School is approaching fast, and I cannot say that I'm thrilled. It's not that I'm dreading another year of work, teachers, and classes; it's just…you know how it is. Who's bright idea was it to make summer so short, anyway?
Special thanks to tandora tamaria789 and misfit2008 for giving me the right answers to the trivia question! The movie was indeed 13 Conversations About One Thing! Props to you guys, that was tough!
Here's a shout out to all the reviewers of To Die Laughing: YOU PEOPLE ROCK!
I like this chapter; it's got a good little mix of humor and angst. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: If I were JKR, the Half-Blood Prince would have been very different. I mean, I'm not about to go all Misery on her, but I was no happy camper after reading #6.
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For the first time in a long time, Lily was glad that she arrived home just in time to make the Dursleys' dinner. Cooking was something that she could distract herself with. Almost anything was better than thinking about Harry, lying motionless on his hospital bed.
The Dursleys were in fine moods. Vernon had had an excellent day at work, where he had insisted on going – even though it was a Saturday. He boastfully told his family about the new hardware chain in Bristol that was considering selling his drills. Petunia was positively gleeful about this. It helped that she hadn't had a terrible day herself. The baby had kicked relatively harder and longer than usual. He (or she) wasn't due until the middle of August, but was already showing signs of being a healthy child.
As for Dudley – he had knocked out two of his opponent's teeth during boxing practice that afternoon. This news was met with hearty smiles and "that's my boy"s from his parents, whereas Lily had grimaced to herself and imagined some unfortunate loose-jawed sixteen year old who would have to see the dentist more times in the next month than he had in all his past years put together.
Dinner was finished, plates cleared, and Lily given her instructions for the next day. Only when she had started pouring Vernon his after-dinner glass of brandy did he think to ask,
"Where's that boy gotten off to?"
Lily was about to explain how he had slept over at a friend's house when the front door opened and Harry appeared, as if on cue. Lily just caught a glimpse of a tall black wizard Disapperating before the front door fully shut and Harry strode into the kitchen.
"Where were you, boy?" Vernon glared at Harry.
"Helping Mrs. Figg with her groceries," Harry replied coolly, holding something behind his back.
"Hmph." Vernon treated Harry to a long rant about how being charitable was a waste of time, and if he really wanted to unload the old spinster's bags, he should demand to paid. "And, you've missed your dinner, so you'll just have to do without it tonight," he finished, sneering.
Harry shrugged as if he couldn't care less. "Fine by me." He disappeared into the cupboard.
Vernon turned to Lily, taking his brandy from her hands. "Make sure he doesn't sneak any food. If he's so ungrateful as to interrupt our meal, then he doesn't deserve one himself."
Lily ground her teeth, but her face impassive. "Absolutely, sir."
o-o
Knock knock.
Harry looked up from his letter. "Come in."
Tabitha appeared, holding out a tray. "Room service."
Harry slipped the parchment and quill under his bed. "Wow," he said as she sat the tray down in front of him.
Meats – sliced, grilled, broiled – with potatoes prepared in every imaginable way, and piles of vegetables, both cooked and raw. Salad had its own plate. Dishes of olives and boiled eggs and candied fruits sat beside the platter of assorted cheeses and the loaf of bread. For desert, there was chocolate cake, and tiramisu, and a bowl of fruit salad.
"I think you have the wrong room. Dudley's is upstairs," Harry joked, a little shocked.
"Oh, don't worry, these are just his leftovers," Tabitha replied, amused.
After they had both laughed for a little while, Harry asked her, "Seriously though. Why all the food?" It's like being back at Hogwarts.
Tabitha hesitated. "I thought you must be hungry and tired after…helping Mrs. Figg with her groceries," she tried lamely.
"Er, okay." Harry decided not to push it. Instead, he made his way through all the food while Tabitha filled him in on all the Dursleys' good news.
"…and your uncle's got a new drill client. Some hardware chain up in Bristol wants to buy his whole new line of three-step-assembly drills. I know, terribly exciting. Honestly, I can't think of any job more excruciating than selling drills."
"I can," Harry interrupted halfway through his eggs. "How about taking orders from the Dursleys all day long?"
Tabitha paused, looking uncomfortable with his sudden attack. "It's not so bad," she said quietly. "Room and board are free, and the hours are agreeable."
