many times before, Kei was a Leafe Knight. What did the life of a Leafe Knight entail? Well, the job description was fairly simple: to look after the Leafe of the world, and battle evil things that tried to upset the natural balance. Oh, and did I mention the fact that Leafe Knights don't age once they've reached full physical maturity? Yes, ladies and gentlemen, they don't die unless killed by something or other, and a combination of luck, skill, and an extended period of peace in the world can mean that a Leafe Knight will have a lifespan of anything from a few decades to a few centuries.
So what was the point of the above ramble? Just think about it. What do you get when you live for so long? Memories, naturally. And given the job description, the memories involved can hardly be all sweetness and light. Fighting, whether for justice and peace or not, rarely brings good memories. You lose friends and comrades on the battlefield. You see death and destruction. An abnormally extended lifespan pretty much means that you get to see normal, mortal acquaintances die of old age. The worst part of that is that you can't even form permanent attachments to "normal" people, since for one thing, you don't age, which makes people kind of suspicious. The second thing is that losing friends can hardly do any good to your long-term emotional health. Going crazy or falling into depression isn't really an option for a Leafe Knight.
Kei had discussed that point with Sasame several times. Eventually, they came to a conclusion as to how the Leafe Knights maintain their sanity.
Firstly, the presence of their fellow Leafe Knights. They are the only constant in that existence beyond the normal human plane. You almost have to have a constant in such a life, since everything else in the mortal plane will fall away and die eventually. Even when a Leafe Knight falls, eventually they will be reborn, provided that at least one of the Knights is still standing. So, therein remains a form of stability for the team.
Secondly, the whole dying-and-being-reborn thing. When Leafe Knights die, they are reborn with no memory of their past cycle, save for knowledge of their elemental powers and innate sense of duty to their cause. The Light and Sound Knights had always wondered why they did not retain the memories, since those memories could possibly have contained useful information such as battle techniques and the like. The answer, when they found it, was simple.
Memories can be a burden. Especially taking into account the length of time that the Leafe Knights have been around, which amounts to several eons, the weight of thousands of years of memories can be very heavy. To start with no memories is in a sense giving that particular Knight a clean slate to work with, so that he would not be burdened with the mistakes or failures of the past, and also not to rest on his own victories and stay stagnant. Besides, sometimes ignorance is a kind of bliss.
Kei had been knocking around for a few decades already. This past couple of centuries were chaotic, from wars in the human world to wars in their peculiar little world. It had resulted in knights falling and being reborn rather quickly (in the long view, 50 years seems pretty short). The last time the Leafe Knights were so busy was probably around the 16th century or so (he checked world history for incidents of turmoil to reach that particular conclusion).
A embattled groan came from his chapped lips, as he tossed and turned feverishly in the throes of his nightmare. His fists were practically digging open holes in his sheets, so tight he was clutching them. His face twisted in one of his lesser-used expressions, that of fear and hopelessness.
I suppose I have kept you wondering long enough. What in the world could possibly freak Kei out that much, even though it was just a dream? Of course, nothing short of another doomsday scenario could coax such feelings, much less expressions. of fear out of Kei. That was what happened normally anyway.
'Normally', however, didn't apply to dreams, and it certainly didn't apply now.
Well, since you've all been so nice to read through all that above nonsense, let's take a peek into Kei's dream, shall we?
x-x-Kei's dream-x-x
I can't see.
Where am I?
I can't see a thing.
I'm cold.
It's dark.
I can't see anything.
So dark.
I need light.
Why aren't my powers working?
I'm cold.
I need to see.
...help...
Kei stumbled back, falling on his behind. The darkness was everywhere, all around. It was pervasive, seductive. He didn't like it. He couldn't even see himself, for Leafe's sake! It was as if he did not exist, swallowed up by an absolute darkness.
Is there a floor?
No, it's not. It doesn't feel like anything.
There's has to be a floor somewhere.
I'm not falling, but there's no floor?
...then what the heck am I sitting on?
Confusion filled Kei, and with it came uncertainty and fear. He didn't like not knowing things. He needed to see. He needed to know what was around him. He needed to be in control. He certainly wasn't now.
It's cold.
I need light.
Where are everyone?
I can't hear anything.
I can't see anything.
I'm alone.
Kei shuddered, hugging his arms to himself, as if trying to ascertain to himself that, at the very least, he himself was still there. For the Knight of Light, not being able to see anything at all in this all-consuming darkness was one of his deepest fears. Gritting his teeth, he tried again to summon some light, no matter how feeble it would be due to his exhaustion. Even the tiniest of sparks would be an immense comfort in this fog of darkness that he had been enshrouded in.
It's not working!
I hate the dark.
