DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything to do with Beyblade.
Thank-you to all of my reviewers: Vialana, I luv Kai, Rumi-chan, Feelin Glayish, kiina, Darkspider, Mizu-Tenshi, Team Tykai, D.G., hobgoblin, CrazyJen, Porticulis, Timberwolf220
Thanks for all of your bountifully helpful ideas - not so much LOL; I will definitely try to incorporate any ideas given to me. So thanks so much to CrazyJen who inspired me to write this chapter which hopefully integrates her suggestion with my - um - writing style. ~^_^~
I hope that you like.
~*~
REVELATIONS
I shivered, a strange feeling passed over me. It was so weird, I couldn't find any words to describe it, I felt like someone was watching me, I felt the hairs on the back of my neck start to rise and I looked at my arms, they were covered in goose-bumps. I longed to turn around and see who was watching me, but I was scared, I was afraid of what I might find, or alternatively, if I turned and discovered it was my imagination, I realised that then I would feel an incredible sense of disappointment. And that was a horrifying thought that after all of my chanting, after all of my vows, said in the past seven and a half minutes about how I would not go on loving that insufferable jerk, none of it had worked. I wanted more than anything to turn around and see him standing right behind me. I could see myself in my mind's eye whirling around and seeing him there, his hand outstretched as if to grasp my shoulder. He would blush and I would jump into his arms and he would embrace me, he would wind his lithe arms around my waist and lift me up, spinning me around and around. I would rain my kisses along his jaw. He would laugh; a sweet sound and then he would set me down and I would gaze up into his scarlet eyes and see that in the deep pools, my desire, my hunger, my love was mirrored by his own. He would raise a hand and gently brush his thumb across my lower lip. He would smile at me, a silent prayer would cross my lips and then he would kiss me and my world would simply just become right.
I didn't know how long I had been in my daydream, but when I finally woke from it, the sensation was gone. I scoffed at myself when I remembered details of my fantasy. I was so naïve in some aspects, I know it, I can accept it, but I was ever so slightly ashamed at my thoughts about Kai. He was a boy, I was a boy, and I had heard others talk about this situation, as if it was something so utterly disgusting. I have heard the filthy words they call others that are different to themselves. I knew that I was atypical, I had known for a while now. But I also knew I was not anything like the derogatory words used to describe what I am. In a way I am not different, sure I have alternate sexual preferences, but I am human; I think, I feel, I bleed and I can cry. I am exactly the same as anyone else in every way that it truly counts. Flesh, blood and bone - I knew it, why must others be so consumed with superficial differences. It was just plain stupid.
But still I recognized how hypocritical my thoughts are as I had not told my friends. All of my beliefs went out the window when it came to my friends, I valued their opinions, and I did not want to disappoint them. And I was truly afraid of what they might think of me. I guess that they could probably guess that I like guys - in that way - I mean they aren't stupid and I'm not always subtle with the whole drooling over Kai thing. But that didn't change the fact that I haven't admitted to it, I have not confirmed it. And I realised that my case was hopeless, if I can not even tell my friends that I'm in love with a man, how on Earth was I supposed to tell the man himself.
I was freaking out and I had no one to talk to. No one could possibly understand.
~
Without my knowing it, my feet carried me closer to him; I approached his right side from slightly behind him. I paused once it became clear to me what I was going to do. I noticed him shiver, 'could he sense me?' I wondered. I hesitated then, suddenly unsure of what I should do next. I was all set to go up to him, to sit in the empty swing beside him and tell him that I was sorry. I wanted to apologize for hurting him, for ever raising my hand against him. I wanted to tell him, make him understand, but then I realised how utterly foolish that would be - I did not even understand why I shoved him. All I knew was he was warm and I had liked it and that that had totally freaked me out.
I stretched out my hand, but I couldn't do it. I wanted to grasp his shoulder, make him fully away of my presence, but I couldn't. I am not worthy to touch him. I snatched my hand back and slowly backed away. My heart was racing and my breath came in shallow gasps, I was surprised that he couldn't hear them. I had to get away. I shook my head in hopes of clearing it from the clutter that had gathered there all pertaining to one boy, really more of a man now. He was no longer the immature brat I met all those years ago, I realised that know, I accepted it now. I would strive to protect him from now on. No one shall ever bother him, it is the least I can do considering I can not even humble myself to mumble an apology. I will stick to the shadows, they are what I am made for.
I turn and run then, my cheeks red, not from exertion but because of him, because of Tyson, he makes me feel so...there is no word to describe it. All I know is that I am a coward, I'm running away.
I am afraid.
~*~
A/N: it's over a thousand words I swear. ^_^ Slightly more words than the last chapter. LOL
Um... if you spot any grammatical or spelling mistakes could you please tell me so I can fix them - because I know that both of them are kinda sucky, according to my old high-school English teacher anyways, and plus I really so want to get better - so any mistakes please tell me. I know that my grammar is particularly bad; I am always putting commas and the like in the wrong places. ^_^
If there are too many mistakes just email me, my address is in my profile.
Thanks so much peoples, I have almost 100 reviews for my *tiny* story. I am so awed by authors that can write such long fics. If you want to read some great fics, visit my favourite stories or authors.
