Title: Eclipse (Part 2 of 3)
Author: Lizzy
Pairing/Character: Veronica, Veronica/Logan, Veronica/Duncan
Word Count: 3496
Rating: PG13
Spoilers/Warnings: Post-finale. Spoils the murderer. AU from the premiere.
Summary: Things in parentheses should (not) be ignored. Or, the (crazy) things people do for love.
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the wonderful Rob Thomas,
without whom there would (sadly) be no Veronica Mars.
Transitional lyrics from "Furious Angels" by Rob Dougan.
Part Two – Comfort
/
then what's there that waits for me \\
"So my mom said that she'll be bringing by dinner for you tonight."
"Yeah, she mentioned that," Veronica confirms with a smile as she closes her locker and twists the lock. "Are you and Darrell coming over then too?"
"I don't think she's even gonna be staying," Wallace admits with a shrug. "Something about wanting to let you and your dad have some quality time together."
Veronica grins in response. "I have missed having my dad around – but I'm sure she's missed him too."
"Not that I haven't enjoyed being able to come home at night and not having to worry about walking in on something I don't want to see," Wallace begins, complete with a mock-shudder that elicits a laugh from his best friend, "but I'm glad that your dad is coming home."
Veronica is looking forward to it as well. Over the past year, she's grown accustomed to being alone in their apartment for days at a time when her father was tracking down bail jumpers or philandering spouses. Still, in the past, he'd been gone for a day or two here, a weekend or so there. He'd never left her alone for weeks at a time. But now, finally, his doctors have cleared his release, saying that his injuries are healing nicely and that his risk for infection has been minimized.
An eruption of laughter from across the hall causes Wallace to roll his eyes. "I don't know what they've got to laugh about," he gripes. "I've got too many finals to stress about – and that's no joking matter."
"Ah, how quickly you forget. If they fail their exams, Daddy Dearest will just buy Neptune High a new computer lab, or scoreboard, or a new faculty member. And then everything's all better!" she enthuses sarcastically with a cheery Pep Squad smile.
"Except that Joe Blow won't know how to add when he goes to work for Daddy after graduation," Wallace counters, smothering a laugh.
"Yeah, except that," Veronica agrees, choking out a laugh.
"You okay?" he asks after a moment, noticing as any good friend should that something was a little off.
"I'll be okay," she reassures him. "I'm just worried about the reading for Brit Lit today."
"Okay. See ya." And with that he disappears in the pack of students rushing by.
In reality, Wallace had been right – Veronica is anything but okay. And a part of her wishes that he had pressed further, really tried to figure out what was bothering her. But, at the same time, she's not sure that she's ready to share that in a moment of weakness she slept with Logan Echolls, which he followed by reverting to his psychotic jackass persona.
With every laugh that erupts from the 09'ers, she wonders if they're laughing about her, if Logan has finally informed his cronies about his proof of her "sluttiness."
He hasn't said anything yet – she's sure of that much. Dick doesn't have the self-restraint to keep from aiming some sort of asinine insult her way, if that were the case.
She hates the fact that she's afraid of Logan, and she hates the power that he has over her because of that fear. She was shunned before, and that almost broke her. But now, if she's relegated to her old position as the town skank, she has so much more to lose.
Yes, she lost her friends before, but after her exile, she realized that they were largely superficial friendships. And those friendships that went deeper, that meant more were ones that she would have lost anyhow – Duncan (to his drugs), Logan (to his drink), and Lilly (to her death).
But now, now she'd lose the respect of Weevil and Mac and Meg, and with their respect, she would risk losing their friendships as well. She couldn't deny that she slept with Logan because, after all, she had. And because of that one night of vulnerability, she could lose the relationships that she'd worked so hard to build (or rebuild) over the past year.
With a shake of her head, she urges herself to pull it together. Logan hasn't said anything yet for reasons unknown and maybe (doubtful, but maybe) he never will.
She pushes through the crowd, heading to class, but she comes to an abrupt stop when an arm jars her own.
"Sorry," she mutters, stepping to the side and preparing to surge forward once again.
