Hello everyone! I'm terribly sorry for the long period between chapters. It's just that so many thing have been happening including me taking a bar course. You may be able to tell since this chapter contains excessive alcohol consumption. So consider this a Christmas present from me :) .AlsoI got myself into university next year. That should keep my busy for a few years until I become a bum again. Ahh, life is good.

Also thankyou Aishiexcel for mentioning my fic in your story. I'm very flattered that anyone would make a reference to it.

Ahh, and this story also contain adult themes... Should I change the rating to M? Aaaaanyway. On to the story!

Zombie Blues chapter 5

The First Day

2D was feelingly a little uncomfortable sitting on the stone floor of the enclosed room. But he didn't want to move or say anything before Murdoc had made a move of his own. The bassist sat on the swivel chair near the blank monitors with an unreadable expression. His eyes seemed to stare into nothingness and 2D could swear he could hear the gears grinding in his satanic mind.

2D shifted slightly to help the circulation to his legs but before he had moved an inch Murdoc had spun around and painfully jabbed a finger in his chest.

"I wouldn't move if I was you."

"Why not?" Frowned 2D tenderly rubbing the spot that Murdoc had just prodded.

The bassist straightened his posture so that he was full height. His figure loomed menacingly over the sunken 2D.

"If you don't talk or move or blink or breathe then maybe, just maybe, I won't kill you. S'pretty generous offer of me actually."

2D Paused for a moment to consider it.

"Hey, wait a sec Muds, that's just silly it is. D'ya think I'm stupid or summink? ... M'eyes will get all dry."

"If you keep your eyes closed they won't dry out dimwit." Murdoc said in amusement.

"Awright smartypants…" 2D trailed off. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He squeezed them shut and tried to stay as still as he could. When his lungs began to burn he felt as though an eternity had passed. He dared to crack an eye open to look at his watch. Gobshite, it's only been 62 seconds. By this time his face was a blue as his hair.

"Alright, alright you bluddy moron, you can breathe for Christ's sake! Honestly. Just when I think you couldn't get any stupider you go and outdo yourself."

"S'no need t'be so mean." Panted 2D as he sprawled himself on the floor. He let his head drop to one side as he properly inspected the room.

"Hey Muds, there's another door over there."

"What? Where?"

"Over there" he pointed "near those shelves."

Murdoc stood up and lumbered over to the door. He ran his fingers over the surface and then with a quick motion of the hand he pushed the door open.

"Ahh, it's just a bluddy bathroom. Well at least I'll have somewhere to escape from you. It's not like I've never spent three days inna' bog before."

"But wot if I need t'use it?"

"Don't care mate." And with that Murdoc promptly shut himself behind the door.

2D was slightly concerned that Murdoc was going to lock himself in a bathroom without food for three days. However the bassist had done things that were far worse, such as the time he had insisted that bleach was perfect for cleaning your insides.

The singer felt that he might as well inspect the room since he had plenty of time. Hoisting himself to his feet and smoothing his hair with one hand he took a few steps towards the shelves. He was unhappy to see that they were mostly basic supplies. There were cans of beans stacked on top of each other while bottles of stagnant water were scattered throughout the other bland ingredients. He was about to sit down again when something caught his eye. His squinted his eyes trying to peer behind the stack of pot noodles. When he began to move them out of the way his eyes grew wide.

"Hey Muds!"

No reply.

"Muds, I fink y'might wanna see this."

Only empty silence came from the bathroom door.

"MURDOC!"

The door burst open and Murdoc hurled himself out in a rage.

"What the fuckin' hell?" He stopped short when his eyes caught on to what 2D had found.

His shocked expression was slowly replaced with a devious smirk. He looked at 2D with a fanged grin and chuckled. "Maybe this wasn't such a bad thing after all."

There, once obscured by cans of beans, were more bottles of alcohol then either 2D or Murdoc had ever seen in their lives. There were beers of every nationality, from Tuborgs to Bass, Guinness to Steinlager. Wines of all colours and flavors stood proudly next to each other, from the red Cabernet Sauvignon to the white fruity Chenin Blancs. But most impressive of all were the spirits and liqueurs. They were in all the colours of the rainbow and glistened as they sat in their spectacular bottles. It reminded 2D of the stained glass windows of the Notre Dame.

