Hey everyone! I'm sorry this update is a little late, but I've been in a not-so-hot mood lately, and I really couldn't push myself into writing. I hope you all understand.

Great job with the trivia question, everyone! Wowee. I believe GinnyGin had the first correct guess, and magicgirl45852 gave a great alternative! Thankssss amigossss!

Disclaimer: I really hate disclaimers.

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Vernon arrived home later that night; a few hours after Harry, Tabitha, and Dudley came back from the boxing match. Harry had been sitting in the kitchen, enjoying a snack while Tabitha cooked dinner for the Dursleys, when he heard his uncle's car screech up the driveway. Tabitha ran straight for the door, Harry right after her, planning to dart into his cupboard unnoticed. However, the key started to turn in the lock before he had the chance. Harry ducked behind a curtain and Tabitha stood in front of him, obscuring him from view. Just in time, Vernon entered the house in his usual rambunctious way, tossed his heavy briefcase at Tabitha, and peered up the staircase, not noticing Harry at all.

"Dudders? Are you up there? Come down, you have to tell me all about the match!" He yelled up.

Fairly soon, Dudley came thundering down the steps, much to Harry's annoyance. He winced, imagining the amount of dust that would have some falling down on his head if he had been inside his cupboard. Tabitha seemed to have noticed this too, for Harry could hear her click her tongue, however muffled, through the heavy curtain in front of him.

"Dudley! Here's my boy!" Vernon ruffled his son's hair proudly. "Tell me, just how bloodied up was your opponent? Did they tell you how long he'll be in the hospital for?" Vernon said all this while grinning.

Dudley turned slightly pink, and mumbled something incoherent. "What was that, Dud?" His father asked.

"I said he beat me!" Dudley said louder. He commenced to tell him what exactly had happened at the gym. By the end of the story, Vernon's fists were clenched into tight balls and he was growling angrily.

"This kid- what did you say his name was? This John Jennings, or whatever his name is, should not have been allowed to play. He obviously cheated." Vernon looked down at Dudley. "Why don't you go to your room, and I'll call up the gym and discuss a rematch. They'll certainly listen to me!" He assured him, as if no one could possibly say no to Vernon Dursley. Dudley ran back upstairs, and Vernon turned to Tabitha. "Now, how has Petunia been all day?" He asked her.

"Alright, I think." Tabitha shrugged a little. "She's been upstairs for most of the day. Of course, I wasn't here when I took Dudley to his match, but that's as far a I know."

"And the boy is in his room? He didn't leave? He didn't sneak any food?"

Tabitha coughed discreetly. "Stayed in his room all day." Harry snickered a little, and Tabitha kicked him lightly to shut him up.

Vernon nodded. "Good. I'm thinking of letting him out tomorrow, as long as he apologizes to Dudley. Throwing food in his face, I don't know what the boy was thinking…" He muttered the last sentence to himself angrily. "Did you do all the cleaning? And the laundry?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good. Well, I've had quite a long day, so I'll just take my dinner in the parlor, Ms. Royce. And pour me a glass of brandy." Vernon slid off his jacket and threw it onto the chair beside him. He slumped down on the couch and turned the television on to the news.

Harry knew Tabitha was waiting for Vernon to become engrossed in his program before she left the room. Sure enough, Tabitha silently gestured for Harry to follow her down the hall. She walked him over to his cupboard and unlatched the door carefully. "I'll come back later with your dinner." She whispered in his ear, and pushed him into the tiny room.

o-o

Lily had brought Harry his dinner after Vernon had retired for bed so that he wouldn't notice the missing food. After taking away his empty plates, she went to her own room and fell asleep not long after.

She woke up the next morning with a splitting headache. Blinking a few times to get used to the morning light, Lily sat up in bed. She looked down at the alarm clock the Dursleys had left in the guest bedroom for her to use. 6:30. She had woken up a half hour earlier than necessary. Sighing, Lily looked the small desk calendar she had brought with her to put on her bedside table. It read "July 18th". Lily had trouble believing that she had only been at Privet Drive for about four days. It seemed like she had been in Harry's life for so much longer. Lily supposed Harry was the type of boy who you can get to know in a minute, who only required a couple of seconds' conversation to understand. Yes, it had helped that Lily had been following her son's life as closely as possibly through one Arabella Figg, but hearing about him and living with him were two entirely different things.

