Authors Note: I think this one is longer. Thanks to all my other reviewers, not sure how much longer this story is going to be, 10 chapters AT the most for those of you who were wondering. I do really like this chapter, I was in a very sarcastic mood when I wrote it, just in case you notice...

Chapter 25

The Accursed Whisper

Hawkeye was sitting with Margaret in the Officers Club; he was very tense as they sat in silence.

"Surgery, tough?" it was a simple question, but to Margaret it just made her heart fall. Normal Hawkeye wouldn't have to ask, he would have been there and know how tough it was.

"Yeah," she said finally.

Silence fell again.

………

He could tell by the silence that she was angry, well, he could really, but he could only assume. What Freedman told him sent his mind into turmoil; he didn't know what to believe. His realistic mind told him to follow Sidney's logic, but the untrusting half of his brain told him not to trust them, not to get to close. At this point in time the untrusting side was winning.

The only reason he had agreed to come to the Officers Club was because he couldn't stand staying in that room all the time, not being able to dress and clean by himself, not being able to eat with out some one hovering over him, hell, he couldn't even piss at the latrine with out some one waiting at the door. It wasn't as if he was a five year old and wanting to all grown up like the big kids who got to play doctor in the army, he wanted to be the doctors in the army, but to do that….he would have to face Demons he wasn't ready for and run away from those memories…it was a hopeless battle.

………

Margaret saw the conflicted emotions of anger, fear, and confusion play across his face. She could only imagine what hundred thoughts were running through his head. She was really hoping that taking him out of that tiny room would open him up a little more, give him a chance to think, clear his mind, but it didn't seem to be working. If anything, it looked to be making things much worse, "Hawkeye, you okay?"

………

There was that damn whisper again. He couldn't use the excuse of them talking 'like he was a bomb waiting to explode' (quote himself) because he probably was a bomb ready to explode.

"Fine," he didn't mean to sound so sharp, but that whisper was just so damn condescending, it drove him insane. If anything that tone was just fueling the bomb and that question…oh, that question, 'you okay?' that was just lighting the fuse.

"Talk to Sidney, lately?"

"Yes, he wants to talk again tonight, in a couple of minutes actually,"

"You should probably get ready,"

"Why? Want to get rid of me already?"

………

That was the worst possible thing he could have asked her at this moment. She didn't have an answer and if there was on thing she hated it was not having an answer. She really wanted to help him, talk to him, tell him more stories, reveal some memories, but she just couldn't take his behavior sometimes. She wasn't sure how long she could handle his curt biting remarks, his accusing yet apathetic tone.

"No," she did manage to choke out before he got any ideas.

………

But he already had the ideas. She didn't want him there. He could tell by that slight fraction of hesitation. The simple darting of the eyes told him everything. He wasn't wanted.

………

He was now back in the hell whole, they called his hospital room, he called it his prison.

"So how are you, Hawkeye?" There was that damn question again.

"I hate that question," and that was an easy way to avoid answering it.

"Why?"

"Because it's so damn annoying, and they ask it with out really caring about the answer,"

"Who's 'they'?"

"Everyone,"

"Everyone?"

"Yes," damn fool….was he deaf?

"Uh-hmm, what if I told you I cared about the answer?"

"Then you'd be lying,"

"Who do you say that?"

Hawkeye rolled his eyes, "because when I said every one, I meant everyone, you're not special. You weren't excluded,"

"Are you angry at…some one?" it was a simple question, but it affected Hawkeye much and just caused his agitation to grow,"

"Yes,"

"Who?"

"People like you,"

"Like me?"

"Yes, people like you?" must I keep repeating myself...?

"What are people like me doing to make you angry, Hawkeye?"

"That,"

"What's 'that'?"

Hawkeye crossed his legs and began to hit the bed with one of his knees impatiently, "talking to me like I'm a five years old,"

"Maybe we're talking to you like your five years old because you are acting like you are five years old,"

Hawkeye balked at him, "I am not," his tone carried a hint of immaturity and a whine like….like a five year old.

Sidney smiled at him, "you didn't like the fact that you couldn't help in OR, did you?"

"OR?"

