Arana's Tale - Chapter 12
By Kudara
Disclaimer: Star Trek Voyager and all who sail in her belong to Paramount/Viacom and no infringement of copyright/trade marks is intended.
Disclaimer: The Dungeons and Dragons Roleplaying System is owned by Wizards of the Coast and no infringement of copyright/trademarks is intended. The only thing I would like to lay claim to is the original D&D character used in this story.
Rating: (M +16).
Feedback: Always welcome, feedback is what encourages me to keep writing. Please let me know what you like and what you dislike about the story.
Revision History: 01/16/06
Summary: Seven is confused by her emotions, finds an unusual place when she regenerates. Arana and Seven discuss their feelings.
Seven nodded an absent acknowledgement to Ensign Harper as she passed the woman on the way to Cargo Bay 2. She just had enough time to regenerate before she needed to join Arana and the children in the Mess Hall for dinner, and her mind was still trying to process the events of the past several hours.
She entered the Cargo Bay, and glanced about, verifying that she was alone before relaxing the tight control she had been keeping, on the confusing mixture of emotions she was experiencing. She had attempted to analyze them, while Arana slept, but had quickly realized, when the half elven woman became agitated in her sleep that she could not while so physically close due to Arana's empathy.
Now with a greater distance between them, Seven hoped that Arana would remain unaware her emotional turmoil. She had felt anger before. But the anger she had experienced previously, such as her anger when the images brought up by the Doctor's regression therapy caused her to believe that the trader Kovin had taken some of her nanoprobes, or more recently her anger at Icheb's parents for using him as a weapon against the Borg, now seemed simplistic, when compared to the confusing mixture of emotions she was currently feeling.
Images of a helpless Arana as a child with Lord Druss, and more recently with the Lovitarians, made her feel physically nauseous, and violently angry. The pain filled sounds Arana had made when she last cried, stirred the same overwhelming sense of protective gentleness now as it had then. She could still hear Arana's voice telling her why she did not mind Seven's Borg hand touching her, and remembered the sensation of cupping Arana's face, her skin so soft and warm against her exoskeleton.
These memories stimulated yet another set of emotions within Seven: surprise, gratitude, tenderness…longing. Seven found herself wishing that she were still in Arana's quarters watching over the woman as she slept. So many emotions, even some she could not put a name to, and she was suffering from an odd aching feeling in her chest region in addition to them.
Seven had experienced intense emotions before, but never so many at one time, and only once before, when One died, had she experienced physical reactions to them, such as nausea, or the sensation of being flushed, then chilled in rapid succession. Seven knew now that she had been experiencing grief at that time, but why she was experiencing such feelings and sensations now she did not understand.
Attempting to identify the mixture of emotions swirling about inside her and their causes, she glanced up from the floor just in time to turn and avoid the canister she had almost walked into. Halting in surprise, she realized belatedly that she had been pacing.
For a moment Seven was overcome by a strong desire to change the past, and automatically her cortical node provided information about the various ways to cause a temporal anomaly. Seven dismissed the notion immediately, but she could not dismiss as easily the desire to have prevented Arana from being hurt, or, failing that, to have killed the Lovitarian priests instead of stunning them in retribution for their actions.
Before this week, she had thought that nothing could cause her to react in such a manner. A few months ago, she and Tuvok, had been kidnapped and forced to fight in the Tsunkatse arena. The last fight before her rescue had been what was called a 'Red Match', in which the fighters fought until one of them was killed.
Seven had come very close to killing the Hirogen male who had trained her in the Tsunkatse fighting style, as he had been her opponent for the Red Match. Fortunately, just as she was about to kill the Hirogen, Voyager had rescued her and Tuvok. Afterward she had thought that she had lost some of her hard won humanity during that time until Tuvok had assured her that the guilt and shame she was feeling over the necessary actions she had taken during their captivity proved that she had not lost anything.
Yet, here she was, wanting exactly the opposite, and she could not find it in herself to regret that desire. A memory of Arana telling her about her past came to Seven's mind. It had been one of the many conversations they had while Icheb and the children were regenerating. Arana had been trying to explain to Seven why she thought anger was capable of motivating one to do great good and great evil, and therefore one of the most dangerous emotions to for a person to lose control over.
