Disclaimer: Still don't own LOTR... or Annie... or Titanic... or anything, really, except the Almighty Marsupial Queen (you CAN'T TAKE THAT NAME!) my characters and the manner in which they destroy, fiber by fiber, the plot. And again, Liana has an extremely foul mouth.

In the morning, I was the first one awake. Stimpy was curled up at my side, purring in his sleep. (Aww, he DOES love me!) I decided to pass the time by digging around in my messenger bag.

"Hmm... what kinds of stuff does the Almighty Marsupial Queen have in her messenger bag?" I wondered aloud. I gasped as I pulled out my script for Annie from my middle school. Rodney and I were both in it. I was playing Grace, and he was Rooster. I shook Rodney awake. "Wake up, He-Who-Smells-Of-Fish."

"I do NOT smell like fish!" he snapped, waking up. I laughed at him and held up the script.

"I've found the Script of Highlighters and Time-Killing!" I exclaimed happily. "If we get back before March, if they haven't replaced us, we can still do the show! Well actually, my role is double-casted, so it's no big deal because Kristin is awesome but they'll need a new Roos-"

"And you woke me up for no other reason than the fact you found the script?" he asked incredulously.

"Yep!"

"You suck, Liana... who is this John person?"

"Well, you know I moved into our school in the middle of sixth grade, right?"

"Yeah. The only time middle school was peaceful was sixth grade, before Christmas break."

"I came during Christmas break!"

"My point exactly."

"EVIL. Well anyway, John's from my old school, and so is Lissa. Can you believe Raina and Jen are here?"

"Yeah, what is it with people from our school? And your old one?"

"Weird, eh?"

"Yeah. All people who know you, but not necessarily each other."

"Because I am, in the words of Saria, so FUCKING important. And now for something completely different. Did you ever finish that story, with the dude whose name is just a line () and he's waking up, and the fire, or whatever?" Rodney had written about six pages of a story after yours truly inspired him with a story I started writing. Bwahahahahahahaha. Fear me.

"Eh, no. I haven't really thought of a plot."

"And that, my fish-like friend, is what we call writer's block. Fear it."

"Vox."

(Rodney calls Antony and I "Vox" because we call him Fish, and neither of us know what the hell it means.)

"WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN, DAMMIT?"

"SHUDDUP, LIANA! I WANNA SLEEP!" yelled Amelia.

"Can NOBODY get ANY rest with you all around?" demanded Stimpy, standing up and stretching.

"Valar! Are you always so loud in the morning?" asked Haldir.

"You have no idea," Legolas replied in a "woe-is-me" voice. I decided to say something completely random.

"I've decided I don't have friends anymore," I said importantly.

"What?" demanded... well, basically everyone.

"I have 'lovelies.'"

"What?"

I grinned rather insanely. "It's just another word for 'friends.'" I love being eccentric. The odd looks you get are rewards in themselves.

"Liana, you've changed since fourth grade," said John, shaking his head.

"Of course! Then, I was but a weak, nine-year-old outcast, struggling to conform. Now, I am a strong, thirteen-year-old outcast, happy to be so." (Truth.) "Thou art smileyer than thou art remembered, my Perpetually Grinning Friend."

John is, like, always smiling.

"You're not an outcast!" said Saria, Antony and Amelia at the same time.

"I beg to differ," muttered Rodney and Stimpy under their breaths.

"So, guys, how's life been?" I asked John and Brendon.

"Eh... we were pretty much adopted in with the elves," shrugged John.

"First, we had to all become friends, because Raina, Jen and I didn't know John, Lissa and Hobbit," added Brendon. "Then, we had to get used to the fact that Hobbit could talk."

"Anuddor talkin' cat?" asked Molly, interested.

"Yup."

We met up with the rest of the Fellowship. Over the course of the day, as we trudged endlessly through the woods, I became steadily less peppy-happy. I wondered why. Was today special, or was I just insane?

Probably the latter, everyone would say. I grinned at the thought, then tripped over a stray root and twisted my ankle.

"FUUUUUUUUUUCK!" I screeched. Okay, peppy-happiness gone. "OW, SHIT, OW, FUCK, OW, PAIN, OW, SUFFERING-"

"Are you okay?" asked pretty much everyone.

"NO, I AM NOT OKAY! I JUST TWISTED MY FUCKING ANKLE AND IT HURTS LIKE HELL AND OW! AND OH GOD! I JUST REALIZED THAT HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE CAME OUT WHILE WE WERE HERE!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Antony, Saria, Stimpy, Molly, myself and Rodney at the same time.

I nearly started sobbing, but instead opted for a scream of pain and frustration. I mean, god! My ankle hurt. Legolas knelt next to me and put his hand on my forehead. I shoved it away.