Lily finally got out of bed, leaving her thoughts under the covers, and trudged into the bathroom to brush her teeth. As soon as she started scrubbing in her mouth, Lily was interrupted by a scream.

"Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!"

Lily dropped her toothbrush, spit into the sink, and dashed out of her room, trying desperately to follow the noise. It seemed to be coming from the Dursleys' room.

"Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Lily slid into the bedroom and spotted Petunia lying in her bed. Vernon was nowhere in sight. "Oh Mer- Oh God! What is it, Mrs. Dursley? Is the baby coming!" Lily asked her sister frantically.

Petunia sobbed and shook her head, then buried it in her pillows.

"What is it? Tell me, please!" Lily begged helplessly.

Petunia continued to moan and tousle, fat tears falling down her cheeks. "Need………kumquats."

"Wha-what?" Lily questioned in shock. "Did you say…did you say kumquats?"

Petunia nodded and became silent. For a moment, Lily wondered if she had fallen asleep. But these thoughts were proven wrong when Petunia jolted up in bed, grabbing Lily by the shoulders, and shaking her violently. "I SAID I NEED KUMQUATS! GET ME SOME KUMQUATS NOW!"

Lily raced out of the room and into the kitchen. Please let there be kumquats somewhere… Lily opened every cabinet door, searched every closet space and pantry in the entire kitchen, but there was nothing there that even resembled a kumquat. What was she going to do?

Lily almost smacked herself at her stupidity. She was a bloody witch! She had seven years of magical education behind her, all to prepare herself for moments of crisis like these. Disgusted with herself, Lily ran back up to the guest bedroom and snatched her wand from her bedside table. She performed a quick summoning charm, focusing on the item she needed most, and a basket of kumquats appeared magically on her bed.

She grabbed the basket just before Petunia let loose another loud wail, and ran back into her room. Panting, Lily kneeled down beside her sister's bed and gasped out, "Here- fresh kumquats!" She spilled the basket onto the bed, the orange balls of fruit rolling every which way.

"What are these?" Petunia picked up a kumquat and examined it reproachfully.

"They're…they're kumquats." Lily replied nervously.

Petunia turned red, and hurled the fruit at the wall opposite her. Juice poured down the wall towards the ground and left a green stain on the carpet. Lily winced, thinking of how hard it would be to get that out later on. "I don't want these- these things!" Petunia screamed. "I need turnips and- and ketchup!" She moaned again. "Mmm, and chocolate. Lots of chocolate. Chocolate covered raisins, and mayonnaise. And the turnips and ketchup."

Lily bit her lip to hold back the rising vomit. "Very well, Mrs. Dursley. I'll do what I can." Lily walked back out of the room, and leaned against the wall, closing her eyes. Her headache was only getting worse, what with Petunia's screaming and all the running around she was doing. Almost as is she could read her mind, Petunia wailed again, and Lily charged back towards the kitchen. She couldn't risk doing so much magic at a time; she would have to find food the Dursleys already had. Again, she searched all through the kitchen, and found very little. Lily was so absorbed in her hunt that she didn't hear Harry come in behind her, yawning and stretching.

"Morning."

Lily was so surprised; she hit her head on the top of the cabinet she was looking in. "Harry! Oh, good morning. Petunia's not in a very good mood." She rubbed her head and told him all about his aunt's odd requests.

Harry laughed. "She's having her sympathy cravings again?"

Lily winced. "You mean she's done this before?"

"Oh yeah." Harry nodded, taking a banana from the counter. "Last week Uncle Vernon made me go out to the store and buy her chewing gum and sardines because she wouldn't shut up. Actually, I bet that's why he isn't in the house. Wanted to get out of the way before all hell broke loose."

Lily listened as the unmistakable sound of fifty kumquats rolling down the stairs filled the first floor, followed by fresh screams from Petunia, who was moaning something that sounded like, "cherries… gravy … papaya… garlic…"

"I honestly don't blame him."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Some more comedic relief…pregnant people are funny…please don't hurt me if you actually are pregnant, or once were pregnant.

Trivia Question: Just curious, but does anyone have a weird pregnancy story they'd like to share? My mom told me a great one the other day; maybe I'll tell you guys in the next chapter.

Awesome job with the reviews! I love you all dearly; unless you are also an author then you can't understand how great it feels to have people who enjoy my work!

All review replies are on my profile!

I'm out!

LaRohaZeta