Arana had spoken of the time she spent recovering from her treatment by Lord Druss at the Illmater hospice. "I dreamed of the revenge I would take upon men who had used me, of the pain I would return to them. One night I had a dream where I tortured one of them, and afterwards I looked into a mirror at my bloodied hands and into my own eyes and realized with horror that I had become as evil as they. I awoke screaming and trembling. I stared at my hands expecting them to be blood covered and began weeping when I saw they were not. That was my turning point, the start of my healing, when I recognized that my hatred and anger was hurting me, threatening to make me into one of them."
Seven knew that the emotions she was experiencing, and her desire to kill those who had hurt Arana, to make them suffer for their actions, were too uncomfortably like what Arana had described to her that day. Seven trusted Arana's judgment that this type of anger was damaging, but she did not know how one stopped feeling it.
She would prefer to discuss the matter with Arana, but Seven strongly suspected that if Arana realized she was feeling such intense negative emotions because of what she had shared with her, the half-elven woman would blame herself, and likely not tell her about such memories again, no matter how much they were disturbing her.
"Unacceptable," Seven stated aloud, startling herself with the vocalization of her thoughts. That was an outcome that Seven did not desire, she wanted the opportunity to assist Arana again, therefore she could not ask her about how to stop experiencing this type of anger.
Considering her remaining choices, Seven decided that only two other people aboard Voyager were suitable for such a discussion, Captain Janeway and Commander Tuvok. She had considered, but quickly dismissed, Commander Chakotay. For all of his publicly displayed spirituality, she did not recall him ever questioning his actions or motivations, even if later events proved him wrong. After further contemplating her two choices, Seven decided to discuss the matter with both. Each would likely give her different, but valid, approaches to the problem.
The sound of the door opening caught Seven's attention and she glanced over toward them in time to see Lt. Torres enter a PADD in hand and a slight frown upon her face.
A look of surprise crossed the woman's face and former drone guessed that she had not expected Seven to be here.
"Well, Lady Seven," Lt. Torres drawled as she shifted directions and headed toward Seven. "So," she continued in a suggestive tone when she halted almost precisely two meters in front of Seven, "What did you and Arana do today all alone together in her room?"
Before Seven realized fully what she was doing she found herself standing almost nose to nose with the half-Klingon, her desire to protect Arana overcoming her usual detached response to the Chief Engineer's needling.
"Lt. Torres, I understand that you and Lt. Paris feel you are justified in spreading gossip about me after my study of your relationship. Champion Arana, however, has done nothing to either of you to deserve such treatment. If you feel the need to 'get back at' me, find a subject to gossip about that does not involve her." Seven spat out in a coldly angry tone, then stepped back and eyed the other woman as if she were a piece of refuse someone had placed in her path.
If she had not been so furious, Seven would have found the engineers reaction to be extremely amusing. Lt. Torres had taken a half step backward as Seven had advanced upon her, and now regarded her jaw agape and silent, apparently completely stunned by Seven's reaction. Belatedly, reviewing her intense response to the engineers comment, Seven realized that the engineer had not expected such a reaction and that she had most likely just severely erred by reacting so strongly and uncharacteristically.
Lt. Torres had communicated with Seven in an angry sarcastic manner from their earliest of their interactions. After three years it had become more of a habit than anything else. Lt. Torres was angry and sarcastic, and Seven was cool and indifferent or pretended to not understand what was said to her. Now though, Seven had just stepped outside of their habitual interaction, and the Lieutenant would doubtless be more curious about what had occurred between Seven and Arana than she had before.
Seven, upset with herself for her uncontrolled behavior, whirled about and in a few strides reached her alcove and, unable to resist, gave the still gaping Lt. Torres one final angry look before beginning the regenerative cycle. She expected to sink into unconsciousness. Instead she found herself in the middle of a forest.
Looking about her Seven was struck by the fact that her surroundings were familiar to her, but she could not remember ever being in such a place before.
