Ch. 9 – Severus's Addiction

Ginny's body tingled with new found power as her mind fought waves of panic. Safely back in her room, the reality of what had happened finally set in. I was an idiot, she thought. I was just damn lucky that I didn't die instantly; I suppose I have Severus to think for that. I am even luckier that I didn't begin hallucinating and reveal myself or Severus to the Dark Lord. Then, there is the portkey. Either Voldemort or one of his followers had to set foot in my chambers in order to create it. It is time to ward my room. It is past time to make myself secure… how could I have been so stupid? But first things first, I need to meet with the rest of the Order members.

With purpose driving her movements and overriding panic, she flooed Dumbledore. "Call a meeting. I have important information for the Order."

He stared at Ginny's naked body beneath him. Her perfect, creamy white breasts with pert pink nipples begged his attention. His eyes roamed upward to her long sleek neck – where to begin? He brushed the silky, red hair from her neck and placed a kiss right under her earlobe. Slowly his kisses began to travel lower and lower, her barely suppressed moans and whimpers driving him onward. His mind lurched from feeling the pleasure he was giving her. They were connected in mind, body, and spirit.

Severus sat up straight in bed, heart-pounding, mind-reeling, body aching. What had awoken him from the first good dream he had in years? His mind searched his sensory memory for the knowledge.

"Uh-hmmm, Severus?" came the Headmaster's voice from the fireplace. "Are you awake now?"

"Of course, Headmaster," he said, shifting in bed so the fireplace was visible. He was unwilling to stand before the fireplace, uncomfortably aware that his current… uh… predicament… was more than noticeable. He waved his hand and the torches in his room lit. "What was it you needed?"

"Ms. Weasley has asked me to call a meeting of the Order. You were the only one who didn't answer the usual means of communication, so I decided to check on you."

"Oh, please forgive me for actually being able to sleep for once, Dumbledore," he replied sarcastically. "I'll be right there, assuming that I'm not called to… other duties." He almost wished Voldemort would call him. He had no desire to see Ginny now, or at any other time for that matter. His brilliant plan of isolating her in order to push her from his mind had backfired miserably, and well, she had become a sort of obsession since he had tried to purge her from his life… and this was only day one.

He pulled on his robes quickly, his mind still roaming. He was thinking about that dream. Damn it all to hell… he had to admit that he was addicted to Ginny Weasley.

What could be so important that she would call an Order meeting at this hour of the night? His blood ran cold at the possibilities.Not wanting to hold up the meeting, he flooed immediately to 12 Grimmauld Place. Much to his chagrin he found that he was the last to arrive.

Ginny surveyed the group gathered before her, taking a mental attendance. Remus and Tonks, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Albus, Minerva, Mum and Dad, Fred andGeorge, Charlie, Bill, Hagrid, Mundungus, and Severus… Who is missing? All in all, it wasn't a bad little group, although half of the Order wasn't present – Moody and Kingsley Shacklebolt, were two among the many missing. Of course, not everyone could be expected to drop everything in the middle of the night.

Dumbledore cleared his throat. "As you all know this meeting was really called by Ms. Weasley, however, before she begins, I thought that now would be a good time to reveal that we have a new member. Unfortunately, he couldn't join us tonight, but all the same… Draco Malfoy has decided to come to our side; although this is quite unexpected, he has agreed to spy on both his father and Voldemort. Apparently, he and his father had an argument."

"Albus, is it really wise…" began Lupin.

"Can we trust the lil' ferret?" asked Hagrid bluntly.

"Of course, not," replied Snape shrewdly. "But if Dumbledore has accepted his service, we will be forced to do so, much the way you have been forced to accept me," he continued his fierce black eyes sweeping over the Order almost disdainfully. "Now, can we get on with this meeting? Go on Ms. Weasley, I believe this was your meeting before the Headmaster so rudely 'stole your thunder' as the phrase goes."

Ginny inhaled sharply. "I spent much of the night with T… Voldemort. He finally revealed to me why he delayed the war this past year," she could feel the tension in the room and paused for dramatic effect. All eyes were on her. Harry opened his mouth to ask why, but she pressed on, "He has spies in Muggle society. He has slowly gained the support of Muggles and now intends an attack on two fronts – in the magical and non-magical worlds. He wants to take over the whole of Britain… and eventually the world."

"Oh no," said Hermione with wide eyes.

"Think of all the poor Muggles," said Minerva softly, "they won't know what hit them when Death Eaters show up at their door."

"I was thinking of the wizards!" said Hermione passionately. Heads turned to her questioningly. "How many of you would know how to defend against guns… or even bombs or napalm for that matter? Do you even know what napalm is? Is he insane? A war in which magic and machine fight against one another, even side by side, could destroy all of Britain!"

