Authors Note: So longer this time, I think, I worked on it for a couple of extra days, so excuse the wait.
I also think I deserve a nice pat on the back, 2300 words….or somewhere around there, thank you bows deeply
This isn't over yet, I have a few more chapters, but its close, but this is NOT the last chapter
Chapter 28
The Healing Hands of a Father
Margaret and Hawkeye walked into camp slowly, arms linked, talking softly. The other campers, who were running around frantically, froze at the sight. Colonel Potter was one of them.
"Where the hell have you been?" he bellowed, reaching them in quick steps.
Hawkeye visibly cringed, "I was out….eh….walking," he explained, releasing Margaret. "Margaret 'found' me and she kindly walked me back," his voice had a growing edge, a threatening edge.
"You're lucky you're not dead, boy!"
Anger and fear flashed in Hawkeye's eyes at the last word, "don't you dare call me that."
The Colonel looked more than a little surprised, and he knew he had done something wrong. "I'm sorry, son, you scared us that's all," he reached out as if to place his hand on in his shoulder.
Hawkeye flinched and wrenched away from the touch, "I think, I can take care of myself."
"I know, but you don't know where anything is, with the mind fields and all," he explained defensively.
"I know how to read! Colonel," he added as an after thought. "Now….Good Day," he snapped curtly and turning to Margaret bowed casually and said in a much softer voice, "thank you, la mia Signora (my lady)," and stalked off leaving a very sad Major and a very confused Colonel.
"What the devil did I do?"
"I think you called him 'boy,'"
"That's it! Why in the blazed did that get him upset?"
"Very simple really," said Sidney walking up followed by Daniel, BJ and Charles.
"Do tell," Charles said half-sarcastic, half-enthused, "but let me guess, he linked it some how to Jackson…?"
BJ sent a dangerous glare towards Charles for his nonchalant attitude.
"Yes, actually," Sidney said calmly, "that's exactly it. After learning about –," he cut himself off, looking around the compound at the various people who were now running around to call off search parties, "maybe we should go somewhere else."
"To my office."
………
In Potter's office BJ, seeing Hawkeye wasn't there to do it, began pouring drinks.
"I've heard rumors Hawkeye was found," Father Mulcahny said rushing in.
"Relax, Padre, he's safe and sound."
"Thank the Lord," he said crossing himself and dropping into a chair.
"Now, Sidney," BJ handed everyone a glass of 'good alcool' as Daniel called it, "please…continue," BJ said leaning against the desk and waving his hand.
Sidney picked up where he left off, "after I learned about what happened to Hawkeye, I called an old friend in the States who was used to dealing with this kind of stuff…"
Flashback
"Hello, George?"
"Sidney! I thought my secretary said Freedman. What have you been up to ol' chum?" the Irish man on the other line laughed.
"I'm over here in Korea, George, and I need to ask you something,"
"Having trouble with a case, Sid?" the voice dropped to a concerned whisper.
"Yes, as a matter of fact I am," he then told a simple version of Hawkeye's story, leaving out names of course.
George let out a low whistle, "that's a tough on', what do you need to know?"
"Anything you can tell me. Got any advice after working on that Johnson kid?"
"Well for one, called Johnson 'boy' or 'kid' and he spazzed. Wouldn't come within a few feet of me after that, scared mindless."
"This seems different, George," his voice rose as the static increased, "he's got a lot of anger built up, was never really confronted until now,"
"Hmm….sorry Sid, don't think I can help with that,"
"Thanks George,"
"Good luck!"
End Flashback
"Damn," Potter cursed, "so this case is hopeless." He threw his cowboy hat on his desk.
"Not necessarily, last time I checked, the Johnson kid was living a full and happy life."
Potter didn't look convinced but didn't press him. "Well Sidney, I think you need to tell us the next step."
Sidney looked thoughtful, "Rad-"
Radar walked in, "yes sir, choppers expected in a couple of hours."
"Thank you, Radar."
"Yes, sir."