Someone help me...
Goh? Sasame? Hayate? Mannen? Hajime? Shin?
Can anyone hear me?
I don't want to be alone.
The silence was deafening. It was drowning his senses, the silence ringing like a mocking bell in his ears. He clasped his hands to his ears reflexively, knowing even as he did so that it was a pointless move. You can't block silence out. It just didn't work that way.
Terror was beginning to set in, one of the most basic, most primitive of emotions. Kei felt sick, the bile was rising in his throat from the sheer amount of fear he was feeling. He hated feeling weak and helpless. He was supposed to help the weak and helpless, not be in that position himself!
With that thought came a certain amount of despair and self-loathing, alien emotions to the Knight of Light. His character makeup was essentially based on the light, as his role entailed. Being part of the light element gave him a more optimistic outlook (tainted by realism for him), as well as a never-say-die attitude even in hopeless situations.
Needless to say, the surfacing of such negative emotions in him caused yet another wave of negativity to rise in him. He despised those emotions in himself, and by extension, despised himself for feeling that way. It was deadly, vicious cycle, negativity multiplying upon itself until the weight of it crushed the Light Knight inexorably down, chipping at his self-confidence and filling it with doubt and feelings of inadequacy.
Then, it got worse, just when Kei didn't think it could get any worse, given his current state of half-crazed fear. It was a tribute to what few shreds of his self-discipline he had left that he hadn't snapped yet.
Nobody's coming I can't feel them they all left me all alone I hate this help me no no no...
The darkness shifted. If it had been cold and unfeeling before, it grew even icier now, and a growing sense of malice and insane glee overlaid it. Kei gasped as the darkness grew thicker, squeezing the oxygen out of the air. He couldn't breathe, and his stomach rolied with a sickly turn as the remmants of his previous meal threatened to desert him.
Not feeling so noble now are you?
Kei looked around blindly, his head turning this way and that, trying to ascertain where the voice was coming from. But it was an exercise in futility, for the voice was sourceless, one with the darkness.
So weak...so helpless... I could easily crush you right now, and no one would be the wiser.
Who are you? What are you? Let me out!
But I won't kill you. It's too little a punishment for spoiling my plans. Puny little knight, letting your defenses down will be the death of you. Didn't your master teach you anything at all?
I don't know! I don't care! Let me go! I don't know what you mean!
Nothing? How foolish. How easy this will be. You want me to let you go, yes?
Whatever you are, just let me out now or else!
The voice, if it could be considered a voice, laughed at Kei's blustering. When it spoke again, it sounded amused, with just the barest hint of malice coating its words.
Weak, foolish little knight. Barely a child. Of course I will let you go. It's no fun killing you now.
Kei shivered rather violently as the words cut through him like the sharpest of knives. Despite his fear and uncertainty, he felt vaguely defiant as his personality and natural tenacity came to the fore. Steeling himself, he waited for whatever came next, his other senses alert as the darkness precluded him from seeing a thing.
The voice chuckled at his renewed backbone. Perhaps you're not a baby after all, little boy.
Kei was about to retort when he was struck heavily in the gut, doubling him over. The blow sizzled through skin and flesh, burning and freezing all at the same time. Howling in agony, his self-control finally snapping, he clutched at his abdomen as PAIN lashed at him like an unrelenting gale.
He could vaguely sense the cold, mocking malice of the voice that had taunted him even as the darkness shifted and blurred around him. Even as he finally lost his senses, he heard a faint insectlike stridulation screeching from somewhere around him.
It was the last thing he remembered before the pain overwhelmed him.
x-x-End dream-x-x
Like a drowning swimmer, Kei hauled himself up and out of the darkness and finally came to, his eyes struggling to open. His whole body ached, and even the slightest shift of his muscles under the skin hurt like hell. He gave up trying to pry his eyes open and settled for a narrow slit of vision, for which he was already eminently thankful for given his ordeal.
The light was blinding, a fact he didn't particularly mind. The fact that there was light was comfort enough.
Noises. He could hear the sound of the wind through the window, the chirping of birds in the distance. Everything sounded fresh and wonderful. He wondered if that's how Sasame felt all the time, given the Sound Knight's prenaturally acute sense of hearing.
"Kei! Wake up!" The blonde struggled to separate the mash of words into intelligible phrases as his wearied mind struggled to keep pace. By the time he figured out what was being said (or more accurately, yelled) to him, he was being shaken rather violently by whoever was calling out to him. That very action sent shockwaves of intense agony rippling through his body, and he let out a pained yell as his eyes snapped open reflexively.
