Juuban High - Day 57

Story by: Elise Haskell and Carrie Rose

Written by: Carrie Rose

Edited by: Elise Haskell

Today was the big day. Plan z9 was in effect as of now.

"What the hell is plan z9 anyway?" Gohan asked as we walked to school.

"You know… THE plan!" I said.

"You don't know either do you?" Gohan asked.

"No, but I'm sure Elise does!"

Elise looked up, still carrying the tied up Goten, and enjoying it far too much. "As a matter of fact, I do."

"Then what is it?" Gohan asked again.

"You'll see in a minute."

"You bes hiding somethin' from me, ain't ya?" Gohan said.

We blinked. Twice. Then we turned to look at him. "You're… kidding.. right?" I asked.

"That was funny Gohan… don't ever do that again," Elise glared.

"What you talkin' 'bout? You two bes fuckin' whacked out, G!"

"I'M GOING TO KILL GEOFF!!!! IT WILL BE VERY BLOODY AND PAINFUL TOO!!!" I then screamed, running into the school.

"Oh dear…" Elise said, following me.

Elise finally caught up to me as I was following the screams. "You're going to kill my only brother!"

"What about It?"

"Oh, Eric? Hey… what happened to him?"

"Me? I'z right here. But I'z not Eric, I'z Grandmastuh E funk!" Eric then said, doing the 'word' pose.

"Oh Christ! Another one!" Elise mumbled.

"ACK! GET AWAY!!" I cried, kicking him.

"Whatchu talkin' about, yo?"

"Make it stop!" I pleaded, curling up into the foetal position.

"They bes crazy, yo." Gohan said, pointing to us.

I looked at Elise. "Hey… if Goten has a pager, does he also have a cell phone?"

"Hmm… let me check…" She grinned. Great, wrong idea to give her…

A few minutes later, Elise grinned. "That was fun... and I found one!"

I blinked, shaking my head. "Great, hand it over."

She complied and I dialled the Son's number.

"CHICHI! YOUR CHILDREN ARE GOING CRAZY!! SAVE US!!"

I held the phone away from my ear as she screamed. "NANI?! IT'S ALL GOKU'S FAULT ISN'T IT!? I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!!!!"

I handed it back to Elise who had a fun time with putting it back where she found it and we waited.

"GOKU!!!!! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!" Chichi screamed as she ran in.

"Chichi, snap them out of it first!!" I said.

She nodded then whipped out the trusty frying pan of doom.

I poked Elise, "untie Goten."

"Fine…" she grumbled and untied him. Chichi hit them both over the head with the frying pan; they got very frightened looks as she yelled at them.

And yelled.

And yelled.

"GOMEN NASAI OKAASAN!! It'll never happen again!" They said in unison.

"It worked!" Elise and I did a happy dance as Chichi then looked up.

"GOKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Thirty seconds later, Goku ran up to her. "Nani, Chichisan?" He said shakily while cowering in fear.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO GOHANCHAN AND GOTENCHAN!!??" She yelled as he backed up.

"Actually, as the janitor of this here school, I discovered something truly disturbing!" Goku smiled and whipped out a bunch of charts.

"Does he know what all those words mean?" I whispered to Elise.

"Probably not…"

"Anyway, as you can see from this chart, this chart and this chart, is that this was not the fault of Geoff."

We blinked, and then looked over the crudely drawn charts in red and blue crayons. "This is Kuno, it was his fault. This is Geoff, he had nothing to do with it, he just happened to show up. This is us. This is me explaining it to you, this is the charts I'm holding, and this is what's on the chart, and this is me drawing the charts…" Goku said, telling us everything as he drew it.

"GOKU!!"

He smiled goofily and continued. "This chart shows the levels of the wigger gas and the oxygen levels. They were even."

"W…wigger… gas…?" Elise and I said, shocked.

"Yes, you see, Kuno invented this machine," He said, holding up a black crayon picture of a machine.

"Machine…?" Elise asked.

"Yep! It did everything! The gas converted Piccolo and Trunks and Youji and Gohan and Goten and Eric and Sonya and… um… those girls." Goku told us.

"I was wondering what happened to Sonya…"

"A machine did this? How did Kuno do that?" I asked.

"He told me it was the new oven for my office! How could I say no?"

"Goku… if you figured all this out, why didn't you turn the gas off?"

"Oops! I knew I forgot to do something while drawing all these charts… I had to make them perfect, ya know…"

"Dammit… he has ONE moment of intelligence… and he still manages to make himself look stupid…" Chichi grumbled.

"Goku… go turn the machine off now…" Elise said.

"Oh yea! I'll get right on that!" He flew off towards his office.

"Fucking moron…" I muttered.

"Yes, because, out of the act of love, I, Upperclassman Tatewaki Kuno, also known as the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, also Juuban High, as of now, made this machine so that you could love me, along with the pigtailed girl and Akane so we could all live happily under the stars!" Kuno said, standing before us.

"Aw, fuck it…" I muttered…

Akane then showed up behind him.

WHACK.

"YOU BAKA!" She cried, kicking him before she walked off.

Goku then flew back looking ecstatic.

"I turned off the machine by pressing the blue button which was clearly marked 'TURN ME OFF BY PRESSING THIS BUTTON' and then the machine stopped working because I evidently turned it off. I did that by pressing the button. It was clearly marked. It turned off then, due to the button. It was marked for me, so I couldn't mess it up. Now the oxygen levels will return to normal as shown is this chart! Isn't it pretty? I drew it with my new crayons! They were in the office, where the machine was that I turned off by pressing the button that was clearly marked. The machine then turned off, because the button said 'TURN ME OFF BY PRESSING THIS BUTTON'! The machine stopped working right after I pressed it. Then I walked out, closing the door, which clearly said 'Goku, this is your office. Do not eat me, or anything inside'. I walked down the hall, where there were lockers and people. The people didn't notice me, and I didn't do anything because they were not marked. Who are those people? They need to be clearly marked so I know what to do with them. What if they weren't supposed to be there? How would I know where to move them, or if they need to be cooked and for how long they need to be cooked for and under what level of heat? I need to go work on the heating system now; I think we need an air conditioner. Do you want an air conditioner? You should be clearly marked if you want one. Anyway… ooo, I smell popcorn… why isn't popcorn clearly marked? Um… what was I saying? Hey... where did everybody go?"

He looked up and we were all long gone.

Meanwhile…

"HOW COULD YOU YOUJI?! And I trusted you, too! I shall never trust you again!" Elise went all over dramatic over the poor boy.

"I had no control!" He protested in defence.

"Sure you didn't, Grandmasta Weiss person." Elise said, sticking out her tongue.

"Grand master… what now?" Youji asked, his eyes doing the surprised thing.

"You heard me!" Elise said, grabbing Goten and walking outside.

"Oh, so she isn't mad at him but she's mad at me?" Youji asked in exasperation.

"She thinks he's cute or something," I shrugged.

"And I'm not cute?!"

"You have a concave stomach and your eyes look weird without the sunglasses. Live with it, or EAT!!"

"But what if I get fat?" Youji cried.

"No… I doubt you will." I rolled my eyes.

"I feel ignored!" Trunks spoke up.

No one talked to him.

"Hello, guys??" Trunks kept talking.

"Hey... whatever happened to Trunks?" I asked.

"NANI!??!!" Trunks shrieked.

"I dunno… weird." Gohan shrugged as we left. The school.

"GUYS!!?? TALK TO ME!!! I KNOW YOU CAN SEE ME!!!!"

"Hi Trunks!" Eric smiled.

"GUYS?! TALK TO ME!!!"

Moron.