A/N: Thanks for all the reviews peoples! It seems like everyone wants a catfight so I'll try to put that in. I know Artemis is a little out of character and thank you all for coping with that. I'll try to keep that cold exterior of his as well as Holly's character. I'm trying to make Hannah as hateable (if that's a word) as possible so it's okay if you hate her.

Clarification: Holly did not see or hear the conversation between Hannah and Artemis. She arrived just at Hannah left the Fowl Manor.

"Talk"
Thoughts

Recap:

"I find auburn hair highly attractive Ms. Dellings. Also hazel eyes are very seductive too." replied Artemis

"I'll change myself Arty to suit your needs Arty. I'll go to the salon right away. Bye!" said Hannah.

After Hannah left, Artemis heard a knocking on his window. He looked up to see the heartwarming smile of Holly Short motioning for him to let her in.

An Artemis Fowl Stalker
Chapter 4: Perfection and the Best

"Open the window already Fowl or I'll blast it open for you," threatened Holly jokingly as Artemis got up slowly to invite the captain in.

"Hold on Miss Short. Are you that impatient to hold me? I know we haven't seen each other in a while but I didn't know you were that attached to me." Artemis joked as he opened the window for Holly to come in. Holly both noticed Artemis's sudden growth spurt. He was now over 6 inches taller and is still growing.

"Ha ha. Very funny," laughed Holly sarcastically. She now felt very tiny standing near the Fowl heir. Holly casually took a seat in a nearby sofa like it was just her home. Holly studied Artemis's room. The place looked different. Artemis had replaced all his computers with a more advanced version and had set up a better security system in which Foaly could not hack into.

"New TV, new computer. You really are a rich boy Fowl."

Artemis smiled to himself, or Holly, and boasted, "Of course. We can't get along with cheap outdated computers. That's why they have to be replaced with the better kind. Fowls have to have the best."

"Oh," commented Holly and wondered if the Fowls replaced people like friends. "Would a friend like me ever be replaced by a prettier girl Artemis?"

"I don't know, depends on how pretty she is," Artemis replied teasingly. Holly kept quiet. "Well what business brings you here? It couldn't be to just see me."

"Well Mulch and mine's private investigation business is doing great," began Holly. "Mostly it's just jealous wives coming in and wanting us to tail their husbands to see if they have an affair, but we get a good pay. We've been working so much that we decide to take a break for 2 months. I decided that fresh air is what I need so I'll be staying with you for a while." With this Holly paused. "You don't mind me staying do you?"

"No. Not at all. I could arrange you to stay in our manor." He was quite glad that Holly would be staying but the Hannah business was still unsettled.

His weariness must of shown because Holly said, "Are you okay Artemis? You look worn out. Has any recent schemes occupied your mind lately?" teased Holly. She was concerned for her human friend. He did not look well and she knew because she has been unconsciously studying him for some time.

He's taller. Much taller than me. His hair's about 1.3 cm. longer and still black. Eyes are still icy blue I see.

Artemis chuckled silently seeing that he never had a friend that concerned about him. He also noticed Holly looking at him.

"I never knew you pay that much attention to me Holly. I thought you still bear a grudge on me. From the moment you stepped in here, I noticed that you have been eyeing me for some time. Am I that good looking for you to be staring at me? Or am I just imagining it?"

Holly took her eyes off Artemis and replied cooly, "Nah Fowl. I was merely studying how different you look. I haven't seen you in half a year already so don't get any weird thoughts."

"I won't," assured Artemis with a smirk. "I need your help again Holly."

"Help? What is it that's troubling you? Money? Gold? Family?"

Artemis wanted to ask Holly to help get rid of Hannah but was partly afraid that she would laugh at him once he mentioned it. He however decided to risk it anyways.

"It's this girl. She likes me but I don't like her and she's kissing up on my parents. I've rejected her again and again but she's not letting me go."

Artemis was glad that he had not offered Holly any refreshments because she would spit it all out and destroy his Victorian sofa and possibly his laptop which he had out nearby. Holly was laughing so much Artemis guessed that her stomach was hurting too.

"Fowl?... You... have.. an. an. an admire! Man this is funny."

"Calm down Short. It's not funny. This is a serious subject. You're an embarrassment to all the fairies in Haven. Tell you what, I'll even pay you if you help me."

