Juuban High - Day 13

Story by: Elise Haskell and Carrie Rose

Written by: Carrie Rose

Edited by: Elise Haskell

Another day, another battle with insanity... it never changes. I am clinging to my sanity by a thin thread. That thread is about to break.

The new principal came waltzing into school today, licking a knife and saying things that just didn't fit with what was happening with the rest of the school. What was going on was another fight, only between Ranma and Trunks. I haven't figured out why yet, but Trunks was ready to kill the son of a bitch. Maybe I'll ask him later. Anyway, so Trunks had his sword out and was violently slashing the air in front of Ranma. He was really trying to hit Ranma, but Ranma kept dodging. Everyone was crowded around, enjoying the little fight when the principal walked by, "I wonder what my dress size is. I want that little blue number I saw in Le Chateau yesterday."

Everyone stopped and looked at the principal in fear/shock. "What?" He said simply, and kept walking.

We all shrugged and went back to watching the fight. Did I mention that Trunks looked really sexy in his black tank top and his Capsule Corps jacket? No? Well, he does. *_* Right, um, anyway...

Trunks took this opportunity to strike, and sliced Ranma down his arm. "YOU QUAD-FUCKER!!"

Trunks shrugged. "Sorry. You shoulda moved."

"To the office!" Ranma shouted.

"...Okay." Trunks said reluctantly and headed off to the office, all the girls staring at him as he walked by. I pulled out a mallet and whacked them all with it. I knew that would come in handy today. I threw the mallet in my locker (okay so I can't pull it out of my battle aura OR out of hammerspace, so sue me!)

"DUDE! How did you do that?" Elise suddenly asked me.

I shrugged, "I kept it in my jacket?"

"No man, you pulled it out of somewhere!" Elise tried and pulled out... a condom?!

"WHAT?!"

"Whoa, that's NOT what I needed..." Elise threw the condom out and sweat dropped.

We went to first period, and sat down. Elise glowed and pulled out a pencil. "MWA HAHA! Getting closer! I mean it's a sharp object at least, right?"

"But you want a MALLET, not a sharp object. You don't want to pull something out that will poke the offending person's eye out - you want to whack them over the head with a very blunt object."

She tried again and pulled out a flower. "I'll give this to Heero!" She said, a mischievous gleam in her eye.

I sweat dropped.

"Oh Heero, I have something for you," she said in a singsong voice.

Heero looked up. "A... Flower?"

"Yes!" Elise smiled and put it on his desk. Relena jumped up, "no Heero, I have something even better!" With that, she gave him an invitation to her birthday party. He smiled at her and tore it up. "Oh, Heero!"

"Relena."

"Heero."

"Relena."

This went on for the whole period. Why the hell do they do that?! I will never know.

On the way to Drama, I stopped by the office, where my Trunks was sitting in the office. "They're gonna call my mom, she's gonna kill me." He said with a sigh.

I hugged him, "it won't be too bad, and maybe she'll let you off easy."

"I doubt it," he sighed again.

I kissed his cheek, "it won't be as bad as you think, but I gotta get to drama, see you at lunch!"

I went into drama, where Duo was sitting in the chair, sleeping. Youji couldn't resist and pulled the back of the chair, sending Duo flat on his ass. "What the? Hilde?!"

Elise glared in his direction when he mentioned She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named-Because-Elise-Kills-Whoever-Says-That-Horrible-Vile-Vulgar-Word.

"Oh, right, class! Heh…" Duo put his hand behind his head and started doing something that he never did before: teach.

"So, you sit down on a chair and we blindfold you and it will teach you to trust your students or something." Okay, so maybe he didn't teach, but hey, he tried. He just didn't do a good job. Stupid bastard.

We spent the whole period talking, or in Youji's case, thinking of creative ways to kill Duo with his string.

"I could hang him from those bars on the ceiling, I could cut his arms off with the string and then stick one down his throat and one up his ass..."

"Could we be just a little less graphic? Or do you want to go to the office again for death threats?" Elise said.

"Good point," and Youji promptly shut up.

The bell rang not a moment too soon and we left the drama studio in a hurry and entered the caf.

For the first time in a while, Elise and I were buying our lunches (and out of compassion, I had given the lunch I brought to Goku, who was sitting in the middle of the floor trying not to eat all the tables again.)

I walked into the caf and slowly went and asked for fries.

"YOU ARE AN ENEMY AREN'T YOU? TREIZE! WHERE IS TREIZE!? DO YOU WANT MORE ROSE PETALS IN YOUR BUBBLE BATH?!"

I sweat dropped, and suddenly she started talking quietly. "I'm sorry dear, did you want fries?" She handed me a box of fries and smiled sweetly.

And look, there goes my sanity. I got back to our usual table and Relena, Heero, Ravi, and Quatre were sitting there.

"Would you like more tea, Master Quatre?"

"Yes, that would be great," Quatre smiled.

"Heero."

"Relena."

"WILL ALL OF YOU JUST SHUT UP ALREADY?! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!!" I snapped and left the lunchroom, Youji, Elise, and Trunks hot on my heels.

"You okay?"

"Yes, just fine," I said and sat down in front of Youji's locker.

"She's just under stress." Trunks said.

"That's not stress, she's always like this." Elise said.

"Shut up."

Everyone shut up and ate their lunches in peace.

"OHOHOHOHOHO!!!"

Elise and I looked at each other, paling. "Kodachi?!" The hall became cluttered with black roses and she gracefully jumped through the halls with her ribbon, looking for Ranma. She also had a plate of cookies in her other hand.

"This just gets weirder and weirder," Elise remarked.

A blur of red and black ran by us, followed by a streak of black rose petals.

"Ranma running in fear from the psycho?" Youji asked.

We nodded.

"OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!" Echoed through the hallways. Creepy.

The bell rang and we went to Science, or attempted to. There was no science wing. They still hadn't gotten around to rebuilding the dumb thing, so Elise and I went to our other favourite hangout - the office. Elise went right into the principals' office and started talking to the principal about hacking, being crazy, and the art of licking knives.

I sat down and did what I always did, talked to sweet, cute little Ryoga.

Suddenly, Kuno laid eyes on Elise. "AH! A beautiful red and brown haired goddess! How have I lived without the pleasure of you in my life?"

"What the fuck?"

"Goddess! My love! Come to me, beauty! I, Tatewaki Kuno, Upperclassman, also known as Blue Thunder, will provide you with happiness! Our life of joy will begin!"

"Shut up." Elise grabbed Aoi's knife and started to beat Kuno to a bloody pulp.

"Oh, she does love me! I have never felt so happy in my life!"

"SHUT UP!" Elise kicked him in the head, rendering him unconscious.

The bell rang and Elise and I ran off, knowing that our next period was Math.

"You're late, insolent humans."

"Sorry Veggie-Chan, we were in the office!"

Vegeta didn't respond, so we took that as a "it's alright, don't let it happen again." I think Vegeta likes us. ^_^

There was a tree in the front of the room that Vegeta was taking kicks and punches at. We watched, mildly interested in why he was sparring with a tree, and suddenly he shrieked.

"OW! KAKAROTTO, IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" That's when we noticed the big picture of Goku's head pasted on the tree. He blasted it with a Big bang Attack, and the tree... well, there was nothing left of the tree when he was finished. He smiled appreciatory and sat down.

"What are you weak humans staring at? Get to work!" He scowled at us all and took his normal, royal position.

No one disobeyed him after that.

The bell rang and we all went home, me trying to convince Trunks that his mom wasn't as mad as he thought she was, and Elise and Youji talking about how to kill Duo slowly and painfully. Things never change, huh?