I had gotten so far in the tournament, but it doesn't matter now. I was defeated, disappointed, heartbroken.

I pulled off my bracelet for the first time since he'd given it to me. I tacked it on my bulletin board next to a picture.

I didn't live in my dorm anymore. But I still went to school, even though I didn't want to. I would pass him in the halls. He would just stare at me and not say a word. I would stare back and in a secret, almost longing way that only I could depict. I'd wish he'd felt the same.

My grandmother walked in, interrupting my thoughts. She walked over and sat on my bed next to me. "How's my nieta?"

"Heartbroken," I said gloomily.

"¿Por qué? What happened to your heart?"

"It broke."

"Well who broke it?" When she didn't get an answer, she began looking around the room. Her eyes spotted my board and noticed the picture. She looked back at me.

I nodded. "Yeah, that's him." It was a picture of Jin and I. Miharu took it for us. I was resting my head on his shoulder. Presently, silent tears ran down my face. "Abuela, can you leave?"

"Sure sweetie," she hugged me and left the room.

I looked at my board and noticed more pictures of the good times I'd spent with Jin.

You live inside a dream, where everything tastes so sweet as long as it agrees with how you feel.

Why did he do this? If he truly loved me, would any of that have ever happened? Would I even be hurting right now? Would I be in his arms at this very moment if I had never entered that tournament? If we never left Ireland? Did he ever love me or was it just a game?

You're dancing in your sleep till all the eyes that look at me awaken your anxieties.

He didn't even notice, not until I was already on the ground, screaming in pain. He wasn't even looking into my eyes as he held me against the wall. He looked like a demon. He didn't notice.

You're so afraid, so you try to break me.

I'm already to pieces. I don't know what to do. He succeeded. I'm broken.

Tears fell harder. I sob silently, lost in my thoughts. How could he do this to me? Why did he want to make me cry, make me scream, make me bleed? Didn't he love me? Why was he so afraid? If I knew that he didn't want to loose so much I would've let him win. Because I love him.

Well I don't wanna care

I wish I didn't care about what he did. I don't want to care about you anymore, Jin. I knew he couldn't hear me but I felt better telling myself that he could.

And I don't wanna hate

I don't wanna hate you, Jin. I love you. Even after what you did. Though I'm still hurting, that doesn't mean that I can never love you. I'm driving myself crazy.

And I don't wanna see you fall too far away because of fear.

You fell already. What could make you so scared or angry? Angry enough to hurt another human being! Your girlfriend! I don't understand.

'Cause when you're afraid, you lash out and blame

I don't see how it could've been my fault. You would've won. I would have let you. I was attacked. If you were the one that got attacked I would see different but I was so it wasn't my fault. I loved you. You said you loved me back. Was that all a lie?

And you say all the things that you'd never meant to say and try to break me.

My heart is in so many pieces. Too many to put back together. Too sharp and too small. Trying to piece my heart back into place, my flesh starts to bleed. Words may not have passed from your lips but I heard what you said.

But in the end, what leaves you broken, in the end, makes you better.

I don't want to be broken. Only you can save me. Please, Jin, try. I don't think I can get better on my own. These wounds don't want to heal. My just willing them to heal doesn't help as much as I need it to. Heal me, Jin. Please.

Your face it looks so great, now the sun is shining differently and you're standing in the shade.

One minute, you were so beautiful. Your face was gorgeous. Then the next time I saw you, it pained me to see you that way. Both physically and emotionally. You treated me right when you were the Jin I know and love, when you were standing in the sun. But when you walked into the shade, you were a monster. A face I didn't know. You hurt me.

'Cause face to face you're sweet, like candy sticking to my teeth but underneath so damaging.

I remember the kisses we'd shared. It takes away my breath only think back on it. But at the tournament. At the tournament, lightening erupted from your body and shot at me. And when I told you I loved you, you, the Jin I know, came to me crying. Gomen nasai was all I heard from you. I'm sorry? What about ''I'm sorry, I love you''?

There is no strength in trying to break me.

Only makes you weak. Only makes you cry. I said I loved you and all you could say was I'm sorry. That cuts me deep. Really deep.

But in the end, what leaves you broken, in the end, makes you better.

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Song: Better by Plumb