Murdoc fell to his knees. What was once a claustrophobic hell hole had been transformed into a veritable paradise.

"Hey Muds! Lookit, they even have glasses. We can have cocktails! And look, there's a fridge over here. I bet it's got ice innit. This is ace!"

"Saint Lucifer! It looks like the guy who stocked this place knew what he was doin'."

The singer saw a Murdoc shaped blur dash past him. The bassist was wasting no time in equipping himself with three bottles of liqueur and a shot glass. 2D raised eye eyebrow in curiosity.

He watched Murdoc carefully layering Baileys, Kahlua and what appeared to be Vodka into a shot glass. "Wot'cha makin'?" He inquired

"This" Murdoc announced raising the glass "Is a blow job" and then proceeded to quickly down it in one swallow.

2D felt himself go slightly red in the cheeks and looked away. "I dun know why they fink they need such silly names."

"Ahh don't be such a pansy. S'half the fun innit. I bet y'know at least one"

2D walked over and picked out two tall and thin bottles. "This one s'pretty simple. An' it should have cream but I dun think there is any. It should be nice'nuff wifout it anyways."

He placed a shot glass on the table and gave a generous dash of Benedictine and Triple Sec into it. They swirled around each other in a miniature vortex and a few drops escaped the glass. He then held it out for Murdoc to see.

"So what d'ya call that then?"

"S'called a 'silent monk'." Grinned 2D

Murdoc snorted as 2D downed the potent liquid. Truth be told, the singer wasn't much of a drinker. He found that the combination of alcohol and painkillers became too much of an intoxicating combination. But 2D decided that if ever there was a time to drink this was it. He wasn't sure that his nerves could handle the prolonged proximity of Murdoc for too much longer without something to ease the tension. Also, there was a bloody load of brilliant grog just screaming to be drunk.

He gave a little shudder as he felt the spirits slide down his throat and warm his belly. By this time the bassist had already drunk three beers and another shot. 2D knew that Murdoc was a heavy drinker but had never quite seen him plow into it like this before. His jaw dropped slightly as he watched in amazement and disgust as the Satanist finished a beer an three seconds flat.

"Slow down Muds, don't firget t'taste it yeah?"

"Shuddup, the sooner I get drunk the sooner I can pass out and quit having to look at your face." He crumpled the can in his fist, threw it over his shoulder and started on another.

2D wrinkled his nose and tried not to look at the bassist who was quite quickly becoming inebriated. He felt he would rather take his time and sample the delights that were on offer. He picked out a bottle of red wine and a nice wine glass and seated himself in the swivel chair that was situated near the television screens. As he popped the cork he pondered over their purpose. His gaze drifted downwards and he noticed a keyboard and several buttons on the side panel that seemed to be connected to the television systems. The large candy red button caught his attention most of all. He looked over his shoulder to make sure Murdoc was still preoccupied and with a moment of hesitation pushed it.

The wall of screens flickered to life, at first each one only showed static but slowly black and white images began to appear. This was enough to make Murdoc pause and watch in interest.

"What have you done this time dullard?"

"I…I didn't do nothin' Muds, honest! I woz jus' curious." Stammered 2D

Taking a break from his drinking Murdoc lurched over towards the monitors and leaned so close that his nose almost touched the screen. He then began to laugh, softly at first but soon it began to grow to such intensity that 2D had to back away slightly.

"Eh Muds? Is everyfing awright?"

Murdoc pulled his attention away from the screen to look at 2D with malicious eyes.

"I think we've hit the jackpot ere' mate. What do y'think we're lookin' at?"

"Well.." 2D began looking closely at the black and white images. "It looks like…like…" His eyes went wide with realization. "Like we're lookin' at the all the rooms in Kong studios!"

