Hello again! Thankyou so much for the kind reviews! Especially for a silly little fic like this.They are always very much appreciated. And yes,Vivian is indeed that scary zombie thing that hangs out in Murdoc's Winnebago when you visit his room at Kong studios as pointed out by one perceptive reader. I just think that Kong Studios is filled with so much wonderful stuff that you could write about.

I think my story may be heading into 'very weird' territory. If you don't know who Poly is then I encourage you to visit Kong studios. He's just hilarious! I love him!

Zombie Blues Chapter 3

The Scary Bear

"Back back! Gittoff! Arggh! Sunnava….ouch."

Russel's pallid eyes widened as he watched 2D hastily shut the front door. He was in an utterly disheveled state. His shirt was torn almost completely off, his hair was looking as though he had been styled by a blind man with no central nervous system and in one hand he carried a broken baseball bat.

2D and Russel stared at each other for several seconds without exchanging words. Giving a slight cough, the singer ran a hand through his hair and tried to leave to room without being questioned. Russel was having none of this however as he grabbed 2D by the wrist and forced him to sit down in a chair.

"D, what exactly were you doin' out there alone wit those Zombies huh"?

"Nothin'."

"It don't look like nothin' to me!"

"I was jus goin' out t'check the mail…"

Russel looked at his watch.

"At 2:35 in the mornin'?"

"Yeeeah…" 2D didn't want to look the drummer in the eye. He knew he wasn't buying it.

"Well hang on a sec" 2D announced pointed a finger at the drummer. "What are you doin' up at two in the monin' anyway? If y'ask me it seems a bit…suspicious." He finished in an attempt to steer the conversation away from his own night time escapades.

Russel's eyes narrowed dangerously. 2D shifted uncomfortably in his chair wanting nothing more than to go bad to bed and forget this whole event.

"D, you I know I have trouble sleeping. But do you know what makes it even harder?"

2D shook his head.

"When idiots like you decide to go zombie hunting at two thirty in the fuckin' mornin'!

The singer winced and sank in his chair.

"Seriously man! Keep it down! I've had enough of this. If I catch you at this again I'll make you hurt a lot more than those zombies ever could."

He straightened his posture and rubbed his face with one of his large hands. The dark bags around his eyes were noticeable and a sense of fatigue had settled in the giants bones. Giving one last hard stare at 2D he turned around and made his way to his bedroom.

"A'ight, I'm gonna bed. I think you should to D. And try not to die, okay?"

2D watched Russel slowly leave to the room. He breathed out a sigh of relief when he was finally gone. Silhouettes of corpses moved behind the windows and muffled moaning could still be heard. Stuart examined his baseball bat that had been completely broken in half, save a few splinters that held the two pieces together. He threw it over his shoulder and made his way to the kitchen.

2D wasn't exactly zombie 'hunting' as Russel had put it. Rather he was zombie selecting. With his limited cranial capacity the vocalist had concluded that the best way to dispose of a zombie without appearing culpable of the crime was with another zombie. If he was as lucky as Murdoc was to find a corpse that was amenable to sociability, than perhaps he could use it to do his bidding. Of course he couldn't since he hadn't. And that put a bit of a flaw in 2D's plans.

He felt a bit abashed that Russel had caught him, especially since he was doing such a terrible job. He rubbed his scratches and bruises tentatively. Who would have though zombies could be so violent? He mused. No wonder they don't have any friends. He removed the remnants of his shirt and threw them in the bin. He glanced at the clock and saw that it was pushing on three am.

With plan A scrapped it looked as though he was back at the drawing board. He knew that if Vivian was found decapitated with her head on his mantelpiece it may look a tad incriminating. He screwed his eyes together trying to desperately formulate a plan. Think 2D think… If I was me what would I do?

He threw his arms up in frustration.

"Ahh, it's no use! I dunno what to do."

His temple began to throb, which was a familiar sensation that told him a headache was coming on. He instinctively walked towards the kitchen cabinet and retrieved a small brown bottle before downing three small pills.