Seven had contacted me a few hours ago and asked me to watch the children. While she was regenerating she had gone to a place called Unimatrix Zero, only certain drones, those with a particular recessive mutation, were able to go there while regenerating. Apparently she had been one of them, and now her friends from that place had contacted her and asked for Voyagers help in escaping the notice of the Borg Queen. Currently, the Captain and Seven, with the assistance of Tuvok utilizing a Vulcan method called the bridging of the minds, were visiting Unimatrix Zero trying to find out what assistance Voyager could offer.
"Why can't we go to the cargo bay and regenerate?" a petulant, Metozi looked up at me.
The child knew that the Captain, Seven, and Tuvok were utilizing it at the moment, but that did not stop her from complaining. I noted the crossed arms and resentful stare, I was sympathetic to her frustration with the disruption of her nightly routine, but not as understanding of the attitude she was displaying at the moment. I considered what to say to get my point across to the child so that she would listen, instead of shutting me out, because I was not telling her what she wanted to hear.
"What are some of the activities you like doing most Metozi?" I asked her.
Metozi frowned at me in confusion, but answered me, albeit in a sullen tone, "Playing kadis-kot with Naomi, my ant colony and studying entomology."
I nodded thoughtfully, then tilted my head to the side and stared off into space for a few moments. I waited a few more moments to make sure I had the girl's complete attention then in an absent tone commented, "I imagine you would have never learned of your interest in insects, or kadis-kot, if you had remained in the Collective."
All of the Borg children eyed me, as if wondering why I had suddenly lost my wits.
"Such things would be considered irrelevant," Icheb confirmed and the other children nodded.
"A benefit of individuality then, though you are required to do certain things, you also have the freedom to choose others." I looked down at Metozi who was eyeing me suspiciously. She was certainly intelligent enough to scent a trap when it was being laid, but I just returned her look blandly.
I backtracked, sensing that I would meet with resistance if I continued with this line of reasoning. "I wonder if Seven ever played kadis-kot in Unimatrix Zero during the time she was in her maturation tank." I commented, combining the hurried briefing Seven had given me when she had asked me to look after the children, and the things she had told me of her time in the Collective.
I got wide eyed looks from all of them as they contemplated the possibility I had raised.
By this time we had arrived at the Science Lab and Icheb and the children went to their respective stations and starting working on their projects. Though, from the occasional absent stare, and intense reflective mood present, I gathered they were still thinking over my words. No further comments on the subject were made by any of them, but neither were there any more protests about the disruption to their schedule.
Two hours later when Seven entered the room we all looked up from our respective studies and eyed her with keen interest, curious to find out what had occurred.
"Milady, how did your mission go?" I asked, while noting the controlled manner she was holding her self, not only physically, but mentally as well.
Seven looked indecisive for a moment, then spoke, "The Queen has discovered the interlink frequency of Unimatrix Zero. I have come to take you to begin your regeneration cycles, then I must assist Lt. Torres and the Doctor with discovering a way to protect the drones there."
As we walked toward Cargo Bay 2, Icheb asked, "The entire time you were in your maturation tank you were in Unimatrix Zero?"
Seven glanced sharply at the young man for a second, then the look softened and she sighed almost inaudibly and looked away. "There were young children present in Unimatrix Zero from their maturation tanks, I presume I did the same while in mine."
I could tell that this subject had her feeling unsettled, and guessed that she wished it had not been brought up. I castigated myself for not anticipating this reaction, but could not regret that the subject had been broached. There was a part of her past where she had been able to laugh and play and grow into an adult, if it was at all possible she deserved to regain those memories.
"Did you play Kadis-Kot?" Metozi asked Seven with a sideways glance at me.
Seven raised a metallic brow at the question, "I do not know Metozi, I cannot remember any of my time in Unimatrix Zero." Seven's eyes shifted toward mine, following Metozi's gaze, and I gave her a guilty smile in return.
We had reached the Cargo Bay by now and Seven watched as the children stepped into the alcoves there and began their regeneration cycles.
Before she even turned an inquisitive eye on me I began speaking, "I wanted Metozi to consider how this event impacted others, and not only how it was inconveniencing her. As she cares for you, I brought up what you might gain from becoming aware of Unimatrix Zero. I am sorry that my actions caused you discomfort, especially after the great kindness you showed me last night."