"Surgery,"

He hesitated, "no," this was probably a trick to say something else, but he wasn't going to. He was going to tightly keep his mouth closed except for one-response answers. He was already made to look like a fool. It wasn't going to happen again.

"Why?"

He shrugged. He wasn't really sure himself. He just didn't like feeling so…useless, so helpless.

………

Sidney could almost see the wheels in his head turning. After the comments about being a five year old, he had promptly kept his mouth shut, except for a one word answer, if he was assuming correctly, the questions about OR had struck a cord.

………

"How was it, doc?" BJ was the first one to say something after Sidney entered the Mess Tent, "did you get any further?"

Sidney sat and took the offered cup of coffee from Radar and sighed, "I think I am," he said, "Well, I think I've figured his anger. First of all to Daniel which was fairly obvious," every one looked at the uncomfortable Dr. Pierce, "he is subconsciously linking you to Jackson and Jackson is linked to slavery, so he is linking you to that,"

"As for his normal anger, when slaves are rescued from slavery they often have the feeling of uselessness and helplessness because people 'tip-toe' around him. When wounded came he asked me if he could help, I didn't answer and he didn't react to that, but he got very curt….sharp,"

"So we know what's going on," Charles said sipping his already cold coffee, "but do you say are we going to do about it,"

"Talk to him,"

"Who?" that was Radar.

"All of us, just like we have been.

"Should I?" Daniel asked. He was very leery about talking to his son again.

"Especially you, Daniel," Sidney explained, "he thinks he hates you because he is refusing to remember Jackson, so seeing you still triggers the pain, but not who caused it,"

"So, theoretically speaking…" Charles was interested, "if Pierce were to encounter Jackson again, what would happen?"

"It would probably trigger a psychological breakdown. He wouldn't know who the one that really inflicted the pain was, he would most likely loose any memories he had gained and become the essence of the child he was when he first met Jackson,"

Silenced followed.

"Can I see him now?"

Sidney looked at Daniel with a reassuring smile, "if it's all right with everyone…"

"Actually," Colonel Potter interrupted, "he needs a check up by one of the nurses,"

"I'll do it,"

"Margaret?"

"I can do it," and she left.

………

"The princess of the kingdom coming to see her lost love, the criminal locked away in the dungeon?" Hawkeye was still sitting cross-legged on the bed, writing in a pad of paper. She tried to read it, but it was in Italian.

She smiled at him, it was nice to here him joke, "come to mend the wounded knight after a terrible battle to rescue the princess," he didn't see the connection, but Margaret couldn't help but hope, "take off your shirt," she commanded laughing.

He raised an eyebrow, "Margaret…I never knew you were the type…" he laughed but none the less pulled of the green T, revealing the bandages. He couldn't explain the mood swing, but he liked Margaret. Sure sometimes she did the whispery voice thing, but most of the time she was nice and sweet, he could tell she was a nurse.

She sat on the bed next to him and laughed again, beginning to unwrap the bandages that was on his chest and torso. The bruises were healing and had taken on a yellowish-green color.

"Does it hurt?" she asked softly, "lay on your back,"

He very slowly lowered his uncovered back onto the bed wincing as it came into contact with the rough material.

"Sometimes," he winced as she began checking his ribs by very gently prodding the skin and muscles beneath it with her fingers. She couldn't help but notice how tense he was and the fact that he flinched when she touched him, not just from pain.

"Alright, sit up," he did so and she checked the bruises on his back, "take a deep breath and hold it," he did and she rewrapped his chest and torso.

"Your dad's going to come and see you later," she commented lightly as she undid the wraps on his arms to reapply ointment to the gashes and bruises.

"Oh," he said calmly watching her every movement.

"Yes, he wants to talk to you again," she through him a clean shirt.

"I figured," he pulled it on, wincing slightly.

"Are you going to talk to him?"

He looked at her in annoyance. The accursed whisper was back…., "we'll see…."

End Chapter 25

The Accursed Whisper

Longer? Better? I hope both, I liked that one. I found if anyone seems to care that I think my chapters are a lot better if I write them out before I type them…but maybe that's just me and I'm weird who knows.