"Brilliant deduction Sherlock, your one brain cell must be in overdrive. We can look at every single room in this place and see what's goin' on. I'll finally find out who's been stealin' my bloody change."

"But isn't that an invasion of privacy or sumfin?" 2D said scratching his head.

Murdoc looked at him like he had just said an obscene word.

"Meatbrain, don't talk anymore if y'know what's good f'you."

Obviously 2D didn't know what was good for him because he spoke up almost instantly after when he saw an image on the screen that he took particular interest in.

"Hey, lookit. It's Russ's room! He's in there right now. Wot in blazes is e' doin?"

Murdoc scooted over to have a look.

"Christ almighty! Is he wearing a dress?"

"Doesn't really suit him does it." 2D mused. " Spots aren't very slimming."

They both began to snicker uncontrollably. Murdoc wiped some tears of hysteria away from his eyes and began to fumble around the table.

"Wotcha lookin' for Muds?"

"These places usually have a microphone, I wanna see If I can say somethin' to the fat git. Aha! There's the little bugger."

He tapped on it a few times, fiddled with some of the controls until they heard a high pitched ring that indicated that it was on. The bassist then cleared his throat and leaned towards the microphone.

"Ah hem, Russel. Russel Hobbs…" He said in a deep voice.

They saw Russel jump nearly ten feet in the air. He was looking around his room in confusion. From this angle they could now see that he was also wearing a pair of high heel shoes.

"Who is that?" Came Russel's tinny voice through the speakers.

"This… is God."

2D had to clamp his hands over his mouth to muffle his laughter.

They watched as Russels expression changed from confusion to anger. He was looking around his room trying to find the source of the voice.

"Murdoc, you sunnavabitch, is that you?"

"Nah nah, m'pretty sure I'm God. I just sound a lot like Murdoc. Kinda makes you think…"

2D couldn't contain himself anymore and burst out in howls of laughter.

"Who is that? Murdoc what da hell?"

"Oh, that's just Jesus. And speaking abou' hell, we're pretty sure that's where you are goin' if you keep up the cross dressing. Just thought I'd be a decent bloke and give you a bit of warnin' savvy?"

Because of the poor quality of the picture and Russel's dark complexion, 2D wasn't entirely sure if Russel was embarrassed. But he certainly looked angry enough. The singer nudged Murdoc with his shoulder and whispered in his ear.

"Oh, yeah, and Jesus says lay off the chocolates. That dress does nothing for your figure. Nice shoes though."

It seemed as though Russel had finally located the camera in his room because with one large fist later the image on the screen turned to static.

"Christ, if I didn't know any better I'd think old Russ here was a bigger fag than you."

"Aww, that's not nice Muds. And that's a bit rich comin' from a guy who wears women's panties."

"They're called manties! They're specifically designed for men y'bleedin moron. It's absolutely different!"

"Awright awright. Sorry Muds, don't get your knickers in a twist." 2D giggled.

"Now then." Said Murdoc hastily changing the subject. "Let's see what Noodle is up to. She'll probably be borin' since she dresses like a girl everyday."

They scanned the screens looking for Noodle's room but couldn't seem to find it.

"That bitch!" Murdoc shouted slamming his fist on the table. "She knew there were cameras the whole bloody time. She could have bothered to tell us. For all we know they could have been planted by psychotic fans and broadcasted on the internet."

"Nah." Disagreed 2D. "I bet she thought we put em there, for a joke or sumfin."

"I'm not a pervert like you dullard."

"Hey!" 2D said feeling quite insulted. "You're a dirty old man."

Murdoc was just about to land a punch on the blue haired pianist when 2D ducked at the last moment. His eye caught movement happening in his own room and he bent down to take a closer look.

"Bloody hell. That awful thing is in m'room again! It gives me the jibblies it does."

"Aww, that's not nice a nice thing t'say about Russel."

"No, I mean that Zombie is in me room again."

"Vivian?"

Murdoc shoved 2D out of the way and took hold of the microphone. He changed the settings so that his voice would be heard in 2D's room.