"No, it was my fault. Sorry, Veronica,"
At the sound of that voice – the voice that she knows all too well, the voice she sometimes hears in her dreams (and nightmares), her eyes instinctively fly up to meet his own. His lips are pressed into a thin smile. She can't stop herself from wondering if he's apologizing for more than just their minor hallway collision.
She accepts his apology with a nod and a weak (forced) smile of her own.
Could that be why Logan hasn't told the gossips about their night of (hot, sizzling) sex? Because he regrets what happened (the sex, the morning after) between them? Because he feels sorry for … something (everything)?
Whatever. Veronica knows that it's not worth dwelling on. Logan will do what he wants and say what he wants when he wants – he always has, and he always will.
/
love, like a knife in the back, has cut me down and i'm bleeding \\
"Hey, Veronica!"
She's walking towards her (dad's) car after classes when she hears Duncan's voice behind her. Seeing as how she can count on one hand the number of words that he's said to her over the past three weeks, she's understandably surprised to hear him calling out to her. In a moment of fear (and weakness), she wonders if Logan has finally told his best friend that they've both had the opportunity to sample her carnal goods.
He's at her side after only a few long strides, and he looks genuinely happy to see her. And that's just beyond weird on so many levels.
"I heard that your dad's getting released today," he begins by way of greeting.
"Yeah, I'm actually on my way to the hospital now. We've got a meeting with his doctors, and if everything goes well, we'll be home in time for dinner."
"That's great. I was worried when I saw him being loaded into the ambulance that night," he shares. "I just – I'm glad to hear that he's doing well."
"I was worried at first," she admits. "He had a staph infection a few weeks ago, but he's doing much better now." She pauses as she considers the fact that this is the first meaningful conversation that they've shared in a long time. It feels good to talk – really talk - to Duncan again. Comforting, almost. "Anyhow, I'd better go."
"Yeah, you wouldn't want to be late," he adds with a small smile.
She nods her head in agreement and turns to go. However, she doesn't get more than three steps before he speaks again.
"Veronica, if you're not busy with family stuff on Friday night, would you be interested in getting dinner?"
"Like a date?" she asks teasingly, working to mask her complete and total surprise at his proposition. She's also stalling for time as she debates internally whether or not she really wants to date Duncan again.
"Yeah, like a date," he confirms. "What do you say?"
She sees the mix of nervousness and sincerity in his eyes, and she doesn't know what to say. Duncan doesn't send her hormones into overdrive, and he can't make her heartbeat accelerate with no more than a suggestive glance. But she knows that he would never do anything to intentionally hurt her.
She was happy with Duncan once. She may not be the girl she once was, but perhaps she can find happiness with Duncan, again, as the woman she's become.
"I'd like that," she accepts with a nod. The dazzling smile on Duncan's face make it easier for her to ignore the little voice in her head that's asking her how she can agree to date Duncan when she still has feelings for Logan.
/
you're in my blood and there's no curing me \\
"You're sure that you don't mind if Alicia and I have dinner alone tonight? We can always include Wallace and Darrell, and have dinner at her place."
"Dad, it's okay. Really. You two should have some time alone together. Besides, I have a date myself," she shares with a small smile. She hadn't told him yet since if he'd wanted to do something on Friday, she would have postponed her date with Duncan. Her father is her first priority, but it appears as if they both have romantic plans for the coming evening.
"I'm happy to hear that you and Logan were able to work things out," he replies, and Veronica winces slightly at his name. Of course her father would think that she's dating Logan again.
"I'd like to meet with him before the two of you head off to dinner, so I can apologize for some of the things I said a few weeks ago. Everything seemed to point to him, and I was so worried about you."
"Um, actually, Dad, Logan and I aren't back together. I'm going out with Duncan. Since we're not related now, we're going to try to start over."
He's taken aback by her words – that much is clear. She's sure he's thinking about Duncan's earlier disappearance, about her mother and Jake Kane, about Celeste's likely reaction when she hears that she's dating Duncan again. (And Veronica has to admit that idea does have some appeal.)
"Oh, that's good. I always liked Duncan." He flashes her a smile that she knows isn't completely sincere. She knows this because it's the same smile she sees in the mirror each morning.
Are you sure this is what you want? his eyes ask silently.