"We must inform the Muggle Prime Minister at once," said Dumbledore quickly.

"No," said Severus softly. All eyes turned to him, "You mustn't inform anyone. As far as we know,Ms. Weasleyis the only one who knows the full extent of the Dark Lord's plan. If the Prime Minister shares the news with his army, and the information filters down through the command, how long will it be before the information gets back to Voldemort himself? That is assuming the Prime Minister isn't already in Voldemort's pocket. Besides, there is not much that we can do besides prepare ourselves for the impending war… How long do we have Ms. Weasley?"

"He said that he could be certain of success in six months."

XXX

The meeting had not ended quickly. Even as the Hogwarts staff left (they did have to be prepared to teach classes in less than an hour), the rest of the Order had barely begun to discuss strategy. It seemed useless to Ginny, as the ball was fully in Voldemort's court and had been for the better part of a year-and-a-half. Ginny chose to apparate back to Hogsmeade and walk the rest of the way to Hogwarts, she had always found flooing a lot less comfortable than apparition.

"Ginny?" she heard Severus' voice from behind her. She had sensed him apparate, it seemed that the Black Lotus had already begun to make her more aware of the magic around her.

"Yes, Professor?"

"There's more to what happened tonight. More than what you told us at the meeting."

Ginny tensed. Did he find it that easy to read her? Did he know about theBlack Lotus or was he just fishing?Was she going to have to use Occlumency constantly in order to get privacy? "Yes," she said tersely. She felt him mentally steady himself to ask the follow-up question; she wasn't quite reading his mind… more like his emotions. "Severus," she said whirling on him, "he asked me to marry him. He gave me a ring – a permanent portkey from my room to his study. Do you understand what that means? He was in my room at Hogwarts, the safest place in Britain, or so we thought. It was either him or one of his agents. Surely you would have told me if you were asked to create such a portkey."

Severus paled. Asked her to marry? Gave her a portkey? "You must ward your room at once and tell no one your pass-phrases, not even me. Do you understand me, Ginny?" She nodded in response. He cleared his throat. "Did you say yes to his proposal?"

"What else was I supposed to do? Tell him that I was his faithful servant, his Queen, but that I would not make our union official? Right… then I would be dead… but perhaps you would prefer it that way!" she said spinning on her heel. She stormed off in the direction of Hogwarts, she could feel Severus recoil mentally in hurt and then anger.

Severus quickly closed the gap between them and grabbed her by the arm, spinning her around to face him. "Don't you ever say that to me! You have no idea…" the anger drained from his face as he regained his composure. "If you require assistance warding your room, please let me know Ms. Weasley. Otherwise, I'll see you when you finish your essays."

Even after sleep, Ginny couldn't concentrate on warding her room, and, due to the curse of the DADA position, she had never really had the Defense teachers that she should have. She hated to admit it, but she needed Snape's help – or at least his inspiration – but damn if she was going to ask for it.

It took her the better part of three days to finish the fourteen assigned essays. She had finally given up and written the last three just to write them; they weren't up to Snape's standards, but they were complete at least. She marched triumphantly into his office on the third day and slammed the thick stack of parchment onto his desk. "Finished!"

"Very good, Ms. Weasley. You may rejoin me in my classroom beginning tomorrow." She nodded in response, then turned to exit. "Ginerva?" Snape called timidly.

"Yes, Severus?" she replied, feeling warmth spread through her body. It was amazing how good Severus using her first name made her feel.

"I've thought seriously about what you said... how you only give someone one chance… and I was thinking… if I haven'tmessed up too badly, maybe you would like an explanation for my recent actions."

"I would very much like an explanation."

"Will you meet me in my chambers after dinner, then?"

"I can't. Voldemort expects me after dinner."

"After that then."

"See you soon, Severus," she said, placing a kiss on his cheek, before exiting. He tensed with the kiss, then let out a barely audible sigh as she left the room. I'm bloody addicted, he thought with a sigh

Ginny ate dinner quickly, rushing to her rooms afterward. The quicker she met with Voldemort, the sooner she would be free to see Severus. Once safely in her room, she turned the ring. The familiar feeling of a hook in her navel pulling her toward her destination made the world around her lurch. She was happy to have her feet back on the ground, even if it were in Voldemort's study.

"Are you ready to begin?" Voldemort asked as soon as she appeared.

"Right down to business, huh, dear? If I didn't know any better, I'd say that you were only interested in me for my power," she replied teasingly.

"I'm not only interested in you for your power. I'm interested in you because you are beautiful, intelligent, talented, and innocent… yet you still manage to have this enticingly twisted dark side that sends shivers down my spine," Voldemort replied. He kissed her passionately to make his point. "Now, dear, are you ready to begin?"