"Choppers, Sidney?" BJ questioned.
"Yep, I think it's about time we let him know how many people are really relying on him."
………
They all waited restlessly for the choppers, and when they finally came they were everything, but ready.
It was a light load, but Sidney figured it was enough to trigger something in Hawkeye's memories.
"You sure this is going to work, Sid?"
Charles did his annoying laugh/cackle, "that's all we need….a psychotic foreigner,"
"I'd keep your mouth shut, Winchester," Potter said, walking into the scrub room. "That 'foreigner happens to be our best surgeon. Now Hunnicutt what were you asking Sidney?"
"I was asking him if he was sure this would work – are you alright, Colonel?"
He sighed exhausted, "as soon as this passes I will be."
At that moment Daniel and Margaret walked in, "you feeling alright, Major" Daniel asked a humbled Charles. His accent seemed as thick as ever. "You look like a kid who got caught with his hand in a cookie jar."
Charles huffed at him, "where my hand is, be it in a patient or in a cookie jar, is none of your concern."
Daniel raised an eyebrow, "a little touchy are we, preoccupato, worried?"
Charles didn't answer, just stood and stalked away.
"What's his problem?"
"Nothing...who's getting Hawkeye?" No one wished to risk Daniel's temper, which they assumed would be just like Hawkeye's if they saw it.
"I will," Margaret hurried away before anyone could stop her.
………
She knocked softly, hoping, begging, praying that he would answer. No such luck. "Hawkeye," she knocked even harder, a knot forming in her stomach. "Come on Hawkeye it's me, open up."
At that the door opened and she was pulled in, the door slamming behind her.
"What are you doing, Hawkeye?"
The room was dark except for the moonlight through the window.
"I don't know," he was sitting on the edge of the bed, hands clasped, and head down like a reprimanded child.
Margaret sat down next to him, smiling at the fact that he didn't flinch, "we could use your help in O.R."
His eyes lit up and he smiled up at her, then seeing her face, the light faded and he looked down again, "I'm not a doctor," he said softly, refusing to meet her gaze again. "I'd probably just be in the way."
"Father Mulcahny and the Corporals help, they aren't doctors…come on," she grabbed his hand and pulled, dragging him to his feet.
He stopped and stared at her and she turned to smile reassuringly at him. Walking forward she placed a kiss on his cheek, "now, Captain, that's an order."
He smiled and let her pull him out the door, and out of the darkness.
………
The O.R was done. Hawkeye did everything he was told, which was expected. He had remained silent unless spoken too. The perfect slave.
He was incredibly stiff when speaking to Colonel Potter.
In Daniel's mind he seemed totally indifferent to the patients, to the nurses, to the doctors, very…unfeeling. Something the other Ben wouldn't do. He refrained from saying the 'real' Ben because he wasn't to sure what the 'real' Ben was like anymore.
After O.R Hawkeye had followed them into the scrub room, where he stood uncertainly in the corner.
Margaret walked over to him, not speaking. She had been thinking about what Daniel Said….
Flashback
"Margaret," Daniel dropped his voice to a whisper so no one else heard, "do you know why Ben has that 'love 'em and leave 'em' sort of attitude?"
The question captured the mere essence of randomness. "I figured it was just his style."
Daniel smiled, "ah-ha, that's what he wants everyone to think, but really," his face grew solemn again, "he's really only ever loved five women, his mother, who you know died when he was young, and three others…."
"What happened?"
"He told them the truth, everything about what happened with Jackson…and every single one of them left with the words, 'I don't I can handle such dangerous stuff, I don't feel I have to suffer just because you did….'"
Margaret didn't answer; she clenched her eyes shut to stop the anger from showing.
"He's just afraid of being hurt, Margaret."
"Who's the fifth?"
"Hmm….?"
"You said five women, who's the fifth?"
Daniel watched her for a moment, catching her eyes with his, "you."
End Flashback
So there she was, standing stupidly next to the man who claimed to love her.