Yes, she's sure. She wants to feel loved again, treasured once more. She may still want Logan (as much as she hates him for that), but Duncan is the only one who can give her that now.
"Yes, I'm sure," she says aloud, trying to convince herself as much as her father. With Duncan she may not be as happy as she could have been with Logan, but she thinks she'll be happy enough.
/ like a sentence
to death, i've got no options left \\
As Veronica watches the houses and shops pass by through the window, she realizes that her date with Duncan has gone well so far – certainly better than she had expected. Then again, she's heading home now, and with their separation will come the unavoidable decision – to kiss, or not to kiss.
She'd expected a night of awkward small talk when she agreed to go out with Duncan, but they'd had plenty to talk about over dinner – their SAT tests, college applications (Ivy for him, state schools for her), upcoming finals, and their plans for the Navigator (as they'd be coeditors the following year).
There had been an awkward moment (of course) when Duncan had recounted an entertaining turn of events from earlier that day. She'd been laughing along, completely enthralled. And then he said a name (Logan's), and she winced (unconsciously), and he saw (obviously), and his story trailed off uncomfortably.
But the rest of the meal had gone well enough, as they both did everything they could to tiptoe around the two (gigantic) elephants seated at the table beside them.
Veronica felt strange to realize that she was on a date with Duncan, and she couldn't refer to his best friend or sister on a regular basis. So many of their dates (once upon a time) had involved the four of them, together. And even when it had been just them, little time passed between mentions of their respective best friends.
She wishes that she could talk to Duncan about Lilly. After all, he's the only one (other than Logan, and she can hardly talk to him anymore) who would really understand.
But she also knows that Duncan deals with adversity via avoidance. After all, their breakup-without-notice is a prime example.
The SUV pulls to a stop, and Veronica is surprised to notice that they aren't outside her apartment (as she had anticipated). Her eyes fly to meet Duncan's own, wondering where he's taken her.
"I thought it might be nice to take a moonlit walk along the beach," he admits. "Unless, I mean, do you need to get home early or something?"
His assumption that she would happily go along with whatever he wanted to do without question reminds her of how much she's changed. Veronica-as-Duncan's-girlfriend trusted him (and everyone) implicitly and would do whatever he wanted to do. Veronica-the-pariah trusts no one and feels a constant need to be in control.
She understands that if she wants to be with Duncan again (and just that thought strikes up the internal debate once more), she'll have to trust him again, and give up some of her now-much-treasured control.
"No, that sounds like fun," she agrees after a moment. "I was just surprised, I guess." She flashes a (fake) bright smile (because she doesn't know what she really wants anymore), and hops out of the vehicle towards the welcoming surf.
/ cause love,
like a sentence of death has left me stunned, and i'm reeling \\
She's dancing and twirling and floating, as her feet move easily amongst the waves lapping at the shoreline. The water is wetting her feet and the cool, moist sand between her toes is a soothing sensation. She loves the smell of the salty sea air, as she breathes in a deep, relaxing breath. With a final hop and spin, she turns to face Duncan, a (sincere) dazzling smile on her face.
He's looking at her with a mix of wonderment and surprise, and she remembers that she was never this animated before.
"One of the things I've learned to appreciate over the past year," she begins, "are the simple things in life. I love the water, feeling it splash against my ankles. I spent a lot of time here, over the past few months, walking Backup. It was a good way for me to unwind and decompress."
Duncan offers her a small smile, as he reaches out his hand for her own. "Well, then it looks like a moonlit walk was the right thing to do tonight."
They walk hand-in-hand along the shoreline, both of them carrying their shoes in their free hand. They walk in silence, not out of lack of things to say, but rather because they (or at least Veronica) are thinking of the happier times their group once shared on this same beach, years earlier.
Then one of Veronica's feet kicks up a splash of water that somehow splatters all over Duncan's leg. He turns to her in shock, the moment lost, and a teasing grin spreading across his features.
"Did you just splash me?"
"So what if I did?" Veronica asks in response, a mischievous grin lighting up her face.
"You do know what they say, don't you?" he asks, with absolute seriousness.
"No, what do they say?" Veronica parrots in response.