She sighed and nodded in response. He led her down the now familiar stairs to the backyard of the Riddle house. In the yard, several human-shaped scarecrows were crudely shaped into targets. A barrier of magical protection was cast around the back yard – no one could see them or detect the magic being done within. Voldemort lined her up with one of the targets. "Alright, show me."

She sighed, raised her wand, and spoke the phrase. "nn Hna Ska." She frowned in frustration as nothing happened.

"That was Egyptian," he said with a sigh. "Just when I thought you could say the incantation in Parseltongue…"

"Damn it! Do you have any idea how difficult this is? First, I'm learning a spell in two different languages that I don't actually speak, and you won't even tell me what it's supposed to do, so I have no way of focusing on making its effect happen."

He frowned; her outburstcoming from any otherDeath Eater would have meant instant death. He felt as if he were going soft."Fine, love. The spell you are learning is a shortened and instantaneous form of the Parseltongue spell you saw me perform during the… sacrifice. The literal translation of the Egyptian is 'Not With Soul'. If the target is dead it should explode with the force of the spell, with a living target, they should begin to wither and die immediately."

"And on an undead or resurrected target?"

"It depends on how tightly their soul has been knit to their corporeal form. Why?"

"I was just wondering if it was effective on vampires and inferi."

"I would expect it would be quite effective on vampires, but not on inferi, as they are basically puppets."

"So… why am I learning the spell in Parseltongue?"

"An experiment of mine," he said softly. "If you can't learn it in Parseltongue, then you should stillbe able to cast it in Ancient Egyptian. We'll make the decision which one you are to usesoon. Try it again."

Ginny sighed and raised her wand once more. She closed her eyes and began to concentrate on the one and only time she had been able to speak Parseltongue – her first year at Hogwarts. She remembered how it sounded, how the words formed on her lips, the way her throat felt. She inhaled deeply, and spoke, "nn Hna Ska." It sounded no different to her ears, but it felt different.

The wind died down, time seemed to stop, and the world seemed to fold in on itself. She could feel energy building around her body; it was so oppressive it was hard to breathe. She opened her eyes and with a flick of her wand sent the spell at the awaiting target. The blood red light that left her wand seemed to be traveling in slow motion, and when it contacted its destination the world around her rushed into the present. There was a giant sucking sound as the air pressure returned to its normal state; the straw target exploded in a brilliant flash of blood red light. As each piece fell to the ground the light swept across it like lightening attempting to remove the non-existant soul from the body. She shook with the intensity of the power she had gathered and reveled in the ecstasy she felt in its release.

"That was…"

"Amazing," Voldemort finished for her. "You will continue to practice, until you can use this spell nonverbally. Your enemy will have no chance," he said with an evil smile. "Merlin, you are sexy standing there, body emanating power, eyes cloudy with ecstasy," he rounded on her, kissing her neck, hands roaming her body.

Ginny shuddered in revulsion involuntarily. She hoped it was interpreted as desire. "Tom, I think I need to rest," she said softly.

He pulled away reluctantly, "Of course you do. Go back to Hogwarts, love. I'll see you tomorrow night. Excellent work."

She flashed him a weak smile and turned the ring on her finger. Back in Hogwarts she was barely able to pocket the ring before the waves of nausea hit her. Miraculously, she made her way to the toilet before emptying the entire contents of her stomach. Rising to wash her face she caught her reflection in the mirror; her eyes had dark circles under them, and her skin was paler than ever.

"You look like death warmed over," replied the mirror pitifully.

"I feel worse," she said frowning. She wanted nothing more than to lie down and go to sleep, but she had promised to meet Severus. She nearly drug her feet to his door and knocked lightly. The door opened shortly after.

"What the hell did he do to you?" Snape asked his voice full of concern.

"Nothing," she replied, crossing the room and sitting in a chair. "He's teaching me a spell, that's all."

Severus frowned. "Dark magic, no doubt," he disappeared into his private workroom and returned seconds later. "Here, take this."

"What is it?" she asked meekly, taking the vial from his hanf.

"You tell me."

"Ugh… this is not the time for a lesson," she uncorked the vial and inhaled its scent. "Pepper up," she said softly. "Thanks." She drank it.

"And some chocolate," he said offering her a piece. She took it and chewed timidly. "It must have been very powerful magic he was having you do."

She nodded meekly, but offered no response. Severus didn't press the issue, he knew there were some things about service to Voldemort that were better left to oneself.

"Are you up to hearing my explanation?"

"Of course."

Severus sat in the chair his head in his hands. "It's hard for me to say I'm sorry," he said softly. "So please, accept this as the best apology I can muster."

She nodded, afraid to speak. He sounded so forlorn, like at any moment his spirit could break. What could I have done that caused him to feel this way?