When his vision cleared, he blinked at the crowd gathered in his room. The younger knights were at the foot of his bed, while Hayate and Himeno were to his left, Himeno seated on the edge of his bed with worried eyes, and the Wind Knight standing behind her, looking equally, if not more worried. Goh was on his right, and it had been him who had shook Kei. The blonde knight gave his fiery counterpart a venomous glare promising all sorts of pain, and Goh shrank back visibly, inching off the bed.
Everyone was staring at him, making him just a tad uncomfortable. What were they looking at? More to the point, what were they doing in his room?
"How are you feeling Kei? We heard you scream, so we came to check it out..." Himeno asked tentatively, her eyes straying from his face to the rest of his body. Kei raised an eyebrow, was she checking him out or something?
"I'm fine...just need rest..." His voice came out more weakly than he intended it to, making him curse his weakness mentally.
There was an awkward silence in the room. Kei eyed them suspiciously, feeling his headache get worse. What were they so uncomfortable about? "I'm telling you, I'm fine, so just leave me alone!" Kei finally burst out, his own vehemence surprising himself.
Goh's face twitched, as did Hayate's. They showed a certain amount of surprise at his outburst. Finally, Mannen broke the ensuing silence by yelling.
"You CAN'T be alright Kei! You've got blood all over you!"
Blood? Kei thought woozily, his mind not quite getting it. Looking down at his own body, he finally realised why they were all staring at him. Funny he himself hadn't realised it any sooner.
His body was covered with wounds. More specifically, they were wounds from past battles, supposedly long since healed and vanished from sight. Yet now here they were in all their glory, livid scars red with blood, some gaping like an open mouth. The one that immediately seized his attention however, was the seared flesh of his abdomen. The bloodied mess there made the area barely recognisable as once healthy flesh. He dimly recognised it, remembering the searing blow that he was dealt with in that dream.
That dream...was real! Distinct alarm bells rang through his head, even as his world spun once again around him and left him out cold again.
Another long silence ensued in the room.
"We'd better get him to Leafenia," Hayate said finally. The absurdity of the whole situation where which Kei had been apparently unaware of the grievious wounds on himself was heavy on everyone's minds. Out of respect to (and horror at) Kei's wounded state though, everyone held in their instinctive urge to laugh at Kei's disbelieving face when being told about his condition.
The Wind and Fire Knights lifted their unconscious comrade, careful not to jolt him any further in case of reopening any more of those ugly wounds. Mannen opened the portal and all the knights went through.
Himeno was about to follow when a small sound drew her attention to the door, or rather, what was left of it. In their earlier haste to get to Kei, Hayate had blown the whole thing open, resulting in a rather actively graphic display of the phrase "smashing into smithereens", in which wooden shards had sprayed in several directions at high speed. Hajime had had to narrowly avoid being impaled when one particularly large splinter shot off in the general direction of his head.
Mawata stood at the entrance, having followed after the rest at a much slower pace and had recently arrived. She had an unreadable expression as she took in the destruction of the door and the abundance of blood staining the peach colored bedsheets where Kei had so recently been lying on.
"Do I even want to know?" She asked half to herself. Himeno smiled weakly at her step sister's question.
"I'll explain when I come back later," The pink haired girl promised as she made for the portal, before turning back with a stern frown on her face. "You go back to bed this instant young lady! You need rest!" A half-grin graced Mawata's face at that imperious command.
Himeno huffed a little and disappeared into the portal, leaving Mawata alone in the wrecked area of the room. The girl looked around at the wreckage with a mildly curious eye, before carefully stepping over the larger chunks of wood to get clear of the "damage zone". She sighed as she mentally took in the enormity of the damage; wrecked wallpapers, destroyed carpet, bloodstained sheets (better get them to change the whole bed, she mused)...
In comparison, the damage her room suffered was decidedly less marked. She shrugged, it wasn't as if they couldn't afford repairs, and besides, she always wanted to fix her door...
I guess I'll have to get Mr Tanaka to get all these things cleared up...
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DarkElena: Well now that's done.
Chaos: Took you long enough, you lazy procrastinator!
DarkElena: Yeah yeah I know, and I'm really sorry to all my readers! If there are any left that is...
Chaos: Hmpf, any story with me in it should be a hit. Only someone like you could mess it up.
DarkElena: Not funny. Anyway I'll try to post as soon as possible, but I have upcoming tests to study for and that might hold me back a bit. Please be patient!
Chaos: Oh, and review this story. Not for my incompetent companion though. Anyone would be honored to review because of ME.
DarkElena: Again, his ego is way too large. But he's right about one thing...
Chaos: That you're incompetent?
DarkElena: NOT that. Please review everyone! Click that little button at the bottom of the page! It can't be THAT difficult, can it?
Chaos: darkly You can never know...