I had thanked Seven when I awoke feeling rested for the first time in several days. Words had been inadequate, but I had tried to tell her how much I appreciated the support, comfort and clear-headed assessment of my nightmares. She had been pleased, and I had to stop myself from babbling out more thanks like a dim-witted fool.
"What do you believe I will gain by remembering my time in Unimatrix Zero." Seven asked, interrupting my reminiscing.
I thought a moment before answering, "I do not remember playing games as a child, I remember assisting my mother with her tasks. It took me along time to understand how to simply enjoy myself, to be able to be still and enjoy beauty without feeling that I should be doing something more productive. It set me apart from my fellows because I could not understand why they did some of the things they did. I had to force myself to learn how to play, to be still and just enjoy the beauty of a sunset or sunrise."
I could see the surprise in Seven's eyes as she looked at me as I continued "I believe this is a difficulty you share, yet there is a strong possibility that you did play with other children, enjoy the beauty of the forest, and grow into an adult. If you can regain any of those memories… then yes, I believe you will gain something from them."
Seven stared into my eyes intently for a few moments, and I could feel her weighing my words. "I do not know if I can regain those memories, but I will attempt to do so if possible." Her mood shifted from introspection to concern and she continued, "I should assist Lt. Torres and the Doctor tonight, if you have difficulty sleeping contact me."
I hastened to reassure her, "I am certain the worst of my troubles are past thanks to your help last night. I am certain I will sleep tonight without being troubled by old memories. And if I am I will remember how you comforted me and draw strength from that and I will be fine."
Seven looked torn and I could clearly sense her conflicted emotions, "Duty calls you Milady Seven, may Torm bless your efforts. I will see you tomorrow?" I asked consciously using the less formal Federation term instead of the more formal Faerun 'on the morrow'.
Seven smiled at this, aware that I had been trying to speak more like the other crewmembers. "I will attempt to meet you for breakfast." Seven gave me a long look then turned abruptly and headed for the doors. Before they opened and she exited she paused and I sensed a spiking of the uneasiness I had sensed earlier from her.
Seven turned back toward me, "Lt. Torres questioned me about my presence in your room. She will not discover anything if she seeks to find out what I researched, I encrypted all records of my search parameters and results, informed Commander Tuvok of my actions and provided him with the encryption codes I utilized."
I was at a loss for a moment as to what she was saying, but then realized she was telling me she had taken care to hide from everyone that she had been reading about dreams, specifically nightmares, and probably about how being raped affected someone and how it related to nightmares. I had almost forgotten Captain Janeway assuring me that my medical file had been locked, and I didn't have to worry about anyone knowing I had been sexually assaulted unless I shared the information with them.
It was odd in a way, in Faerun it would have been assumed that I had been raped; I would not have had to reveal anything. It was an obvious tactic used to humiliate and demoralize, and the Lovitarians were not the only ones to utilize it for those purposes. Here though no one knew but me, Seven, Captain Janeway, the Doctor, Commander Chakotay and Commander Tuvok.
There I would have already had counseling by fellow knights and priests who had been through the same experience themselves. Here the Captain had referred to it when she told me my records had been locked and told that if I needed to discuss it her door was always open to me, but I knew that she felt out of her depth with dealing with the subject. Only Seven of those who knew had approached me directly about the subject. And her objective acceptance of it was similar to the treatment I would have received in the Order, and was part of what made me feel comfortable with discussing it with her.
I was getting the impression that here being raped was unusual and some type of stigma was associated with being the victim of it, otherwise why was everyone making such an effort to hide the fact I had been raped as part of the Lovitarian's efforts to break me. That surprised me; somehow I expected that such advanced people would view violence, no matter what its form, and being the victim of it differently. Instead, it seemed to make them shy away from the entire subject, as if ignoring it would make it go away.
Not that I had ever expected to have to deal with the consequences of my decision, as I had fully expected to die, but the current situation made survival more problematic for me. In a way I would rather be back in Faerun, there at least I would be getting the type of support I knew I needed. Here… I knew Seven was doing her absolute best for me, but I still felt that the rape was affecting me more than it should, that I should be able to put it in perspective better. It had after all been the result of a noble action, one that both Torm and Ilmater themselves had blessed me for.
"Arana?" Seven's concerned tone broke through my moment of self-introspection.