"I… I have only ever been interested in two women before you Ginny – correction one girl, one woman," he said with a half chuckle. "You know that my years at Hogwarts weren't easy. I was the object of ridicule for Potter and Company and through out it all there was only one person that would stand up for me – Lily Evans. I nursed quite an infatuation for her for the first two years I was a student here. But eventually, I gave up, it wasn't meant for her to pay any romantic attention to Snivellus Snape. It wasn't much more than a misplaced schoolboy crush."

"In my third year, I found myself totally alone. Lucius – who I used to spend time with – had left Hogwarts, so I felt as if Ihad no one. That year, our Potions teacher decided that we would work with lab partners. Slytherin had class with Ravenclaw, and as there was an odd number in both houses, I got stuck working with a Ravenclaw girl, Roselyn Majors."

"I can imagine that she wasn't happy, having to work with a Slytherin."

"Neither was I. She was magnificent witch when it came to wand waving – top in our class in Transfiguration and Charms, but abysmal when it came to potions. I think she's second only to Longbottom for the number of cauldrons she caused to meet an untimely end," he smiled at the memory, and Ginny felt her heart go cold. He was smiling and not because of her… Was she jealous? She shook the feeling away as he continued his story. "We had a tenuous partnership at first, but slowly it developed into friendship, and then… eventually more. I began to notice how beautiful she was - long, black hair, gorgeous azure eyes, and the reddest cherry lips – and so brilliant and powerful."

"She reminds me of a Muggle song," Ginny said softly.

"What's that?"

"Raven hair and ruby lips
Sparks fly from her fingertips
Echoed voices in the night
She's a restless spirit on an endless flight" she quoted.

"Sounds exactly like Roselyn," he said with a forced smile.

"Well, what happened?"

"By my fifth year I was head over heels in love, and so was she. At the end of seventh year, we were engaged."

"You were married?"

"No… we never got that far."

"What happened?"

"I'm getting there… you mustn't tell anyone about what I am going to tell you… only one other person knows the entire story." Ginny nodded in agreement. "I took the Dark Mark that year, without Roselyn's knowledge. I was enticed by Voldemort's offer of power, knowledge, and most of all respect. Roselyn would have left me the instant she found out… perhaps it would have been better if she had. Voldemort asked me to return to Hogwarts, in the Defense Against the Dark Arts position; in that position, I would recruit new Death Eaters, and spy on Dumbledore. At first, I refused… I wanted to be an apothecary, not a teacher; besides, I had already begun to see what a mistake going to the Dark Lord had been. Lucius spoke of Voldemort's greatness, but I saw him for the monster he really was. I hid my feelings well, though, and was allowed to live, but I wanted no part of bringing him more followers. Lucius knew of my plans to marry, and revealed them to the Dark Lord. Voldemort dispatched a group of Death Eaters to Roselyn's home… I arrived at the house later than I expected after finishing my work for my apprenticeship. I knew even before I entered that she was gone, not because of the Dark Mark floating over her house, but because I couldn't feel her anymore. I could always sense when she was near…" tears shone in his eyes, but he fought them back. "I only found out later, that she was pregnant. Not only had Voldemort taken the only person who ever loved me, but he had taken my future. I returned to his service, but could only stand to bow to him for so long. I came to Dumbledore and confessed the truth – about my service to Voldemort, his role in Roselyn's death, about my grief… the rest is history."

She sat silently for a moment, before venturing to ask a question. "What does that have to do with your recent behavior?"

"I lost the woman I loved to Voldemort… I don't think I could stand to lose you too."

"Well… that explains a lot," she said after a moment.

"Do you accept my apology?"

"How could I not? It's no wonder you… react the way you do when you think I'm in danger. Severus… you can't go around shielding your heart from love, just because you are afraid of losing someone to death. It's not… good for you or the other people in your life."

"I realize that now."

"It's late and I'm ready for bed…"

"Goodnight, Ginny."

"Goodnight, Severus." Severus stared as the door shut behind Ginny. By the gods, I'm not addicted, I'm in love, he thought.

A/N: Wow, I think that's the longest chapter so far. The "Muggle" song in this chapter is the first verse from Witchy Woman by The Eagles. Thanks once again to all of my wonderful reviewers.

Serena – Severus is in for the happiest time in his life, soon. Hopefully, it will last… we'll see… ;o)

Starchik21789 – Thanks for your kind words, and I'm glad you are enjoying it!

Okay everyone, I hate to tell you all this, but even though this chapter gives you hope for our wonderful couple, the next few chapters will be bleak… not in the romance department, but in other areas. These next chapters are also going to be the hardest for me to write, so it might take a while, but I promise to update soon!