A/N: At first the boring part, the disclaimer. I don't even dare to think of owning something from Beyblade, so forget about those plans of suing me.
The song is from Spice girls, called Viva forever, and I have no ownership over it either. I thought it suit in to the story beautifully.
And then the story. I'm warning you again, it's sad, but I hope you like it anyway.
Do you still remember, how we used to be
Feeling together, believe in whatever
My love has said to me
Both of us were dreamers
Young love in the sun
Felt like my Saviour, my spirit I gave you
We'd only just begun
I don't know if I was crying or not as I held his shivering form in my arms, and actually, I don't even care. At that moment, all that mattered was what we both knew, despite the whispered words.
Time was up. He was going to fly away from me.
I let out a strangled cry as I pressed my hand even more tightly onto one of the wounds that poured out his blood, let out the little life there still was in him. I wanted to scream, wanted to stop the clocks, but couldn't do a thing.
It wasn't fair! It wasn't supposed to happen!
I blinked my eyes as I suddenly felt a hand pressed on mine. I became even more stunned as I looked down and found his breathtaking auburn eyes gazing back at me, filled with pain.
" I… can't… hold on…", he whispered weakly, almost apologetically. " I'm sorry…".
" Sh", I calmed him, pressing a finger to his already slightly blue lips. Talking would only wear him out, and I couldn't let that happen when he was at that state. " Help will be here soon… Just hang on for a little while longer… Please…". Already then I knew that it wasn't his decision to make.
He nodded, obviously too weak to start an argument with me. I felt a sharp slash of ache as he broke into a fit of painful coughs, and a small dribble of blood coloured his dangerously blue lips. Not exactly sure of what to do to ease his agony, I simply held him tighter, careful not to disturb the various wounds in his battered body.
Letting anger blissfully take away some of the pain, I looked around with my midnight-blue eyes accusingly. Where the heck were the paramedics! Where were the others? Didn't they realise that there was no time to waste!
" Tyson…". The voice was so quiet, so filled with grief and pain, that I couldn't help but look at him.
" Y – yeah?".
His eyes were filled with sadness, but I immediately understood that it wasn't for him. He'd never been afraid of dying. It was almost painful to realise that once again, I was the reason he was hurting. " Promise me… Don't forget…".
I'm sure that if my tears hadn't been rolling before, those words made them brake loose. Despite the tears, I had a sad smile upon my lips as I brushed the white-gold ring on his finger. Inside it had been engraved Fire and wind joined forever. " How could I ever forget?".
Hasta Manana, Always be mine
Viva forever, I'll be waiting
Everlasting, like the sunLive forever, for the moment
Ever searching for the sun/ As I woke up in the middle of the night, I couldn't at first pinpoint what had woken me up. Suddenly a quiet, just barely audible sobs reached my ears. I frowned. Who could be crying? Then I heard the words, so silent, yet so filled with pain that it tore my heart.
" Mama… Papa… Djed, nje!".
I couldn't help but gasp. Kai, our tough, icy Kai, having nightmares!
But at that point I made a decision that changed both our lives forever. I got up from my bed and walked up to him, sitting onto the edge of his bed, looking at him. He was tossing and turning, his tear-strained face contorted with pain as he kept whispering silent words. Gently, knowing very well how he felt about being touched, I gently took his hand. " Kai, wake up", I whispered to him, giving his hand a squeeze. There was no reaction. " Kai, it's alright. Wake up, please. It's… it's just a dream". For some reason, it was impossible for me to believe that it was just a nightmare he was seeing. " Kai…".
I gasped as he suddenly shot up and squeezed my hand with painful force, eyes huge and gasping for air as if he was drowning. I returned his squeeze, tough not with as much force, letting him know that I was there. " It's alright".
He suddenly seemed to become aware of his surroundings, for he ripped his hand roughly from mine and glared at me with those auburn orbs that put any flame in this world to shame. " What the heck do you think you're doing?" he bit out.