"Vivian! Vivian sweetheart! It's me! Murdoc! Don't panic, everything's alright doll!"

It seemed to 2D that Vivian wouldn't even notice if the studio was being bombed. She just stood in the centre of his room motionless. Murdoc's desperate words were unnoticed.

"Uh, Muds. I dun think she can hear you."

"Of course she can hear me you dimwit. Take another look."

2D looked again, he waited for two minutes until Vivian gave the very slightest of blinks.

"See! Oh darling, I'm afraid I won't be back for a while. Stay strong!"

The singer felt sick. A familiar feeling of jealousy was filling his chest again. He gave Murdoc the dirtiest look he could muster but the bassist was oblivious. He stood face against the monitor, tenderly touching the picture of the festering zombie. Since 2D didn't really know how to properly manage his feelings he did the next best thing. He grabbed the bottle of wine and began to drink.

Two bottles of wine and five shots later 2D was holding onto the floor. Murdoc had gotten himself into a similar situation but had preferred to slump himself against the wall badly singing renditions of old Madonna songs.

Since the alcohol in his system had pretty much removed any inhibitions 2D decided to broach the subject that had been plaguing him ever since the introduction of Vivian. He lifted his head and watched the walls spin around him as though he were on a carousel.

"Heeeeeeey. Muurdoc. Why you wif that Zombie anyways? I mean, she can't be half as good a shag as a livin' person can she? 'hic'."

Murdoc lifted his head off his chest. His eyes were glassy with intoxication. But he was still conscious enough to raise an eyebrow at the plastered singer.

"Hmm. You'd be supp suurr su… surprised."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Like how?"

"Well…" Murdoc closed his eyes and smiled. "She makes the most increeeedible moanin' soundssss."

"Urrg" 2D rolled onto his stomach and covered his ears with his hands. "I can't heaaar you. La la la laaaa."

"Christ! You asked. Urgh. S'better than a bloomin' polar bear." Said Murdoc heavily slurring his words.

2D got onto his hand and knees and started crawling towards Murdoc. He raised himself until his was resting on his shins and they were looking at each other eye to eye.

"I've got a seecret."

"Hmm?"

"I only got wif that bear soo so I uhh… t'make you jealousss." He then began to laugh as though it were his own personal joke.

"Hmm, figures…" Murdoc was unperturbed by this revelation. "Hey, dullard. I've got a secret too."

2D looked up expectantly. "Yeah Muds?"

Murdoc leaned over to the singer until his lips were next to his ear. 2D shivered.

"I sold ya shoes on eBay." He then began to laugh hysterically.

2D pulled away looking horrified. "You mean my white ones? You… you bastard! I really liked those."

"Heh heh. Yeah. I also sold y'ruddy little pot too. Got a pruh, pretty good price onnit too."

"My granny gave me that pot…" 2D said despondently.

"You'll get over it mate."

2D sat back trying to digest this information.

"Also, uh, I don't know how much more drinkin' you should be doin'."

"Why?" 2D sniffed.

"Let's just say that livers can fetch a pretty good price…"

2D looked at Murdoc dumbfounded. The bassist tilted his head as he gazed at the black eyed singer.

"Hey, I might have sumthin' that would cheer y'up."

2D looked up just in time to be caught in a fiery embrace with the Satanist. Their lips met and tongues coiled. Even in his intoxicated state 2D couldn't help but feel elated. He moved forward to press his body against the other man and shuddered slightly as he felt a long tongue brush against the gums of his missing teeth. It was as though a dam inside his soul had broken and a torrent of emotion and realization was spreading through his body. This lasted for several minutes until they both surfaced for air.

Murdoc looked at 2D with half lidded eyes before slumping unconscious to the ground. 2D leaned over him and gave the bassist a little shake in disappointment.

"Hey Muds… Murdoc? Y'awake?"

Murdoc was out like a light. 2D sighed and lay down beside the still body.

"Night Muds."

2D was quick to follow into a dreamless sleep.

Did you know that manties are real items of clothing?Just do a goodle search for them for a Christmas present for your father, brother or boyfriend. XD