Disclaimer: Same old same old, still don't own anything.

Author Note: Only got one lonely review for the last chapter and I can understand why…it sucked….but anyway thanks to that one reviewer; this chapter is dedicated to you for doing that. And hey it is a little longer, so everyone should be at least a little happier with me.

Chapter Six: We're Worried

Hawkeye stormed out of the SWAMP with angry determined steps with a look that said to anyone, fuck off, I'm not in the mood, which was an unusual thing for Hawkeye.

His feet led him towards a barren dead field hidden by a hill from sight of the 4077th MASH.

He just wanted to scream to get out of this place, but he knew he had no chance, they would be stuck here forever, and if they do leave where they ever truly forget. His body may go home, but will their minds ever truly leave this place?

Funny thing is that's not what's really bothering him. Sure, the place upsets him, but it's not what has been on his mind for the past few days. Plopping down, he pulled out his father's letter and read it again. He already had it memorized, but he just wanted to make sure he didn't miss anything.
'Donny Jackson was released from jail yesterday…'

Released from jail…..was released from jail……nope. The sentence was plain as day, meant exactly how it sounded. No hidden meaning, no reading wrong, everything was the same as the last time he tried to interpret the letter.

Hawkeye sighed and lay back, letting the cool wind lull him to a doze.

He was just waiting, the wounded should be coming in or someone should be coming to look for him, that is if they really cared, he was just waiting for the sound of –

Choppers….

He was up in a heartbeat, taking off at a jog towards O.R.

Margaret just stood in a dumb silence for a while, she had never heard Hawkeye blow-up before, let alone loose his temper and she didn't want to see it again for a very long time. It was frightening, if she didn't know Hawkeye well, she might have thought he was going to hit her, but he would never do that, she can't remember a time when he hit anyone for that matter.

She closed her eyes and just stood there. She should go after him, but she didn't want to press him. She knew he would just shut her out, calling Sydney seemed like a good idea, but something stopped her. If he wouldn't open up to his best friends, would he open up to a psychiatrist? She highly doubted it and knowing him he would probably starting putting on some act to ensure people he was alright, even if he wasn't.

Choppers…..oh damn it, she thought. She made it to O.R last, Hawkeye was already in with a patient, for that she was semi-thankful.

They only had about 10 wounded so it didn't take long to operate on them and get them into post-op. Most were just minor wounds, nothing too terrible.

Margaret kept an eye on Hawkeye the whole time. He seemed normally cheery, so she was right; he was putting on an act. He was joking with BJ and antagonizing Charles, with Colonel Potter getting annoyed, all usual. Half way through operation though, she caught BJ eye and they both knew that this was just an act.

After operations were finished BJ and Margaret met up outside Post-Op and made there way to Colonel Potters office, "maybe he had noticed," Margaret commented, though she highly doubted it.

Her doubt was proven wrong quickly.

"Yes, I've noticed," Colonel Potter said surprising them both.

"You have?"

"Of course I have, you dunderhead, I've been around long enough to know when someone is flat out lying. Though he's doin' a damn good acting job,"

Margaret smiled, "but what do we do?"

"We can't do anything," Potter said, "he wants us to believe he is alright so if we begin to question him he will just get annoyed," he raised a hand to silence BJ's protest, "now look, I know you are worried about him, but I think for now, we just need to give him some space and he should cool down a little and come back to his normal self."

BJ and Margaret were silent for a moment, "but I'm so worried," Margaret said plopping down in a chair, allowing her profession face disappear revealing a concerned worried woman.

BJ sat down next to her, "isn't there anything we could do?" he asked Potter.

"Just keep your eyes open, if there is a sign of change come tell me as soon as you can,"

Hawkeye sighed as he sank to the field floor in the same place behind the hill. He was barely visible amongst the grass that surrounded him. Letting out another content sight he leaned back and made a cushion with his hands, he stretched out his legs and crossed his ankles watching the stars come out one by one.

If anyone wonders where he is, they won't find him and disturb him here. If being the key word. And if they do look for him, he prays that they won't find him here. This is was his sanctuary. Lots of open space, open sky, fresh air…he supposed that maybe he like this place because it was open, he was claustrophobic, severely claustrophobic. So this place was perfect, for him anyway.

His eyes slowly drifted close, so what if he fell asleep? Would anyone think about it to look for him? Besides maybe if he slept out here in the open air he wouldn't have nightmares...

"Haven't seen Pierce lately," Charles said nonchalantly trying not to sound concerned, but he was. Sure he didn't love Pierce, he wasn't his best friend, they could barely call themselves friends, but he was worried. Pierce was not his normal self. Unusually quiet, of course this war got to everyone eventually, even the brightest, perkiest of the group.

But today he seemed his semi-normal self, in a way, he joked and he flirted with the nurses, but he only did a half-hearted job. He didn't even make a sadistic, sarcastic remark to me….

"No, I think he was in the SWAMP," BJ said disrupting his thoughts, "not concerned are you, Charles, don't want you going soft on us…

……don't want you going soft on us…." The attempt at a joke was only half-hearted. It was true; no one had seen Hawkeye lately. He hadn't seen Hawkeye and they usually are always together, one with the other, two peas in a pod. But today the other half was missing.

Hawkeye was dreaming…..

"Hello, amore," his mother looked down at him as she walked in the front door.

"Mom, are you sick?" he asked, with a child's innocence. For a minute his mother's smile faltered and she exchanged looks with his father. At the time he didn't understand the looks, but looking back he knew exactly what they meant.

"Of course not, Hawkeye," she said using his nickname, "I'll always be here for you," that last was a half truth in Hawkeye's eyes.

Looking back again, she wasn't physically always there for him, but spiritually she was.

The scene changed

"Hawkeye, your cousins are waiting…." It was there annual family reunion, technically it wasn't a reunion. The family saw each other year round, the only difference was today there was no point it was just everyone get together for a cookout.

Every year the cousins had a huge soccer game. They split into teams. Hawkeye was the youngest of all the cousins, but the best, he had a natural talent, they all did really, being a 100 Italian family.

The scene changed again

"Hawkeye, amore, I need to talk to you, inamorata,"

"PIERCE!" a voice ripped through the air, jolting him from his semi-good dream. Potter….so they had come looking for him. He sighed they hadn't looked here so won't find his secret sanctuary.

"Pierce, where have you been, it's almost midnight," Colonel Potter was ashen white with worry.

Hawkeye cringed, and Potter noticed because he took a deep breath, "we were worried sick, son,"

"I went for a walk," Hawkeye said, which was in fact half true, "didn't notice the time," he offered a sheepish smile.

"BJ and Margaret were about to call in search teams, they we were worried, we all were,"

"Don't worry, mom, next time I'll tell some one I'm going," he started walked with Colonel Potter next to him silently, making there way to the camp.

"You alright, Pierce?"

"Excuse me, Colonel?"

"Did you just call me colonel?"

"I believe I did, is that a problem?" Hawkeye quipped naturally.

Potter shook his head, "next thing I know you will be saluting me and actually meaning it."

"Goodnight, mom," Hawkeye said as they reached the SWAMP.

"Goodnight, Pierce,"

"Damn it," Sherman muttered as he walked towards his tent, "he completely avoided the question."

End Chapter Six

Sorry it was kind of random, but I wanted a chapter that really showed that everyone was worried about Hawkeye, even if he thought they weren't.

Italian Note:

Amore – love

Inamorata - sweetheart

Update soon, if anyone out there is still reading this.