" You were having a nightmare", I explained calmly. Of course his words stung, but I wouldn't let it get to me. Kai was obviously upset.
" Go back to bed, Granger", he told me harshly, laying himself down and closing his eyes, his back turned insinuatingly towards me.
I grit my teeth not to snap at him. " Kai, don't be such a baby". I inhaled and exhaled deeply to calm myself. " Everybody has nightmares. It's only human". By then, I had fully regained my composure. " You're not alone anymore, you know? Let me be there for you, please. Everybody needs a friend sometimes".
He didn't say a word, but didn't shove me off either, so I slowly laid myself beside him and wrapped my other arm protectively around him. I could feel him jolt at the touch first, but he didn't tell me to get off him, so I closed my eyes with a huge smile upon my lips and drifted into asleep.
It was that night, as I exhaled Kai's soft scent of ocean-waves and touching his soft, warm skin, I realised that the Phoenix had enchanted me. And after that, there was no turning back. /
Yes I still remember, every whispered word
The touch of your skin, giving life from within
Like a love song that I'd heard
Slipping through our fingers, like the sands of time
Promises made, every memory saved
Has reflections in my mind
/ I don't remember for how long I'd been looking for Kai when I finally found him from the porch of my dojo. It was a surprise, actually. Tough we'd became close after that nightmare of his, he'd never came to me like this.
Well, things were a little… crazy back then. It'd been for only two weeks from when he defeated Brooklyn with almost the ultimate price. From when he lost Dranzer.
" Hi", I greeted, taking a seat beside him. " What are you doing here?".
He gave me just a swift look to acknowledge I was there, then looked at the stars again. " This is a good place to think, I guess".
I nodded, feeling somewhat thrilled by his words. After all, it wasn't everyday someone like Kai Hiwatari confessed enjoying being around your place.
As we were absorbed into a silence, I took a critical eye on him. Gosh, he was still so painfully bruised that it hurt me to even look at him. But it wasn't just the external injuries. I could see from the shadow hanging over him that he'd been bruised on the inside as well, possibly much worse than on the outside. " You okay?".
" Stop babying me, Granger", he retorted, not looking at me.
I pouted. " Well then stop giving me reasons to baby you!".
I couldn't help but become amazed when he looked at me, his eyes betraying all his emotions. It wasn't that I hadn't seen his emotions before, just that never before so completely. " Why do you care so much?".
His question made me almost furious. How the heck hadn't he realised it yet, after all that time! How could he not know how much I cared? I took his hand, ignoring the confused look in his eyes, and gave it a gentle kiss. " Because I do care about you, Kai. More than I've ever cared about anyone before". My blue eyes flashed. " I still don't understand. Why did you fight so hard against Brooklyn? And don't tell me it was because of your pride, because I don't believe that".
I'd asked that question several times, and didn't expect to get an answer then. That was why I was once again taken by surprise when he looked at me, eyes burning like never before, and spoke in a tone I'd never heard from him before. " Because I couldn't bare the idea of you having to go through the same". He gave my hand a squeeze. " And I'm ready to do whatever it takes to protect you". /
Hasta Manana, Always be mine
Viva forever, I'll be waiting
Everlasting, like the sunLive forever, for the moment
Ever searching for the sunAnd eventually, he'd ended up giving his everything because of me. No matter how little I liked the idea, it was my fault he was laying there in my arms, giving the breaths we both knew to be his last ones.
Without even self noticing it, I held him tighter, probably hurting him. I couldn't let go of him, I couldn't let him fly away.
Damnit! Phoenixes were supposed to be invincible, immortal! I wasn't supposed to be loosing him!
And I wasn't going to, not without a fight.
He moved his head, tough it must've required all his strength, and looked at me, auburn eyes filled with pleading. We both knew what he was asking from me, what he needed. " Please…".
I shook my head vigorously, tears running like burning rivers down my cheeks. " Kai, don't! The help is already coming. Just hang in there for a little while longer, 'k? I'm not letting go of you".