He sat back at the table to wait for the drugs to take affect as he once again resumed his brain storming. But all he could think of were those cold staring eyes. Drat! I really hate her! I can beat her. I mean, how hard could she be to beat? She is dead after all.

The singer smacked his head on the table. He was feeling quite powerless and worse for wear in the self esteem department. His brain wasn't even capable of outwitting a corpse.

Maybe, he thought. Maybe what I need to do is play the same game.

He slowly raised his head feeling an epiphany coming on.

Yeah! That's what I need to do! If I feel so funny when Murdoc is with someone else then maybe he'd feel the same about me if I got with someone too.

He felt a rush as he basked in the sheer brilliance of his idea. The only difficulty now was finding someone at such short notice to be his partner. The singer scratched his head as he cycled through the people he knew. Although another Zombie would be ideal, his previous encounter with them signaled the end of that plan. Another problem was that he didn't really know anyone who would be willing to be by his side as often as Vivian was with Murdoc.

Rubbing his forehead at the thought of this new obstacle he wondered why the pills weren't taking effect. He got up and walked back to the cabinet to fetch the pill bottle. Horror struck his heart as soon as he looked at the label. With blackened eyes he carefully read:

Extra strength laxatives. Recommended adult dosage – 1 pill.

He then saw his painkillers in a near identical bottle at the back of the cupboard. He stepped backwards with his heart beating twice as fast.

"Why do we even have these!" He cried out.

The singer had to postpone anymore thought to the zombie matter for now as he rushed out of the room. Tonight he had a date with the porcelain express.

2D was in bed after an exhausting night. He rolled over to look at his bedside clock. It was nearly noon. He closed his eyes prepared himself to sleep for another four hours before he heard a soft knock at his door.

"c'min" He said drowsily.

He heard soft padding footsteps and cracked an eye open to view the visitor. He saw a small female figure at the foot of his bed and immediately jumped ten feet in the air.

"Ahhhrg!"

"Calm down 2D san!" Noodle said in shock, keeping her distance from the deranged singer.

"Oh, oh sorry Noodle. I fought you was that zombie for a sec." Said 2D giving a nervous laugh.

The guitarist didn't join in the laughter as she gave 2D a concerned frown. But she did allow herself to come a little closer.

"That is quite alright." She said as she sidestepped the debris that was strewn over 2D's floor. "I came here as Russel san and I were going to see a movie today. We were wondering if you would be interested to join us. "

Rubbing sleep out of his eye with the back of his hand 2D looked up with mild interest.

"Wot movie are you seein'?"

She paused for a moment before answering.

"The Corpse Bride…"

2D blinked several times before flopping back down in his bed and pulling the covers up.

"Fanks anyway Noodle but I fink I'll pass on this one."

"Okay 2D san. That is fine. Have a good sleep in!"

He pulled the sheets closer around his head as he heard Noodle leave and shut the door. He'd had enough of walking corpses for the time being. All he wanted to do was rest and forget about it for a while. He had begun to doze off again when he felt a gentle nudge at his side. He wriggled feeling annoyed and pulled out a hand to push the offender away.

"Noodle! I fought I told you I didn't want to go."

His hand touched something cold. And slimy.

His eyes snapped open.

"Noodle? Is…is that you?" He asked imploringly.

When there was no answer he felt chills go down his spine.

He turned his head around agonizingly slowly. Please oh please oh pleeease let it not be…

There standing in all her grotesque glory was Vivian. Her cold blue lips were turned up slightly in a morbid smirk.

"Aieeeeeek!" 2D rolled backwards and out of his bed, hitting his head quite hard on the side table in the process.

"OW! Ahh, oh god dammit!"

Lying sprawled out on his floor surrounded by bed covers and objects he had taken down with him 2D tried to shake himself out of shock. He tilted his head up and saw that the creature was still there and looking at him as creepily as ever.

He scrambled to his feet grabbing the closest thing in his reach to defend himself, which in this case was a banjo.

"Git back! Git back! I swear, if you come any closer…!"

