I don't want to know

by Shiori Kaiou

Autor first comments: This is something I thought was a good idea after my first Usa/Rei fic 'Walk Away'.

Disclaimer: Don't own Sailor Moon.

Usagi walked through the door of hers and Rei's secret place, a little apartment with only a kitchen and a bedroom, normaly Rei and Usagi only stay there for the nights, when they slip from the group, but when everything around them seem so dull and painful to stand, they came here to forget their lifes.

Usagi was having bad days lately, Mamoru was acting really weird, distant and quiet. Usagi didn't blame him, she wasn't acting like herself for a while now too, but, as long as she get pregnant with Chibi-Usa, she wasn't that worry. Yeah that was a cruel thought but that was how she felt.

Walking to the kitchen she found an envelop on the table, 'Must be from Rei' she thought to herself happely and walked to the table, picking it up she look at it and found her name in it... but it wasn't Rei handwriting, it was Mamoru's neat and manly. How does Mamoru found their secret place she didn't know. Walking to the bed in the other room she sat, with shaking hands she open the envelop.

And her eyes widded.

' Princess Serenity

I loved you, I loved you and still do, more than anything in my enterly life. I died for you once and even twice, you were the light of my soul. And now the light that you gave me is dull, not warming my soul, not looking out for me.

The first time I looked into your eyes a thousend and twentyfive year ago, I knew you were the one for me, you gave me a smile and my heart made a flip, you gave me a kiss and I melt into you arms, you were in love with me and I was maddly in love with you. So, we died and I thought our love will suvirve... but I was wrong.

Princess... Usagi... Usa-ko, you loved me for but too little this time. Now, in your heart there is another one, and I can't seem to compete with your new love.

You must be wondering when I figured this out, well it was ovious to me because I loved you and your behavior around me changed so much.

Remember the day I called you to your house? after that huge storm and I thought you have been scared and wanted me to confort you, well... the moment you say hello I knew something was out of place, your voice was huskier and breathless... I thought at first it was because of the storm and you might have been crying, but you have never been like that even if you cried.

I didn't want to think to much of it but I couldn't take that feeling away from me. Since then your actitude to me became cold, distant, and no matter what I did to make you notice me, you simply smile and started talking to the other girls. That hurt me so much.

Something really bother me about your actitude, moving so seductive, but not to me, loking with a look of lust but not me, touching so softly but not me... the object of your moves, looks and touches were... no other than your dear best friend, Rei.

I thought I was alucinating but that wasn't true, you were flirting with her and everything make seens then. There was one time, after a meeting that she asked you to stay, I asked you if you wanted me to wait for you on the car and you told me that it was ok, kiss me on the cheek and ran off, blushed and with a lustful smile on your face. That exact moment I knew I have lost you forever.

Rei made a few trips around the world and I knew you miss her all those years she was away, I proposed to you on one of her trips and your reaction left me cold inside, just a smile, a nod and a kiss on the cheek. That broke my heart, you didn't love me anymore.

And that's why I wrote this to you, I know you two see each other in secret, in this apartment. Don't worry nobody knows but me.

You know Usagi, if you have had told me you didn't love me anymore than keeping it in secret this wouldn't hurt so bad. I know Chibi-Usa must be born and Crystal Tokyo too but... I don't want to suffer anymore... and I don't want you to feel sad because of me. I want you to be free with your love one.

I talked to Setsuna... yes she knew about you two from the begining... Chibi-Usa will be born and so does Crystal Tokyo, though I can't tell you how, you don't need to worry about that now.

Pincess Serenity... you know I, Endymion, will always love you, never leave you and alway protect you.

Usagi Tsukino... your inocence capture me... you broke my heart yeah... but even so, I love you, and wish you luck with your love.

Neo-Queen Serenity... I will not be there with you as your king, but you will always have a friend.

Usagi... Usa-ko, this is the end of everything, by now I will be living in Canada with a friend of mine, you will not know anything about me, for you, I'm already dead, and don't ask if you can contact me because nobody knows my location there, not even Motoki. You can keep the ring if you want, I don't need it anymore.

Good bye for ever Princess...

Chiba Mamoru'

Usagi has tears in her eyes and cheeks by the end of the letter, she couldn't believe everything she put Mamoru through. She wasn't worth his love, she was a cruel person, heartless and careless.

Rei entered the apartment that moment and find a miserable Usagi, crying on the bed with great distress.

"Usa-chan, What happen?" Rei walked to her and embrace her tightly.

Usagi didn't say a word and show Rei the letter. She read it careful and soon was as shocked and as relived by it, Mamoru was out of their lives, this was the happiest day of her life. But Usagi was crying, this means something was not so right.

"I hurt him... I hurt him, Rei!" Sobbed Usagi hiding her face on Rei's breasts.

"Don't cry Usa-chan, you didn't mean it" said Rei smoothly.

"I feel like crap, I'm not worth it, I'm the most heartless person in this world, I must not be its ruler, I'm not worth it"

Rei was feeling really bad, she didn't know what to said or do. "You're the most sweet and caring person in this world, you deserve to rule it because it needs you, Mamoru was right, we should have told him soon".

Usagi cried to sleep, Rei by her side all the time, thinking about what future hold for them. Hoping everything will turn out Okay.

Somewhere, in a distant time two figures looked at the events unfold infront of them. "You think they will be Okay?" ask the first one. "Of course, you know we know that will be" said the second.

Beside them a dark-green haired woman smile, "You must not worry, this will turn out Okay your Majesty... by the way, Small Lady and Princess Serenity are looking for you".

The two figures bid their good byes to the time guarding and left, happely holding hands.

--End--

Autor second comments: Well... what did ya think? short I know. I'm planing of doing it as a trilogy.

Walk away - Usagi and Rei get together (Finished/songfic).

I don't want to know - Mamoru's letter (Finished/fic).

Easier to run - Maybe how Chibi-Usa came to be, and the Senshi reaction (Working/songfic).

This is for the one I love!

For you too readers, you're the best!

Shiori Kaiou