"Your hours are non-stop!"
"I didn't expect anything less."
"But you don't even get paid – at least, not really."
"I do get paid. And I have you to thank for that." Tabitha smiled. "Your aunt seemed to think that my 'putting up with you' gave me a right to some money every week in addition to the free food and house space."
"So you're getting paid to spend time with me?" Harry asked acidly.
Tabitha looked angry, to Harry's surprise. "Harry, must you search for reasons to be mad at me? First you act agitated because I agreed to work for the Dursleys, and then you get annoyed because it turns out that I'm taking money from them? You're not just arguing with me; you're arguing with yourself!"
A mix of anger and shame rose in Harry. "If I'm so hard to deal with, maybe you should go ask Aunt Petunia for more money," he snapped.
Tabitha looked shocked and hurt. "I can just leave if you want to be alone," she spoke quietly, standing and picking up the empty tray.
"No, don't go," Harry reached for her hand and pulled her back onto the bed. "I'm sorry." He sighed heavily. "I shouldn't have snapped at you. I've just had a rough day, is all."
Tabitha seemed concerned. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Harry sighed. He had never wanted to reveal his secret to a Muggle more than now. "Not really. Just don't take what I said the wrong way. It's not that I want you to leave – not at all. You're the best thing that's happened to Number Four in years, that damned baby included."
Tabitha smiled slightly. "You shouldn't judge the baby before it actually comes, you know."
"No, I guess I shouldn't," Harry admitted. "I feel bad for it, actually. The poor thing will have to grow up with the Dursleys."
"You had to grow up with the Dursleys, too," Tabitha reminded him sadly.
Harry considered this. "Well, at least I had one year with my parents," he said softly. "And I think I must have been happy there."
Tabitha coughed a little. "I'm sure you were." She wiped rather roughly at her face. "I still have all those dishes to clean. Maybe I'll do a couple before I go to bed. Goodnight, Harry."
She was gone a second later, leaving him as always to wonder over her strange behavior.
o-o
Lily had always been very freethinking and independent. But, like most people, she occasionally followed the ways of others.
So now, she was bent over a saucepan in the Dursleys kitchen, stirring milk and cocoa powder with a wooden spoon. Seeing Remus again (Was that really only a few hours ago?) had reminded Lily of how much her friend had trusted chocolate to reverse his unsettling moods.
The warm, sweet-smelling steam in her face helped clear out her mind a little, leaving her free to think.
What a day.
All she had planned on was to have a relaxing tea with the Headmaster. Instead, she'd had the most dramatic day she'd seen in fifteen years. An encounter with Remus, fights with Dumbledore, sudden elation over the Total-Reversal Tonic to sudden horror over the Death Eater attack, practically breaking into St. Mungo's and then fighting with Harry – it was all too much.
Lily added a few drops of vanilla to her hot chocolate and stirred it thoroughly. Was she a terrible mother? She couldn't believe that she had gotten angry with Harry. The poor boy had almost died today – Lily got chills at the thought. He had watched friends drop in front of him, had seen people he cared about tortured and mortified – yet he had come home at the end of the day, perfectly ready to joke with her about Dudley's weight. How did he do it? How did Harry get so brave? Lily wasn't sure if it was the James in him shining through, or if Harry was just naturally a fighter. Either way, Lily had done him a dishonor by fighting with him. Hadn't Harry earned the right to be irritable today? Of course he had been upset; his friend and her mother were lying on hospital beds at that very moment, struggling to survive. So where did Lily get off, blowing up at him like that? She had unleashed the Evans Temper – dubbed by Sirius, who had used to call it the Mr. Hyde to her Dr. Jekyll – on Harry, her only son, who had already been through so much and seen so much, and even had the humility to flatter her soon after ceasing to be angry with her – Lily was ashamed.
Hot chocolate alone just wasn't going to be enough. Lily searched through the Dursleys' cabinets and eventually pulled out a bottle of Flor de Caña. She would have to take a leaf out of James' book as well.
Sorry Remus.
Yes, a little rum in her hot chocolate would do the trick.
o-o
Rose Burns…Rose Burns…the name wouldn't stop spinning around in Harry's head. Other thoughts, like those of Ginny and Mrs. Weasley, were only a misuse of his energy and wouldn't do anything. Worrying about his friends wouldn't help them. Harry believed that he was better off solving the mystery of Rose Burns.