The Zombie didn't make a movie. Not even a blink. 2D wasn't sure what to do. He was beginning to feel a little silly standing in his underwear and socks brandishing a banjo.

Fortunately he could hear a voice calling in the distance. It was gruff and harsh and coming closer.

The door burst open and Murdoc made his entrance looking around in distaste.

"Vivian luv? Aww there you are! Did the dullard lure you here, you poor thing."

"Poor thing!" 2D cried out in indignance. "It nearly scared me t'death it did!"

Murdoc cast a scowl at 2D.

"Don't mention death around her you Moron. She's very sensitive abou' her condition."

He then looked 2D up and down with a raised eyebrow.

"And I don't think the hillbilly look is really right for you dullard."

They left together with Murdoc uttering words of comfort to the festering monster. 2D stoop agape.

He was seething inside. It was one thing for the zombie to hang around with Murdoc and steal all of his attention in front of him. But to intrude into his personal domain just went too far.

"Right!" He said to himself as he hastily got changed. "I know wot I have to do. But it isn't gonna be pretty."

He shut his bedroom door behind him and made his way to the Kong music studio.

"It isn't gonna be pretty at all."

When Murdoc entered the kitchen for lunch he had to do a double take. He rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't hallucinating. He was having deja vu from his LCD days.

"2D, would it be rude of me to ask why there is a bluddy big polar bear sitting next to you?"

2D felt more embarrassed than empowered. He was beginning to think that his idea wasn't quite the stroke of brilliance he thought it would be. There sitting next to him with one big furry white arm wrapped around his shoulders was indeed a frosty white polar bear.

When he visited the studio kitchen to proposition the animal about becoming his pretend partner, the bear was a little over enthusiastic about the idea. And it wasted no time in jumping into the roll.

"Oh Darling" The bear said with a cheeky smile. "Can't you see that we're together now? And I must say that I've found myself quite a catch. Isn't he just adorable?"

He gave 2D a firm shake and the singer found the blood rising to his face from humiliation.

"Uh, yeah. Um, Murdoc this is Poly, Poly, Murdoc."

He hastily introduced each other, deciding to himself that he would end this sham relationship as soon as possible and find someone better, or came up with a better plan. Whichever came first.

"Brainache" Murdoc said looking straight at 2D. "Since when have you been into gay polar bears?"

2D opened his mouth to speak before being cut off by the impetuous artic animal.

"Can't you see that love is blind hon?"

"Oh god" 2D whimpered wishing that the ground would open up and swallow him there and then.

"I always thought you were a fag dullard" Murdoc said looking quite aghast "But this is at the other end of the fuckin' rainbow." He concluded motioning towards the bear.

"Oh be nice." Poly responded with a limp paw flick.

Murdoc shook his head and went to get what he came for. Although he watched the bear out of the corner of his eye to make sure it wouldn't unexpectedly gay bear attack him.

"Well well, isn't he a bit of a grumpy bum. Not much of a looker either. But you never know with a bit of work done he could look like a regular Robby Williams."

2D Snorted and looked at Murdoc's reaction. He could see that the bassist was choosing to ignore the comments but the twitching eye gave everything away. The bassist loaded himself up with beers before kicking the fridge door shut. He seemed like he was in a hurry to leave. So before he had a chance to 2D casually asked:

"Hey Muds, how's Vivian then?"

"She's fine" He growled and left with haste.

"Well someone has their knickers in a twist." Poly commented.

"Well he did say somethin' to me this time at least." 2D said. "And all it took was a fake relationship with a gay polar bear." He finished with a pout.

"Oh darling" Poly said with a sultry voice. "I know what we could do that would cheer you up…"

"No!" cried 2D falling backwards in his chair.

Curse you Vivian! He thought.

You will pay!

And that was chapter three! Hooray. And because I love you, you get a free joke. I thought of it today while I was eating lamb shanks.

Brutus came up to Julius Caesar and asked him, "Caesar, what is your favourite rock band?"

Caesar thought for a moment and then replied:

"U2 Brutus."

HAHAHAHAHAHA wasn't that soooo funny?

Oh scew you :P