Any other day, she would have claimed to love him, too, but not today….she wasn't sure if she did anymore. Daniel spoke of a whole other side of Hawkeye, a side she never met, a side she didn't know if she loved. She wasn't sure what she loved about him in the first place. Normally she would have said his wit, or his humor, but….not anymore. Sure she loved his wit, his humor, but was he really like that or was it just a cover-up?
She didn't answer when Hawkeye asked what was wrong; she wasn't going to hurt him, like Daniel thought she would. She could hear the accusation in his voice, when he said 'he was afraid of being hurt.' He doesn't want to see his son hurt, she could understand that, so she wasn't going to hurt him.
………
Daniel and Hawkeye were the only ones left in the Scrub Room, "you did good in there," he said just to break the uncomfortable silence. "You're a natural."
Hawkeye sent him an annoyed glare, but didn't respond. He wasn't even sure why he stayed.
"Lei bene, il Falco?" (You alright, Hawk?)
Hawkeye nodded his head, stubbornly, refusing to acknowledge the fact that he used a child hood nickname.
"You are not," Daniel finished scrubbing up and walked over to sit down next to him. Hawkeye spun his head away so he wouldn't have to look him in the eyes.
"Ben, you're acting childish," Daniel said trying a different approach.
Hawkeye stood and walked over to the sinks, leaning on the porcelain. Why the hell did he stay?
Daniel stood and walked to him, placing his hand on his sons shoulder, "Ben?"
Hawkeye flinched and stepped to the side. "Don't touch me," he hissed, glaring darkly, eyes venomous. He took another step back, towards the door, "stay away." He took another step back, "please, just stay away."
"Ben, stop, please, listen to me," he could see the panic building in his eyes, the fear and anger that had been there for so long, but never been noticed. "Please, son, I am trying to help you," his back hit the wall, causing the building to quiver. That drew attention and in ran the group, right behind Daniel.
Hawkeye had himself backed into a corner, his hands in front of him, warningly, "how can I trust you? How do I know you aren't going to betray me? Everyone else has, how do, I know you're not different?"
"Try Italian…." Sidney's voice was soft, "it might help,"
Daniel glanced back briefly at the psychiatrist before turning back to his disoriented son. He almost smiled at the progress Hawkeye had made towards the door in that briefest of glances.
"Il figlio, me ascolta per favore. Non vado dolerla (Son, please listen to me, I am not going to hurt you)." He knew his reasoning was illogical, but he had no other choice, "Lei è il mio bambino, non la dorrei mai! Niente me non potrebbe fare ciò fa (you are my child, I would never hurt you! Nothing could make me do that!)"
He took a step closer and instantly Hawkeye's back hit the wall when he took another step. His breathing was becoming labored, his mind fuzzy. Images kept flashing in his mind, of the countryside, a desert, children in cages, men taking them away. A woman was singing softly to a young child, it was him, and his mother. He screwed his eyes shut and held his head, pressing his back to the wall, slowly falling to the ground. He felt arms grab his shoulders and he wanted to push away, but something stopped him. Something told him that he could trust this man who claimed to be his father. He collapsed into the embrace, tears streaming down his cheeks, sobs racking his small form
They sat on the floor, Hawkeye trembling in his father's arms, "it's alright, son, I'm here, now," the soft Italian cooing lulled Hawkeye into a quiet state of mind.
From the opposite side of the room, the others watched with a mixture of relief… "...and guilt, each one thinking that if only they had talked and listed to Hawkeye more...but they all assumed so easily that everything was alright with him, because he laughed and joked as if nothing was the matter. He comforted them in their time of need, but really he was the one that need to be comforted….so they left that small room. There was nothing else they could do anyway, not anymore.
………
He didn't know how long he sat there after the others left; all he knew was that his son needed him. So he stayed there, gently rocking his trembling form as the psychological abuse began to heal. He was never going to let his happen to his son again.
TBC!
TBC!
It's not over yet, ventilatori…..