"NO, I DON'T HAVE A FEVER, YOU FOOLISH BLOND-ELF-PERSON!"

"Be quiet, little minx!"

The pain dulled a little. "Yay for Legolas and his girly healing powers!"

"Hey, Liana," said Rodney randomly, "remember when were babysitting at the temple and your mom sprained her ankle? And then you started running around like you were retarded?"

"Shut up, Rodney."

So, we made it into Lorien (what the hell is the difference between Lorien and Lothlorien? I mean, really...) without any further injuries. I was limping along between Merry and Pippin, my arms around their shoulders (they were helping me walk, you pervert, because no one felt like carrying me). When we got to the stairs (after Haldir made his boring-boring-boring lecture about Galadriel and Celeborn, and who-not-but-I-don't-care), however, I found it quite impossible to walk up the stairs.

"Leggy-Lu-Lu, I can't walk up the stairs," I sniffed, putting on a show of course, as I wasn't really near tears. I was, however, unable to get up those damned stairs.

"Aragorn, it's your turn to carry her," said Legolas. I felt like kicking him. Which I did.

And that was how I came to be carried up the giant tree by Pete, A.K.A., B.O. Man, A.K.A., Stink King. Hey, cool. StinKing. Haha. It could be "Stinking" or "Stink King." See how smart I am?...Okay, shut up.

"Hey, Petey, where are we going?"

"To see the Lady Galadriel."

"Why?"

"Because we must."

"Why?"

"Because we have entered the wood."

"Why?"

"Liana, you must stop."

"Why?"

He stopped talking to me then, instead opting for yammering away in Elvish with Legolas.

At long last, we were at the platform dealie thingamabob, or another talan, or what the hell ever it was. And then, presenting the creepy royalty witch elf people, Celeborn and Galadriel. I fidgeted uncomfortably.

"Fifteen there are here, yet sixteen there were set out from Rivendell," said Celeborn in a holier-than-thou voice. "Tell me, where is Gandalf, for I much desire to speak with him?"

Merry's shoulders drooped and Pippin hung his head. Antony looked depressed, and Saria, Amelia, Rodney, Molly, Stimpy and I exchanged knowing glances.

"Gandalf the Grey did not pass the borders of this land," said Galadriel in this annoying Mistress-of-Mystery voice. "He has fallen into shadow." She looked at Aragorn. "The Quest stands upon the edge of a knife..."

"So that's what this platform is," I muttered mainly to myself, but Merry elbowed me.

"...Stray but a little and and it will fail, to the ruin of all. Yet hope remains while the company is true."

Shit... shit... shit... she was looking around at us... shit... don't talk to me inside my head... shit... shit...

You are not from these parts, little one.

SHIT!

Uh, no, My Lady, I said meekly. My friends and I are from Long Island.

You are all aware of what will come to pass, I gather.

Most of us... Antony isn't really, we just fill him in as we go.

I see. And are you worried, child?

Yeah. No hesitation there. I'm worried that I'll screw the whole thing up. Rodney already warned me against talking about it too loudly but–

Be careful, little one. Ugh. Little one. Rodney is correct. Huh. That's a first.

I'm also worried that my friend Amelia will want to go with– uhh, never mind.

She seemed to understand why I couldn't talk about Amelia going with Frodo and Sam to Mordor, and pressed on gently.

That is not all that is worrying you, little one.

That's just it, I said rather moodily. I'm tiny! I'm about two feet tall, no joke. Maybe a couple of inches over. I feel so helpless!

Fear not, young Liana, she said, and withdrew from my mind. Phew!

After Boromir started crying, Merry stared at his feet, Rodney quailed and Amelia shifted uncomfortably under Galadriel's unwavering gaze, she started talking again.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Go now and rest, for you are weary with sorrow and much toil." Her eyes rested on John and Brendon. "I believe, young ones, that your friends would like to see the young ladies who arrived with you."

"Yes, My Lady," said Brendon.

There was debate about who got to carry the annoying hobbit who had her ankle sprained, and then Boromir was stuck doing it, walking down the stairs.

"So, John," I said, able to look at him because he was walking behind Boromir. "What exactly are you? I see Stalker here is an elf-"

"MONKEY DUDE, DAMMIT!"

"Stuff it, STALKER!"

"I'm a sort of wizard-ish person... at least, I can become a wizard." John suddenly looked very proud of himself. Then he deflated. "I suck at spells, though."

"He turned Hobbit's fur neon blue," said Brendon in an undertone.

"Shut up, STALKER."

Brendon looked like he wanted to kill someone. Anyway, we got to the apartment-like thing in the open air, and John and Brendon barged in.

"HEY, GUYS!" said John loudly.

"Hey, guys," replied four voices. Three were very familiar.

"We've got company," said Brendon. "Come on in, guys."