Thank-you to all of my reviewers: Vialana, I luv Kai, Rumi-chan, Feelin Glayish, kiina, Darkspider, Mizu-Tenshi, Team Tykai, D.G., hobgoblin, CrazyJen, Porticulis, Timberwolf220
Thanks for all of your bountifully helpful ideas - not so much LOL; I will definitely try to incorporate any ideas given to me. So thanks so much to CrazyJen who inspired me to write this chapter which hopefully integrates her suggestion with my - um - writing style. ~^_^~
I hope that you like.
~*~
REVELATIONS
I shivered, a strange feeling passed over me. It was so weird, I couldn't find any words to describe it, I felt like someone was watching me, I felt the hairs on the back of my neck start to rise and I looked at my arms, they were covered in goose-bumps. I longed to turn around and see who was watching me, but I was scared, I was afraid of what I might find, or alternatively, if I turned and discovered it was my imagination, I realised that then I would feel an incredible sense of disappointment. And that was a horrifying thought that after all of my chanting, after all of my vows, said in the past seven and a half minutes about how I would not go on loving that insufferable jerk, none of it had worked. I wanted more than anything to turn around and see him standing right behind me. I could see myself in my mind's eye whirling around and seeing him there, his hand outstretched as if to grasp my shoulder. He would blush and I would jump into his arms and he would embrace me, he would wind his lithe arms around my waist and lift me up, spinning me around and around. I would rain my kisses along his jaw. He would laugh; a sweet sound and then he would set me down and I would gaze up into his scarlet eyes and see that in the deep pools, my desire, my hunger, my love was mirrored by his own. He would raise a hand and gently brush his thumb across my lower lip. He would smile at me, a silent prayer would cross my lips and then he would kiss me and my world would simply just become right.
I didn't know how long I had been in my daydream, but when I finally woke from it, the sensation was gone. I scoffed at myself when I remembered details of my fantasy. I was so naïve in some aspects, I know it, I can accept it, but I was ever so slightly ashamed at my thoughts about Kai. He was a boy, I was a boy, and I had heard others talk about this situation, as if it was something so utterly disgusting. I have heard the filthy words they call others that are different to themselves. I knew that I was atypical, I had known for a while now. But I also knew I was not anything like the derogatory words used to describe what I am. In a way I am not different, sure I have alternate sexual preferences, but I am human; I think, I feel, I bleed and I can cry. I am exactly the same as anyone else in every way that it truly counts. Flesh, blood and bone - I knew it, why must others be so consumed with superficial differences. It was just plain stupid.
But still I recognized how hypocritical my thoughts are as I had not told my friends. All of my beliefs went out the window when it came to my friends, I valued their opinions, and I did not want to disappoint them. And I was truly afraid of what they might think of me. I guess that they could probably guess that I like guys - in that way - I mean they aren't stupid and I'm not always subtle with the whole drooling over Kai thing. But that didn't change the fact that I haven't admitted to it, I have not confirmed it. And I realised that my case was hopeless, if I can not even tell my friends that I'm in love with a man, how on Earth was I supposed to tell the man himself.
I was freaking out and I had no one to talk to. No one could possibly understand.
~
Without my knowing it, my feet carried me closer to him; I approached his right side from slightly behind him. I paused once it became clear to me what I was going to do. I noticed him shiver, 'could he sense me?' I wondered. I hesitated then, suddenly unsure of what I should do next. I was all set to go up to him, to sit in the empty swing beside him and tell him that I was sorry. I wanted to apologize for hurting him, for ever raising my hand against him. I wanted to tell him, make him understand, but then I realised how utterly foolish that would be - I did not even understand why I shoved him. All I knew was he was warm and I had liked it and that that had totally freaked me out.
I stretched out my hand, but I couldn't do it. I wanted to grasp his shoulder, make him fully away of my presence, but I couldn't. I am not worthy to touch him. I snatched my hand back and slowly backed away. My heart was racing and my breath came in shallow gasps, I was surprised that he couldn't hear them. I had to get away. I shook my head in hopes of clearing it from the clutter that had gathered there all pertaining to one boy, really more of a man now. He was no longer the immature brat I met all those years ago, I realised that know, I accepted it now. I would strive to protect him from now on. No one shall ever bother him, it is the least I can do considering I can not even humble myself to mumble an apology. I will stick to the shadows, they are what I am made for.
I turn and run then, my cheeks red, not from exertion but because of him, because of Tyson, he makes me feel so...there is no word to describe it. All I know is that I am a coward, I'm running away.
I am afraid.
~*~
A/N: it's over a thousand words I swear. ^_^ Slightly more words than the last chapter. LOL
Um... if you spot any grammatical or spelling mistakes could you please tell me so I can fix them - because I know that both of them are kinda sucky, according to my old high-school English teacher anyways, and plus I really so want to get better - so any mistakes please tell me. I know that my grammar is particularly bad; I am always putting commas and the like in the wrong places. ^_^
If there are too many mistakes just email me, my address is in my profile.
Thanks so much peoples, I have almost 100 reviews for my *tiny* story. I am so awed by authors that can write such long fics. If you want to read some great fics, visit my favourite stories or authors.