Focusing on her I realized from the uneasy guilt emanating from her that she had likely taken my silence as condemnation of her actions.
"Pardon, Milady, I was just pondering the differences between how your people and mine view what happened to me. My rape by the Lovitarians." I spoke it bluntly aloud. "There it would not be kept a secret, there would be no need. Everyone would assume that I had been raped, as it is not at all unusual for the Lovitarians to do that to their captives." I paused while she watched silently, "There should be no need for you to carry out these deceptions on my account." I said the last with some heat in my voice.
"You are displeased with my action." Seven stated quietly after a few moments.
"No," I protested the statement, "no Seven, I am in no way displeased with your efforts on my account." I hastened, aghast, to reassure her. "I did not mean you to take my words so."
We looked at each other, she had a slight frown on her face as she regarded me, and was not pleased much with myself either. I pushed myself into motion and strode to her, laying my hands lightly upon her shoulders, and meeting her gaze plainly, I tried to explain. "You are an honest person, but for my sake you have taken actions to hide what should not have to be hidden. Why should you have to conceal the fact that you are helping me?" I asked her earnestly.
Seven's gaze sharpened upon me, "You feel as though I am carrying out some deception?"
I shook my head, "No," I struggled to clarify my thoughts, "as though your people's rules and customs are forcing you to carry one out on my behalf." I heard my own words and I let her go, aghast at my own dishonor, "I am sorry Milady, I should not speak so, I dishonor myself, and my oath to Captain Janeway to abide by the rules and customs of this vessel."
Seven's blue eyes widened in realization, "The rules are there to protect your privacy, they do not prevent you from telling who ever you wish, about what happened to you. They only prevent me, or others who know, from revealing it to anyone else without your permission." She hesitated a moment then looking directly into my eyes asked, "Do you feel as though you are deceiving the crew?"
My thoughts were a jumble, but I responded to her honestly, "Yes," my eyes fell to the deck plating.
"Arana," her voice was gentle and I raised my eyes to hers, "You are free to talk to anyone about what happened to you, I understand that I lack the experience and emotional knowledge to help you with your difficulty as well as others, such as the Captain or Commander Chakotay."
"Untrue, Milady," I protested, upset that she should think so, "You have helped me greatly with the generosity of your spirit, your farseeing and clearly thought out words, and by your willingness to bear me company and to comfort me during my distress. With you, it is as though I were talking to one of my sister priestesses of Ilmater, you have the same wisdom, the same clear seeing and honesty." At the last her eyes fell from mine, as if she thought she were unworthy of being called honest.
I reached out my right hand and cupped her face. Fear, deep sorrow, and rage, her emotions came to me clearly, "Why are you so full of sorrow and anger, Seven?" Her eyes flew up and met mine, surprise clearly written within them. "And what are you so afraid of?" Her eyes flinched away from mine at the question, and it was as if she had shouted her answer to me. I was utterly dismayed, "Seven?" I asked confused, "Milady, what have I done that you would fear me?"
"I am not afraid of you," she immediately answered, Seven eyes searched mine, she sighed and looked resigned, "I am afraid of your reaction."
I waited for her to continue, but she did not, "My reaction to what Seven?" I asked and could not help, but gently caress the side of her face with my hand. "Do you fear I will become angry with you?" I was grasping for reason's now, confused and worried.
"No," her hand covered mine and pressed it against her cheek, her blue eyes meeting mine unhappily, "I fear that you will not continue telling me of the things that hurt you if you…" she trailed off.
"Understood how full of rage and sorrow you felt as a result of hearing them," I finished, understanding suddenly the emotions I had sensed from her.
"I have already decided to discuss the appropriate way to deal with these emotions with Captain Janeway and Commander Tuvok." Seven told me earnestly, "I do not want my anger to damage me in the manner you described, and I do not want you to think that you cannot discuss these things with me."
"Seven," I paused a moment gathering my thoughts, "I shared what I did with you, because I cannot deny you the opportunity to help me. If our situations were reversed, I would desire to help you in any manner possible; I cannot deny you, what I would want." Seven stared at me searchingly and then nodded.
