AUTHOR'S NOTE READ IT'S IMPORTANT: Last chapter I know it's sad, but don't worry, I am definitely writing a follow-up story (about like his psychological healing and stuff)

Another Author's Note: Thanks to all my readers and reviewers, special thanks to 4077Hawk and HawkSoul and my wonderful beta Steph36, she's the greatest.

Chapter 30

It's Just Beginning

"Margaret…" BJ softly whispered trying to stir the blond nurse without startling her charge, Hawkeye. "Margaret….." he sang, "time to rise and shine…"

"Five more minutes, Hawkeye, I'm tired…" she groaned in her sleep.

BJ snickered evilly, "but honey, foods ready in the mess tent."

"BJ?" she cracked one eye open. "How long have I been sleeping, is it morning?"

"It is. Daniel told me to come gather you up, I'm taking over…."

Margaret stood and smiled at him then leaned over and kissed Hawkeye on the temple, muttering softly, "you can't sleep the rest of your life away, Hawkeye, besides I'm sick of hurting my back waiting for you." His head shifted to get away from the cool breath that was blowing in his ear.

She smiled again, this time with less hope, and started to leave.

"Oh Margaret?" BJ smirked at her, "what were you dreaming about?"

She blushed six shades of red, "none of your business," and stormed out.

BJ laughed. He could only imagine.

BJ sat down next to his still friend. "Hey Hawkeye…" he said softly and placed a hand on his arm. The reaction was instant; he tensed and flinched away, his breathing quickening.

BJ didn't pull his hand away, but tightened his grip….Hawkeye fought.

"Easy Hawkeye, It's me….BJ…." He didn't get why Hawkeye was fighting his touch, he was okay with Margaret…she was sleeping next to him for God's sake. "I'm not going to hurt you Hawkeye….easy…." Very slowly the fighting subsided and he relaxed.

BJ still didn't let go….normally he would have brushed off the incident, telling himself it was just a side effect of the trauma, but this time it was different. Something was bothering Hawkeye about BJ and that's why he freaked out. Hawkeye was scared of him…..

"Come on, Hawkeye…." He pleaded softly, releasing him at last and cringing when Hawkeye shied away, "Hawkeye just wake up. I'm a doctor and I don't know what's wrong with you….please, Hawkeye, you're my best friend…."

………

There was something about the man's voice….BJ, best friend. That just seemed so weird. BJ was the one who bought him from Jackson. But wasn't that to save him? He searched his memories for anything else and BJ kept turning up: they were laughing and joking and then at one time fighting. He shuddered and felt BJ gently grasp his shoulder, he tensed and the hand disappeared. Hawkeye relaxed, disappointed.

"Come on, Hawkeye…." BJ whispered softly.

Hawkeye wanted to open his eyes and say something, but he couldn't. He just wanted to talk to him.

"Hawkeye…"

……….

BJ could tell he was struggling, "come on Hawk."

Hawkeye moaned softly, "BJ…." His voice was weak and scratchy.

BJ felt his heart lift, "stay with me Hawkeye…" he grabbed the glass of water that was next to the bed. Slipping his arm under Hawkeye's shoulders, he tipped the glass. Hawkeye gulped it down. "BJ, What…?" his voice was still weak.

"Quiet." Hawkeye in turn let out a soft moan.

"Something hurt?"

"My….ribs, and…..back."

"Your ribs were broken."

Another moan.

"I'll get you some morphine." When BJ returned with the meds, Hawkeye was already fast asleep.

BJ smiled and sat back down to wait for his friend to wake again.

………

BJ fell asleep much later, just as the sun was going down. He slept soundly through the night and didn't wake until the next morning when Daniel came in.

Daniel's eyes lingered on the pain killer on the nightstand briefly. He walked over to BJ and shook his shoulder. The slumbering man instantly woke, head snapping up in surprise.

"Come on, Hunnicutt," Daniel said, "it's about time you got some real sleep."

"What about him?" BJ stood, motioning to the still sleeping Hawkeye. "Man, he sleeps a lot."