Rodney, Amelia, Antony, Saria, Stimpy, Molly and myself came in. The reaction was loud.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!" screamed everyone. There was then a hugfest, more screaming, and unintelligible phrases were screeched.

"JEN, RAINA, LISSA, OH MY GOD!"

People were introduced, cats were introduced, and then our story was shared.

"And then that fucking octopus - remember the octopus? Yeah, it got me and Frodo."

"And Merry and Pippin ate a bunch of Reese's."

"YOU ACTUALLY WENT WITH THE FELLOWSHIP, I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE IT!"

"AND YOU PLAYED WHOSE LINE IN RIVENDELL!"

"And now it's time for bed," said Aragorn, poking his head in.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAWWWW," whined everyone. He shook his head.

"No, I mean it. Everyone who is in the Fellowship must follow me."

Grumbling, I picked up Stimpy and dumped him into my messenger bag. As I went to hug Raina, I realized something. Before we were tossed into Middle Earth/Heaven/Hell, she had been a rather small person. Now, I had to crane my neck all the way up to look her in the eyes.

"HA! I'M FINALLY TALL!" she exclaimed. "I'm an elf. HA! And you're a hobbit! DOUBLE HA!"

"Shut up, meanie," I said.

"I don't want you guys to go! We just met up!" exclaimed Jen.

"Well, we'll talk more when we get on our way again," said Amelia. Aragorn looked at her.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, on our way to - to Mordor, we can talk. Right?"

"Do you mean to say they're coming with us?"

Every single person and cat in the apartment-like thing nodded except Aragorn. He sighed. "I'm afraid not."

"WHAT?" boomed everyone.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?"

"THEY'RE OUR FRIENDS!"

"WE WANT TO COME!"

"WE MISSED EACH OTHER!"

"THESE PEOPLE ROCK!"

"WE WANT THEM TO COME!"

"WHYYYYYYYYYYYY?" everyone whined at the same time. We begged. We pleaded. We went down on our knees and sobbed. But Pete was firm, and several very angry people went to bed that night.

Next morning, we got gifts. Yay! Gifts! Woohoo! (Starts singing "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" and gets kicked) OW! Okay, okay, I'm good, I'm back.

"For you, Rodney of Long Island, a quiver, enchanted by John."

"I can do some things right,"said John importantly. Galadriel smiled at him, and handed Rodney the quiver.

"It will never run out of arrows." Rodney looked ecstatic.

"Thank you, My Lady!"

Next was Amelia. "For Amelia of Long Island, the belt of Nimrodel." (I SAY THERE'S A BELT OF NIMRODEL, SO THERE'S A BELT OF NIMRODEL!) "She sings yet in battle."

"Thank you, My Lady." The belt was blue with a white stone in the middle. It was pretty. Amelia put it on, and strung her bow and sword through it. Of course, she never used the sword, but whatever.

"And for you, Saria of Long Island, a longsword worthy of your skill. I have seen you fence in the Mirror."

"Wow, thank you, My Lady!" The sword was pretty, too. It was the blade was black, with a silver hilt and black pommel.

Antony's gift was a battle helmet, which was iron encrusted with rubies (it was really cool), and Stimpy and Molly both got necklaces that told them when Saria and I were in trouble. Stimpy's, obviously, glowed when I was, and Molly's was when Saria was. Then, it was my turn.

"To you, young Liana of Long Island, we give one of the daggers of King Thranduil, the father of young Prince Legolas. These are of the finest craft, and may surprise you from time to time."

I had no time to ask what she meant, because it was time to leave, so I just said, "Thank you so much, Lady Galadriel."

She smiled and bent down (way, way down) to kiss my head. "As I told Frodo, even the smallest person can do great things. I have not forgotten what you told me."

I smiled gratefully. She was creepy and all, but she was nice.

"I'm going to miss you guys," I said, hugging Jen goodbye.

"We're going to miss you too," said John as I moved on to him.

"It was nice seeing you again," said Lissa when I got to her.

"It was," I said, walking to Brandon and hugging him, too. I hugged Hobbit next.

"Bye, Liana," the cat said.

"Hey, where's Raina?" I asked, looking around. Raina, who was still smug about being over a foot taller than me, was not there.

"She said there was something she had to do, we'll tell her you said goodbye," said Jen. I got into the boat with Saria, Rodney, and Legolas. Amelia was with Frodo, Sam, and Aragorn, and Antony with Gimli, Boromir, Merry, and Pippin.

We waved as we left, and I was sad. I had just found my friends, and now I was leaving them. Well, that was what I thought before Raina jumped up from the floor of the boat, after we had left the sight of the elves who were seeing us off.

"HI!" she screeched, and I jumped a foot into the air and toppled off the boat.

CLIFFIE FROM HELL! I WANT EIGHT REVIEWS!