Pain flashed in his eyes as the stared into nothingness again, the eyes that before held such fire and life completely blank.
At that moment, I hated myself more than ever before.
He'd given his everything – his life, damnit – for me, but what did I give him in return? I didn't even have the strength and courage to let him fly to where his pain would be over!
It had been wrong from the begin with to capture him, I realised. He should've been free, untamed, unattached, like all magical creatures. I suppose it's the way we humans work. When we see something beautiful and wild, we have to capture it, claim it ours. It was ironic, actually. I have always hated Voltaire and Boris for what they did to Kai, for the way they chained him and tried to control him, but I wasn't any better.
And I was keeping Kai from the freedom he needed the most.
I couldn't let him fly, I couldn't let go of him when he needed it the most. I wasn't able to promise him what he needed to hear more than anything. I couldn't let go of the magical creature that had never really belonged to me.
Tears ran down my cheeks as I freed one hand and stroked his silky hair. " I'm sorry".
But we're all alone now, was it just a dream
Feelings never told, they will never be sold
And the secrets safe with me
The next few moments were silent as we both went through our memories, lived again the far too short time we'd had together.
Not really caring anymore about anything but forcing him to stay with me for a little while longer, I lifted his bloodied, broken body so that his chest was leaning against mine, his head hanging powerlessly against my shoulder, and buried my tear-strained face into his hair that still held the familiar scent of ocean.
That moment, I cried harder than I'd ever cried before in my entire life. " Don't go, please… Don't leave me… I'm begging you, stay with me… Please…".
Something warm, that for a first time that dark day wasn't blood, wetted my shirt. " Tyson…". That was the first time he ever called me by my first name. " Please… Let me go…".
Such pain, such desperation was evident in those laboured words… His faltering heart beating against my chest seemed just as desperate. It'd done its work bravely, but was now only asking for a permission to rest. Just like he.
Sobbing and crying so hard that I could barely see, I carefully leaned him against the nearby wall to be able to look at him. His lips were even more blue than before, and as I desperately pressed my hands against his wounds, trying to no avail stop the bleeding, I realised that he was already becoming cold. His breathing was laboured and hitched, sounded so painful that it broke my heart, as he tried to say something, but the words no longer found their way out.
Such pain to be alive. It was cruel to force him to stay here any longer, I realised. I couldn't hold him back any more, I loved him too much.
Tears fell even harder as I released my hands from his wounds, finally admitting the fact that the bleeding wasn't going to stop, and caressed his face. " I wish I could keep you with me, but…". Tears kept me from speaking for a while. " I can't… I have to let you fly… Reach the sun…". I kissed his forehead, then his lips with all the passion inside of me, crying. After the kisses I took his hand in one of mine as the other rested on his cheek, and pressed my forehead against his. " But this isn't goodbye… No matter for how long it takes, I will come to you… I will find you… I will always be yours…". I reluctantly parted from him slightly to look at him. He was also crying, the look in his eyes already fading. He was already on his way.
" Thank you…", he whispered, so quietly that I had to strain my hearing to catch it, and weakly squeezed my hand. " Always… yours…".
With that his eyes slowly slipped shut and his grip on my hand broke. As I cried even harder than before and squeezed his hand desperately, I could've sworn I felt a warm breeze as his sprit left this world.
Stroking his cold cheek, I whispered in a voice feeble from all the tears still rolling. " I love you".
Suddenly my blurry gaze noticed something falling, and as I reflexively outstretched my hand a single fire-red feather of a Phoenix fell on it, and a peaceful, happy look appeared on Kai's face.
The Phoenix was finally free.
Hasta Manana, Always be mine
Viva forever, I'll be waiting
Everlasting, like the sunLive forever, for the moment
Ever searching for the sunEnd.
A/N: My Gods, that was probably the saddest thing I've ever written!
Thank you so much for reading, and feel free to review.