"I am not upset with you for being angry with those who hurt me, and for feeling sorrow for what I lived through as a child. I have felt the same emotions for every child that I have ever freed from similar circumstance as what I suffered." I admitted to her. I glanced aside briefly then back to meet her eyes, "I am myself, holding onto too much anger and grief over what happened to me at the hands of the Lovitarians, I am ill with it, and I need to discern why. I thought I had kept them from poisoning my soul, but now I believe I am suffering from some taint of theirs that I need to find and cleanse from myself."
Seven intertwined her hand with mine and lowered it from her face, but retained possession of it so that our hands remained joined between us. She tilted her head to the side, and examined me closely, her eyes keen upon me as she considered my words. "Perhaps we can assist each other with these unwanted emotions?" she offered.
I smiled, "I believe I would like that, though you should also ask those you mentioned, often in many viewpoints, a fuller understanding of the truth is gathered. I should perhaps, avail myself of Commander Tuvok's understanding as well. Though he seems a very important and busy person, and I have not wanted to interrupt him from his duties with my personal concerns." I admitted.
I had wanted to discuss several things with the Vulcan, but our conversations so far had been limited to the studies of Federation law, and basic starship operations so that I would understand what to do in certain emergencies. During those times we were frequently interrupted by other crewmembers needing his authorization for tasks, or reporting to him of duties completed. It had made me less than comfortable with interrupting what little time he had for his own concerns to bother him with mine.
"It has been my experience that Commander Tuvok…" she hesitated for a moment, "appreciates assisting others with understanding the reasons for their emotions, and bringing those emotions under their conscious control."
I was surprised at the information; it had struck me that he was slightly uncomfortable with the emotionalism of some of his crewmates, but then I did not know him well at all. "I shall be certain to avail myself of his wisdom then at the next opportunity," I assured her.
We stared at one another for a moment, "I must join Lt. Torres and the Doctor," Seven said reluctantly.
"Of course," I replied embarrassed, "I should not have detained you from your duties." I tried to release her hand but she would not let go.
"Incorrect," she responded, "we have resolved two important issues that might have impacted upon our," she paused, "courtship. My research into interpersonal relationships indicated that it was important for both parties to be honest with one another. My personal observation has been that such honesty is infrequently practiced, often to the detriment of both parties."
I remained quiet sensing that she had more to say, "I did not understand why being honest with someone you claimed to have strong emotions for was so difficult. Yet, I was afraid of what I believed was your probable reaction, and attempted to hide my concern from you." Seven admitted solemnly. Instantly I felt uncomfortable, I had my own fear that I was hiding from her that remained unadmitted.
Seven continued, "Your insistence that I be honest in admitting what was troubling me has resulted in the resolution of those concerns. I will attempt to not let my fears prevent me from sharing my concerns with you in the future." she assured me in a soft tone.
Her truthfulness compelled me to speak, "Your honesty shames me, Milady. I must confess something to you, which I did not admit to earlier." I glanced away for a moment then met the blue of her eyes once again, "I fear admitting to my rape with others, this secrecy causes me to feel that perhaps it will be seen that I am somehow to blame for what happened. After all I did agree to the exchange, I understood before that agreement what was likely to happen to me." I said troubled.
Seven inhaled sharply and I could see the strong disagreement in her eyes.
"Lt. Torres to Seven," her communications badge interrupted.
Seven tapped it irritatedly, "Seven here."
"Seven we could use your Borg knowledge in Sickbay," Torres replied, obviously annoyed.
"I will be there shortly," Seven replied, and tapped the badge closing the channel. "You would not be blamed by the crew for your rape." she immediately began speaking to me. "The safeguards are there only to protect your privacy, so that what happened to you is not the subject of the crews gossip and speculation, which they are overly inclined to indulge in." she finished disapprovingly.
I considered her words; I had already noticed the amount of gossiping that occurred aboard the ship. It was a small enclosed world, anything new, anything interesting, was intensely speculated upon. I was already the subject of a fair share of the current gossip, my looks, my race, how I came to be aboard, even my relationship with Seven and the children.
"You are saying that my rape is treated this way so that I do not hear people discussing it where ever I go." I sought to clarify her statement, as well as consider how I would react to such a thing.
"That it is a matter of public knowledge at all," Seven stated. "Whether discussed within your hearing or not."