"'All's fair in love and war.'" She quirks an eyebrow at the statement, wondering what that has to do with anything. But just then, he kicks up a torrent of water, which catches her in the waist and causes her tank top to cling to her stomach.
"Oh, this is definitely war!" she cries out in response to his attack, as she reaches down into the sea to cup some water in her hands. She tosses it towards him, but he dodges it and drops a handful of water onto her head.
And from there, with her hair plastered to her scalp, it turns into a no-holds-barred-win-at-all-costs battle for Veronica. This is something that she's never done with Duncan before (and some of her tactics do seem to be catching him off-guard for that very reason), but it is definitely something that she's enjoying.
When she reaches deep into the surf, preparing to raise up a big splash of water, Duncan dodges instinctively. It's then that she launches herself at him (rather than the water he was expecting). Despite her (very) diminutive form, she catches him off balance, and they both tumble beneath the waves.
And then he's finding his footing again, placing his arms on her waist, and only moments after their heads break the surface, he's kissing her deeply. His lips are warm and salty, and the kiss is pleasant (but nothing more). She's satisfied with the kiss (it's about what she expected, after all) but also misses the fireworks that were ever-present between her and Logan.
Then she feels Duncan's fingertips, inching beneath her tank top, splaying against her skin and moving slowly up her back, and she pulls back.
From his muttered apology and the accompanying look in his eyes, she knows that he's thinking back to the Veronica he once knew who was so demure and innocent.
That Veronica was too much of a innocent little girl to even consider sex. She, however, has had sex twice (only one time that she remembers), and neither time ended well.
With the first, she woke up alone the morning after and thought she'd been raped. Of course, the real situation was that she slept with her ex-boyfriend-who-thought-they-might-be-siblings (and therefore sex incest and other not cool stuff), but still, the night at Shelly's party was not on her list of most memorable moments.
And then the second time, with Logan, it had been great (until the morning after). He was sweet and loving, but he didn't try to make it into something it wasn't. It was their first time together, and it was good for both of them. But, at the same time, it was hard and insistent and hot and just – it felt very honest, like he wasn't holding anything back.
That's exactly what made what he said (and did) the next morning so absolutely unbelievable.
She didn't want to believe that everything he'd said and done over the past few weeks had been to get into her pants. Hell, she still doesn't completely believe it. But, at the same time, she is afraid that maybe he did speak the truth. He already broke her heart once, and she'll be damned if she gives him another opportunity.
Duncan is leading her back to the SUV, as she stands shivering in her wet skirt and tank top. He pulls a towel out of the cargo area and hands it to Veronica, before reaching for a duffel bag and pulling out his soccer uniform.
"Here," he offers, holding the green and white uniform in his outstretched hand. "I'm sure it'll be big on you, but at least it's dry."
She takes the offered clothing, and while he closes his eyes and holds up the towel as a shield (and they both pretend that he hasn't already seen her naked), she changes into the shorts that reach her knees and a shirt that's practically a dress.
"Thanks," she says quietly. "But don't you need this for your game tomorrow?"
"Don't worry about it. I have another uniform at home that I can use."
He opens the passenger door for her (as any gentleman should), and she climbs inside. This is the sweet, kind Duncan that she remembers, that she missed having in her life after they broke up.
As they're driving towards her apartment, Duncan asks, "Veronica, will you go to Prom with me?"
Prom is only a week away, and Veronica had hardly even thought about going. Wallace had insisted that she should go (he even has a date – Nadine, who is apparently 'his biggest fan ever'), but she had been hesitant. For one, she didn't want to go and see Logan all over some random 09'er chick. (She may not be pursuing him, but that didn't mean that she'd resolved her feelings for him.) But, also, she didn't know what would be going on with her dad, and if she'd need to skip out to do family stuff.
But now, with Duncan looking at her, hope shining brightly in his eyes, she finds herself saying yes. What she has with Duncan may not be what she imagined for herself, when she was with Logan. But Duncan cares for her and wants to make her happy – and he does make her happy.
He may not make her heart go pitter-pat like Logan did, but he's good to her and treats her well.
Duncan may not be Mr. Right. But, for now at least, he's Mr. Good Enough.
/ i can't get up
from this wet crimson bed that you made for me \\