Clever ones, aren't we? Yes, "peine" means "grief" in French. Good guesses.

So, as far as fanfiction goes, here are the stats (as of 2/13/05): A Hogwarts Tale, ch. 7, is almost done. Hopefully, it'll be up some time next week. Five chapters of Au Pair are written, but there will be more! Also, I'm thinking of writing a HP fic based on Lovely Bones. Let me know what you think.

Disclaimer: Humor me.

-

Harry awoke very early the next morning. He yawned, sat up and stretched, and nearly had a seizure when he realized his ceiling had disappeared. It did not take long for him to realize he had accidentally performed magic.

"Oh damn!" He muttered. Harry reached for his wand before he realized he could do nothing to fix it. He was not allowed to do magic outside of school. With another jolt of panic, Harry realized the Dursleys' housekeeper was probably sleeping in the bed above him right now. If she discovered what he was, the Dursleys would never forgive him.

Harry grabbed a spare piece of parchment and a quill and scribbled a note to his best friend.

Ron

Seems like I've accidentally done magic. I'm back in the cupboard, and when I woke up this morning, my ceiling was gone. Normally, I wouldn't worry, but the Dursleys have a guest over and, well, let's just say, "hell hath no fury like a pregnant woman scorned!"

Reckon your dad can Apperate over here and help? Quickly, please!

Harry

He tied the note to his owl, Hedwig, and muttered, "Please be quick, girl." Hedwig gave him a reassuring hoot and took off through the open window.

Almost ten minutes later, Harry was greeted by a loud crack. A balding red-haired man in wizard's robes appeared out of nowhere.

"Harry! I've heard you're in a spot of trouble?" Mr. Weasley asked him, concerned. In response, Harry pointed to the ceiling. It was still seemingly non-existent. Thankfully, however, Ms. Tabitha Royce had apparently not yet woken.

"Goodness, Harry!" Mr. Weasley exclaimed. "You did this in your sleep! What on earth made you so upset that…" He stopped himself in mid sentence. A haunted look appeared on Harry's face.

"Well, I…er…" Mr. Weasley muttered distractedly. He then pulled out his wand and tapped the air above them. A raping noise filled the room. The ceiling seemed solid enough.

"Hmm. That's interesting (A/N: I LOVE YOU JACK SPARROW!). Mr. Weasley said thoughtfully.

"What is?"

"Your ceiling isn't gone. It's been Disillusioned."

"What?" Harry exclaimed, surprised. "I couldn't have done that without a wand, much less in my sleep."

Mr. Weasley did not speak immediately. He waved his wand and the ceiling turned back to normal.

"Well, you should be alright now. Owl me if you need anything, Harry." He smiled and, with another loud crack, Disapperated from the cupboard.

With one last glance at the ceiling, Harry left his room and walked toward the Dursleys' spotless kitchen. He decided he would make breakfast for them before they awoke. It was one of his usual chores.

Harry was, once again, very surprised as he walked inside. Tabitha Royce was already cooking over the stove. Delicious aromas of bacon and fried eggs filled his nose.

"Oh, hello." Royce greeted him with a small smile.

"Morning." Harry nodded. He braced himself for Royce to mention her lack of floor this morning.

"Harry, isn't it? Harry Potter?" Royce questioned him.

"Yes, that's my name." Harry waited still. Surely, she must have noticed something unusual when she woke up?

"Breakfast is almost ready, Harry Potter. You wouldn't mind setting the table, eh?" Royce chatted breezily.

"No." Harry took several plates out of the cabinet and placed them on the table. He was no longer worried. If Royce had noticed the absence of a floor in her bedroom, Harry would have heard screams and the thumping of a suitcase being dragged out the front door. Following her departure, the Dursleys would have severely punished him, or sent him packing as well. No, Royce must have woken up very early and not noticed the floor in her exhausted state. Harry exhaled, relieved.

-

Lily had decided to make a good impression on the Dursleys. She woke up early, very sleepy, and started to make breakfast in the kitchen. When Harry entered, she tried to stay calm and made friendly conversation, even though what she really wanted to do was run over and hug him so tightly that he wouldn't be able to breathe.