Thinking of what I knew of the crew I spoke my thoughts aloud, "Some would pity me, others would think my actions heroic, and there would be those that would consider me to be a fool for not tricking them, for not escaping as soon as I had the opportunity." I stated already knowing the answer. I would intensely dislike all three reactions, I did not want people to pity me for being raped, and I did not want adulation for it either, nor did I want to defend my beliefs and why I was forbidden to practice such deceptions.
Seven reluctantly nodded her agreement, "Those that thought that, would not understand your obedience to your oath to Torm and to Ilmater. That you cannot attempt to knowingly deceive another without breaking those oaths and your vows."
"Do you?" I asked her, hoping that she at least understood from our discussions of Faerun why I could not have done anything else but stay.
"Yes," Seven answered after a pause, "I understand that paladins are exceptionally trusted in Faerun, because they do not lie or break their vows, even when placed into such situations as you were. That trust would not be possible if you or other paladins practiced deceptions."
I let out a breath of relief at her words. Mindful of her obligations, even though I did not wish for her to go, I forced myself to say, "You must go, Milady, I should not be the cause of any more delay in the carrying out of your duties."
"The Captain did not order me to assist them; I only knew that my assistance would be required." Seven smirked. "The delay forced Lt. Torres to ask for my presence, so she cannot accuse me of 'poking my Borg nose into everything' tonight."
I stared at her in surprise for a moment then began chuckling in mirth. "I am pleased to have been of such assistance to you then, Milady."
Seven stared at me intently for a moment then to my complete surprise stepped forward and pressed her lips against mine. Reflexively my hands gripped her waist lightly, as she moved her lips against mine and I tentatively responded. Her lips were so soft and warm against mine that I felt slightly dizzy at the feel of them. She pulled back enough to look into my eyes for a moment, I was ready to release her if she wished, but instead she wrapped her arms around me and pulled us closer together.
"Seven," I breathed her name, wrapping my arms around her in return, feeling my pleasure and hers at the contact between our bodies, the softness of our breasts pressed against the other's, the strength of her thighs against my own.
Our faces inches apart we looked into each others eyes, noticed that our breaths were slightly quicker, felt the rapid beat of the other's heart against our own. As one we moved together and our lips met again, this time the contact was slower, deeper, as we explored the shape and feel of the other's lips with our own.
When we moved apart again I opened my eyes slowly and stared into Seven's blue ones, fascinated with the way they had darkened and were definitely more blue than grey at the moment. Her hand drifted up and stroked the side of my face softly as she stared at me, wonder clear upon her face.
"Seven?" I asked curiously in a low voice.
"Your eyes have more gold in them than before," her eyes drifted down to my lips, "we kissed."
I blushed slightly, "It is a sign of your effect upon me." I was aware than in all propriety I should release my hold upon her, but she was not releasing me, and I did not wish to let her go.
Seven smiled, and I thought for a moment she was about to more bluntly state what had caused my eyes to change color. I blushed more intensely, and after a moment though her smile grew, she did not say anything. She drew in a deep breath and released me, reluctantly I withdrew as well and we stepped apart.
We stared at each other for a moment silently, finally Seven said, "If you should have difficulties with dreams tonight."
"I will contact you, Milady." I finished for her, watching her intently, still feeling my heart beating in my chest from our kiss.
She turned again toward the doors, they opened and she paused for a moment in the center of them. Turning toward me she hesitated for a second and stated, "I was uncertain last night whether or not I could respond to you as you desired. I am no longer uncertain." As I stood stunned, her eyes flickered up and down my body quickly before they met mine once again, and I could not mistake her meaning. She turned and left, the doors closing behind her.
Where her gaze had fell upon me, hot pinpricks of awareness ran up and down my body. I took in a deep breath, calming myself. I was somewhat surprised that unlike with Alessea there had been no unpleasant images that had floated into my mind to disturb me as we touched. Even with what had happened to me so recently, Seven's touch did not remind me of any of those violent, invasive, painful moments. Some of it undoubtedly was that she was female, but I suspected the main reason was my newly sensitive empathic abilities. When we touched I could feel her so clearly now, and what I sensed from her could never remind me of any of them.