Holly slightly calmed down. "Okay Fowl. I'll take this case, but tell me the truth, do you have any feelings for this girl?"

"No," said Artemis simply. He knows that he has fallen for Hannah once but he could never imagine a great Fowl like him ever going with an uptown girl like Hannah. Yes, she was just a girl to him. Not a woman but a self-centered childish kid.

Holly was quit pleased with his answer. A part of her didn't want Artemis with another girl. Was it jealousy? thought Holly. Her, Holly Short, jealous over some mudguy? No, can't be, and Holly dismissed the idea.

"Well how does she look like?"

Artemis pulled out a folder from one of the drawers from his desk. He handed it to Holly to read while he lectured her on the Hannah Dellings. He had conducted a search on her a few days before.

"Hannah Dellings. Age 15, like me. Attending Saint Bartleby's Public School for Young Ladies, across the road from my school. She's the illegitimate daughter of the head of a mob of gangs. She's spoiled, annoying, and rather perverted. She lives with her father and her stepmother. Her biological mother mysteriously disappeared. I presumed she was murdered by her husband. He features are green eyes, blond hair. Height 5 feet 4 inches. Weight, 90.7 lbs."

"Do you have to get it down to the last decimal? And what's with her three measurements?" Holly flipped through the papers in the folder and found a picture of Hannah. Holly admitted that Hannah was pretty. She had the curves, the body, the looks. Smooth skin. Holly wondered why Artemis didn't just get with her. She would be perfect as the Fowl's daughter.

"Her? She's the little brat that's been stalking you?"

"Yes. Don't be fooled by her looks. She is attractive I admit but inside, she's really dirty and sinister."

Attractive, right. Holly started comparing herself to Hannah. I can never match up to her looks.

"She's like a troublesome stain. Hard to wash off. I would never agree to be with her. A man like me needs a perfect woman. Not some girl who is going to interfere with my bright future." continued Artemis's complaints.

Holly decided that she would help Artemis if that was the last thing she did. She could understand why Hannah was after Artemis. He was now more manlier than before and even she felt turned on just by looking at him.

"Do you consider me as a stain Arty? Annoying and ugly?" She really wanted to know what Artemis felt about her. Was she as pretty as Hannah? Would a friend like her keep Artemis down?

Artemis knew how she felt about Hannah. Her expression showed jealousy and sadness. Could it be that she was worried that I would fall for Hannah? thought Artemis.

"I don't consider you a stain. Holly you will be the one friend in my life that I will never consider as a stain and I will never replace you. You are irreplaceable."

Holly felt special knowing this and smiled like a child while continuing to read the files on Hannah..

After skimming the papers on Hannah, Holly started with her plan. "Well to business! I have devised a perfect plan."

"You sure you don't need to meditate on this first?" asked Artemis who always meditated before executing a plan.

"No Fowl. My plan is going to be called GROH. It stands for Get Rid Of Hannah and is foolproof. Not even you, Artemis, could come up with a better plan."

Artemis doubted this. "Continue."

"As you know, females are very emotional creatures. An exception in me of course. Since you tried to tell her straight forward that you detest her and she is still coming back, we know that she is very, very persistent. Now, what is the top reason why couples break up with each other?" Holly waited for Artemis's answer.

"How should I know?" answered Artemis who despised saying those words. He did not like admitting that he didn't know something.

"Well let me tell you. They break up because they found out that their spouse was cheating on them. All we have to do is to tell Hannah that you're taken. You will have a fake girlfriend. Then we will arrange Hannah and your fake girlfriend to meet. Hannah will admit defeat when she knows that she is not as good as your fake girlfriend. Clever I might say."

"One problem, who's going to pretend to me my girlfriend?"

"Juliet of course! Who else is better than Hannah?" Artemis didn't answer. "Or is she not here?"

"She's taking a trip to America to see this wrestling match. She won't be back until another 2 weeks."

"Oh. Fine. No biggie. We have to improvise. I will be your girlfriend."

"You?" Artemis wasn't sure she was able to act that well. "Are you any good?"

"Hey. I took drama in middle school. Don't worry. Have faith in my plan." Holly pounded on her chest to show that she was able to take the task.

Artemis didn't know what to say. "I hope this works. What happens if this fails?"

It was Holly's turn to smirk. "Then we go to plan B."

A/N: Next chapter will involve Holly and Hannah's fight. I hope all goes well my fiends. Review!