She was startled to see how pale the boy looked. In a motherly frenzy, Lily racked her brains for possible ailments. Was Harry sick? Could he have a cold? Lily resisted the urge to carry him over to the couch, put a warm cloth on his forehead, and force-feed him a Pepper-Up Potion if necessary.

Maybe he's upset over something? Lily wondered. She inwardly slapped herself for her stupidity. You git! Of course he's upset over something! But maybe it's something else? Something besides Sirius? He looks a little panicky…

With a wave of shock, Lily remembered the charm she put on her floor the previous night. Oh no! She never took it off! She thought in a panic. Harry must have thought he'd done it by accident!

"If you'll excuse me for a minute, Harry. I have to go feed my parakeet." Lily lied smoothly. She dashed out of the kitchen and didn't stop runnning until she reached her room.

Lily was surprised and alarmed to find that the floor had returned to normal. Had Harry performed underage magic? Well, it wouldn't be the first time, she thought, annoyed with her son.

The thought of scolding him quickly disappeared. Lily almost laughed at the thought of it. How would she, a witch, feel if someone she believed to be a muggle suddenly started yelling at her for casting a spell illegally? Instead, Lily wrote a letter to Dumbledore.

Albus,

Last night I put a Disillusionment Charm on my floor. When I woke up, it was gone, but I didn't take it off. Do you know if it was Harry? Who else could have?

L.P. or

L.E. or currently

T.R.

(Whichever you prefer)

Lily gave the parchment to Peine and watched her fly away. When she walked back into the kitchen, she saw that Harry had put the bacon and eggs on separate plates. He was carrying them over to the table, looking much calmer.

"Is your bird okay?" Now that he was positive Royce hadn't noticed the floor, he was feeling much better, almost friendly, even. This woman seemed to have a very positive effect on him, one that he was curious to know more about.

"Yes, she'll be fine." Royce assured him.

"A parakeet is a very unusual pet." Harry commented pleasantly.

Royce smiled. "Oh, she's a beautiful creature. Very exotic."

"Where did you find her?"

"She was a gift from a friend." Royce said simply.

Harry reached into the cabinet to pull out five glasses. "Oh Harry, I'll get those. Don't worry, you sit down and start eating." Royce assured him.

Harry, relieved of his usual cooking duties, was unaccustomed to this new freedom. He took half a fried egg and the most burnt slice of bacon, his usual serving at Number Four.

Royce seemed to have noticed this. "Harry, please take more. You're a growing boy, you have to eat!" She looked concerned. Harry obliged and ate his breakfast quietly, marveling at how kind this Tabitha Royce seemed to be.

Not long after, the Dursleys stomped into the kitchen. Harry tensed. Petunia was most grouchy in the morning.

"Good morning." Royce greeted them. "I have breakfast on the table." She spoke crisply. Harry noticed it was not the same tone she used with him.

"Mum, I'm going to starve!" Dudley whined at the small mountain of crispy bacon and golden eggs set on the table.

Petunia glared at Harry's small portion of food. He knew what was coming.

"Boy! Just what is wrong with you! How dare you take so much food from us!" Petunia hollered. She was livid. "We've given you so much, you ungrateful creature, and how do you repay us? By coming back from that horrible school, moping around all month, skiving off chores and eating more than you're entitled to! Give the rest of that to Dudley NOW!"

Lily listened to her sister lecturing her son. It was unbearable to hear; yet Lily could not control her emotions. She was shaking with anger. How dare Petunia treat Harry this way? She was punishing him for eating normally for once in his life! For Merlin's sake!

To Lily's immense surprise, Harry remained calm. He was even smiling!

"Oh, sure Aunt Petunia. I'll give Dudley the rest of my breakfast." Harry replied sweetly. With that, he grabbed the contents of his plate and threw it in Dudley's face.

-

Hehe. The-Boy-Who-Lived seems to have turned into The-Boy-With-PMS. An interesting turn of events. But, surely you didn't think Harry would bottle up his anger, not after those interesting displays of emotion in OotP?

So, this week's trivia question: what does "Au Pair" mean?

C'mon! Review! You know you want to!

Happy V-Day! Spend it with someone you love (in my case, that significant other happens to be a box of Lindt truffles. Yum…)

LaRohaZeta