He couldn't remember ever meeting or hearing about a witch or Muggle of that name. Rose Burns was no teacher of his nor any friend he knew of nor an Order member he had been introduced to. Harry had no relatives left except for the ones he spent his summers with. If this Rose Burns character were an important figure in his life, someone – Dumbledore, Sirius, or Hagrid – would have told him about her. Therefore, the only logical option he was left with was that the name 'Rose Burns' was a false name or a code of some sort.
But that was only the beginning of the mystery. Who was she, and why did she come to visit him while he was unconscious? Why didn't she stay until he woke instead of just taking off? Harry mentally corrected himself, remembering Tabitha's advice of not jumping to conclusions about genders. Of course, the au pair had been referring to Aunt Petunia's baby, but the rule could apply to any situation, really. Rose Burns could be a man disguised as a woman – it wasn't as if that were a hard thing to do in the wizarding world.
Harry couldn't think of anyone who cared enough about him to make a big scene at the hospital just so they could see him, but wouldn't even stay until he regained consciousness. This type of behavior reminded Harry strongly of a Death Eater, but evidence and common sense weighed against that idea. Not only was there Ron's information to consider, about the improved hospital security – Harry also found it hard to believe that one of Voldemort's followers could sit by his bedside and not take advantage of his condition. Meaning, kill him.
The period of time where he was Stunned seem nonexistent to Harry. His time-line appeared to skip from Bellatrix pointing her wand at him to the Weasleys standing over his bed. But…as Harry thought hard, he supposed he should remember something, since he had been waking up at that point. And…yes! He did remember – someone…someone he had recognized, had come into his room, and had sat with him while he was asleep. Harry had seen the person's face and had heard their voice. And he hadn't been afraid.
So that definitely ruled out a Death Eater. But the options that were left were completely puzzling. Harry had had a visitor who obviously didn't want him to know their face or name. But why? Why would someone whom Harry was comfortable with – and who was probably comfortable with him – want to conceal their identity from him? Was it maybe someone who shouldn't have been there – or couldn't have been there?
The first idea that came to Harry was so outrageous, it could be considered laughable. Sirius was dead, and he wasn't coming back, as Harry knew perfectly well. He only had to tell it to himself about a hundred times a day. Remus? Perhaps his being a werewolf would have made the hospital staff uneasy, and he had concealed himself as a woman in order to visit Harry? No, the scheme was much too absurd for anything Remus would do. And his old teacher would have stayed longer, anyway. Dumbledore? Well, Dumbledore's time was well occupied, and he was always running off to meetings, so it made sense that he wouldn't be able to stay very long. But why would Dumbledore feel the need to use a fake name?
Eventually, Harry came up with names so crazy that he had to shut off his light and use Occlumency to block them out. It only worked partially, however – Harry couldn't rid himself of dreams about Snape bringing him flowers and chocolates from the hospital gift shop, or Voldemort crying over his sick bed.
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Ha, can you imagine? Excuse me for a moment while I go laugh my arse off.
(pause)
Back, sorry. Anyway, I have a couple of things to explain: Don't be angry with Lily for fighting with Harry. It was a hard day for her, even harder than Harry's, although she's too modest to admit it. She was really worried about Harry, and it's difficult for some people to express emotions like that (Lily and my dad are two very good examples). Lily just handled her fear in the wrong way, that's all.
Also, please don't ask me how I know that rum and hot chocolate are delicious together. It's one hell of a story. All I'll say is that it involves girl scout camp and one crazy night in Tijuana. You fill in the blanks! ;-)
No trivia this week, because reviews have been slacking. Instead, I'm designing a contest (a real one, with a real prize) to promote reviewing! See the rules below.
Contest: This week has been kind of sucky, what with school starting soon and all. I figured I needed some comic relief. So, this contest is for all the comedians out there: review Au Pair and tell me your best joke. Whoever enters the one that makes me laugh the most will win! And here's the totally awesome prize: I will email you an upcoming chapter of Au Pair or Serendipity, and you'll get to beta it and read it before anyone else! I might even let you write the chapter name, if you think of a good one!
So what do you think? Good luck to everyone who enters! Review replies are on my profile, as always.
Have a pleasant Thursday!
LaRohaZeta