Daniel laughed, "'He'll be alright."

They both left with the logic of he doesn't need to wake up with the feeling of being watched like a baby chick by his mother hen….or hens.

………

Hawkeye very slowly and became aware of his surroundings, almost instantly realizing he was now alone. For the first time in a long time he completely relaxed.

He moaned softly. God, I need a back massage.

His back…his whole body really….was killing him, probably from lying here for who knows how long, but he was still confused.

Why his father was here was his first question. It's not like he hadn't suffered physical abuse before. He was used to it, his father knew that….and as horrible as it sounded, and his father probably knew he deserved this torture. It was a child's mentality to think he deserved it, but that's what he grew up thinking, and as much as his father told him it wasn't true he couldn't help but not believe him.

Slowly he sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed, his socked feet coming into contact with the cold floor. Shivering, he pulled on his boots and jacket that hung at the foot of his bed.

His doctor's judgment told him to stay put, in bed, where it was warm under the blankets and where it was safe, but his stubborn side kept kicking in and he forced himself to stand and walk. A dizzy spell hit and he desperately threw his hands out to break his fall. He landed on the floor with a painful 'thump' and sat there silently, feeling dumb and useless. He wouldn't take that though; he shakily stood again and stubbornly walked to the door and out of the room.

………

BJ and Margaret were sitting in the Swamp when Hawkeye casually sauntered in. "Good morning, lady and gentleman," he said with that familiar air of wit and quirkiness. "What has my fellow swamp rat and friend been doing without me? Margaret, I bet you're dyin' for lovin'." They weren't sure exactly what surprised them more, the fact that his Italian accent was completely gone or the way he was guarding himself with jokes again.

Margaret recovered quickly, "what are you doing out of bed?"

"Margaret, I wish I'd known," he smirked, pouring himself, Margaret and BJ each a glass of gin.

BJ smiled, "let's go Hawkeye." BJ gently took his arm as if to lead him away.

"No." Hawkeye stated blankly, plopping himself onto his bed, taking another sip of gin.

BJ rolled his eyes, "Margaret…." He said desperately. Margaret shook her head and nodded to the door so Hawkeye couldn't see. BJ sighed and left.

As soon as the door closed after BJ, Hawkeye sat up and threw himself at Margaret, enveloping her in a hug. She relaxed into his arms and hugged back. "Hawkeye, we need to talk."

"I'm just glad you're alright, Margaret." he whispered, nuzzling her hair.

"Hawkeye." She pulled away to stare at him. "What is the last thing you remember, before you woke up?"

"BJ was leaning over me, after….eh…..we got out." he brushed his hair out of his eyes nervously, "you're sure you're okay, Margaret?"

"I'm fine. Do you realize how long it's been since that happened?"

"How long?"

"Two months."

Hawkeye just sat quietly for a moment. "Coma….?" He asked softly, refusing to meet her eyes.

"I wish it was….you woke up a couple days after we were rescued, but….you couldn't remember anything. Sidney and your father-"

"So that's why he's here."

Margaret smiled again. "Never heard you speak with an Italian accent before."

"Italian?"

She went on to explain everything that happened, the arguments, their kiss over the hill, Sidney's opinions, everything she knew.

When she was finished, neither spoke, both lost in their own thoughts.

"O.R?" he asked at last.

"We've managed, but I'm glad you're alright."

An awkward silence ensued, before finally Hawkeye leaned over and hugged her again, "I love you, Margaret," he whispered softly, placing a gentle kiss on the nape of her neck.

She responded instantly and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him softly. "I love you too," she pulled away briefly. "It's not over."

Hawkeye stared at her. "What isn't over?"

She shook her head, "never mind, just shut up and kiss me," she pulled him to her tightly.

He didn't need to know what she thought. She knew his battle wasn't over yet, even if he thought it was. It was still raging, each side tugging and pulling, waiting for the other to give. She just hoped the right side won.

TO BE CONTINUED in another story, called The Man Within the Smile (a special thanks to 4077Hawk for the title)